Chapter 9 lateness and etiquette

In the Gojong era of Joseon Dynasty, Park Jae-hsin compiled a work called "Haedong Xu Elementary School", which records the incident of Kim Hak-bong's envoy, which is quite interesting.When Jin Hefeng was in Xuanzu, he served as a deputy tutor, and once he was ordered to go to Japan as an envoy.When he arrived at Tsushima Island, the owner of the island invited him to the banquet, but he was late by himself, and "take a sedan chair to enter, and go down to the steps." Jin Hefeng said angrily: "Tsushima Island is a vassal of our country, and the envoy came here on orders, how dare you insult him like that. I cannot accept this banquet." So he stopped the banquet and left.The owner of Tsushima Island was so frightened that he killed the bearer and beheaded him to apologize.From then on, "the Japanese people respect and respect them, treat them with courtesy, and dismount when they see them."

This matter can show the relationship between South Korea and Japan at that specific period, and it can also show one side of Korean people's temper.However, Jinhefeng's requirements for etiquette are based on the "suzerain vassal", which is a bit like "seeking courtesy with power".In fact, even if Tsushima is not a vassal, even if everyone is equal or even if the suzerain and vassal change in reverse, you should not be late to invite people to the banquet.Otherwise, it is not "knowledge".It's just "fun".Perhaps because of this, ancient Korea despised Japan for a long time, thinking that they were barbarians who did not know etiquette. Volume 37 of "Xuanzu Shilu" records the words of the King of Korea: "Chinese parents are also foreign countries like Japan. They are like sons. If their parents are to their sons, they are filial sons of our country and Japanese thieves." Li Tuixi, a famous Confucian master, advised the king not to have the same knowledge as Japan in an article "Being Never Judging Japanese Envoys" because of "the insufficiency and comparison of animals." Li Tuixi's attitude is somewhat different from that of Jin Hefeng.Jinhefeng is compared with it to show its prestige, while Li Tuixi advocates that "treat the barbarians with the barbarians, and the barbarians will be divided, so the king will not rule the barbarians." Performing rites and music" has no good results except forcing animals to bite people.

I have been giving lectures in Korea for two years. Friends from all walks of life in Korea invited me to dinner countless times, and the host was late in seven or eight out of ten cases.Once, a boss invited all Chinese and Korean teachers to a banquet, and everyone sat for a long time. When the official arrived, he neither explained nor greeted him. After sitting down, he discussed something with the Koreans in Korean for a long time.The other Chinese teachers were all angry, so I had to tell jokes and defuse the crisis on behalf of the Korean boss.Such incidents emerge in endlessly.Chinese people generally believe that Korean dishes are clear and watery, and there is nothing to eat. Going to a banquet is purely to save face for Koreans and to "fulfill courtesy".However, Korean friends often ignore the goodwill in this, which unknowingly leads to mutual emotional estrangement.A young teacher of a famous university in southern China even declared that he would refuse all the banquets of Koreans, and lost his temper like Jin Hefeng.Because I know that Koreans have no malice, they are negligent rather than deliberately insulting, so I take it for granted. I usually adopt the practice of arriving 15 minutes late and arriving at about the same time as the host, which avoids embarrassment for both parties.Because I have many such tricks, some Chinese and Korean friends jokingly call me Korea Handy.

Regarding etiquette, whether it is big or small, it actually depends on who you meet.When encountering the Golden Crane Peak, those who are impolite will take their own humiliation and lose the big because of the small.When meeting Li Tuixi, they seem to live in peace on the surface, but they are actually looked down upon.Don't care about it, it may actually be a greater contempt.Honest people may not think of these truths.Because Koreans are hot-tempered, most Chinese are reluctant to speak.I tell it not only to remind my Korean friends who are also a country of etiquette, but also to hope that Chinese friends will be careful, be careful!

(China now likes people who are late, and it seems that there are more and more people.)