Chapter 6 Chapter 06 Watching a beautiful dance, watching a huge ruin

When the time was up, Hu Zhiyan stood up and called the roll call.Just after calling two names, the lights in the classroom suddenly went out.Because of the serious shortage of electricity, power outages are a very common thing. There are at least four days a week when there are full-time power outages, and there are three days, only about one-third of the time.Lighting power consumption is strictly controlled, and all power must be guaranteed for industrial production.All the students were sitting in the dark, and many were speaking in low tones.Wu Limin took the initiative to talk about Yu Aijun.She told Fang Zijin that she received a letter from Yu Aijun again today, and there was only one sentence in the letter: Comrade Wu Limin, I want to fall in love with you, please consider it seriously.Wu Limin said that she was not prepared to agree because it was too unromantic.Fang Zijin said, what kind of romance do you want?Wu Limin said she didn't know.But that's not what she's thinking about.In short, if Yu Aijun doesn't want to come up with a romantic courtship method, she will never agree.Fang Zijin joked with her, if he never figured it out, what would you do?She said that she would never agree.Fang Zijin said that you are not afraid that you will become an old girl?

There was light coming from the door.It was Hu Zhiyan, holding a lantern in his hand.Lanterns are allocated to each class by the school, and there is only one lantern for each class. It uses kerosene and needs a rationed supply.The classrooms are stepped. If you put the lights on the desks in front, the back row will not be lit at all.Hu Zhiyan walked forward with the lantern, obviously wanting to sit with Fang Zijin.But she and Wu Limin sat in the last row, the lights were placed too far back, and there was no light in front of them.Helpless, he had no choice but to stop in the third row from the bottom, put the lantern on the table, and took this opportunity to stare at Fang Zijin with hatred in his eyes.Fang Zijin's heart skipped a beat at this glance, and at the same time, a strong smell of alcohol rushed towards her.

liquor?He drank?Li Shufen married an alcoholic?There is a rule in the student code that drinking alcohol is strictly prohibited.This kind of person can still sit here majestically and accuse this wrong and that wrong, Fang Zijin almost wants to vomit. Hu Zhiyan yelled loudly, please be quiet.In fact, the classroom is already very quiet, except for the occasional sound of a few mice chasing and running, and the sound of everyone panting.Hu Zhiyan cleared his throat and began to speak.He said that tonight's political study is to discuss this month's ideological report.Generally speaking, this month is better than last month, and no one is missed, and all are delivered on time.Some students' ideological reports are well written, which not only reflects the great achievements of our socialist construction, but also reflects the deep roots of Marxism-Leninism and Mao Zedong Thought.However, there are also some individuals who reveal some extremely unhealthy bourgeois thoughts in the ideological report materials.He took out a report material and handed it to a classmate for him to read.The classmate then read it out. Yesterday, he read a certain editorial in the People's Daily and was filled with emotion.In just over two years since the founding of our socialist motherland, we have achieved world-renowned achievements. Our great party leads our great people and is creating a great cause that has never been seen before or since.

After Fang Zijin listened for a long time, all his thoughts were written in the newspaper, and he had no personal thoughts at all.Is this considered a thought report?All are copied from the People's Daily.The next few articles were the same, whether I was listening to related articles from the Central People’s Broadcasting Station, or encountered such a thing as giving up my seat on the bus, or reread the Communist Manifesto for the fifteenth time today.I don't know if it's because Hu Zhiyan's level is too low, or he likes such clichés and lies, but he highly praised these thought report materials.

Then, he stood up, walked to Fang Zijin's side, and raised the lantern in front of her.He put a document on her desk and said to her, Fang Zijin, please read this.While speaking, a strong smell of alcohol came to her nostrils, and she almost wanted to cover her nose. After Hu Zhiyan left, she resisted the urge to wave away the smell, picked up the few pieces of paper, and looked at them carefully, it turned out to be a thought report written by herself.Strictly speaking, this thought report of hers is also not considered a thought report, but an essay titled The Solitude of the Soul.After receiving Bai Changshan's letter for the first time, she had a particularly strong sense of sympathy for the loneliness of the soul. Later, she read his letter several times, and each time she had some new ideas, so she wrote this article.She said in the article that a person's soul is always lonely, loneliness is a constant state, and loneliness is a kind of strength.The more knowledgeable people are, the more lonely they are.Solitude is the soul of the thinker.

She finished reading the article.Hu Zhiyan immediately said, let's discuss it brightly. If you have any opinions, please open your mind and talk about it. Don't hide your stuttering, and don't be afraid that your stuttering will be wrong.Which Diao Mao said first? As soon as his words came out, Fang Zijin was secretly startled.His tone was obviously different from the previous few times.After the first few people read the thought report, he would set a tone first, but this time, he let others talk about it, and he didn't express any attitude.what is this? Some students stood up and spoke at the first moment, saying that there was a big problem with this idea.We are all communist fighters, sons and daughters of the party.The party is our backbone and our guiding light.As long as we have a party in our hearts, where will we be lonely?The students who wrote this thought report are typical of being alienated from the party and lacking love for the party.The second classmate was even more impassioned. He said what kind of feeling is loneliness?It is a bourgeois feeling.Proletarian revolutionary fighters have the great ambition to liberate all mankind in their hearts. Only by liberating all mankind can they finally liberate themselves.How can a person with great ambition be lonely?Only those young men and women of the bourgeoisie, they rely on exploitation and oppression to obtain the means of living, they have no worries about food and clothing, and they have no ambitions.They are lonely because they are empty, lonely because they are bored, lonely because they have no great proletarian aspirations.

Fang Zijin suddenly discovered that these classmates who usually seemed gentle and elegant were all fighters, but now they were really high-spirited and high-spirited.They were all agitated and spitting, as if eager to express some attitude.Fang Zijin felt that if they knew that they wrote this thing, they might pounce on her and tear her to pieces bit by bit with their sharp teeth.She was suddenly bewildered and terrified, wondering whether the feeling of loneliness really belonged to the bourgeoisie and not to the proletariat.If there is no, then why does Baichang Mountain exist?Isn't he a proletarian?If the proletariat may also have such emotions, then why do these people in front of them seem to have seen a scourge?

In the end, Hu Zhiyan concluded that this matter is very serious, and it is an extremely wrong idea. It needs a big discussion and criticism in the whole class to clarify a certain understanding.We should help our class sisters with the purpose of learning from past mistakes and avoiding future ones to save the sick and the sick.It's very late today, and that's all for political study.Starting tomorrow, the class will have a big discussion on this ideological report.The topic of discussion is the class nature of loneliness.This is a big question of right and wrong, a question of revolution and counter-revolution, a question of life and death between the proletariat and the bourgeoisie.He said that he just wanted to let all the students figure out what loneliness is, whether it belongs to the bourgeoisie or the proletariat.He especially emphasized that this discussion is not about people, it is only about discussing problems and criticizing ideas, and does not involve specific individuals.

