Chapter 2 Eight Horses

"Sir, is this the first time you come to Qingdao to see the sea?" "Sir, you want to go to the beach to play, walk from the lawn, through the woods, is the sea." "Sir, you want to see the sea from a distance. Look, on the west side of the lawn, walk through the woods—there are Canadian poplars and ginkgo trees. From the road between the ginkgo trees, you can see the sea from the top of the hill." "Sir, they say that Qingdao Sea is different from all seas, and is more beautiful than other seas in China. It is a hundred times better than Beidaihe. Have you never been to Beidaihe? Is the water there clear or muddy?"

"Sir, today is July 5th, and there are still five days before school starts. After class, you will be busy. You should look at the sea first." In a small white building on the ×× mountain in the residential area of ​​Qingdao, in a well-lit room downstairs, Mr. Dashi, who has only been there for 50 minutes, is looking at the scenery outside the window.The servant who looks after the house, while tidying up the house and arranging the bedding for the visitor, chats with the visitor.This conversation was evidently the servant's wish to make a good impression on his guests.The first time he spoke, Mr. Dashi smiled and ignored him.Taking a quick look at the big yellow ship logo on the small suitcase in the room, I realized that Mr. Dashi had traveled abroad, so I changed my tone and asked visitors to pay attention to the sea of ​​Qingdao.Mr. Dashi still smiled and said nothing, but the footman said mockingly, how the sea in Qingdao is different from the sea in other places, it is very mysterious and difficult to understand.

After finishing his duties, the footman rubbed his hands, stood by the door and said, "Sir, if you call me, just ring the bell. My name is Wang Dafu, and they all call me Old Wang. Sir, I Do you understand the words?" Mr. Dashi didn't speak until this time: "Thank you, Lao Wang. I can understand everything you say." "Sir, I've read a book written by Mr. Zhu at school. It's called "Throwing into the Sea". It's interesting." Old Wang, the servant, said so proudly, and left with a smile on his face.God knows what kind of book this is. After the servant went out, Mr. Dashi sat at the desk by the window and began to write letters to his beautiful fiancée who was two thousand miles away.

Yuan Yuan: I have arrived in Qingdao.When I came here, everything was really the same as at home.Please rest assured that all food, accommodation and facilities are well prepared here!Here was a servant who looked after the house, who was not very obnoxious-looking, and who liked to talk, and used some new words in his speech, new words that did not quite match his life.The footman, who could be called a "quasi-intellectual," had just left my room.When helping me with my luggage in the room, he said a lot of good things about the sea in Qingdao.According to my guess, this man may have been a waiter of a seaside hotel.He had the air of a waiter in a big hotel.He must have known many stories and remembered many stories. (It's really a cow I need!) I want to use him as a living dictionary and turn him thoroughly in two months here.

My window is looking at the sea, that thing is really confusing!But don't worry, I won't jump into the sea.If I had been here for a longer time, had gotten to know it, and understood it, I wouldn't dare to say it.But if I accidentally slipped and fell into the sea, I will try my best to swim to the shore, because I will think of you at that time, I will not let the sea catch me, but let you alone . Mr. Dashi sized up and captured a bit of the scene outside the window on the letter paper, and sent it to the person in the distance.The lawn, woods and distant sea set off like a moving painting.Mr. Dashi then continued to write: The small window of my house is facing a piece of lawn, which is a lawn that has been carefully designed and artificially arranged like a beautiful blanket.It is dotted with some unknown yellow flowers and plants. From a distance, those flowers are almost embroidered on it.I think of that little cushion you made in the living room at home.At the end of the lawn was a grove of aspens, which the footman said were Canadian aspens.At the end of the forest is a sea, and the color seems to change there all the time: it was a dark blue ribbon before, but it is like a piece of silver in this season.

Mr. Dashi also wanted to quote two lines of poems to explain the light and color of the distant sea and the sky and the earth.As soon as I looked up, I saw a yellow spot in the lawn, which happened to be inlaid in the place where the whole lawn needed a little yellow most.It was the figure of a woman in a light yellow robe. The woman was about to walk across the lawn to the sea when she disappeared among the poplars.People seem to have walked into the sea. There is no poem that can explain the delicate feeling that passes away in a moment under the sun. Mr. Ying Dashi ended his first letter to his fiancée with the following sentences: The school is not far from my residence. One mile away, when I was in class, I had to go up a small hill and pass a long pagoda tree.Wild flowers are blooming on the mountain road, the color is yellow and golden.I like that unknown yellow flower.

When Mr. Dashi got off the train at twenty o'clock in the morning.Arranged the dormitory on the ground, and after writing the letter, I went to the school's academic affairs office to discuss with the dean about the allocation of twelve hours of lectures in the summer school.After finishing the matter very easily, I ran to a small restaurant on the seaside by myself and had a good lunch.When I got back to my residence, it was already X o'clock in the afternoon.Then I started to write a letter to the fiancée again, reporting what had happened in half a day. Yuan Yuan: I have already scheduled my twelve lectures through the Academic Affairs Office.All times are before 10:00 am.There were eight lectures, and the topics discussed were all those things I had taught in the Beijing school, and I could speak it very well without preparation.In addition, I am also in charge of modern Chinese literature at four o'clock, and discuss the trends represented by several modern Chinese novelists at two o'clock.You can imagine that these questions must have aroused their interest when I went to class to discuss them.Today is the 5th, and school will not start until five days later.

