Chapter 10 my writing life

——Talk Record II Seven thirty in the evening.It was pouring rain outside. In the lecture hall of Gengshen Academy of Culture and Education, originally there were only 200 seats, but no less than 600 people were crowded, and there was no way they could squeeze in at the gate.Father Lu Dacheng from the Cultural and Educational Institute accompanied the speaker, Ms. Sanmao, to lead the way, shouting: "I'm sorry, please make way! Please make way!" Sanmao still has long hair and shawls, a beige long skirt under a black pullover, and a light makeup on her face, which is even more delicate in her sobriety.Seeing the crowded situation in the lecture hall, Sanmao became nervous, and asked people directly: "Should I bring toilet paper to the stage? There are so many people, so many people, I am afraid that I will 'rain' first." Sanmao was worried about the face When speaking to so many people, she would lose control of her emotions and shed tears while speaking, but she said that "it rained first", and taught others to laugh first.

Standing on the podium, Sanmao said to the friends who were sitting, standing, or sitting in the room in his usual low and gentle voice: "I didn't expect that I have so many friends in Taiwan, especially the rain outside tonight is so heavy. .” Then Sanmao began to speak on the topic of tonight: my writing life. It’s great to see so many friends on a rainy day, my friends: I'm sorry that it started a quarter of an hour late today. I'm a very punctual person. Just now I have been waiting for Father Lu to take me. Recently, my life was very confused, and I couldn't remember which day I was going to give a speech, until a friend called me the day before yesterday and said: We will meet at Gengxin Cultural and Educational Institute the day after tomorrow.I was taken aback, but then, I thought, never mind, there were only about twenty people.

You can talk about it casually, but I didn't expect that I have so many friends in Taiwan. It was raining again today. I heard that Taipei is not the rainy season, but after I came back, I found it was always raining.I thought that there would not be so many friends coming today. When I saw you, I was very scared and wanted to run away. I hope that my words will not have a bad influence on you. I used to teach and often went to the podium, but when I was teaching, I had textbooks. Now I don’t have textbooks when I talk to you. Bad effect.In particular, I would like to mention a letter from a young reader as the beginning of today's conversation.When I first returned to Taiwan, I received a letter from a high school girl. I can’t remember her name. This reader said that she wanted to commit suicide when she was in the third year of junior high school because of the pressure of going to school. At that time, she read My book has changed because of this. I don't know what she has changed, but she keeps saying that it is my book that saved her.I think this child is a bit "stupid", because none of my books can save you, only you can save yourself, and others cannot save you.She said that she is now a high school student, and with the recent death of my husband, she said that she felt that life was still fake, and she still had to die.It has been several months since I received this letter, and I have not known how to answer it, but I miss this friend very much because of the sincerity of her letter.I hope she forgets about me because it's a bad influence.I don’t know if this friend is here today, or if she has friends, please tell her that the letter has been received, and ask her not to be discouraged, because what happened to others did not happen to her after all.

My wife who never aspired to be a writer, but once made up her mind to be a painter. The topic of today's lecture is "My Writing Life". , I am not used to it, and I feel unworthy.A writer should be someone who is very knowledgeable or talented. As for me, I have been a housewife for six years. I have never been a professional writer, and I will not be in the future. I never set out to be a writer.When I was young, my parents would ask, my teachers would ask, or I would ask myself: What do you want to do when you grow up?I said to be the wife of a great artist. "Do you have a partner?" They would ask, and I said, "Yes." "Who is it?" "It's the Spanish painter Picasso!" Because when I was young, I liked art very much.Later, when writing essays, I always said that I wanted to be the wife of a great artist, not that I wanted to be an artist.My homework is not good, I get zero marks in the math test, and the only thing I can do well is Chinese. There are about ten students in the class whose compositions are from when I was a child. The highest score is five points, I don't know how to do it, it should be zero points.My composition is good. When I was in the fifth grade of elementary school, I wrote the speeches for the speeches. Every time there must be my works on the wall. My family is very happy. But once, I moved the teacher to tears because I told He and I are orphans, and wrote about 5,000 words of "Wandering Children".