When he heard this, Fang Zijin's body burst into cold sweat.Right thing or wrong person?To put it nicely, discussing issues and criticizing ideas, can it not be aimed at individuals?The problem does not exist in the human body?Thoughts are not produced by people?She had a premonition that what happened to her parents was about to happen to herself.What happens to parents is not in policy but in some people's hearts.Her mother was too beautiful, Fang Erguaizi, who can't talk about those people dreamed of it but couldn't get it, so they killed her father in such a way, just to insult her mother.Now, she has a sudden premonition in her heart, someone wants to get her, and if the normal way can't achieve the goal, they have to follow the abnormal way.

If Fang Zijin was not afraid of life and death a few months ago, it is different now, she has concerns in her heart, and she cannot just die like this.Regardless, she had to fight.After a night of thinking, she decided to talk to Hu Zhiyan directly. If he had the conditions, as long as it was within the range she could accept, she was ready to make the greatest compromise. Early the next morning, Fang Zijin came to Hu Zhiyan's house. Recently, Hu Zhiyan no longer participated in the morning exercises in the class. He said that the work of the school's human security department was too busy.But the students said that a deputy section chief of the Human Security Section had been transferred away, and he was stepping up his activities to compete for this position.It is reported that he is in a weak position in this personnel appointment and dismissal. The key lies in the incident between him and Fang Zijin. Such people are leaders.However, many old leaders of Hu Zhiyan hold real power in the local area, and their sphere of influence permeates every aspect of this school.Those people came forward to speak for him, but his competitors had no backstage support.Comparing the two, it is really hard to say who will win in the end.Hu Zhiyan had to spend time to get rid of these relationships. Except for the political study at night, he handed over all other activities in the class to Li Shufen.

When we arrived at the door of Hu Zhiyan's house, it was still dark, and the sky was covered with stars that had been shining all night.The air washed by the dew is very fresh, the early sparrows are singing among the branches, and the mice are coming and going in front of the door, like children in the festival.After waiting for more than half an hour, the lights of Hu Zhiyan's house finally turned on.After waiting for a while, she took a few steps forward and shouted in front of the door: "Student Hu Zhiyan!"Are you up?Student Hu Zhiyan? The door opened, and it was Li Shufen who walked out.She is wearing a floral sleeveless underwear and a pair of large floral pants. There are only three buttons left in the underwear. Her chest is almost half open. A pair of not-so-full breasts loom like two crescent moons. on the chest.Seeing Fang Zijin, her brows frowned immediately, her face was full of vigilance.That appearance reminded Fang Zijin of a hen that was in its hatching period.A hen at this time is usually very peaceful, with the exception of one time when she realizes that her chicks may be in danger.At this time, the hen's whole body's feathers will stand on end one by one, her neck will be straightened, and her head will be held high, ready to pounce on the attacking object at any time. "Do you have anything to do with Lao Hu?" she asked. "It's about studying politics at night. I want to talk to classmate Hu Zhiyan," she said. Li Shufen obviously didn't believe her words, and stood upright to block the door.Hu Zhiyan appeared behind her, grabbed her arm and pulled her back, pulled her aside, and said to Fang Zijin outside, it's you, come in and tell.He was wearing a military sweatshirt on his upper body, a pair of military shorts on his lower body, and a pair of wooden slippers on his bare feet. His bare legs were covered with thick and black body hair, which looked like two black forests.After saying this, he stepped aside and opened the door, waiting for Fang Zijin to enter.Fang Zijin hesitated for a moment, raised his legs and stepped in.Standing there, Li Shufen still had the expression of being ready to pounce on Fang Zijin at any time, with two strong fires bursting out from her eyes. Hu Zhiyan said to Li Shufen, greet the guests, and I'll wash them.He turned and entered the house, and soon there was the sound of a porcelain crock and a toothbrush colliding in the kitchen at the back, and then the sound of running water from a faucet.Li Shufen said to her coldly, sit down, it is rare for you to come to our house, and I will pour tea for you.Fang Zijin said, no, I'm not thirsty.Li Shufen was not reconciled, and asked again, what is your business with our old Hu?Fang Zijin said that I wrote the article about loneliness.Li Shufen snorted, as if she was thinking about this matter, and also seemed to be thinking about the wording.The sound of toothbrushes swiping in the enamel jar came from the kitchen, and Li Shufen probably realized that Hu Zhiyan was coming out soon, so she quickly said to Zijin, "Then you guys have a good talk, I'm going to give a fuck, I'm going to be late."With