I should follow our agreement. During the day, apart from going to the library or going for a walk by the sea, I will come and tell you what I have seen and heard.I will try to do this.I will make sure that you can receive a letter from me every day. This letter contains me, and all kinds of society I have seen here, and you will not hide anything big about Xiaomi. I now live in a very impressive building.This was originally arranged by the school for several professors hired from afar.There are a total of eight people living in this house, and I am not familiar with the other seven people.Here lived Professor A, a physicist, Professor B, a biologist, Professor C, a moral philosopher, Professor Ding, an expert in Han history, and Professor E, an expert in the history of literature in the Six Dynasties, and so on.I have never met these celebrities, and I will tell you about their looks in a few days.

I am going to go to the headmaster's house tomorrow, and I will have lunch with him tomorrow.I can guess that when this person sees me, he will say: "How about it? It's okay...? I should invite you to come to the beach to have a look! I don't want you to come here because of lovesickness, I just want you to rest and rest. Look at the sea. If you look at the sea alone, you may fall into the sea and be bitten by a big fish!" Yuan Yuan, tell me, how should I answer this person. When I got off the train, I stood outside the station for a while, and accidentally saw a newspaper posted on the newspaper reading board.The newspaper carried news about us.Said that the two of us are going to Qingdao to get married soon.There are still many things that we don't know about, yet they are published line by line and printed out for everyone to see.When the editor relayed the popular legend about me, he actually added a moving title, "Welcome Mr. Zhou Dashi".I am so afraid of this welcome.I am worried that someone will come to me in a while.I ought to have some way of getting away from all trouble so that I have time to write to you.Just think about it, if I was sitting at the table writing a letter at this moment, an uninvited guest unexpectedly entered my room and suddenly asked: "Mr. Dashi, what romance novels are you writing again! How many novels have you written in total?

Are all stories true?make sense? "This question is really embarrassing! Of course I have nothing to answer. But the next day, they will still write a lot of things I didn't expect! They will say: Mr. Dashi told the reporter himself. The truth, He probably never saw me. When Mr. Dashi left ××, he agreed with his fiancée Yuan Yuan to write a letter back to ×× every day.But on his first day in Qingdao, he wrote three letters.It was almost night when the third letter was written and ready to be thrown into the school mailbox by the servant Lao Wang. Mr. Dashi enjoyed the first evening after arriving in Qingdao by the window of his residence.Looking at the lawn outside the window, the lawn is being baked into a light purple by the sunset on the sea.That strange color brought him a little memory.

Thinking of another time, it seemed that there was also a piece of purple dazzled in his eyes.Those were some purple letterheads, I can't remember wrongly. He opened the box, took out a thick miscellaneous notebook from the bottom of the suitcase, and looked for something in the book from the corner of the window.It preserves a part of the person's past life.After searching for a while, sure enough, he found a note marked "July 5th". july 5th Everything borders on superfluous.Because wherever I go, I will be surrounded by memories. What's new to pull me out of the mud?There is nothing "new" in this world, even troubles are very old things. After reading this, I was a little lost.Generally, the body is tired from the long-distance torture and needs a short rest. But Mr. Dashi is ready to go for a walk in an old environment.He went back to reading a letter from X that he sent to Nanjing on July 5 two years ago.The original letter was written on dark purple paper, and it was such a pleasing evening when the letter was sent out. However, human affairs often have their conflicts. What God agrees with, people do not agree with, and the fate that people agree with does not agree. X finally married an accountant with a little grief. After X became another person's wife, knowing that Mr. Dashi was still hopeless and helpless, he wrote to ask Mr. Dashi if he wanted her to do something.Do him a favor.Mr. Dashi wrote a letter, intending to tell X not to torture her with the little fantasies of the past. ×, believe me, I have seen it, and I understand everything.Everything cannot be arranged by manpower, so we can't do too much to force it.I hope that we all have more sense and can untie the bondage of love and hate. I heard that you are very meek and chaste to be a wife, and this news makes acquaintances very happy. ... The