After entering junior high school, I wrote the composition of about ten students in the class.Because they couldn't write it, I said bring it, and I will write it for you.Later, I learned to write Tang poems and wrote more than a dozen poems in the composition.I found that although I couldn't do other things well, I could still write. This is a way of opportunism. In the second year of junior high school, I didn't like school life, so I left school to study by myself.When I got to university, I studied philosophy with many classmates who graduated from high school, and found that my Chinese language was not as good as theirs. I didn’t know the Chinese language test when I was a freshman, when was "Spring and Autumn", who wrote the works, etc. , so the Chinese failed.Later I went to the teacher, and I said, "Teacher, I am a teenager out of school. I don't know when "Spring and Autumn" was compiled. I think it is a problem of literary history." The teacher said, "You should know!" Said: "Yes! I know it is Chinese, but not this type." Later he said: "Then you have to make up the exam." I said: "You still can't pass the make-up exam. There is only one way. Can I give you six essays." He asked me how many words I wanted to write, and I said let me write.

The made-up story moved the teacher to tears. Later, I wrote an article of more than 30,000 words, about my father, my mother, and my childhood life, starting from my grandfather, with a love story in the middle. My uncle wasn't in love, I made it up. The teacher asked me to write with a brush, but I couldn't write, so I used a signature pen to write like a brush.This article is very well written, the story is true or false, and the plot, the teacher read it, called me over, and said: "You are the most talented of my students. What you wrote about the previous generation is all Is it true?" I said, "Don't worry about whether it's true or not, do you still like this work?" He said, "The teacher was very touched after reading it, and she was in tears after not sleeping all night."

I am very lucky. After I was in elementary school, I have not been rejected for my submission. I found that everything I did was not right and not going well. The most smooth thing was writing articles. Therefore, I started writing articles in college. But not very diligent.I have a very glorious record of submitting manuscripts since elementary school, and I haven't been rejected yet. There was a book published in my teenage years that was forced to be published, because if I didn't publish it, someone else could publish the essays in a collection, and I wouldn't even get royalties.In fact, those things are very immature and should not be published. They were articles published before I was twenty-two years old. The words are very raw and the feelings are very ethereal. I don’t like the word ethereal, but that was when I wrote it at that time. Some Feelings That Can't Be Fake, this is my first book.

Writing was the least important part of my life, it was the cherry on top of the cake. Then I left Taiwan for Spain, life changes and other things made me stop writing.Every time a friend writes a letter, he always says that it is a pity that you do not write, because you have just started to write.I told him: I am changing now, and I don’t want to write anything at this time, lest I regret it in the future.This friend is an editor, he said, okay, I will wait for you, how many months will I wait for you?I said: You wait slowly.Wait, wait for ten years. One day, sitting at home in the desert, I realized that I could write again.So, I don't think waiting is a bad thing, don't be in a hurry.Now some friends are asking me: Sanmao, you don’t write anymore, how long will it take you to write again?I said, don't worry, wait for me.He said: How long will it take?I said: Probably another ten years.As soon as he heard it, he immediately said: Isn't that waiting to die?I said: After all, this is not in our own hands. If I were forced to write, I would not be able to write well, and ten years later, I might show up with another face.

I don't think writing is the greatest happiness in life.Someone asked me: Do you know that you are a very famous person in Taiwan?I said I don't know, because I have been abroad.He asked again: Do you care about names?I replied that it didn't seem to hurt or itch, and I didn't feel anything.He asked me again, your book sells well, are you happy?I said, I am neither happy nor unhappy, these are irrelevant things.Someone asked me again, is writing an important part of your life?I said: it is the least important part.He asked again: If you look at the proportion of cutting the cake, how much is writing?I said: It's the cherry on top of the cake!

Life is more important than writing; I value life more than writing. Maybe you will think that writing is an achievement in life. I sincerely say: there are too many things worth pursuing in life, and writing a good book is of course Can leave a lot of good influence on future generations.As for my own book, how many years have to pass the test.My writing is very shallow, and children in the fourth grade of elementary school can read it, and they can see the old man all the time, but this does not represent the value of literature, which is definitely two different things. One year, I was in love, and I was walking with my Jose in a big park in Madrid. At half past six in the morning, I was writing for "Industrial World", and it was the last day of submission, and I was so annoyed up.I said to Jose: I won't meet with you tomorrow because I have to hand in the manuscript.Jose said: That's all right, I'll take you to the park for a walk tomorrow morning, and your article will be published later.I continued to walk with him in the park, but my mind was always thinking about the article. At this time, I saw the gardener in the park climbing to a very tall tree to saw trees in such a cold winter morning.I saw the people sawing the tree, and said to Jose: They are so pitiful, they are so cold, and they still have to stay on the tree.But Jose said something to me, he said: I think those who are locked in a square box to work and face numbers are the most pitiful people in the world.If I have to choose, I must be the person on the tree, not the person who works in the bank.After hearing Jose's words, I wrote a letter to the editor of the magazine when I got home, saying, I'm sorry, the column will be opened next month, so I won't write it.