that said, she went back into the room to change clothes. Fang Zijin sat in the living room by himself, looking at the living room boredly.This is a set of bungalows, each separated from the middle, the first half is the living room, and the second half is the bedroom.At the back of the room, a small kitchen was set up.There is a small square table in the living room. There are some leftovers and a pile of bowls on the table. There are a few wooden stools next to it. In a basket in the corner, some dirty clothes are thrown randomly.If it weren't for the bright red happy words on the windows and doors, it wouldn't look like a home. Li Shufen came out of the bedroom and said loudly to her, "You have something to talk to Lao Hu slowly, and I'm going to fuck."Fang Zijin stood up and was about to answer, Li Shufen stepped in front of her, and said to her in a low voice, "Be careful, if you do something tricky, I will shoot you dead."The smile on Fang Zijin's face suddenly froze. He wanted to explain something, but felt that saying anything was superfluous, so he just stood there without saying a word.Li Shufen said loudly again, I'm leaving, I often come to play at home. Fang Zijin really wanted to leave this disgusting place with her, but since she came, she would not be reconciled if she didn't say something.After a while, Hu Zhiyan came out and saw her standing in the living room, so he said, sit down, sit down quickly, what's the matter with you standing so brightly all the time?sit down.Fang Zijin sat down. Hu Zhiyan moved a chair and sat down in front of her, with his legs widely spread to both sides.He didn't change his clothes, he was still in the same underwear.Military underpants are very loose, probably for the convenience of running and participating in military operations.Fang Zijin didn't look at him at all, his eyes shot through his shoulders to the white gray wall behind him, where a spider was weaving a web, busy up and down.Hu Zhiyan took a cigarette from the table, lit one, and said to her, "It's so rare that you will come to my house. I'm so happy." She didn't want to chatter with him, so she asked him directly: "I want to ask you, what do you want me to do before you let me go?" Hu Zhiyan took a deep puff of the cigarette, put on a hypocritical appearance, and exaggeratedly said: "What are you stuttering? Saying this shows that you don't understand me at all, and I don't understand us. Stuttering revolutionaries." "Don't tell me these big things. I just want to hear your truth," she said. "What kind of stuttering is this?" Hu Zhiyan seemed a little excited, stood up, walked a few steps in the room, and then began to explain the truth to her.All the Marxist-Leninist theories are mixed in the words related to genitals, which gives people the feeling that this is the language art of people like Hu Zhiyan, and it is a complementary combination.He said, others don't know his heart, so don't you, Fang Zijin?Will he harm her?of course not.Everything he did was to help her transform her, to make her a great proletarian revolutionary fighter, a pure Marxist-Leninist without any impurities, and a standard-bearer of Mao Zedong Thought.The revolutionaries of the first and second generations shed their blood, and what they conquered will be passed on to the third and fourth generations of revolutionaries. Therefore, the issue of cultivating revolutionary successors is the primary issue of the revolution.As a party member and cadre and a staunch proletarian revolutionist, he has the responsibility and obligation to help his comrades. Fang Zijin was very disappointed to see that he was full of revolutionary principles, but refused to touch on the essence. He stood up and said that in this case, it was only as if she hadn't come.Having said that, lift your legs and walk out.Hu Zhiyan told her not to leave, but seeing that she didn't stop, he became a little anxious, took a few steps, stretched out his hand, and grabbed her hand.Mixed with a lot of swear words, why are you stuttering?It's rare for him to come here once, so why don't we just sit there stuttering for a while, and let's have a good chat when he's bright?Fang Zijin shrank his hand and wanted to take his hand out, but he pulled it into his arms hard, Fang Zijin was caught off guard and fell into his arms all at once.Hu Zhiyan hugged her tightly, and put a mouth full of cigarette smell close to her mouth.Fang Zijin quickly resisted, while questioning him, you are married, it is a serious mistake for you to do so. Hu Zhiyan has lost his mind.He begged her to obey him, saying that as long as she agreed, he would divorce Li Shufen immediately.Because he doesn't love Li Shufen at all, it's a tragedy, it's the organization's order, and he has no way to change the organization's decision.He said that he hadn't touched Li Shufen for several months after their marriage.Later, she got him drunk once, and she did that to him when he completely lost his mind.He said that in his heart, Fang Zijin was a fairy in the sky.He doesn't offend her, he just wants her to listen to him, to let her know what's on his mind. Fang Zijin wanted to break free from him, but his strength was too great, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get out of his embrace.She