dead, the days of the dead, and the things that have died, if they can still torture people, they should not be left in people's hearts to be tortured; therefore, if a forgetful person wants to "happiness", he should first learn The most important thing is to be forgetful.I've been living in a kind of escape lately, hoping to escape from all the siege of memory.Rather than making yourself very weak with all your memories, it is better to keep a hope for the future. Thank you for mentioning those stories in your letter, just when I hate all written stories.One should live, not imagine life!If the story is really as good as you praised, it only proves that the person holding the pen is willing to live in all life, because he is useless and incompetent, so he turns to abuse that hand. You can write novels, because it is obvious that you are a woman who can write better than many people.If you do not have this self-confidence, you should listen to the honest and honest opinion of a friend.Everything in the family life is very organized, and it is not necessary to take a notebook. You don't need a pen to imagine for yourself, but you have to for the reader.China still needs this kind of people who forget about their own successes and failures and do something. I'll come to XX soon, I want to see that "I love her so much but she doesn't care about me" girl.For three years I was done.I looked at her, if everything is still so boring, I am going to go back to the countryside to live, and I don't want to bother anyone anymore.I should keep a kind of silence and live in the country for ten years.Spend the most important days. Will I be so alive in another two years? Everything is constantly changing under time.First, this X died of illness last year.Second, that girl is now Mr. Dashi's fiancée.Thirdly, Mr. Dashi can hardly understand all the emotions in that little diary and that old letter now. He thought to himself: People are weird enough, who can believe in the past, and who can know the future?The old one, we forget about it.Certainly, some people have forgotten all the old things, but the shadow of a person smiling at a certain time and place cannot be forgotten.New, we think it is right, we want to keep it, but who can keep what in this world? Under the comparison of time, Mr. Dashi looked a bit at a loss.At first I was dazed by the window, and then I laughed.So far everything seems to be in order.A person should be content, should be safe.It was getting dark slowly, everything was so quiet. Yuan Yuan: The summer school started as scheduled.At the principal's welcome banquet, Zhuang Xixie called those who come from afar to give lectures "thousands of miles"; one is that everyone is famous, and the other is that they are not afraid of long distances.If we were all Maxima, the place where we live now should be called a "stable"! I mean slightly different from the headmaster.I thought that the house where several people lived should be called a "Natural Sanatorium" to be worthy of the name.Believe it or not, people here seem a little bit sick from a medical point of view (I'm really qualified as a doctor here!) Didn't I say that I should do my best to avoid people who trouble me?However, the result was the opposite. Of the seven people who lived with me in the past three days, six of them have become very familiar with me.Sometimes I went out for a walk with one or two of them, and sometimes they came to my house to chat, and in a short period of time we formed a very good friendship.Professors D, C, B, and E are especially close friends with me.It is because of this friendship that I diagnose them as patients.I'm right, it's not a joke.At least two of these professors were a little crazy, Professor B and Professor C. I am very glad that I met these people here, and learned a lot from these experts.Some of these experts are fifty-four years old, and some are only about thirty.It is as if all they have in their lives is specialized knowledge, some of which cannot be separated from "history" or "formula", so they appear very dignified and mature. But this is a bit in conflict with human nature, a bit unnatural.A novelist who is less than 30 years old and has the same career as him, in the opinion of these experts, should probably belong to the "romantic school". It is precisely because they are "classical", so they became interested in me, a "romantic", and formed friendship.I believe that when I talk to them, I am checking their health, and at the same time, I am releasing their "intention knot".Some of these experts have sons and daughters who are already in the third year of college, and they have written love letters to their classmates and fell in love at school. However, their hearts are really innocent. Although these people are rich in knowledge, they have never enjoyed life.Even a spiritual desire is suppressed and blocked.I got a little precious knowledge