Writing is just one of my games so I'm a person who values ​​life more than writing, writing is just one of my games.Others may ask: Are you a gamer?I want to say: I am No Game No Life.The purpose of coming to this world is to play. Confucius said "playing in art". How many meanings do these words contain? In the most vernacular words, it is to play.What I’m talking about is not playing in the dance hall, nor playing with electric toys, or smoking marijuana. No, my life must be played to the fullest. Of course it’s not up to me, but at least my philosophy of life It is to do everything only if you feel it is fun, and you will never force yourself to achieve a goal.I am very nervous when I say this, it is not good to say this, but it is only for myself, not for others, and my outlook on life is that everything is for fun, but it has to be played smartly, for example, painting Painting is one kind, planting vegetables is one kind, planting flowers is another kind, being a husband is another kind, being a wife is another kind, being parents is another kind, life is a game, but you have to play it seriously, yes very interesting. Many people read my book and said: Sanmao, your stuff is really fun to read.I like to hear the phrase "It's really fun" from my friends. If a friend says: Your stuff has a deep meaning, or -, I don't know how to say it, because very few friends say this to me, ordinary friends They all say that looking at your things is very pleasant and fun.I would ask: Are all the things I write playing?They said: yes.A child told me: "What you write is so fun!" I think it's a compliment Not long ago I met a kid in the fourth grade of elementary school, and he said: Your stuff is very interesting.I think it’s a kind of compliment. The things I wrote in the past were not fun, like, because I was young and didn’t know how to play in the world, and I passed through a very depressing teenage period.Later, I realized that my time in this world would be shortened every day, and I must enjoy life.How to enjoy it?Like my "Story in the Desert", sorry to mention my book again.The first article "Restaurant in the Desert" is about playing cooking, the second "Marriage Notes" is about how to get married and pretend to be a housekeeper, the third article is about treating people in the desert, which is also for fun, and there is another article that is very interesting It's called "Desert Observation and Bathing", and it shows how the local people take a bath.These things are when you are in a good mood and you find your life so beautiful, why not write it out?I wrote it without knowing it, and I don't have the so-called "sense of mission" or "writing to convey the truth", neither do I. Although what I write is about ordinary family life, it is very ordinary, but I have to say that many friends who have a boring life have written to me saying that my articles have brought them happiness. What I want to emphasize here is: your life That's your article.I am a Christian, and I want to thank the ruler of heaven and earth—we call him God, because he has made my life colorful. As for what will happen in the future, I don’t know.Why is my pen name "San Mao"?What was the experience of getting your first submission published after ten years of non-writing? Let me tell you how it felt when I submitted to the United Daily News for the first time after I stopped writing for ten years.When I wrote the article, I didn’t know what name to use. I was never called Sanmao. After the article was finished, I thought: I am not the person I was ten years ago. I have changed a lot. I don’t like to use another essay. I thought it was too contrived. After thinking about it for a long time, I thought that I was just a small person, so I might as well call myself Sanmao.Later, he wanted to explain to Jose what Sanmao meant, but he understood. He drew a human head with three hairs on it, and said: Is this Sanmao?I said: Yes!Jose said: Oh, this has always been my trademark! After posting this article, I have been worrying about gains and losses, and I have a heavy psychological burden. I know this article is not very content, but it is just a little more playful.As a result, ten days later, I received the aviation edition of "United Daily News" mailed to the Sahara