knew that if she couldn't get rid of it as soon as possible, she would be in trouble today.In desperation, she had no choice but to retreat, changed her attitude, and said to him: "Okay, I believe you."However, you can't.It's morning, and the teachers in the college are all getting up, and it will be troublesome if they are seen. Hu Zhiyan was also worried that it would cause trouble and wanted to let her go.But the hands were loosened, and the strength was further increased.He said, you wouldn't lie to me, would you run away as soon as I let go? She smiled brightly at him and said how could he?I promise to sit still and listen to you quietly. He let her go, though he didn't quite trust her. Out of his arms, Fang Zijin quickly ran to the door and grabbed the door with one hand.Hu Zhiyan wanted to go forward to grab her, but she pointed at him and shouted, if you take another step forward, I will call someone loudly.Hu Zhiyan also knew that once Fang Zijin yelled, he would be a complete hooligan, and he would inevitably be punished with a serious demerit within the party, or even worse, he might be expelled from the party and placed on probation.It is even possible to be punished by law.He had no choice but to say good things to her, saying that he would not take a step forward, and promised to stand by and listen to her.Fang Zijin was unwilling to leave like this.Leaning against the door frame, she asked him, "I just want to ask you something. If I don't promise you, you won't let me go, will you?" "Why are you stuttering? Why don't I let you go? I stutter, don't you like it..." Fang Zijin didn't want to continue talking with him at all, interrupted him, and said to him seriously: "I know, if this is the case, then I have only one way to go, and go to Principal Zhou to clarify this matter. " "Looking for Principal Zhou? Why are you stuttering to Principal Zhou?" Fang Zijin saw a flash of panic in his eyes. "You don't know what I asked Principal Zhou to do? What did you do just now? You won't forget it so soon." She thought, she must be tough when dealing with this kind of scoundrel. scare him. "What the hell did I do?" Hu Zhiyan suddenly showed a rascal face, stepped back a few steps, sat down on the chair, and said to her that you can say it if you want, you think you will say it if you say it Will you believe it?You don't even think about it, who am I and who are you?You are the landlord's daughter, and you are the target of our party's transformation.what am iThree generations of poor peasants, joined the party at the age of 21, a fighting hero.Tell me, does the organization trust you or me?Are you going to find Principal Zhou?OK, you go.What did you say to Principal Zhou?Won't?Okay, I'll be a good person to the end, and I'll teach you.You told him that you openly propagated the bourgeois theory of loneliness among your classmates in an attempt to corrupt our revolutionary classmates and subvert our proletarian regime.I saw through your plot at a glance.You were terrified, and worried that the bourgeoisie's wolfish ambitions would be exposed, so you came to me, trying to trick me into being your bourgeois accomplice.Unfortunately, I am a staunch proletarian revolutionary, and I was not fooled by your bourgeois lady.How are you?That's a good way to say it, right? "You, you are despicable and shameless." Fang Zijin was trembling all over in anger. Hu Zhiyan sneered a few times, pointed at her and said, don't think that everything will be fine if she is Lu Mingquan's future daughter-in-law.Let me tell you, if Lu Mingquan knows that you are selling bourgeois loneliness in school, no one can save you.He, Lu Mingquan, is also a member of the Communist Party and a staunch revolutionary. Go back and think about it. Tears welled up in Fang Zijin's eyes.She didn't want him to see her crying, so she turned around, opened the door and fled. Political study was postponed that night.The reason for the delay was that Yu Shanyao and other department leaders and some leaders of the college held different views on the political study every night.They believe that although political study is necessary, the teacher class is different from other classes. Their academic system is half shorter than the normal situation. Teachers have a heavy responsibility.Some people moved out of the Marxist-Leninist theory and some leadership theories that emphasized the importance of political learning.In Marxist-Leninist theory, there is a specific analysis of specific situations.The schooling period of the teacher class is only a short two and a half years, depending on the specific situation, if the school hours are not met, the original courses cannot be completed at all.The only way now is to use the evening time to attend classes.In this debate, Zhou Xinruo supported Yu Shanyao and others at critical moments.As a result, political study was changed from once a night to once a week, and at other times, two basic classes were arranged every night. Political study was postponed, but Fang Zijin's crisis was not resolved.On the contrary, some people are more fully prepared because of sufficient preparation time.Wu Limin is a well-informed person in the class. News from the class, the department, the college, and even the society can always