from here. It turns out that people have shouted the term "freedom of love" for more than ten years, the stimulation these transitional characters receive, and how many tragedies are hidden under this stimulation, and how common this tragedy is. Yuan Yuan, you think what I said is too much, don't you?I will slowly write out these respectable friends one by one for you to read. Dash Professor A invited Mr. Dashi to his room to drink tea and chat. The layout of the room left some impressions in Mr. Dashi's mind: a family photo was placed on the small table in the room, and six fat children surrounded the couple. people.The wife seems to be very fat. There is a white cloth pillow in the white linen mosquito net, with a little blue flower embroidered on it.There is an old-fashioned buckle bag next to the pillow.One "Suspected Rain Collection" and one "Five Hundred Fragrant Poems".A half-naked painting of a beautiful woman in a cigarette advertisement hangs inside a large white linen mosquito net. On the windowsill were a small bottle of red kidney-protecting pills, a bottle of cod-liver oil, and a headache ointment. Professor B and Mr. Dashi went for a walk by the seaside.A group of young women in new-style bathrobes approached and passed by.Professor B turned around and looked at the backs of several women, and then said, "It's amazing, these women seem to be born with nothing to do, just play like that, don't you think so?" "..." "Shanghai girls are not afraid of the cold." "..." "Nurses at Baolong Hospital pay 16 yuan a month, salesmen at Xinxin Company pay 40 yuan a month. If they don't mean to be celibate, don't you think it's a chance to meet each other at the counter?" There are more chances than in the ward?" "..." "I don't understand what Liu Bannong means. The students in the Women's College of Arts and Sciences all laughed at him." When they reached the end of the beach, the two crossed the road to the racecourse where someone was tuning a horse.Mr. Dashi wants to go across the racetrack with Professor B, from the park to the mountain. Professor B expressed his opinion, thinking that the road was too far away, and the tide had receded by the beach, so it would be more interesting to walk on the wet sand.So the two returned to the beach. Mr Dashi said: "Why don't you come with your wife? My family is in Henan, but in Beijing?" "..." "It's really troublesome for children to study. Are all three in Nankai?" "..." "It's good that there are no bandits in my hometown. I never go home. In fact, it doesn't take much trouble to get my wife out; why don't I get out?" "..." "That's good too. Living a celibate life alone can be said to be free and easy, and convenient. But, isn't it lonely sometimes?" "..." "Do you think Shanghai is better than Beijing? Strange. If a person in his twenties wants to mess around, he should praise Shanghai. If he wants to study, he should go there other than Beijing. Do you think Shanghai can—" The group of young women happened to be Walk back from the south end of the bathing place.One of them was wearing a red bathrobe, tall and plump, with an extremely attractive demeanor.With two bare feet, a row of beautiful feet was left on the wet sand as he passed by. Professor B lowered his head, picked up a small clam shell shining with pearl luster from a woman's footprint, and gently touched it with his fingers. Passionately brushing away the sand adhering to the shell. "Mr. Dashi, look, this seaside thing is really beautiful." Mr. Dashi didn't say anything, just smiled, turned his head to the sea and sky, and looked at the white sails and smoke in the sky. Professor C of Moral Philosophy came back to the dormitory from a walk in the mountains near his residence, and the guard Lao Wang handed him a red wedding invitation in front of the door, "Sir, there is wine!" Professor C saw that the wedding invitation was sent by Mr. X from Shanghai. When chatting in Mr. Shi's room, Mr. X was mentioned. "Mr. Dashi, you write novels and I have a story for you. In the twelfth year of the Republic of China, I taught at XX University in Hangzhou and worked with Mr. X. You must have been famous for a long time. This is a famous story since the May 4th Movement. A character who had lived a lively life for a long time! This Mr. X lived by the West Lake at that time, rented two small houses, and shared a room with a lover surnamed Kou, and each had a bed. The two had meals together every day , take walks together, work and study together, but do not sleep together at night. It is said that this is called "spiritual love". In order to expound the benefits of this kind of spiritual love, Mr. X also wrote a book, explaining it and advocating it. Sex Behavior has caused so many disputes in society, and sexual morality is an issue that many scholars discuss enthusiastically and happily. At that time, if there was a rooster who could act like an indifferent