Chapter 11 Chapter Four

Luo Zongqi rode on the girder with his feet hanging in the air.The so-called girder is just a piece of wood as thick as an arm.He is building his small kitchen. "After more than ten years, you are still so naive. I advise you not to have too much hope." He aligned the nails and swung the hammer. "No, I also rehabilitated, and I also presided over the work—of course I am much smaller than the others, but I am also the leader of one party. But let me tell you, whether I can turn things around." Boom, boom, boom!He seemed very angry, and seemed to wake me up.I walked all morning, and it was a full forty miles from our regiment to his regiment.The sun was so bright and clear it reminded me of the sea.I'm going to him to learn about the hieroglyphs.He can lead me into a maze.But no sooner had he led me into the first corridor than the sunlight dimmed.

I sipped my tea non-stop.The tea is very strong, I haven't had such tea for a long time.It melts away bloody flesh.A cup of tea can transform me from carnivore to human.Civilization is wonderful!There were still whirring sounds in the house with bamboo curtains.It was Mr. Zhu Shu who was chopping dumpling stuffing for me.Meat and noodles are fine, why do you have to eat meat with bread?I'm not used to all this.And this small courtyard: Although the hollyhocks have not bloomed, they have grown very tall.On a small square of flat land, green seedlings of tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants are planted.The loess is fluffy with a trap, like a carpet.Two gray butterflies are flying aimlessly, and there is a small almond tree against the wall.

This is the life of a normal person!I had a feeling of coming home, even though it was all very foreign to me.I was lying on the canvas chair, drowsy, but still feeling the urge to talk. Luo Zongqi continued: "I am the team leader here, but what kind of person is my partner?... Let me tell you one thing, you know that this old woman used to be the party secretary of Qinqu Farm. Of course, the 'Cultural Revolution' Xiaozi all hugged him in. Her daughter wrote to her in the cowshed: Mom, they won’t let me join the Red Guards. I am an out-and-out 'three-anti' element, and I want my daughter to really—note, not pretend—to sever ties with her, to draw a complete ideological line, not to be 'warmth-minded', and to resolutely revolutionize to the end. As a result, A seventeen-year-old girl became a terrifying thug, who was said to have broken the bones of two old landlords. Think about it, who does a person who doesn't even recognize his mother know? Only such a bewitched Only a mother can educate such a bewitched daughter!

"Okay. She is such an old woman who is now the secretary of my party committee. I said, let the farmers and workers grow their own vegetables. There is a lot of wasteland here. It's good to open up some wasteland in your spare time and adjust your life. The vegetables just sprouted. She sent a tractor to plow them all. I said, an eggplant, a cucumber, and a tomato growing on China's 9.6 million square kilometers of land are socialist wealth, why not let them plant them? She said , Socialist wealth can only be produced in state-owned enterprises, and all personal production is capitalism. She also memorized a large set of quotations, of course I can’t speak against her. From then on, the two of us did not speak when we met. Go east, I go west. Lao Zhang, think about it, a team leader and a party secretary, such a relationship, can the work be done well, even an average between the two is not enough, the strength of both sides All cancel out, and finally equal to zero.

"From this point, I guessed Xiaoping. At least that old woman was not the one who punished me in the past, and Xiaoping rowed a boat with the person who punished him in Zhongnanhai. Think about it, a group of people who are still in shock and a group of hungry wolves Putting it on the same boat, what will happen? Besides, Premier Zhou is still ill. Humph!... In my opinion, this can only be a continuation of the tragedy!" He stopped the hammer in his hand and looked at me condescendingly.Those eyes remind me of pessimistic old sheep.I also smiled sadly. "Oh!" I stretched, "'Whoever realizes the big dream first, I know it all my life'... Hey, Lao Luo, I always feel that this tragedy is too long, and it has been played for more than ten years. I wonder if the audience is How does it feel, I am tired of acting as an actor."

"In China, there are no audiences, only actors!" he said decisively. "Some people play the role of the villain, and the other part of the person who plays the villain. At a certain time, they switch with each other. You are just tired of playing the villain. How about it? You also want to play the villain people?……" Luo Zongqi is tall, with a thin body and a long, thin face. If his piercing eyes were deeper and his straight nose was higher, he would be an English Sherlock Holmes.In 1970, we spent two years in prison together, covered my quilt, and shared my rice bowl, because Cao Xueyi's former company secretary even confiscated a chopstick sent by Mr. Zhu Shu .When I was shivering in the cold under the blanket, I told him that Lin Biao must die a terrible death!He asked me on what grounds.I had no basis for anything, I just thought he looked like a labor prisoner I knew who had been shot.The reform-through-labour prisoner, nicknamed "Four Hundred Watt Light Bulb", is also bald, and the nasolabial folds and chins on both faces are very similar.After laughing happily for a while, I didn't feel so cold anymore.He has a special posture in apologizing every day, instead of bowing his head, he tilts his head, as if he is meditating.It can be heard from his long list of confessions that he endured punishment in Yan'an in 1942, sheltered "rightists" in 1957, and became a "right opportunist" in 1959. ", and in 1966 was finally assigned to the "Liu-Deng Bourgeois Headquarters."But he didn't know where this "headquarters" was located and what battles he had commanded, so he annoyed the "revolutionary committee" that "good! good! good!".Everyone in the prison knew that if he hadn't carried so many historical burdens, he would have already been a department-level cadre.