Desert. When I saw the article published, I could hardly believe my eyes, it was so fast.I took this newspaper and left. At that time, Jose and I didn't have a car, but I couldn't wait any longer. I walked on the desert with the newspaper in my hand, planning to go to the construction site and tell him that I was walking on his road. On the road that the traffic car would pass by, later, the traffic car came over, and when he saw me, he asked the driver to stop, and I ran towards him, and he said, "Wonderful, you've hit the shot!"I said, yes, yes, right here.He asked: How do you prove that it is you?I said: Did you read the words in that pseudonym!It was a very happy day, and I can’t forget it until now. Ten years later, when I wrote an article for the first time, in the desert, there was only one person to share it with, and this person couldn’t understand my article, but I was still very happy , dancing in the desert like a child.Love, hope, and happiness are gifts from God to people. Since then, I have written many articles about deserts, and there are still many articles that have not been written. Many friends said that the desert you told us is different from the desert you wrote, because there are A lot of good-sounding and mysterious things have not been written.I said, this is not a pity, there is greater happiness in my life.He said: But readers are waiting for your article.I said: Readers have the happiness of readers, they should not get happiness from me, they should pursue their own happiness.Of course, I think whether a writer is popular or appreciated depends on the writer's own efforts, but the enthusiasm of readers is also a great encouragement and resonance. A friend told me: Sanmao, you can be friends with everyone.I said: I am a very withdrawn person. Sometimes I answer too many calls, and I feel annoying and noisy.When he came back this time, he said to me again: Do you know where your strengths lie?You have always taught people to have love and hope for life.That's what he told me, not me.But he said: I want to jump off a building all day long!He added: But, this time when you come back, you still give me this feeling.I asked him why, and he said: Even if you come back this time, you still give the friends around you confidence and hope in life. This is something you don't realize yourself.After I heard this sentence, I felt that it was he who encouraged me, not me, because love, hope and happiness are not material things, and I always think they are gifts from God.It is very common for us to have so many organs, like a chemical factory, but for abstract and intangible things, organs cannot produce them, neither are thoughts, love, faith, or hope. Marriage is one of the best things in the world; it is the same for both boys and girls. I found that there are more girls than boys here today. From my personal experience, I would like to tell my friends, especially girls-marriage is life The most happy thing.Don't be afraid, if you have a lot of unmarried friends, let's skip the subject of writing, I sincerely say that the greatest happiness in life is the same for boys and girls, but because I am a girl, I don't know what it is for boys. Psychologically, marriage is one of the most beautiful things in life.Based on my experience in life, I have been to many countries, including some regions in Eastern Europe, when the ROC passport was not yet recognized, I have used the ROC passport to go to many countries without diplomatic relations, and to many strange countries. Africa, Europe, South America, seeing different people, eating different foods, and learning different languages ​​are not happiness in life.I have always emphasized the happiness and love of marriage. My articles cannot pick out some places that most people think have deep human contradictions. My articles are relatively few. Maybe good literature has a deeper description of human nature. However, after I grow up, I don’t like to lie, the things I record are all true, and in my real life, all I come into contact with is love, so I don’t know what to write about hate or conflict, or complicated feelings, because I don’t have any. My writing life is my love life; my outlook on life is my outlook on love I used to be a very complicated person, but when I was 31 