capon by the side of the hen, it would be for the sake of it. Attention young scholars. As for a public man, being able to do this will naturally attract more attention and become a great event. Society is such a society where everything is superficial, so Mr. X in his part of life, Naturally, there is a sense of grandeur, and life seems to be very fulfilling. Analyzing it, it is just the Buddhist concept of impurity, and the Confucian chastity theory. Two kinds of ghosts are there to cause trouble. "A friend asked Mr. X, you live a very leisurely life. If there is a child at home, wouldn't it be more lively? Mr. X looked down on that friend and said, Hey, sir, you really don't understand me. Where are we in love? Beastlike like ordinary people; you are really - you can't see Taishan. Haven't you read my book? He immediately gave the friend a book. "Later, the mother-in-law ran away from Sichuan Province, and the two couples had to give up a room for the mother-in-law to move the two beds into one room and lay them side by side. Another friend found out about this. , I asked him, Mr. X will change his views now? Mr. X was very angry when he heard this, and said, hum, you treat me like a beast! I will never associate with that friend again. "After a year, the mother-in-law felt that her life was too leisurely, and it was a bit lonely to live on. She wished to be a grandmother. While eating with the couple, she expressed her opinions in a joking tone, thinking that there was a child in the family, which was more troublesome. It must be more lively. Before the old mother finished speaking, the two couples shouted in unison: "Mother, you really can't help it. Why don't you read our book? Both couples regard the mother-in-law as old and stubborn. It seems very pitiful." I think that people who have not received higher education really have no lofty ideals other than wanting to have children for her to raise children and have grandchildren! "After a while, the woman fell ill and suffered from a certain kind of disease caused by anemia. Mr. X accompanied her to the doctor's office for consultation. The doctor knew the two people before, and he called the woman Mrs. X on the report card. , the two couples were not happy, and ordered the doctor to change another piece of paper and change it to Miss Kou. The doctor saw the patient and knew the cause of the disease. It was a pair of idealists who messed up their bodies for that ideal that violated human nature. Yes. It’s good, it’s very simple, and it will be good if you develop animal nature! Doctors are obliged to be doctors, so they should honestly report their opinions to Mr. X. After listening to Mr. X, Mr. X didn’t say a word, and he dragged the woman away The woman still didn't understand what was going on. Mr. X said that this guy was a rascal, a lunatic, and he was qualified as a doctor. Later, he told others that this doctor was too unscrupulous, and he must make a living by selling aphrodisiacs and performing abortions. I want to go to the Yamen to sue him. The public should use the law to ban this kind of scoundrel, so that he is not allowed to exist openly in the society. It is reasonable. "So the woman changed to the doctor to take traditional Chinese medicine, and took countless decoctions of Fritillaria Angelicae. After lingering for half a year, she finally died. Mr. X erected a monument on the grave of the woman, and engraved words on the stone: Our love is a holy and pure love! At that time Our society is not stingy with sympathy, so it is natural to admit this matter. Whenever friends do not agree with this matter, Mr. X thinks this friend is mean and dirty, and does not understand how sacred, pure and beautiful love in the world can be, forever Never associate with that friend again. "Today I received this wedding invitation, and only then did I realize that Mr. X is going to marry a Shanghai courtesan in Shanghai in August. It's interesting. The trend has changed, and I will definitely not insist on that now." After listening to the story, Mr. Dashi smiled and asked Professor C: "Mr. C, let me ask you, what is your view on love?" Professor C folded the red wedding invitation into an old pig's head. "I don't have a concept of love. I'm an old man, and these things should be the stuff of my sons and daughters." There is a picture of the Greek god of love hanging on the wall of Mr. Dashi's room. Professor C looked and looked at it with his hands behind his back, as if he wanted to find something from the concave and convex of the marble statue, and found something.When he looked away from the photo, he suddenly asked: "Mr. Dashi, there is a ××× in your class, isn't it?" "There is such a person. How do you know her? This girl is really the most beautiful in the class..." "She is my niece." "Oh, you are relatives!" "This kid is still smart, and he can read well," said Professor C, shifting his eyes to