"I've seen it through," he tricked his legs, climbed down from the roof, and said as he climbed, "now it's best to build a small kitchen for yourself, and build a piece of furniture... Hey, Zhang, I use it myself. The sofa stretched by the tires of the car is still very good, like a spring. You can try it in the house." Although he is in his fifties, his hands and feet are still very flexible. "I haven't gained weight, have I?" He stood proudly on the ground. "People should still stay in prison. Firstly, it is good for the body; secondly, you only know after you are in prison. Comrades are often not people who sit in the same office, but people who have been in prison together."

We lifted the curtains and went inside and sat down on the sofa he made himself.I said, "Lao Luo, I think that our tragedy is not only due to mutual restraint between people, but actually something is wrong with our system." "Yes. But if you want to reform the system, you must first adjust the relationship between people." He poured out tea and said, "If you want me to work with people like the old woman, let alone reform the unreasonable system, even build a public toilet." The resolution won't pass either." "There is also theory," I suddenly burst into a sense of humor, "I think what we are practicing now is not Marxism at all, but Duhringism... Bukharinism, and Tuhringism!" I laughed Said, "The Kuomintang implements the so-called 'Three People's Principles', we are implementing the 'Three Forest Principles'!"

"How do you say that?" He asked me with his mouth open. "You still don't understand? Dühringism is voluntarism and violence; Bukharinism: listen to what Bukharin said. He said that it is easy for the proletariat to mechanically destroy its enemy, the bourgeoisie." Yes. However, the bourgeoisie will turn back and eat the proletariat with its cultural strength several times that of the proletariat. Therefore, the proletariat that has taken power must go through the cultural revolution if it wants to consolidate its power. Lao Luo originally invented the cultural revolution It’s not about our great leader, Bukharin has long registered his patent rights in the international communist movement. As for Tulinism, it’s the simplest, it’s cult of personality.”

"You," he said with a smile, "it's no wonder you've been punished all the time. It's not wrong to label you a counter-revolutionary!" At this time, Zhu Shujun came in with steaming dumplings, "A counter-revolutionary, an old rightist, it's time to serve dinner!" She squinted her eyes and smiled and said, "Old Zhang, you haven't come to our house for more than a year , must eat more." She has a high chest and rolled up her sleeves, revealing her fat arms.Her daughter raised the curtain for her.There was a banquet atmosphere in the simple brick house.I suddenly became excited.It's been a long time since I've had this kind of intelligent conversation with a human being, although I talk to sheep every day.