be spread through her mouth, and the accuracy rate is very high.She told Fang Zijin that Hu Zhiyan had already won the competition for the head of the Human Security Section, and now he was just waiting for the academy's appointment.The People's Insurance Division controls the fate of many people, so after the students in the class knew about this, they all scrambled to curry favor with him.Around him, there is already a group of buddies.Once, he drank with this group of buddies, and when he got drunk, he became unrestrained.He said that no matter what method he used, he would get Fang Zijin.Don't you want me to take care of you?Well, now is the time for you to act.Wu Limin said, Zijin, hurry up and think of a way.Let him go on like this, and he'll kill you. The reason why people are afraid is because they know that some kind of bad luck is coming to them, but they can't predict how much damage this bad luck will do to them.Fang Zijin was tormented by this unknown future, restless.Wu Limin's words are correct, we should think of a way.However, is there any way to think about it?She knew that she could tell Lu Qiusheng about these things, and he would definitely have a way to deal with them.He told her many times in the letter that Ningchang is his hometown, and he has all kinds of friends in Ningchang. No matter what difficulties he has, his friends can help solve them.However, she already owed Lu Qiusheng enough, and she didn't want to owe him any more.She worries that the debt is too high for her to pay.Can I talk to Teacher Yu?Teacher Yu is her idol and her spiritual pillar. Consciously or unconsciously, she imitates Yu Shanyao and learns from Yu Shanyao in every word and action. Yu Shanyao is like a shadow, playing a subtle role in her. After the evening class ended, she left the classroom and walked directly to Yu Shanyao's home.On a summer night, the sky is full of stars.The blue sky is like a girl who has just taken a bath, and the stars are water droplets dotted on the creamy skin, crystal clear and beautiful.The cool wind blows gently, like Chang'e swinging the sleeves of the shirt, and there is a dreamlike blur in the lightness.During the day, the trees displaying their desire wildly are half-curled shyly and half-naked under the night.Fang Zijin thought of Baichang Mountain in the distance. At this moment, he was driving a car and galloping on the line of fire.If one day, I walked with him in this charming summer night, sitting quietly on the lawn, watching the intoxicating warmth, it would be really picturesque. Yu Shanyao's home was approaching, she forced herself to withdraw her thoughts.In front, there is a man walking in the night like a cat.On such a hot summer night, he actually wore a hat with the brim pulled down, covering half of his face.Fang Zijin's heart skipped a beat, who would walk like this?Sneaky, not like a good guy.The concept of enemy agents accumulated in countless political studies played a role. Fang Zijin suddenly realized that the shadow in front of him might be a US-Chiang spy who was trying to sabotage it?She moved quickly, concealing herself as much as possible, and at the same time following the man carefully, following closely behind.She really hopes to meet an acquaintance or something, but this area is the most secluded place in the whole school, where all the professors live, even in the daytime, it is difficult to see people walking around, except for running around in the wild The running mice and the noisy weavers, I really don't know what else is alive. The figure in front unexpectedly came to Teacher Yu Shanyao's door. He skillfully opened the wooden gate and tiptoed in.Thief?The word suddenly popped up in Fang Zijin's mind, and Fang Zijin's heart suddenly rose to his throat.She quickened her pace, hurried over, dodged and hid by the wall, and looked forward.The wall was not high, and she stood on tiptoe a little, just enough to stick her head out of the wall.The figure came to Teacher Yu's door and reached out to knock on the door.He knocked regularly, with a certain musical rhythm, Beethoven's.At that moment, Fang Zijin suddenly realized that this person was neither a US-Chiang spy nor a thief. The door opened in response to the sound, and a beam of dim light shot out. Teacher Yu's half silhouette appeared beside the door, and the man walked in.His back was facing Fang Zijin, she couldn't see his front clearly, but she already recognized his back.In her heart, she silently hoped that Principal Zhou would only come to Teacher Yu because of some work-related matters, and at the same time, her rationality told her that the matter was by no means that simple.She said to herself again and again, Fang Zijin, there is nothing wrong with you here, why don't you go back soon?However, emotions pulled her tightly again, making her unable to move, stubbornly waiting for a result. It turned out that it had already appeared without waiting, and the lights on the second floor went out.That dim light was like a very bright eye suddenly closed.Fang Zijin's heart fell into unprecedented darkness at that moment.Behind the darkness lies deep despair and the constant crash of a monument toppled. When I returned to the dormitory, I was surprised that the lights were still on.Being