Chapter 3 Love

1 The value of love lies in itself, not in its results.The result may be unfortunate, it may be happy, but it will never be the unhappiest and the happiest.In the process of love, there will be the "most" experience and imagination. 2 The right situation is needed for love to happen.They are too familiar with each other, too understanding, without a sense of mystery, it is not easy to fall in love.Of course, if they are too strange and alienated from each other, love cannot occur.The occurrence of love, between being in touch and not being very familiar, has both a sense of mystery and a sense of intimacy, which can not only leave sufficient room for imagination, but also make the attraction to the most satisfactory level.

3 I don't know what love is.All I know is that if that face doesn't make you feel a sweet melancholy, a kind of attachment sadness, then you must not be in love yet. 4 It is often said that love makes a person lose himself.But there is also the opposite: love leads to self-discovery.In front of his lover, who is not suddenly pleasantly surprised to find that he has so many good things that he usually neglects?He longed to give his best to his lover, so he searched, and he found it.The desire to give leads to discovery.If there is no desire to present, it may not be discovered in a lifetime.

5 It is not so much that there is love only when there is understanding, but rather that there is understanding only when there is love.If you love a person, a book, or a work of art, you will ponder over every word and deed of this person, every word of this book, every detail of this work, thinking that you have figured out some profound meaning, so, "Understood". 6 Love is the chemistry of the soul.There is an "affinity" between two people who truly love each other, which is constantly decomposed, combined, and renewed. The greater the "affinity", the more intense and lasting the reaction, and the stronger and stronger the love.

7 The strongest loves have their roots in despair, and the deepest pains have their roots in love. Happiness is difficult.Perhaps, behind true love is deep sadness, and behind modern pleasure-seeking is emptiness.Comparing the two, the former is infinitely higher than the latter. 8 Everything will be bleak in the end, only the days of being gilded by the eyes of love will always shine brightly in the abyss of time. 9 Love and career, the two pursuits of life, are essentially one, and both are ways of self-confirmation.Love is to confirm one's own value through the recognition of a certain opposite sex, and career is to confirm one's own value through social recognition.

10 People voluntarily give up their freedom of will in love, and are forced to give up their freedom of will in marriage.Is sex the natural enemy of free will? 11 Perhaps, love is always intertwined with the opposite of love - hate, or fear.Byron belongs to the former, Goethe to the latter. 12 The love is passionate, but not specific.A gentleman loves single-mindedly, but not passionately.This matter is ancient and difficult.However, occasionally there is a kind of love who loves exclusively, but it is destined that there will be no gentleman who loves passionately. 13 To love someone is to feel sorry for someone.When the love is deep, the potential father or mother will inevitably participate.It's just infatuation, not distressed. This kind of love is only on the senses, and it doesn't go deep into the heart, so it often can't last.

14 All normal people have both needs to love others and to be loved by others.Between lovers, if these two needs cannot be satisfied in the other person at the same time, there is a crisis lurking.The one who is used to being hurt had better not think that you have met a pure father man or a pure mother woman who only wants to love others and does not want to be loved.In this vast universe, who is not an orphan who wants to be loved? 15 To love is to have unnecessary pity for the loved one, and to do unnecessary things: fear that she (or he) will be cold and hungry, worry that she will encounter an accident, and suddenly think about what to do if she dies one day, gently Caress her as if she were sick and fragile china.Love is the urge to be the protector of the beloved, even though such protection may seem unnecessary to others.

16 "I love you." "No, you just like me." She or he said plaintively. "love me?" "I like you." She or he said apologetically. Of all the synonyms, "love" and "like" seem to be weighed the most, and the differences between them are taken most seriously.Men and women are then the most scrupulous linguists. 17 When demarcating love, you might as well be more tolerant, so as to reserve the right to miss all the beautiful encounters in life. Let us admit that no matter the short-term encounter or the long-term entanglement, no matter the helplessness of acquaintance late, or the affection that eventually gets married, no matter the conflict with great passion, or the harmony with small quarrels, all of these are love.The love experience of every living person is not a static monument, but a flowing river.When we look back on the past, we don't have to deny it ourselves, let alone ask the other party to deny any process, a tributary or a wave.

18 Love is beautiful whether it is short or long.Even the fruitless affection between strangers of the opposite sex, a fixed glance, vague excitement, and inexplicable melancholy are also beautiful.Because, the heart that can feel all this is young after all.Life would be too boring without encounters and the anticipation of encounters.One of the presuppositions of the charm of life is that new love possibilities are always open to you, even if you don't realize them. 19 I don't believe that a person can only love once in a lifetime, and I don't believe that a person must love many times in a lifetime.The number of times does not explain the problem.The capacity of love is the capacity of a person's heart.You are a deep valley, one love is like a river, many loves are like many waves.You are the shallows, one love is but a trickle, and many loves are but many bubbles.

20 Don't judge life by success or failure, and don't judge love by success or failure. Most of the love in reality is a failure, either because of the helplessness of being difficult to get married, or because of the boredom of eventually getting married.However, the helplessness left an eternal nostalgia, and the boredom inspired Chang Xin's pursuit. This may not be the success of love itself. After all, love is beyond success or failure.Love is the most beautiful dream in life, can you say you had a successful dream or a failed dream? twenty one Love is not only an adventure in the world of the opposite sex, which brings surprises of discovery, but also a settlement with a certain opposite sex, which brings the peace of home.But exploration is not novelty hunting, and settlement is not possession.Rather, a good love is the free and easy way that both parties regard freedom as the highest gift, and the cherishment of never abusing this freedom.

twenty two There is an infinite distance between the admirer and the admired, and love is the impulse to complete this distance.Once it's over, love is over. In comparison, love based on mutual appreciation is much more secure.In this case, the distance is originally limited, and both parties are willing to keep it, thus forming an elastic field. twenty three Sex is the driving force behind the love of life.A person who does not love the opposite sex at all cannot love life. twenty four People are like this: if the one you love must be lost, you would rather give it to God or the devil than to others.

25 Just as the lover exaggerates his happiness, so the lovelorn exaggerates his pain. In the pain of falling out of love, the frustration of self-esteem accounts for a large proportion. 26 I love her, she has become my everything, and the whole world seems to disappear except her. So, once I lose her, do I lose everything? No.On the contrary, the whole world unfolded before me again.I got everything back. 27 Those who have never lost love do not understand love, and those who have never been frustrated do not understand life. 28 You can't see the situation when I love you the most, because I love you the most when I can't see you. 29 Love is the most beautiful dream in life.If the dream is analyzed with a rational blade, even the most beautiful dream will lose its beauty.Freud's analysis of dreams and sexual consciousness has destroyed the poetry of many lives.Of course, there is another situation: life itself has shattered the dream. At this time, rational reflection on the dream and recognition of its beauty and illusion are actually a means of liberation.I believe this is the case with Maugham. 30 The distance between heart and heart is the closest and the farthest. Come to the world for a while, be attracted and intoxicated by the few hearts, and leave in a hurry without being satisfied or bored in time, leaving a little bit of confusion in the world. 31 "The meaning of life lies in love." "No, the question of the meaning of life is unsolvable. The advantage of love is that it makes people unable to understand this question." 32 Appetite causes the primary revolution, sexual desire the higher revolution. 33 All infatuation is based on illusion, all understanding involves misunderstanding, all loyalty expects reward, and all sacrifice is conditional.