"There are still theories, and it's extremely confusing now!" Sitting in a simple brick house, holding blackened bamboo chopsticks, eating meat dumplings, it's like sitting at a conference table to preside over a meeting. "Our task now is to truly return to the real Marxism. For example, when that old woman recites "Quotations from Chairman Mao" to you, you can counter her with Lenin's words. Lenin said, trying to completely ban and block The development of all private, non-state-run exchanges, that is, the development of commerce, that is, the development of capitalism, is stupidity and suicide. Lenin did not even prohibit private capitalist commerce, let alone allow agricultural and industrial surpluses to grow. "Oh, that's what Lenin said in the past..." Luo Zongqi muttered. "Yes." I smiled and said, "Aren't we just going around in the leader's past words? You use this leader's past words to deal with me, and I use that leader's past words to deal with it." You. This is what Marx said: The dead catch the living; our current theoretical development is manifested by the lack of theoretical development. If we want to seek development in this suffocating situation, we must be good at picking quotations that are conducive to development. Our cleverness Intelligence cannot be used to create, but only to choose. Such is the tragedy of our theory; its last act is to lead us all into a dead end." Luo Zongqi listened attentively while chewing the dumplings.He tilted his head again as he did when pleading guilty, and said, "Well, what should we do now in your opinion?" "Now? There is nothing to talk about now! We can only do what Lenin said first: in a country whose economy has been destroyed, the first task is to save the laborers." I thought about the peasant workers in the same company as me ——"Dumb", Mrs. Ma, Heizi, He Lifang..."We must enable them to live a human life. Then we can reform our system, and the most important basis for reforming the system is in the second volume of "Das Kapital" On page eighteen..." "Hmph..." Luo Zongqi smiled through his nostrils, "You know how to recite it! Hey, Lao Zhang, have you thought about it?" He said seriously, "You should write down what you have learned and write it into a paper. The form is useless now, but it will definitely be useful in the future..." "How do I write it?" I smiled wryly. "Do I still remember that Zhou Ruicheng? I share a room with him now. It turns out that guy used to be a snitch. And as long as a line of mine falls into their hands, I won't be able to come to your place to eat dumplings." If it doesn’t work out, they’ll still treat me to peanuts that cost thirty-six cents a piece.” "Old Zhang," Zhu Shujun has been standing next to us urging us to eat, and then interjected, "You should also get married. It's much more convenient to have a home..." "That's right!" Luo Zongqi slapped his chopsticks on the table. "You'd better have a home, a house of your own, who knows what you write? Now is the time when it's relatively loose, they will approve..." "Married to write a thesis?" I smiled.His daughter was also secretly laughing beside him. "Even if you don't do anything, you still have to get married!" Zhu Shujun said, "If you have any financial difficulties, we will help you." "There is no difficulty in the economy, but the difficulty is that there is no such person!" In fact, I thought to myself, that person already exists! The clouds first skimmed low over the horizon, and before they knew it, they enveloped the mountains.Over the dark green wheat field, countless black swallows flew back and forth, chirping anxiously and frantically, and the air already contained a damp earthy smell.The neatly brushed wheat is uneasy, waiting for the rain to come. The weather was sunny on the way here, but cloudy on the way back.But I am trembling with excitement and hope in this gloomy weather.There is a bright contrasting polyphony under the melancholy theme. I strode across the fields.After a while, big drops of rain fell down.White smoke rose from the dirt road; the white smoke rolled along the dirt road, as if some monster was chasing after it.The forest belt and the crops suddenly sounded together.The cold raindrops hit my face and flowed down immediately.Only then did I feel my face burn.Yes, I found a cave in a rainstorm.Luo Zongqi's words seemed to brighten the cave.Marriage, the word is unimaginable!This thing is unimaginable!I've imagined it countless times before, but it never occurred to me that I would be able to marry in this unfree status, to a woman who was my status.Imagination is always beautiful.It was under a blue sky, my bride was wearing a white veil...and this bride is her!This is beyond my expectation.So, have I ever wondered what my wife should be like?No!Except for that white gauze dress, I never thought she had a fixed appearance.She always changes with my aesthetic level.Thus free imagination turned me into a real "womanizer".And after the white gauze dress has changed into a black prison uniform, in the dream in the cell, the wife is just a woman; conversely, any woman can be a wife.Because of the loss of freedom, since the ordinary normal life of normal people is impossible for me, why bother to conceive an ordinary happy life?Without hope there can be no disappointment, and the greatest hope is hidden in the absence of all other hopes.In this way, what is lost will be regarded as gain in the feeling; a relatively light punishment can be regarded as a great fluke, but it can make oneself happy in front of the subsequent punishment; the ups and downs are regarded as the richness of life Be colorful, regard hunger and starvation as the tempering before the great mission, and be a modern Don Quixote who regards the ghost as a windmill (rather than the windmill as a devil), so that you can survive. But, married—that is, married to her!I have a home—that is, the room where Zhou Ruicheng and I live, or she and Madam Ma!With a wife—that's her!Then I will be firmly tied to some kind of car; the trivial reality of life, like these big, cold raindrops from the sky, will hit my head firmly, making me feel tired. Become realistic and lose the qualification to comfort and indulge oneself in imagination.I, too, are like these big cold raindrops, planted solidly from the cloud into the ground at once, quickly absorbed by the dry ground, and finally turned into a pinch of mud. However, the naked, soft and vigorous flesh always attracts me, excites me, and excites me.My face was hot and I was hot all over.The cold raindrops hit it, and immediately evaporated a puff of white smoke like falling on a soldering iron. Moreover, a home is a cave, which is a place that people must have in prehistoric times; a home is a nest. It is said that Youchao was honored as the emperor because he invented this place to live and live.For me, home means that I have a few square meters of heaven and earth on a land of 9.6 million square kilometers.Luo Zongqi is right!We need to set aside a few square meters of clean land for ourselves in the messy 9.6 million square kilometers.So I am independent!I am the master of an independent kingdom with several square meters!And let me ponder over the prospects of the other 9.6 million square kilometers in this independent kingdom. Tragedy always ends... When I walked through the gutter, my shoes got sucked in the mud, and I couldn't get them out no matter how I pulled them out.fuck it!Just throw it away!Maybe she'll make me new ones too! ...I thought so.Back to the dormitory with one foot high and one foot low. "Hey! Why don't you hide in the forest?" Zhou Ruicheng raised his head from the piece of paper in front of him.He is writing the appeal again.You write, you write, hum!What a continuation of the tragedy... "Look at you, you're completely drenched." He showed that kind of flattering yet condescending smile again, I seem to be particularly disgusted when I see this kind of smile today.It is extremely uncomfortable to live with such a person. "Damn it! What is this little rain! When we were herding sheep, we encountered heavier rain than this!" "Huh!" After a while, he looked out the window, his smile turned into a sarcastic schadenfreude. "Look, the sun is coming out!" Sure enough, opposite the window, on the back wall of the house in front, a patch of pale yellow sunlight appeared.It turned out that what I met was just a passing rain. "Damn it! The sky is against me!" I muttered under the quilt, "Hey, Lao Zhou, when will our days be over?!" His old, thin face was immediately filled with suspicion.He thought I would say some "counter-revolutionary speech" again, which would cause him trouble: Is it a report?Still not reporting?What should I do if I report my denial? ... "In my opinion, this day will be over only when I get a wife." In order not to make him flustered, I said what I was thinking. I looked at the blackened rafters on the roof: how to clean up this house? ...