a clean freak, she didn't take a shower for the first time, climbed onto the bed, took out a pen and paper and began to write a letter to Bai Changshan. elder brother: Recently, I have encountered a lot of upset things, and my mood is really bad.But I can't tell others about these things, I can only write to you on this quiet summer night. The girl knows that you need to concentrate all your energy on the front to deal with the enemy's bombing, and you shouldn't let these annoying things disturb you.Therefore, the girl has been trying to restrain herself from mentioning these things to you.But today, the girl couldn't bear it anymore. Brother, it’s fine if you hear it, don’t take it to heart.The girl just wanted to talk to someone, nothing else.Don't let your sister's troubles affect your emotions, let alone distract you.Brother, you must agree to the girl, otherwise, the girl will not tell you about this matter. The light flickered and went out.Fang Zijin lay down, took out the flashlight from under the pillow, and covered his head with a sheet, trying to prevent the light from leaking out and affecting others.She turned on the flashlight and continued writing.The room was hot enough, and she covered herself with a sheet, so the heat couldn't be released, and the sweat rolled down her cheeks, but she didn't even notice it.For a moment, she thought about telling Bai Changshan what happened tonight, but she forcibly suppressed the idea as soon as it came up.This matter cannot be told to anyone, it is an eternal secret in her heart, and it is a ruin in her heart that must never be shown to others. She was talking to him about Hu Zhiyan, about her two dates with him in Zhongshan Park, about his revenge on her, and about the love rumors he spread.Naturally, he also talked about the revenge against her that was brewing. A week was spent in uneasiness, and the day of political study finally arrived. In the classroom, the dim light of the lantern shone on Hu Zhiyan's proud and sullen face.He seemed to deliberately ignore Fang Zijin, and was not in a hurry to announce the opening of the meeting. He just sat there quietly, smoking one puff after another, exhaling a string of large and round smoke rings from time to time.After the bell rang for more than ten minutes, Hu Zhiyan still did not announce the opening of the meeting. Some students began to ask him why he did not start.He said, what's the rush?Today's political study is very important, the school attaches great importance to it, and counselors also have to participate.Wait a little longer. As soon as he finished speaking, the counselor walked in.He looked at Hu Zhiyan, and the two exchanged a look.The counselor went directly to the podium and said to everyone, before the political study begins, I will announce one thing.As the school adjusted the work of Comrade Hu Zhiyan, he was about to be appointed as the deputy chief of the Human Security Section of the Organization Department. Considering that the burden on Comrade Hu Zhiyan had increased, the department decided after research that Comrade Hu Zhiyan would no longer be the monitor and Li Shufen would take over. .Hearing this appointment, Fang Zijin suddenly understood why the counselor supported Hu Zhiyan so much and hit him. It turned out that Hu Zhiyan's identity was too special.In this class, he is a student and his status is lower than the counselor, but in the school, he is the school-level leader, and holds the power of personnel, so the counselor is naturally his subordinate. After announcing the appointment, the counselor went on to say that today's political study is very good and very necessary.Hu Zhiyan and I went to report to the political department of the college. Director Gu of the political department of the college spoke highly of this discussion.Originally, Director Gu wanted to come to participate in tonight's big discussion in person, but he couldn't come because of a temporary emergency.He has entrusted me with wishing success to our great discussion on his behalf.He also specifically explained that using this big discussion in our class as a pilot, we will first work out the achievements and experience, and when the next semester starts, there will be a lonely upsurge of class discussion and criticism in the whole school. To talk deeply and thoroughly, we must thoroughly eliminate the confused understanding and bourgeois thinking among the students.That's all I said, which student will speak first? The counselor's words made Fang Zijin's heart skip a beat.Not just a big discussion, but also a big criticism?Doesn't the nature change when it rises to the level of great criticism?Is it just a contradiction between the enemy and ourselves?At this moment, Hu Zhiyan turned his head and glanced at her. This glance was meaningful, with some kind of unfathomable cunning, some kind of victor's excitement, and some kind of unfathomable resentment.This look gave Fang Zijin a nightmare for the whole night. The clearest picture in the nightmare is that the mother was criticized by Fang Erguaizi and others.In the dream, he smiled lewdly and commanded a group of people to take off his mother's clothes, exposing her beautiful carcass in the dazzling sunlight.It can't be said that he is holding a piebald