or 2 years old, I became more and more simple. Even when I first returned to Taipei, I was still afraid of cars and unaccustomed to hearing the phone ringing. , because in the six years since we got married, we have not installed a telephone in our house.Later, the telephone can be installed, and my husband and I thought about it, and he said: "We don't want it!" I said: "Okay, we don't want a phone." Friends who love writing may not get much, but I am confident. I believe that there are many friends who have doubts or fears in love. From my own experience, I still tell you that marriage is worth a try. thing. My writing life, if not for the freedom, love and confidence my husband José gave me, I wouldn't be able to write a single book.Besides, I translated a set of Spanish comic books called "Dolls See the World". I didn't pay much attention to this book in the past, but now I attach great importance to it, so I handed it over to Crown Press for reprinting. This book is about a thousand pages long and is part of our family life.This is not writing, it is family life.For eight full months, after we had dinner, my husband and I turned off the TV, locked the door to prevent anyone from entering, and turned on a small light. He sat opposite me and began to translate "Baby Watching the World". A thousand pages were translated in a month.So my writing life is my love life.This is really strange. Others must say that when I went to listen to Sanmao's speech today, she was talking nonsense and nonsense, because she said such strange words, "My writing life is my love life." But I still want to Say, "My outlook on life is my outlook on love." My work is almost entirely biographical.Unreal things, I can’t write. I hope I don’t have to wait another ten years before I can write with a pen again. I will walk my way and find my way in the future, but there is one thing I know I can’t do, that is Write about things that are not true.I am very envious of some writers who can make up stories. I have many friends who are good at making up stories. They can make up a lot of touching stories. You ask him: "Is this true or false?" He said it is true I think this is also a creative direction, but almost all of my articles are biographical literature, that is, the published things must not be fake.If one day you don't know which corner of the world I have gone to, because I am leaving again.When you didn’t see my article published, maybe you would say: “Sanmao doesn’t want to write because she doesn’t want to write lies. When she wants to write, she writes the truth. When she doesn’t want to give the truth to She doesn’t write when you know.” So, it’s really useless for everyone to listen to me today. I am a good housewife, and the six years with Jose are a gift from God. Some people must be wondering why I have left Taiwan for ten years and have not written articles. After I got married, I wrote articles instead?Others say that if a writer is a housewife, he cannot write articles, otherwise he will not be able to figure out firewood, rice, oil, and salt.I am a housewife and very much a housekeeper because I love home.I think God gave me six amazing years. I believe that my husband came into my life with a very important task and mission. He didn't know it, and neither did I.For six years, he took me here, there, to the Sahara, he made me a free wife, never interfered with me, let my personality develop freely, although he didn't understand my articles, he talked to every One person said: "My wife is a writer." Everyone didn't believe it. He didn't understand Chinese, but he was very proud of it.I published a book called "San Mao", but I haven't written it since then. My friend asked me, and Mr. Yi Xian from "United Daily News" often wrote to me: "Why didn't San Mao stop writing? I dare not urge you." I know how to answer these letters from friends who love me. In fact, I have almost a year, which is the last... I have a bad habit of speaking now, and I will say "this is the last year," and the so-called last year is the last of my husband's life one year.My usual habit of writing manuscripts is to write at night and sleep during the day.In the last year, I suddenly found that when I was writing, my husband went to bed in the morning, and he should get up