Chapter 7 Going home, wandering in the clouds, thinking about the setting sun, old feelings

Eucalyptus backyard flower When he hates a person, he is so steadfast and tough, so naturally his kindness is covered by clouds, and he is always invisible.For example, because of people’s love for Ailing, and because of Ailing’s writing of "Whispers", she told her father Zhang Zhiyi and her stepmother, Sun Yongfan, about being beaten and detained by her father when she was young. It seems that she was born to suppress and torture Ai Ling. "Like the Zoroastrian Persians, I forcibly divided the world into two halves, light and darkness, good and evil, gods and demons. What belongs to my father's side must be bad." "It's always afternoon in my father's room, After sitting there for a long time, I feel sinking, sinking." Ailing's melancholy tone is the most authoritative commentary on these views.

But I still don't take it seriously. On the contrary, I think that without Zhang Zhiyi, there would be no Ai Ling's amazing literary talent.Mother Huang Yifan went abroad early, when Ai Ling was only three or four years old, no matter how much nurturing and teaching, it was just like the warm fragrance in memory, which was faint and had no effect.Afterwards, she went back and forth several times, like a yellow crane, and her traces were even more indistinct. During this period, Zhang Zhiyi and Ai Ling always spend a lot of time together.After all, it is his daughter, he encourages her to study, even when Sun Yongfan complained about Ai Ling's love of books, he defended her.

It is conceivable that decades ago, in the dim study room of Zhang Mansion in Shanghai, there was also a warm scene of father and daughter discussing books and papers side by side.He will also be like a serious and gentle father who is slightly surprised and lightly surprised by his daughter's talent.Aileen's novels have had a profound impact, and the lithographs in the family's collection should also be read under his guidance and gradually soaked in them.The foundation he laid for her, like the personality given by Huang Yifan, benefited Ai Ling's life. If my words are not reliable, the words of Ailing's younger brother Zhang Zijing are still credible.

"My father saw that this daughter had a creative talent. Although my father has bad habits, he also loves reading. There are Chinese classical literature and Western novels in his study. When my sister is at home, she is in the study. He also often talked with his father about his feelings about reading. His father encouraged her to write poems and writing; he had already seen that this daughter had a talent for literary creation. Under his guidance, my sister really wrote Some old poems. There are a few poems that my father is very satisfied with, and he will show them to relatives and friends when they visit.

"There was another winter vacation. She cut the paper and wrote it by herself in the form of newspaper supplements at that time. She compiled a supplement with some chores in my family and added some illustrations. My father was very happy to read it. There are relatives When friends come, show them. 'This is a newspaper supplement made by Xiaoying. ' he said triumphantly. "Of course relatives and friends also praised my sister's creative talent." He is as proud as a naive father, hoping that relatives and friends will also praise his daughter's talent.At a certain moment when he discarded the old concept, he was just a father who was full of love for his daughter.He still has the legacy of the children of the aristocratic family. He reads ancient books and composes poems, and Qingfeng Mingyue also knows a lot.The six chapters drafted for Aileen's novel "Modern Dream of Red Mansions" are also quite skillful. "The sound is like a drum drum urging flowers to grow, take Yulian to see the first branch", he also received his praise and encouragement.

Just imagine, he doesn't allow Ailing to study, and he doesn't teach Ailing, no matter how talented she is, how can "Xiaohe just show her sharp corners"? If Ailing is the "Crimson Pearl Grass by the Three Lives Stones", he can't be regarded as Shenying's waiter, at least he can be regarded as a rain that gave her the grace of rain and dew to nurture her.How can he erase all his kindness to her? It's just that his cultivation of Aileen is also limited, which is probably the family tradition of the Zhang family-coexisting contradictoryly with financial shrewdness and stupidity.

Still imprisoned by the old thinking, from his standpoint, maybe Aileen's ability to read and write is already a gift, and the extension school at home is enough, and there is no need to go to the new school. People always grow unbalanced, either advantages or disadvantages, and one of them always emerges.When his vulgarity is higher than his elegance, he is just a son of a declining family, with a flower in the backyard of Yushu, he is unbearable. His lack of excellence made him afraid to accept new things.His inferiority complex made him afraid that Ailing would never return like her mother.He knew that he had no ability to control them, so he could only say: "If you are like your mother, I will break your legs."

He is undoubtedly in love with Huang Yifan, that young, beautiful and intelligent woman.He couldn't keep her, what a failure!He who avoids emotions secretly, naturally hates Ai Ling's emotional bias towards his mother.Only when you lose can you know how to cherish, young and frivolous, dissolute, and don't know how to pity the people in front of you.After she left, she regretted it secretly. He secretly hoped that she was not doing well, so that she might come back and beg for his protection.But that virtuous woman bloomed in a gorgeous posture that he didn't expect, and it filled his eyes - Huang Yifan soon had a lover, Wei Ge, who loved her deeply.

A man's self-esteem and emotions have been suppressed for too long, and he has lost his normal outlet.That's why he beat his daughter emotionally out of control, and even his own sister.Simply offended together. It's probably a psychological substitution for him to detain her!The temper of the daughter has the shadow of his wife.He imprisoned her as a kind of comfort to himself—as if he imprisoned her, tightly grasping the trace of nostalgia in his heart. The bottom of his heart is also pierced, and the pain is unspeakable.Addicted to the couch all day long, surrounded by opium smoke, he may think too much, too many to wake up.The morning dew in life comes and goes in a hurry, and the days are bitter.

From a distance, he is a poor man.Because of Aileen, even a sigh won't win.