snake tightly in his hand, the snake's head is raised high, and a faint blue light is shot out of a pair of round black eyes.The dream soon changed, the one who was stripped naked in front of tens of thousands of people was no longer his mother but Fang Zijin himself, and the person who caught the poisonous snake was no longer Hu Zhiyan but Hu Zhiyan.Hu Zhiyan gritted his teeth and said to her, I'll give you one last chance, are you fucking with me?Fang Zijin spat at him sharply, and said, Bah, even if I die, I can't let you, a bastard, get away with it.Hu Zhiyan smiled lewdly, raised the piebald snake in his hand, and stuffed it into the base of her thigh.She struggled violently, freeing herself from the dirty hands that held her.She jumped forward with all her strength, and her body soared into the air quickly, soaring into the blue sky.The sky was blue and blue, and white clouds danced around her.Her body fell surrounded by dancing white clouds... Fang Zijin woke up with a start, and there was a pool of cold sweat on the mat under her. It happened to be the end of the semester, and Fang Zijin received a reply letter from Bai Changshan. Bai Changshan said in the letter that after reading the letter, he was so angry that he trembled all over his body. He wished he could pick up his gun and rush to Ningchang immediately to kill the villain with one shot.These soldiers fought bloody battles on the front line, regardless of life and death, for what?It is for class sisters like her to no longer be bullied by anyone, and for all the people of the motherland to live a happy life.However, as an elder brother, as a soldier with backbone and blood, he can't even protect his own sister, what kind of revolutionary soldier is he?What face does he have to wear this military uniform, and what qualifications does he have to hold the sacred gun handle entrusted to him by the party and the people?He told her in the letter that he hoped she would tell him the name of that guy, and that he would write a letter to that guy, telling the scum of the party and the people that if they continue to be obsessed with obsession, commit crimes, become enemies of the people, and act against class sisters Enemy, he will act justly and impose class judgment on him. 读着白长山的信，方子衿被一股巨大的幸福感激荡着，热泪夺眶而出。在她的眼里，这几张白纸上的每一个黑色的字，都被浓得化解不开的特殊情感占满。她已经分辨不出这到底是爱情还是亲情。自从父母离开她之后，她再也没有享受过情感的温馨，那种久违的记忆，就像是春天的桃江，奔流着一江的姹紫嫣红。同时，她的心又被那些文字一次又一次揪紧。她非常担心白长山会拖着枪跑回来。她害怕他所说的“实行阶级审判”成为现实。一个学期的政治学习，至少让她明白了一些东西，他如果私自逃跑就是逃兵，那是死罪。他如果不经审判而枪毙胡之彦，那就是凶杀，同样是死罪。 她饱含着泪水给他回信。她在信中对他撒谎说，不要为她的事操心，更不要为此而分心。这件事已经顺利地解决了。她说，系主任就是和她一起被掳去的那个老师，她知道此事后，严厉批评了那个男同学，并且表示，他如果再继续下去，将对他进行党纪国法的处分。她说，是她自己不冷静，将这件事告诉他让他受了影响。她在信中说，从明天开始，暑假来临了，她将和主任一起去医院实习。 最后，她说，哥，祝福我吧，我很快就会成为一名最棒最棒的医生。 余珊瑶仔细地洗着自己的双手。她的双手非常美，牛奶一样洁白细腻，青葱一样纤巧，冰凌一样晶莹修长。洗手是医生最常做的一件事，以前跟着余珊瑶学医的时候，方子衿最喜欢看她洗手，或者说最喜欢看她这双手，那简直就是看一场美的舞蹈。可现在，她的看法全都变了，再看她的时候，就是在看一片巨大的废墟，有着触目惊心的苍凉。 “子衿，我们一起走吧。”余珊瑶对她说。 “我和丽敏约好了。她最近几天情绪不好，可能有什么事，我想找她谈谈。”她说的是真话。吴丽敏和她在一起实习，可最近一段时间来，整个人像是霜打了一般，蔫蔫的，提不起精神。她知道，肯定发生了什么事。方子衿一直都期望她主动告诉自己，她正是那种心里藏不住事的女孩。可几天过去了，她的神情沮丧与日俱增，却并没有在她面前流露出半句话。当然，她的话也有假，在余珊瑶没有约她之前，她并没有打算和吴丽敏谈话，她并不觉得现在是最好时机。 余珊瑶认真地看了她一眼，犹豫了片刻，说道，你虽然是我的学生，可我的心里，一直把你当成我的妹妹。 方子衿突然觉得，余老师这句话里，有着太复杂的内容，既有着浓郁的情感，也有着深深的哀怨。她不能不为其所动，她甚至感到一种不可抗拒的力量。完全是身不由己，她跟着余珊瑶，到了她家里。余珊瑶给了她一只苹果，她接过来，双手握着，却没有吃。余珊瑶又给她倒了一杯牛奶，说最近你的脸色一直不大好，一定是学生生活太艰苦了。Come on, drink this.她将苹果放在左手，用右手接了牛奶，同样没喝。余珊瑶站在她面前，说，喝下去，我命令你喝下去。她懒得争辩，一口喝了下去。 余珊瑶在她身边坐下来，对她说，我觉得你对我的态度完全变了。告诉我，这是为什么？她不语，将手中的苹果当着球玩。余珊瑶说，叫你来没别的意思，就是聊聊天，解解闷儿。你看我现在一个人住这样高级的别墅里，当着系主任，一定觉得很风光吧。其实，你哪里知道我心里有多苦？方子衿暗想，你心里苦？你和校长都不知多痛快呢，还苦？如果你觉得苦，就不应该做那样的事。她什么都没说，只是嘴角闪过一丝嘲弄。余珊瑶看出了她的心事，进一步说，我知道你心中是孤独的，其实，我也好孤独好孤独。 孤独这个词令方子衿吓了一大跳。这个词给自己惹下了够大的麻烦，而且麻烦还远没有结束呀。她也孤独？is it possible?她现在可是医学专家、系主任，还是校长的情妇，一身兼数职呀，孤独？岂不是笑话？ 余珊瑶不理会她的沉默，自顾自地说，她的父母很早就随孙中山先生加入了同盟会。可是，国民革命并不顺利，她的父母也一直都在国外漂泊。她出生在国外，生长在国外，对国内的情况，并不十分了解。直到抗战开始前不久，她才跟着父母回到了宁昌。可在宁昌住了一年多，鬼子眼看就要打过来了。她的父母知道宁昌保不住，急急忙忙又把她送到了美国。时隔不久，她的父母到达重庆后又被派到川西北少数民族地区工作，结果却被当地土司杀害了。她的两个哥哥，一个死在抗日的战场上，一个死在平津战役的天津之战。两个姐姐则跟着她们的丈夫去了香港。按照余珊瑶的条件，她是可以跟着国民党去台湾或者去美国的。可她对国民党彻底失望了，对美国支持国民党打内战也非常反感，因此留了下来。当然，她留下来，还有感情的原因。在美国读书的时候，她爱上了一个中国留学生，此人是国民党的一位高官之子。她从美国回国，就是回来找自己的情人的。谁曾料想，此人在国内不仅早已经有了妻子，还有一房姨太太。他如果将她安置在身边，既无法向自己的夫人交代，也无法向国民政府交代，因此悄悄地将她安排在恒兴。后来，国民党从重庆退走的时候，他悄悄地走了，连话都没有给她留下一句。 方子衿抬眼看了看她，对她大不以为然。如果说她在美国的恋爱经历是受骗的话，可眼下算什么？她明明知道周昕若是有老婆的，还要一头扎进去。 余珊瑶似乎看穿了她的心事，问道，你是不是知道了我和昕若的事？She nodded.余珊瑶沉默了好一段时间，然后说，因为这件事，你才看不起我，是吗？方子衿不语。她不是看不起，而是心中一片废墟。她无法将这种感觉告诉她，这种感觉让她有了一种彻底的毁灭感。余珊瑶说，唉，这件事，我真不知道该说什么了。我们是真心相爱的。我们都不知道这场恋爱的结果是什么，可我们控制不了自己。我说这些你可能无法理解，其实，我自己也理解不了。 方子衿不想继续这个话题，甚至不想继续在这里坐下去。一种特别的苦味，从她身体的某些角落汩汩地流出来，渐渐集中在胃里，苦味越来越重。她知道，如果自己仍然留在这里，会当着她的面哭出声来的。她将那只苹果放在桌子上，站起来说道：我走了。不等余珊瑶反应，她是逃一般地急急跨出门去。 离开余珊瑶家，时间还早。方子衿不想回到宿舍去。放假了，宿舍里只有她一个人，甚至整幢女生宿舍，都难以见到一两个人。平常回到那里只是睡觉，不会胡思乱想。今天心情极度糟糕，如果回去，她想她会疯掉。离宿舍不远有一片竹林，学院一些男女恋爱，喜欢往那里去。平常的日子，方子衿几乎没有机会去那里，今天想着那里不会有别人，就踱了过去。 令她没有料到的是，刚刚接近竹林，就听到林子里传来一阵痛心的哭声。哭声像长着一只黄色绒毛拖着长长尾巴的猫，在青竹间飘绕着。又像是中国古代神怪小说中的狐狸，在黑暗中展露着红色绿色绯色花色的毛皮，眨动着三角的闪着幽幽蓝光的眼睛，神出鬼没在被夜幕掩盖的竹叶之中。方子衿猛地惊了一下，本能地觉得这是一个如泣如诉的阴魂，她的脑中甚至冒出披头散发为情而死的屈死女鬼的形象。在这个放了假的校园里，在这片密密匝匝的竹林里，除了女鬼，还会有谁？方子衿转身就逃，可她走出竹林后，突然产生了一种极其奇特的想法，她想，如果对方真是女鬼的话，那么，她或许可以见到自己的父亲母亲吧。在这个世界，她已经没有朋友，交个女鬼朋友也很不错呀，至少可以让这个女鬼当她和父母之间的邮递员，传递她的孤独她的思念她的苦闷和烦恼。 方子衿突然升起一股豪气。她无所顾忌地向哭声走过去。越走越近，那哭声也越来越确定，不再飘忽。她终于看到了那个影子，准确地说是一个人，一个年轻的女人。她抱着一棵竹子，像是抱着某个人，那么紧，那么忘情。幽幽的月光透过竹叶的缝隙投在她的身上，斑斑驳驳地将她的身影涂写成梦幻。年轻女人蓄着一条半长马尾辫，穿着一袭白色衣裙。这个背影让方子衿心中一动。 