the photo on the wall again, and asked absently, "Mr. Dashi, is this photo taken from a Greek sculpture?" ?” It seems that there is no need to answer this question, and Mr. Dashi understands it very well. Mr. Dashi thought to himself, "Mr. B has eyes and knows beauty." He couldn't help smiling knowingly. So both of them have a slender and mature girl shadow at the same time, swaying in the memory. Professor Ding invited Mr. Dashi to take a boat by the sea.The milky white small yacht supported the small white triangular sails, and along the breeze, it slid towards the surface of the sapphire blue mirror.The weather was clear and mild.The waves patted the bow and sides of the ship gently, and the ship was slightly sideways, and when it slid forward, it was as light as a little swallow skimming the water.There is a little lavender smoke at the end of the sea and sky.There are three or five white birds in the sky, calmly flying to the distant sea.This situation is exactly like the situation in another record of Mr. Dashi.Even that boat is like the current boat.There is a slight difference, that is, the person sitting opposite Mr. Dashi is not a doctor, but a professor of philosophy instead. The two of them took the boat around Little Qingdao.Discussing the issue that Dr. Ruomo and Mr. Dashi hadn't discussed yet - women, an issue that can never be concluded! Professor Ding said: "Perhaps everyone should have a kind of dominion in order to be like a human being. No matter who is subject to gods, ghosts, laws, doctors, money, reputation, toothache, beriberi, you must With a little restriction from the outside or from the inside, a human being can be like a person, a person who is not bound by anything. On the surface, he looks extremely free, but in fact he can't do anything successfully. Because he is not a person. He has no restraints. , and at the same time there will not be much strength. "If I am not restrained at all now, I will not suffer from all desires, and I will not care about all people and affairs. This is by no means a good phenomenon. Sometimes I am afraid when I think about it. I understand that I can survive by myself, and I have to thank the society Give me that little restraint. Without it, I would kill myself. "Dr. Ruomo and I have the same seats on this boat, and we are not married yet. However, he hates women. He said: a woman tortures your body when she is around you, and tortures you when she leaves you." Your soul. Woman is the god of a poet's imagination, the god of a prodigal son's senses. He professes to hate women, but soon he brought a double god into his house to be his wife and live under his skirts. I am exactly the opposite of him. I'm interested in women, a lot of women. Those who are fat, thin, a bit blunt or snobbish, just because they seem to be women, have women's advantages and women's weaknesses, I will never dislike They. I can't say Dr. Ruomo's epigrams, but I know women better than him. Many people who hate women have married the same woman in very casual circumstances. As for me, I like many women, and I will always love women. Love, but I will never marry a woman again. "According to my philosophical nihilism, I should have committed suicide a long time ago. However, if I haven't committed suicide until today, it is thanks to the fact that there are still some women in this world. I love these women very lustfully. I love them like a lunatic in the absurdity of my imagination. I have a crush on one of them in particular, but I try my best to restrain my behavior and never let her know that I love her. If I let her know, she may marry I, I am not prepared for this move. I evade this move. I just want to wait until she is forty years old and has lost most of the important brilliance of a woman, and then I will sue her. What she lost , still exists in my heart. I love her because I love her very lustfully. I always feel that just having her is not enough, so I will try my best to marry someone who is clearly inferior to me. Let her spend this beautiful life with that man. When she herself is old, my love must still be fresh and alive. "What do you think, Mr. Dashi?" Mr. Dash has his opinion: "Your plan is still similar to that of Dr. Ruo Mo. You didn't create philosophy there, but you were created by philosophy there. Like many people, you put forward accounts, expressing foresight and boldness, and thinking that the future will be certain Turn your capital into profit. But your account is too far away, I am worried about you. I have no reason to object to this kind of investment, because everyone has the right and freedom to spend their lives. When throwing oneself into the sea is a kind of happiness, it is inconvenient for you to interfere. However, if I were a woman, I would not be very interested in your plan. Although you have philosophy, you lack common sense. You think that at that age, you can still think like It