at six in the morning, so at eleven o'clock in the evening, I said to him: "Joseph, you go to bed, I’m going to start writing, because I owe too much to people, I can’t help it, you go to bed.” He put away my tea and went to sleep, and I didn’t care that he started smoking and drinking tea, and put himself in the article go.Because Jose couldn't sleep, I stopped writing the last article, which was "Eternal Mary". I remember it took nearly four days to write, and the writing was not good. At six o'clock in the morning, I sneaked into the Sleeping in the bedroom, I walked in carefully, so as not to wake up Hexi, but found that he was covering his head with a quilt. As soon as I entered, he jumped up with a "Wow!" and shouted: "You finally finished writing !" I asked him, "You didn't sleep?" He said, "I dare not tell, because the house is too small, and I dare not move, so I put a quilt over my head and see what time you will come in." ! Finally you finished writing.” I asked him how long has this been going on?He said: "It doesn't matter how long it has been going on, since you and I started writing articles, I can't sleep." I said: "You know I'm outside, why can't I sleep?" I scolded him because I felt distressed.I said: "Why don't you sleep?" He said: "I don't know, I can't sleep." I said: "Then I can't write articles!" He said: "You can write." So I said I In the afternoon, he said he would accompany me to write, but when I said I had to write in the evening, he said yes.So I looked back at him every hour of writing. He tossed and turned and couldn't sleep. Later I asked him why, and he said, "Did you forget? Because I have to hold your hand when I sleep for so many years." I After hearing this, I was sad for a while, and simply said: "Joseph, then I will stop writing from now on." From then on, I really didn't write for ten months. When someone asked me, I said that my husband can't sleep, and they I thought it was funny and said: "Leave him alone if he can't sleep!" I said: "His job is dangerous, I hope he sleeps well." Later, my parents came to ask why I hadn't written an article for ten months. Said: "Joseph can't sleep." The father asked why Josh couldn't sleep?I said: "I can't tell you, he can't sleep anyway." They asked again, and then I said, because we are a very enlightened family, I said: "For six years, no matter how he slept, the first thing he did when he turned over was You must find my hand, and then sleep soundly." Therefore, if the life of Jose and I continues, Sanmao may disappear after a few years. I also told my mother: "For a person who has not studied much, five books are too many. I won’t write any more.” My mother asked why?I said: "I am very happy in life, and if my writing gets in the way of my life, I am willing to give up my writing." My mother said that these are two things that do not conflict, but I still did not write until José left this world . Answer the audience's questions I figured I'd save some time and ask questions to my friends who love me.This is the first time I have met so many friends since I returned to Taipei. I am grateful, moved, and panicked, but I am very glad that you can talk to me.There are still twenty minutes left. Question: Miss Sanmao, where do you plan to live in the future? A: I can't say where I will live in the future.I think that the road of man must of course be walked by his own feet, but there is a god above us, who is leading you silently, but you don't know it.I used to live on a small island with only 20,000 people and an area of ​​more than 800 square kilometers. After my father and mother went there, they exclaimed, "Peach Blossom Spring is here." I thought I would live there, Still left.Next month I will leave Taiwan, go to many places and countries, because the air ticket costs about the same, and then return to Spain. However, I think I will often return to Taiwan in the future.Indeed, a friend asked me where I was going, and I said I wanted to go here and there, because no one will wait for me from now on, and my walking slowly is the same as walking fast, so where I live in the future, I will really do not know.Friends who ask this question, if you know where to go, please let me know. Question: Wandering is very lonely, how do you eliminate the loneliness in