她走上前去，轻轻叫了一声，年轻女人转过脸来。她圆圆的脸上，晶莹的泪珠在月色下闪着幽蓝的光。方子衿吃惊地叫唤了一声，像是被人使了定身法似的站在那里，好一刻再没有任何表示。吴丽敏最初似乎没有完全看清来人的面目，愣了好几秒钟，终于知道竹影后是方子衿时，她不由自主向前走了两步。方子衿同时跨步向前，伸出双手，将她搂在怀里。 吴丽敏在方子衿的怀里大哭。方子衿的鼻子酸酸的，很想和她一起痛哭一场。在她的内心深处，有一个声音高叫着：不，你不能哭，你应该挺直腰杆顶住一切。那一瞬间，她突然理解了在土匪窝里余珊瑶所表现出的坚强。因为她的身边有一个人需要支撑，她除了坚强地站稳自己，别无选择。此时的方子衿同样如此，她不仅要支撑自己，更要支撑吴丽敏。 在她的怀里，吴丽敏哭诉着一切。原来，她已经快两个月没有收到喻爱军的信了，她认定他一定是出了大事，否则，他绝对不会拖这么长时间不给她写信的。在此之前，他和她一样，几乎是刚刚发出一封信，又迫不及待地写第二封信，所以，他的两封信之间，从来都不曾超过一个星期。 方子衿安慰她说，你不要胡思乱想了。他毕竟在朝鲜前线作战，比如深入敌方搞侦察，行动之前，往往需要封闭一段时间，执行任务又要一段时间，再加上信在路上所走的时间。我算过了，一封信从发出到收到，需要二十多天呢。吴丽敏说，她有一种预感，喻爱军肯定出事了。她感到好彷徨，好无助。她紧紧地抱着方子衿，一遍又一遍地说，子衿，你知道吗？我的心好疼。就像有好多刀子割着一样，我的心都碎了。方子衿说，你想么事呢？自己吓自己，你也知道，他在前线，由一条生命运输线相连。那条生命运输线，二十四小时有敌机轰炸，每天都有汽车被炸毁，会不会恰好是他的信被毁了？ 她用尽方法，好不容易将吴丽敏带回了宿舍。可回到宿舍后，吴丽敏仍然是痛哭不止。她不好撇开吴丽敏自己去睡觉，只好陪她坐在床上，紧紧地搂着她。吴丽敏哭累了，在她的怀里睡了过去。方子衿想，如果叫醒她，说不准又会大哭一场，不如就这样让她睡吧。她更紧地抱紧了吴丽敏，将自己的头搁在她的肩上，眼睛刚刚闭上，就进入了梦乡。 一个晚上没有睡好，恰好遇到第二天的工作任务异常繁重。刚刚进入医院，她就参与做了一例剖宫产手术，然后又分别为三个产妇助产。三个产妇中有一个难产，医生几次提出做剖宫产手术，家属无论如何不同意。令方子衿诧异的是，他们并非普通的市民或者农民，而是知识分子，具有很高的学历和非同一般的文化素养。高学历和高素养给了他们与众不同的生命哲学和生育理念。他们认为人是一个浑然天成的大气场，一旦做了剖腹手术，就漏气了。人一旦伤了元气，就一定会减少寿命。他们还认为，人类的出生是一个自然的过程，每一道程序都有着极其特别的生理学意义和生命密码。婴儿出生时，宫缩的作用，不仅仅只是将婴儿推出体外，同时还是对婴儿所进行的最后生命完善。比如婴儿的躯体通过母亲狭小的阴道口产出，同样是生命必不可少的程序，是生命制造环节中最后一道极其重要的程序。如果剖宫产，则是用人为的方法免除了这些很可能影响人一生的程序，从而使得人的大脑或者其他机能发育不完善。 因为家属的坚持，方子衿以及她的实习老师多付出了数倍的时间、精力和心力。这个孩子终于被她们接出母体时，已经全身乌紫，没有气息了。她和实习老师又不得不投入更大的精力对孩子进行抢救。 这一天是她实习以来最累的一天，回到宿舍，她连晚饭都不想吃，倒在床上就睡了。她实在太累太困，脑子像是布满了蛛网，思维变得异常迟钝。何况治安情况良好，她也不曾考虑过要防范什么，以至于进门时，只是将门关好，并没有从里面闩上。也不知过了多长时间，她感到自己突然被什么人压住。她感觉到自己的衣服已经被人给脱了，那个压住自己的人，同样没有穿衣服，他的身体，紧紧地压着她的胸部，几乎要将她的乳房挤爆了，还有一块肉插在她的两腿之间。他的身上有一股死老鼠皮的味道掺杂着汗臭味，嘴里吐出的是一股烟臭味和酒臭味，这些味道混合在一起，使得空气中弥漫着一股恶臭味，熏得她头发昏。最初一瞬间，方子衿以为自己是在土匪窝里，她甚至有某种期待，余珊瑶老师会在关键时刻帮她的。这只是一闪念，她很快意识到自己是在学生宿舍里，整幢宿舍很可能只有她和面前这个恶棍。在这无边的黑暗之中，即使她再用力挣扎，即使她使尽全身力气呼喊，也不可能有人来救自己。唯一的办法，她只能自救，在那罪恶的家伙还没有摧毁她宝贵的贞洁之前，她应该保护好自己，将洁白之身留给白长山。 想到白长山，她突然有了一股巨大的力量。这股力量驱使着她张大了口，用尽全身力气一口咬了下去。黑暗中，她的目标不十分明确。等她咬中目标时，才知道被咬中的是对方的耳朵，耳朵的一部分被她咬了下来，一股很浓的带着咸味和铁锈味的液体充满了她的嘴。那人惨叫了一声，连忙伸手去捂着耳朵。方子衿见他还在床上，似乎不想离开，便使出全身力气，手脚并用，双手推向他，双脚踹向他。他猝不及防，从床上翻了下去。房间里传来一阵碰撞声，惨叫声。那一瞬间，方子衿吓坏了，担心这一下将他给摔死了。她翻身坐起，伸手进枕头下面摸电筒。不知是因为紧张还是刚才用力过度，她的手抖得厉害，电筒虽然摸到了，却拿不稳。待终于拿稳了，又没力量推上开关。好一段时间之后，她终于打开电筒，一束白光向下照去。 地上，一个光着身子的男人刚刚爬起来，黝黑的皮肤上有些血迹。他似乎意识到可能被对方认出，猛一把抓过床上的衣服，捂住自己的脸，逃出门去。听到脚步声远了，方子衿知道自己应该爬下床去将门闩上，可是，她努力地支撑了几次，全身抖得厉害，所有的力量不足以撑起她的身体。 过了很长时间，她缓过劲来，从上铺下来，将门闩好，又检查了一下。地下，遗落着点点的血渍。到了床前，见地上散落着一只袜子，袜子的大指头破了一个洞，脚跟部位也曾经破过，却被粗针大线给缝上了。她用电筒在床上扫了扫，看到床上还有一条军用内裤，同样已经破旧，屁股位置补着两个补丁。这两个补丁似乎是从别的军用服装上剪下来的，比原布还要白，而且更显得陈旧。这条内裤方子衿见过，那天早晨去胡之彦家里的时候，他穿的正是这条。 方子衿本能地觉得，这东西对自己可能有用。到底会有什么用，她不清楚。她完全凭着一种特殊的直觉，认为应该保存好这两件东西。将这两件东西收藏在哪里？她没有想好。暂时放在床底，等天亮以后再说吧。她找了张报纸，将两件东西包了，往床底一塞，爬上床去准备继续睡觉。可到了床上，她才意识到，还有更重要的物证留在床上。床单上血迹斑斑，还有被她咬下的一块耳朵上的肉。看到这些，她突然觉得一阵反胃，差点就吐了出来。她迅速将床单和那块肉包在一起，扔在床下。 第二天，方子衿想办法从医院弄了点福尔马林，用玻璃瓶子装着带回宿舍，又从国营商店买回来一大堆蜡烛和一只罐子。回到宿舍后，她立即关上门，从里面闩了。她先拿出玻璃瓶，将那块肉放进去泡在福尔马林液体中，用蜡小心地将瓶口封好。再用床单包了瓶子、袜子和内裤，置于罐子中，再一次用蜡封住口。 半夜时分，她从宿舍里出来，抱着那只罐子来到那片竹林里，刨了一个很深的坑，将罐子埋进去。 第三天去医院，直接走进急诊值班室，抓过值班表翻起来。前晚急诊值班名单中，恰好有一个她的同学。上了半天班，她离开诊室到了急诊科，见这位同学果然在。她和他闲聊了几句，然后装着没事儿一般问他，听说前天晚上出了事，是真的吗？那位同学说，前天晚上有几件事，你指哪一件事？方子衿说，当然是与我们班有关的。男同学恍然大悟地哦了一声，这么快就传到你们那里了？方子衿找他，就是想证实一件事：胡之彦是否来看过急诊。她的同学证实胡之彦当晚确实急急忙忙跑来看急诊，他的耳垂不知怎么闹的，缺了一大块，只剩大半边耳朵了。他自己说在街上遇到人家打架，他去劝架，被不知什么东西打的。可医生看后说，那伤绝对不是打出来的，而是牙齿咬的。男同学小声地对方子衿说，你说吧，真看不出来李淑芬这么厉害。 离开值班室返回妇科时，恰好遇到吴丽敏。吴丽敏的脸色很不好，大病过一场似的。显然，她还没有收到喻爱军的信，方子衿又不知该怎样劝她。她拉着方子衿说，子衿，我已经打听到了他的家，今天下班后，你能不能陪我去他家看看？方子衿看了她一眼，不忍拒绝她，点了点头。 喻爱军的家在南面郊外的喻家山，医学院在宁昌的北郊，两地一南一北，隔着长江和东江。她们从武成路坐公共汽车到张家巷，再从张家巷坐轮渡跨过长江到东阳门，从东阳门改乘公共汽车到小玉山。在小玉山下了车，便到了郊区，再没有车可坐了。找人问了问，人家说，一直往南走，走到恒湖边上就是。吴丽敏看了看天，见天上已经缀上了稀稀落落的星星，带点焦急地问还有多远。被问到的每一个人回答都不一样，有说四五里地的，有说五六里地的，有说七八里地的，也有说十一二里地的。越问吴丽敏是心里越没有底，如果真是十一二里地，这么走下去，赶到时，人家恐怕也该睡觉了。到了喻家山，还能找到人打听吗？方子衿说，既然来了，就别管那么多了，大不了找处山地睡一晚上，明天早晨再打听。 找到喻家山，已经接近十一点了。这个村子很大，围着一座小山包错落地建着一些房子，破破败败的，几乎难以见到一幢像样点的。村里人似乎早已经睡下了，黑灯瞎火，她们每向前走一步，便招来一阵狗叫。这叫声让两个姑娘心惊肉跳，商量了半天，还是决定找个人问问。终于见到一个人从黑洞洞的门口出来，她们正要迎过去，发现那个男人站在门口，双腿叉开，双手摆在面前，不一会儿传来哗哗的流水声。两人只好收住脚步，待那人方便结束，才远远地叫一声：同志，向你打听个人。请问喻爱军的家是不是这里？那人说，喻爱军？我们这里有三个喻爱军。方子衿连忙说，就是当志愿军的那个。男人说，哦，你们找军伢。他向前指了指，说你们向前走，看到有灯亮的房子，就是了。 喻家的经济状况显然非常一般，三间土砖房子，房顶上没有瓦，盖的是草。门前挂着光荣军属的牌子。青石的门墩子上，贴着一副白色的对联。吴丽敏一见，猛地愣住了。方子衿也傻了眼，这副白色对联是挽联，而挽联的颜色还没有被雨水漂去，贴上的时间并不是太长，说明这家不久前办过或者正在办着白喜事。从这家深夜还点着灯来看，这白喜事似乎正在进行当中。她转头看吴丽敏，月光下，看不清她的脸，只见到她的身子摇摇欲坠。方子衿一把伸出手，抓住吴丽敏的手臂搀住她，小声地劝她。吴丽敏不言不语，傻了一般倚在她的身上。方子衿想，既然来了，无论如何，得进去一趟。她伸手敲门，开门的是一个三十多岁的汉子，屋内几支大白蜡烛光照在方子衿和吴丽敏的脸上，月光照在汉子的脸上。汉子的脸很黑，很模糊，泥塑出来的一般。他没料到门口站着的是两个年轻女人，嘴一下子张大了，半天不知该说点什么。 吴丽敏的目光穿过汉子那泥一样黑的肩头，向前望去，里面是一间堂屋，香几上摆着香炉，炉中插着香，特殊的线香味向外飘来，熏得人头晕目眩。香炉的两边，各有一支大大的白蜡烛，烛光飘荡着。香几上方挂着黑色幛幔，围在幛幔中间的是一个相框，里面嵌着一张相。烛光昏暗闪烁，相框中只有模糊的一个影子，看不清形象。两边的墙上，挂满了大张大张的白纸以及密密麻麻的挽幛，由于烛光的关系，看不清上面的字。可以肯定的是，她们走进了一个灵堂。吴丽敏哇的一声哭了出来，挣脱了方子衿搀着的手臂，从汉子的身边挤过，几步跨进了堂屋。堂屋的正中有两只拜垫，她步履蹒跚着到了拜垫前面，双膝一曲，跪了下去，整个人像虾米一样躬着，头碰到了地上。 方子衿木木地站在她的身边，呆呆地抬眼看了看正面的相框，想看清相框中的人，可光线太暗了，只能看到一个模模糊糊的影子。她又低眼看了看吴丽敏，心里想着：她有可能伤心过度而昏过去，自己得小心点，在关键时刻扶她一把。 汉子走到方子衿面前，凑在她耳边小声地问：“她是我爸的么事人？” 方子衿一时没明白过来，看着汉子。这一切来得太突然了，巨大的打击造成了大脑塞车，平常很容易转的弯子，此时就是转不过来。也由于她们到达时是晚上，月光昏暗，烛光更昏暗，既没有看清门前挽联的内容，也没有看到堂屋中黑相框的人貌。待这个弯子终于转过来，方子衿才算是明白了，原来死去的不是喻爱军而是他的父亲。喻爱军和家里通信，远没有和吴丽敏通信频密。他心情好的时候，会隔一个月左右给家里写一封信，寥寥数字报个平安，如果心情不好或者忙起来，两三个月一封信也是完全可能的。因此，家里根本不清楚喻爱军的现状，甚至不知道有吴丽敏这个人。反而是她们的到来，将这个令人极度不安的消息带进了这个家庭。刚刚经历了丧夫之痛的喻母，得知儿子生死未卜的消息，眼睛一闭，晕倒在地。 吴丽敏见状，向前跨过去，似乎是想帮忙，方子衿意识到她们即使留在这里，也起不了任何作用，只可能添乱，一把拉了吴丽敏，迅速退了出来。 夏夜的郊外，宁静燥热。聒噪了一天的蝉此时是最老实的时候，只有纺织娘不知疲倦地发出嘶鸣。来时，她们顶着的是满天繁星，此刻却是黑云压城。一场暴风雨在她们刚刚离开喻家山时突然而至。这是一场典型的偷袭，事前既没有闪电也没有雷鸣。雨脚急促奔跑的声音在她们身边形成轰响时，她们还没有意识到发生了什么事。一瞬间，她们的身影被笼罩在密集的雨幕之中。 电闪、雷鸣，暴雨如注。