is so full of fantasy nowadays, and you think that a woman at forty years old will still be as sentimental as she was at eighteen. This is really stupid. I dare say you will lose on this. If you are interested, read a book about ×× You will feel that your philosophy has to be modified a little. You love her, you have to give her. This is the natural way. You love her, make her yours, it is not enough, because time threatens your love , I want to violate the order of human life, and say that all this is for the sake of women. I see, this is the same as binding feet, unnatural and a bit cruel." "You think it's unreasonable, don't you? Each of us can build a chapel at his will, and worship the God we believe in. The shrine I built is, I think, the most beautiful shrine in the world. From your point of view, it may be more costly to do so. But being in love is a kind of extravagant behavior. There are too many stingy people in this world, so everything can't be done well.I think miserliness is next to stupidity.If a person wants to shine his own personality, shining in the blue sky, dazzling people's eyes like gold stars, a fool will never do it. " "You want to do this because you are poisoned by the theater. You can be said to be a genius for acting in this way. I admit your cleverness." "You're right, I'm acting in a play. I'm very bold in arranging the roles. What I expect is to be outstanding in the whole play, but it's very human, and it's a sudden change when it's important. It's especially amazing.” Mr Dashi said: "That's right. If a man really wants to develop his whole life in the heat of the moment, in a perverted and unnatural way, from an artist's point of view there is no objection. All art The original does not allow mediocrity. But still using acting as an example, do you think that if the time is too long, can your heroine be able to support it?There are as many women in the world as there are for one hour the perfection which bows down to that God for poets and prodigal sons, but never for long.You admit that they will lose the luster of life at some point, but you don't want to think about what is left of a woman who has lost her luster on the surface. " "Then what do you mean?" "Love her, get her. Love her, give her everything." "Love her, how can I get her for a long time? Give her everything, what am I? Without me, how can I love her?" Mr. Dashi knew that Professor E was a person who divorced after a year of marriage, and wanted to know his opinion and feeling on this matter.Here is Professor E's answer: Woman, what a strange creature!If you say, "My God, my queen, look how I adore you! Let Shakespeare's breast be broken for a woman, and kiss me!"But what if that place is not a stage, but just a living room?You'll hear an unnatural voice (they're more natural when they're acting as usual), and they'll answer you, "No, I don't love you." Well, that's the end of the matter.Many men leave their lovers just like that, and men are of course considered broken in love.Afterwards, if the man's career does not go well, if his reputation is not very good, these women will think: "Fortunately, I have not been fooled." However, there is another kind of man who does not want to be Shakespeare, and cannot speak such elegant and moving words. All he wants is opportunity.When the opportunity allowed him to get close to that woman, he didn't need to say anything empty, just silently kissed her.In panic, the woman probably slapped him as soon as she stretched out her hand.However, the man didn't make a sound, but simply hugged the woman, and kissed the little lips for a minute.He remained silent, and offered no explanation for his behaviour.He knows that he is not in the council or classroom at this time, he is only doing one thing!As a result, there was silence.The woman thinks: "He has already kissed me." At the same time she knows that kissing does her no harm.Later, she became his wife.This man lived well with her, and she raised a large group of children for him within ten years, and she became a middle-aged fat woman; if the man was not good, she would explain: This is fate. Yes, women also have women's benefits.I understand their benefits.When God created them, he was not very careless. He not only gave them a delicate and soft body, but also gave them a contented and interesting temperament. What's more interesting, he also created a large group of men who pretend to be passionate, stupid and stupid at the same time, so There are romance novels, there are poems, there are lovelorn suicides, and there are—the result is that women occupy a special position in society, as if women are indispensable in everything. I thought there was something wrong with this arrangement.Starting from myself, I want to get rid of the influence and restraint of women, especially the uninteresting restraint of living together in the family, as soon as I can get rid of it.I just got divorced. Mr. Dashi looked towards the lawn, "Old Wang, what's the name of that yellow flower in the lawn?" Lao Wang had never heard this sentence, so he kept silent.Work with your head down. 