Chapter 84 Section III 2

I went to the hospital for a follow-up examination and told the doctor who treated me that I couldn't remember anything when I was just discharged from the hospital, but I'm much better now.He bared his teeth, smiled, and said: Let me tell you, you're fine.When I was about to leave, he suddenly took out a book from the drawer and said: I almost forgot!This book is yours.I put it on the window sill of the men's toilet... I said shyly: I put it there for the patients and doctors to see.With a big wave of his hand, he said decisively: We don't read this kind of book──We don't want this kind of thing, so I had to pick up the book in embarrassment and put it in my pocket.The book was largely the same, except for some yellow water stains and swelling.Walking into the outpatient hall, I secretly put the book on the long chair again.Then, I walked out of the hospital thinking: I never want to come to this place again.

My opinion is very different from that of Modiano.He regards memory as a positive thing and makes the protagonist pursue it hard; I regard memory as a disgusting thing and accept it like a bitter medicine. My memory has not yet fully recovered, but I already feel that it is enough and I can’t wait to forget it Some, but, as you know, I agree with him in that memory loss is a huge problem, and memory itself is a fundamental area that cannot be escaped.For this reason, I hope that everyone will read it. As for my book, it is up to you to read it or not.I just left the hospital and went back to the Wanshou Temple.

My cousin has had enough of staying in Beijing and wants to go back to Thailand.I wondered how it was enough for him to stay until today: what's the point of staying in a hotel all day long.In the evening, we went to the airport to see him off, and he suddenly became very excited, took my hand and said: Cousin, I don’t know when I will see you again.I perfunctorily said to him: Yes, yes; but I hoped that he would board the plane early.As long as he passes through the security gate, we can go home.From then on, I will never see this cousin who came from nowhere and I can't remember how.He couldn't speak, and he said: Do you still remember the steamed cakes that grandma made for us... It was like a thunderbolt from the clear sky exploding above my head, reminding me of the famine years when I was young.

At that time, I was looking for bitter vegetables in the open space. Then, our common grandmother, a kind and kind old woman, used these wild vegetables and steamed flour cakes for us to eat.In addition to looking for wild vegetables, the two of us also stole things.Go out in the middle of the night and steal cucumbers, eggplants, carrots, and if possible, chickens and rabbits from other people's plots.After taking these things back, grandma shook her head after seeing them.But she still cooked these things by hand.Then, my cousin and I ate these soft boiled vegetables and meat without oil or salt.Grandma wouldn't eat at all -- my cousin and I were two orphans, but there was a grandma with white hair and flabby cheeks.I don't regret at all that I forgot what I did as a thief, but I shouldn't forget my grandma.My eyes were filled with tears... At the same time, my cousin was still chattering, saying, "Now I can live a human life. If I want money and money, I want a wife and a wife--the spirit of my grandma in heaven will be happy."He didn't say a word about me.I looked at this oily guy and thought to myself: I'll forget about him, that's right...

We went home at night, sat in the taxi, and I was morose.She asked me what was wrong, and I said that I thought of my grandma, and she was also sad.This surprised me: Could it be that my grandma is also her grandma?Assuming so, she is my cousin.Under current law, cousins ​​are close relatives and marriage is prohibited.This incident made my heart pound.When I got home, she patted me on the head and said: Poor orphan... I have to treat you better in the future.This is of course good news.I asked her how she was going to treat me well, and she said that she would never hit me on the head again.This good news is a little bigger... Later, on the bed, I asked this question affectionately: Are you my cousin?The answer is: wrong!I am your aunt.I quickly left her and sat up, feeling goosebumps all over my body—I think every man will have this reaction when he accidentally hugs his aunt.Then, with the light leaking in through the plastic shutters, I saw her smile and the goosebumps went away.Apparently she's not my aunt—nor her age.She said: What a villain, I brought up my grandma, and after less than five minutes of being serious, I started talking nonsense again-it's really a dog who can't change eating shit.That's what I was going to say about her—of course, I wouldn't compare her to a dog.Looks like she won't be my cousin: that doesn't sound like an attitude towards a cousin.The good news today is: I have never committed the crime of raping my aunt.The bad news is that the cousin is gone.