your life?Answer: I have heard a popular song: "I go home with my guitar, what kind of flower do I bring?" I hate this kind of song very much, it is only written by people who have never been homeless and that homelessness is a romantic thing , such a person does not need to wander, because if he wanders, he will definitely return halfway.I am wandering, not in pursuit of romance, but I have finished my studies in this place, and I can't find a job, what should I do?I will go to another place to study or do something.So when it comes to wandering, my personal experience is forced.Of course, I have traveled to many countries, but to be honest, I have never been happy since I left home. It is not brave to say this, but I was really unhappy after I left Taiwan until I established my own home.Therefore, how to make homeless people happy is very difficult.I don't have an answer on this question.Strangely, I found that neither the previous question nor this one had an answer.Question: You and Jose were looking for fossils in the desert, but Jose fell into the quicksand. How did you feel at that time? Answer: This article is called "Night on the Barren Mountain".Yes, Jose was about to die that time, and he didn't know how he felt when he encountered difficulties.I remember when I drove back to look for Jose, I found that the quicksand was gone because I looked in the wrong place.My first reaction was: "He is dead." I was terrified and trembling with fear. I know why this friend asked this question, because he didn't ask me about my mood this time, but it was the same mood that time.I have never encountered such a fear in my life. When Jose died this time, an English lady came to tell me.It was one o'clock in the evening, and she knocked on the door and said to me, "Echo, sit down." I didn't sit down, and I asked, "Jose is dead?" She said, "No, sit down and I'll tell you. "I said: "He's dead?" The English lady supported me, and I asked her a third time: "Are you here to tell me that Jose is dead?" She said: "They are looking for Jose's body. "My first feeling was fear. I was terribly afraid. I have never been so brave in my life. Before, I thought I was a very brave person. Ask me how I feel about losing Jose?What I’m talking about is that a person sometimes encounters things that he can’t bear. The Bible says, “I can afford everything I give you.” But when faced with something that cannot be lost, you feel that you can’t afford it, and you are afraid that you will become into half.I was in a very complicated mood at the time, because when faced with losing the most important thing, the next reaction was that I couldn't, I didn't want to lose.This is fear, fear into madness, but finally came.Q: In what mood did you write the song "Olive Tree"? A: "Olive Tree" is a song written nine years ago.My friend Mr. Li Taixiang asked me to write some lyrics, and he urged me to write. I wrote nine songs in one night, one of which was "Olive Tree".Because I love olive trees, olive trees are beautiful.My husband José's hometown is in the south of Spain, and the most famous one is olives.However, when I wrote the song "Olive Tree", it was sold out for 500 yuan. Today, I spent more money buying a tape to send to a friend than I got.I am not going to talk about how much money I make today, but I said that there are two lines in this song that I did not write, because this song was sold to Kolin at first, and then transferred to Xinge, so there are some copyright issues question.I don't know how to sing this song. It seems that there is a sentence like "wandering is for the birds flying in the sky and the prairie". Just to see the birds flying in the sky and the prairie, so there is no need to go wandering.Q: If you had a child of your own, how would you care for him? A: I think when he was born I would wrap him in a clean cloth, that was the first step.And then love him, right?What do you do if you have a child?I think every mother wraps him up with a clean cloth, and once she wraps it up, she expresses her love for him.How to educate?It's simple, love him, love is the most important thing, I think so, I have no children of my own. Question: You said that you liked to make up stories when you were a child, but when you grew up, you wrote real stories. What is