达士先生又说，“老王，那个从草坪里走来看庚先生的女人是什么人？” 听差老王一面收拾书桌一面也举目从窗口望去，“××女子中学教书先生。长得很好，是不是？”说着，又把手向楼上指指，轻声的说，“快了，快了。”那意思似乎在说两人快要订婚，快要结婚。 达士先生微笑着，“快什么了？” 达士先生书桌上有本老舍作的小说，老王随手翻了那么一下，“先生，这是老舍作的，你借我这本书看看好不好？怎么这本书名叫？” 达士先生好象很生气的说： “怎么不叫？我问你，老王。” 楼上电铃忽响，大约住楼上的教授庚，也在窗口望见了经草坪里通过向寄宿舍走来的女人了，呼唤听差顶备一点茶。 一个从××寄过青岛的信—— 达士先生： 你给我为历史学者教授辛画的那个小影。我已见到了。你一定把它放大了点。你说到他向你说的话，真不大象他平时为人。可是我相信你画他时一定很忠实。你那枝笔可以担保你的观察正确。这个速写同你给其他先生们的速写一样各自有一种风格，有一种跃然纸上的动人风格，我读他时非常高兴。不过我希望你……因为你应当记得着，你把那些速写寄给什么人。教授辛简直是个疯子。 你不说宿舍里一共有八个人吗？怎么始终不告给我第七个是谁。你难道半个月以来还不同他相熟？照我想来这一定也有点原因。好好的告给我。 天保佑你。 瑗瑗 达士先生每当关着房门，记录这些专家的风度与性格到一个本子上去时，便发生一种感想：“没有我这个医生，这些人会不会发疯？”其实这些人永远不会发疯，那是很明白的。并且发不发疯也并非他注意的事情，他还有许多必需注意的事。 他同情他们，可怜他们。因为他自以为是个身心健康的人。他预备好好的来把这些人物安排在一个剧本里，这自以为医治人类灵魂的医生，还将为他们指示出一条道路，就是凡不能安身立命的中年人，应勇敢走去的那条道路。他把这件事，描写得极有趣味的寄给那个未婚妻去看。 但这个医生既感觉在为人类尽一种神圣的义务，发现了七个同事中有六个心灵皆不健全，便自然引起了注意另外那一个健康人的兴味。事情说来希奇，另外那个人竟似乎与他“无缘”。那人的住处，恰好正在达士先生所住房间的楼上，从××大学欢迎宴会的机会中，那人因同达士先生座位相近，×校长短短的介绍，他知道那是经济学者教授庚。除此以外，就不能再找机会使两人成为朋友了。两人不能相熟自然有个原因。 达士先生早已发现了，原来这个人精神方面极健康，七个人中只有他当真不害什么玻这件事得从另外一个人来证明，就是有一个美丽女子常常来到寄宿舍，拜访经济学者庚。 有时两人在房子里盘桓，有时两人就在窗外那个银杏树夹道上散步。那来客看样子约有二十五六岁，同时看来也可以说只有二十来岁。 身材面貌皆在中人以上。最使人不容易忘记，就是一双诗人常说“能说话能听话”的那种眼睛。也便是这一双眼睛，因此使人估计她的年龄，容易发生错误。 这女人既常常来到宿舍，且到来以后，从不闻一点声息，仿佛两人只是默默的对坐着。看情形，两个人感情很好。达士先生既注意到这两个人，又无从与他们相熟，因此在某一时节，便稍稍滥用一个作家的特权，于一瞥之间从女人所得的印象里，想象到这个女子的出身与性格，以及目前同教授庚的关系。 这女子或毕业于北平故都的国立大学，所学的是历史，对诗词具有兴味，因此词章知识不下于历史知识。 这女子在家庭中或为长女。家中一定是个绅士门阀，家庭教育良好，中学教育也极好。从×大学历史系毕业后，就来到××女子中学教书，每星期约教十八点钟课，收入约一百元左右。在学校中很受同事与学生敬爱，初来时，且间或还会有一个冒险的，不大知趣的山东籍国文教员，给她一种不甚得体的殷勤。然而那一种端静自重的外表，却制止了这男子野心的扩张。还有个更重要的原因，便是北京方面每天皆有一个信给她，这件事从学校同事看来，便是“有了主子”的证明，或是一个情人，或是一个好友，便因为这通信，把许多人的幻想消灭了。这种信从上礼拜起始不再寄来，原来那个写信人教授庚已到了青岛，不必再写什么信了。 这女人从不放声大笑，不高声说话，有时与教授庚一同出门，也静静的走去，除了脚步声音便毫无声响。教授庚与女人的沉默，证明两人正爱着，而且贴骨贴肉如火如荼的爱着。惟有在这种症候中，两个人才能够如此沉静。 女人的特点是一双眼睛，它仿佛总时时刻刻在警告人，提醒人。你看她，它似乎就在说：“您小心一点，不要那么看我。” 一个熟人在她面前说了点放肆话，有了点不庄重行动，它也不过那么看看。这种眼光能制止你行为的过分，同时又俨然在奖励你手足的撒野。它可以使俏皮角色诚实稳重，不敢胡来乱为，也能使老实人发生幻想，贪图进龋它仿佛永远有一种羞怯之光；这个光既代表贞洁，同时也就充满了情欲。 由于好奇，或由于与好奇差不多的原因，达士先生愿意有那么一个机会，多知道一点点这两人的关系。因为照他的观察来说，这两人关系一定不大平常，其中有问题，有故事。 再则女的那一分沉静实在吸引着他，使他觉得非多知道她一点不可。而且仿佛那女人的眼光，在达士先生脑子里，已经起了那么一种感觉：“先生，我知道你是谁。我不讨厌你。到我身边来，认识我，崇拜我，你不是个胡涂人，你明白，这个情形是命定的，非人力所能抗拒的。”这是一种挑战，一种沉默的挑战。然而达士先生却无所谓。他不过有点儿好奇罢了。 那时节，正是国内许多刊物把达士先生恋爱故事加以种种渲染，引起许多人发生兴味的时节。这个女人必知道达士先生是个什么人，知道达士先生行将同谁结婚，还知道许多达士先生也不知道的事，就是那种失去真实性的某一种铺排的极其动人的谣言。 达士先生来到青岛的一切见闻，皆告诉给那个未婚妻，上面事情同一点感想，却保留在一个日记本子上。 达士先生有时独自在大草坪散步，或从银杏夹道上山去看海，有三四次皆与那个经济学者一对碰头。这种不期而遇也可以说是什么人有意安排的。相互之间虽只随随便便那么点一点头各自走开，然而在无形中却增加了一种好印象。当达士先生从那个女人眼睛里再看出一点点东西时，他逃避了那一双稍稍有点危险的眼睛，散步时走得更远了一点。 他心想：“这真有点好笑。若在一年前，一定的，目前的事会使我害一种很厉害的玻可是现在不碍事了。生活有了免疫性，那种令人见寒作热的病全不至于上身了。”他觉得他的逃避，却只是在那里想方设法使别人不至于害那种玻因为那个女人原不宜于害病，那个教授庚，能够不害那一种病，自然更好。 可是每种人事原来皆俨然被一只看不见的手所安排。一切事皆在凑巧中发生，一切事皆在意外情形下变动。××学校的暑期学校演讲行将结束时，某一天，达士先生忽然得到一个不具名的简短信件，上面只写着这样两句话：学校快结束了，舍得离开海吗？（一个人）一个什么人？真有点离奇可笑。 这个怪信送到达士先生手边时，凭经验，可以看出写这个信的人是谁。这是一颗发抖的心同一只发抖的手，一面很羞怯，又一面在狡猾的微笑，把信写好亲自付邮的。不管这个人是谁，不管这信写得如何简单，不管写这个信的人如何措辞，达士先生皆明白那种来信表示的意义。达士先生照例不声不响，把那种来信搁在一个大封套里。一切如常，不觉得幸福也不觉得骄傲。间或也不免感到一点轻微惆怅。且因为自己那分冷静，到了明知是谁以后，表面上还不注意，仿佛多少总辜负了面前那年青女孩子一分热情，一分友谊。可是这仍然不能给他如何影响。假若沉静是他分内的行为，他始终还保持那分沉静。达士先生的态度，应当由人类那个习惯负一点责。应当由那个拘束人类行为，不许向高尚纯洁发展，制止人类幻想，不许超越实际世界，一个有势力的名辞负点责。达士先生是个订过婚的人。在“道德”名分下，把爱情的门锁闭，把另外女子的一切友谊拒绝了。 得到那个短信时，达士先生看了看，以为这一定又是一个什么自作多情的女孩子写来的。手中拈着这个信，一面想起宿舍中六个可怜的同事，心中不由得不侵入一点忧郁。“要它的，它不来；不要的，它偏来。”这便是人生？他于是轻轻的自言自语说：“不走，又怎么样？一个真正古典派，难道还会成一个病人？便不走，也不至于害病！”的确，就因事留下来，纵不走，他也不至于害病的。他有经验，有把握，是个不怕什么魔鬼诱惑的人。另外一时他就站过地狱边沿，也不眩目，不发晕。当时那个女子，却是个使人值得向地狱深阱跃下的女子。他有时自然也把这种近于挑战的来信，当成青年女孩子一种大胆妄为的感情的游戏，为了训练这些大胆妄为的女孩子，他以为不作理会是一种极好的处置。 瑗瑗： 我今天晚车回××达 达士先生把一个简短电报亲自送到电报局拍发后，看看时间还只五点钟。行期既已定妥，在青岛勾留算是最后一天了。记起教授乙那个神气，记起海边那种蚌壳。当达士先生把教授乙在海边拾蚌壳的一件事情告给瑗瑗时，回信就说：不要忘记，回来时也为我带一点点蚌壳来。我想看看那个东西！ 达士先生出了电报局，因此便向海边走去。 到了海水浴场，潮水方退，除了几个骑马会的外国人骑着黑马在岸边奔跑外，就只有两个看守浴场工人在那里收拾游船，打扫砂地。达士先生沿着海滩走去，低着头寻觅这种在白砂中闪放珍珠光的美丽蚌壳。想起教授乙拾蚌壳那副神气，觉得好笑。快要走到东端时，忽然发现湿沙上有谁用手杖斜斜的划着两行字迹，走过去看看，只见砂上那么写着：这个世界也有人不了解海，不知爱海。也有人了解海，不敢爱海。 达士先生想想那个意思，笑了。他是个辨别笔迹的专家，认识那个字迹，懂得那个意义。看看潮水的印痕，便知道留下这种玩意儿的人，还刚刚离此不久。这倒有点古怪。难道这人就知道达士先生今天一早上会来海边，恰好先来这里留下这两行字迹？还是这人每天皆来到海边，写那么两行字，期望有一天会给达士先生见到？不管如何，这方式显然的是在大胆妄为以外，还很机伶狡狯的，达士先生皱眉头看了一会，就走开了。一面仍然低头走去，一面便保护自己似的想道：“鬼聪明，你还是要失败的。你太年轻了，不知道一个人害过了某种病，就永远不至于再传染了！你真聪明，你这点聪明将来会使你在另外一件事情上成就一件大事业，但在如今这件事情上，应当承认自己赌输了！这事不是你的错误，是命运。你迟了一年。……”然而不知不觉，却面着大海一方，轻轻的抒了一口气。 不了解海，不爱海，是的。了解海，不敢爱海，是不是？ 他一面走一面口中便轻轻数着，“是——不是？不是——是？” 忽然间，砂地上一件新东西使他愣住了。那是一对眼睛，在湿砂上画好的一对美丽眼睛。旁边还那么写着：“瞧我，你认识我！”是的，那是谁，达士先生认识得很清楚的。 一个爬砂工人用一把平头铲沿着海岸走来，走过达士先生身边时，达士先生赶着问：“慢点走，我问你，你知不知道这是谁画的？”说完他把手指着那些骑马的人。那工人却纠正他的错误，手指着山边一堵浅黄色建筑物，“哪，女先生画的！” “你亲眼看见是个女先生画的？” 工人看看达士先生，不大高兴似的说，“我怎不眼见？” 那工人说完，扬扬长长的走了。 达士先生在那砂地上一对眼睛前站立了一分钟，仍然把眉头略微皱了那么一下，沉默的沿海走去了。海面有微风皱着细浪。达士先生弯腰拾起了一把海砂向海中抛去。“狡猾东西，去了吧。” 十点二十分钟达士先生回到了宿舍。 听差老王从学校把车票取来，告给达士先生，晚上十一点二十五分开车，十点半上车不迟。 到了晚上十点钟，那听差来问达士先生，是不是要他把行李先送上车站去。就便还给达士先生借的那本。达士先生会心微笑的拿起那本书来翻阅，却给听差一个电报稿，要他到电报局去拍发。那电报说：瑗瑗：我害了点小病，今天不能回来了。我想在海边多住三天；病会好的。达士 一件真实事情，这个自命为医治人类灵魂的医生，的确已害了一点儿很蹊跷的病。这病离开海，不易痊愈的，应当用海来治疗。