the change in your mental journey? Answer: It’s very simple, because when I was a child, the road to school was the same, the white sneakers everyone wore were the same, and the uniforms were also the same, with student numbers embroidered on them, so when you were a child, you had to imagine, Because life is very ordinary.Although it was fun for us to go to school on the ridge, it was still very simple, so I like to make up stories.But when I grow up, I don’t have time to make up stories, because there are many things that I have encountered that are worth writing. I think I should finish writing my real stories before making up, but I can’t finish writing, so I don’t make up. .Question: You like art, how do you like it? A: I really don't know how to answer how I like art.I think everyone has a little bit of talent that God gave you.How sensitive am I to art?I remember when I was studying in Germany, my teacher typed the slides, and before I could focus on them, I said, "You are going to show something by Gauguin today." He said, how do you know?I said, you know the color when you see it.I think you all have your own great talent, whether it's painting or music, everyone must have it.I think art likes me, not me. Question: Sanmao, how are you feeling recently?please take care.bless you. A: Thank you, my friend.I am still a person with love, this is my concept of love, although my marriage is terminated today, but love never dies.Life and death cannot be separated by love, so I have love and my husband's love.Question: You wrote a story "Dead Fruit" in the desert, and you fell under the spell while wearing it. How did you feel? 答：天地间有很多神秘的感情不能单单用科学来解释，我自己遭遇到很多科学不能解释的事情。我写《死果》，描述在沙漠里捡到符咒，挂在身上发生很多奇怪的事。至于说到沙漠里碰到这种邪门的事，我认为这是我们不可说的，我也不能解释，在这件事上我只是把我的经历写出来，我没有责任去解释，更何况在我们中国古老社会里，就有这样的事。 问：你说你不知道将来的事，请问你是不是宿命论者？ 答：我是不是宿命论者？我想路是自己跨出去的，你不能坐在屋子里说自己是宿命论者。我不是完全的宿命论者，但是我相信我们在世界上有个人的年限，这点我是不否认的；但是要遭遇到什么事情，这跟个性有很大的关系，有一点是先天，有一点是后天的。所以我不知道我将来的路，因为我有很多想法，都不能实现，要不然现在是二月，荷西应该站在我的身边才对，因为我们本来存钱，准备今年一月两个人一起回台湾。我不知道未来，我把将来交在冥冥中主宰的手里，一点也不急，就等着它告诉我应走的路。 问：你初到西班牙是抱什么心情？找寻什么？What is the motivation?可不可以说是你一生的转折点？ 答：去西班牙是我一生很大的转折点，但并不决定于地理因素，而是个人环境上一个很大的转变——离开了父母。我父母宠爱我，那时我已经上大学了，它们疼我疼得不得了，有时风雨太大，我有鼻过敏毛病，母亲就会说，你不要上阳明山了，今天在家里念书。那时我有一个感觉，就是我一定要离开我的父母，因为他们照顾我太周到了，我不能建立自己的人格。 所以去西班牙这个国家不是转折点，离开家庭才是我的转折点，这不是我跟家庭有不好的关系才离开，我很爱他们。但是你看那些动物长大的时候，做母亲的要把他们踢出去。我的母亲却一直把我摆在她的身边。看纪录片，小熊长大，母熊一定把它赶出去，而我母亲却一直把我摆在她的身边。我下定决心离开台湾，不是我要到国外追求什么，或是崇洋，绝对不是，我是最喜欢中国文化的，因为里面包含太广，太神秘了。我离开只是想建立自己。去西班牙，去美国或者去英国都不是转折点，而是我离开了父母才是转折点。问：信要写到何处，你才收得到？ 答：我想人有一种很重要的天赋就是“心电感应”，真的。我这次回来收到很多的信，没有回，觉得很抱歉，但是我还是要强调一点，人跟人之间“知心”最重要，信能写的实在太有限。写到哪里？写在你的心里嘛！我会知道的，不要写出来了，你在心里想我，念十遍我就晓得了。所以我说不要写信，彼此心里知道就好，我记得各位，各位也记得我，我不知道我要到哪里去，我要走很多地方。Thanks! 问：如果在这世上再有一个很爱你的人，指的是婚姻关系，你会不会答应？ 答：我有一个很爱的人在我心里，叫荷西。这问题不能说，不可说，不知道。我想百分之九十九点九是“不”，因为我已经有了。 问：你想荷西愿意你继续流浪，还是另找一个归宿？答：这是很私人的问题，我想荷西最主要是希望我幸福，用哪一种形式都不重要。在台北好？还是流浪好？是另外找一个人叫他荷西？我不是刻意流浪，而是我不知道我要到哪里去，我现在住我父母的家，我觉得那不是我的家。我今天出来时，父亲硬塞钱给我坐车，我觉得这情形不可以，不可以这样下去，他昨天发现我皮包里只有一百多块钱，他今天就赶快塞钱给我，我觉得我这样在台北下去，又要依赖我的父母。我不是刻意流浪，我要经过很多地方，是因为机票钱差不多。我不愿意流浪，我希望有一天我能够在另外一种形式的生活安定下来。 （注：耕莘文教院陆达诚神父，在三毛女士演讲后说，演讲前三毛女士通过他捐给一个单位三百五十元美金。三毛虽然自己没有钱用，却把人家给她的稿费捐出去。） 问：你是一位有爱的人，你相不相信有冷酷无情的人？答：世界上有各式各样的人，我也碰过冷酷无情的人，当然相信的。 问：如果你的人生观是“游于艺”，只是玩，那么你认为议论婚姻问题的时候，是否应考虑到年龄、经济、生活方式等现实问题，还是有爱就可以了。 答：我想我的对象是比较单纯的人，因为荷西就是一个大孩子，我在那里学到最好的功课就是在他面前做一个完全的真人。这绝不是说我任性，而是我有一个好丈夫，他一直跟我说，我要你做一个真的人，我不要你做一个假的人。我说可是在别人面前还是假的呀，多多少少总是假的。也许我自己是很干脆的人，所以婚姻是很单纯、很认真的，我们是两个孩子在一起玩扮家家酒，我们没考虑到年龄、经济、生活的差异。婚姻要不要考虑到经济？我是很主观的说话，实在说，我结婚时，只有一个床垫子放在地上，铺块草席，还有四个盘子、四个碗、一个锅，也没有穿白纱，没有花，只有一把芹菜绑在头上，还是走路去结婚的，可是我要告诉各位，我是世界上最快乐的新娘。我的结婚礼物是个骆驼的头骨，也不是古玩店买来的，是捡来的。所以我认为婚姻的条件，当然不能说饿得没有饭吃，但是我相信各位都起码有吃饱的条件。有些女孩觉得有钱，生活比较有保障，这是对的，但我是没有。是不是只要爱就可以了？我想爱和金钱并不相同。有些朋友最近打电话给我一打就是三个小时、四个小时，说她们的爱情故事，我听了之后觉得那不是爱情，我说你过两个月再来跟我讲，看还是不是他。是不是有爱就可以？我要问你，什么才叫爱？也许我是比较老派的人，我希望结婚时，你戴上他给你的戒指，就是你对他的承诺，如果这一桩婚姻是对的，那么我要做你的好妻子，或是好丈夫。婚后会有多少多少的问题，但戴上戒指，心里已有承诺，今生今世，好也好，坏也好，生也好，死也好，爱就来了，这是一条最方便的路。 问：三毛，你为什么这么信神？我很想信，怎么信？ 答：我不知道各位有没有喜欢星象的？冬天的时候，你要我把猎户星、大犬星、小犬星、双子星座、天牛星座、北斗七星画出来，我都可以告诉你，因为我很喜欢天文，但是我读书不够，读到的就是把天上每个星座都弄清楚。各位不信神的话，我没有办法使你们相信，因为我也是一个人。但你去看天上的星，我回来后一直找猎户星，发现一点也不灿烂，找天狼星，因为它是大犬星座最亮的一颗，也不是很亮，台北的星都不是很好看。我问各位，你们看过一朵花没有？随便摘一朵你去看一看，你会发现这就是一个神迹，真的，我不是迷信的人。你看母亲生出来的孩子，她那么爱他，我前几天有一位朋友生了孩子，从年初二到现在完全变了个人，我问她母爱从哪里来的？她说是天生的。什么叫天生的？所以我为什么信神，因为我一天到晚看到神迹，各位可能认为这解释很牵强，我觉得只要用点心，看天地的一切，看动物、母亲，都是神迹，我不能说，没法回答，我相信，因为我看到了。