This year I will publish my collection of essays, a total of fourteen volumes, not including the past and the present.Mr. Cao Gang, who designed the cover, decorated each volume with a word. He chose "Great Wind" Rising clouds and flying upwards, Vega at home and returning home, An De warriors guarding all directions." This is Liu Bang's poem, twenty-three characters. In an instant feeling, I immediately knew that I would be able to write twenty-three words in my life. Three volumes. It should be the sixteenth volume, which is my last novel in this century. After finishing writing at the end of the century, I am already a very middle-aged person.People have their own birth year, and almost every Chinese is panic-stricken in their own birth year. Similarly, the movement of heaven and earth also has its periodicity. We cannot know what happened at the end of the century in the past, but in recent years, global Frequent wars, riots, famines, plagues, droughts and floods, earthquakes, serious accidents and financial crises have made the entire human race restless.The mood of the end of the century hangs over the world, and I happen to be in middle age.Middle age is the most emaciated stage of life. One needs to take care of the elderly, one needs to take care of one’s children, one has to work in a unit, and one has a personal career. There are a lot of people’s heads on the shoulders, but the body is very fast. decay.After going through all kinds of things that people can endure (except going to jail), I am confident that I am a strong man, and I have also begun to believe in fate. I always feel that the script of my life has been written by someone, and I just go on one by one. During the performance, laughter sounded softly from somewhere.It is no longer regarded as a negative world view, and it is no longer something to be mystified. The changes in the world can be seen step by step, and Jingzheng is born with the body.Morning and night, I looked up at the sky, as if it was all in the sky, and squatted down to see the bustling things on the ground, and all the styles were in it.One evening at the beginning of the year, when the clouds were flying low, I went out to do some work. When I was about to step on the ground, I suddenly saw a worm wriggling under my feet, but my feet were out of control due to inertia. Go down and trample it to death.I stood there, mourning for a long time, regretting my unintentional harm, but for a moment I thought how much this bug is like us human beings. This bug is living happily or sadly, and suddenly it is trampled to death. What kind of disaster is this?That night, I was sitting in the study, thinking about the thoughts of the bugs, and the TV was showing the footage of Tibetan mountain people praying to the gods. I realized that there are no gods and devils in this world at all. Yes, the reason why all kinds of strange events happened, there are more ancient ones than modern ones, more rural ones than urban ones, outlying ones than inland ones, is all due to the force of nature.Small things like this, and revelations of such small things, happened almost constantly in my middle age, and my world view gradually changed during middle age.I once wrote something like this in a short article: After Tao is established, virtue will be repositioned.Therefore, regarding literature, I was also amazed by the changes in my judgment standards and aesthetic tastes.When I used to read "Chu Ci" and "Ulysses", what I admired was their sentiment and writing style, their whimsy and beauty, but I couldn't understand how they wrote Such works.Now that I pick it up again and read it again, I am no longer interested in extracting wonderful sentences and paragraphs from it. What moves me is not the surface of the text, but the soul of the writer outside the work or hidden behind the text!Occasionally one day, I saw a couplet, in which

The second and second couplets are: "A crane sees the spirit in the blue sky", I burst into tears, I finally understand that the spirit of the crane comes from the blue sky!Looking back, some of the works that fascinated me have gone away from me. Although those superficial things have been sensationalized by speculators and lively by everyone, I am no longer deceived and deceived.For the overall.totally.The vigorous and lively pursuit made me lose more and more the beauty, freshness and gorgeousness of the form in the past.I am from Shangzhou, Shaanxi. Shangzhou now belongs to the Northwest Territory, but it was attributed to the Chu Kingdom in history. As I walked along and gradually became smaller and smaller, I also understood how I developed my rough and boundless, and the agility in the rough and boundless is inevitable.I am also confident that when I first read and read, I immediately had a sense of correspondence, and I did not lack their writing style and interest, but the block in their chests was only understood by me in the middle age at the end of the century.I have lost some of my original readers. Their departure makes me sad and happy. I have to transform my readers, conquer them and attract them.My reorientation of my writing and my re-understanding of the famous novels I have read are based on my age and rich experience. Not everyone can deeply understand the feeling of the times and the feeling of life. Even if you experience it, you can only experience the second step when you stand on the first step, instead of experiencing the fourth and fifth steps from the first step.Today, when the shadow of the end of the century lingers, boys and girls are singing about the melancholy of their youth. In fact, they don’t have much worry. Up, all they care about is themselves and their families.When the strong wind blows, all the plants and trees will sway, but the sound of the bell still travels through the space in a long and soothing manner. The old monk is old, he did not hang himself from the beam, nor was he angry, he said something that everyone could understand Common sayings.

After writing, many acquaintances and strangers met me, always asking me what I wrote again?What can I write? For a long time, the countryside of Shangzhou and the towns of Xi’an have been my writing bases. I can’t write historical romance stories, nor can I write future science fiction. Such novels belong to others. My complex is always in the contemporary.My background and the environment in which I live determine my civilian status and the folk perspective of my writing. It is my bounden duty to care for and worry about the current China.But I have a fatal weakness, which is as if I am not born to be an official (although I still have an official title). I am not a realistic writer, but I should be counted as a poet.I mentioned my thinking about novels piecemeal in many articles, especially in the postscript of the novel, but unfortunately, few people responded to me after several years.This made me a little frustrated, but it also made me calm down quickly, because in the current literary world, the hot spot is not in the concept of novels, no one has noticed me, and I have been shrouded in smoke since then, and I cannot let others approach.Now that I am writing, the materials are still from Shangzhou and Xi’an, but I am definitely not writing about Shangzhou and Xi’an. I have never admitted that what I write is about Shangzhou and Xi’an in the sense of administrative management. By extension, I am even more opposed to dividing the subject matter into rural and urban or even various industries.No matter what subject matter I write, it is a carrier for me to create my fictional world, and the fictional world above the carrier is my authenticity.What I want to be grateful for all my life is that I live in Shangzhou and Xi'an. The typical folk traditional culture of Shangzhou and the official traditional culture of Xi'an gave birth to my quality as a writer, and the longer I immerse myself in traditional culture, the more Knowing the pain that traditional culture has brought me, the more I hate its various harms.

I was born in 1952, which happened to be in the second half of the 20th century. I have experienced political movements and poverty that suffocated people's lives time after time. Until now, the country is reforming and facing another era of rapid progress.A friend of mine once told me that he was the most receptive to modernization during the reform era. He bought a new house, bought various household appliances, and computers, VCDs, and motorcycles, but these things were all The first-generation and second-generation products manufactured by people in traditional culture have quality problems every three days, which makes him suffer a lot from repairs.How come I haven't experienced his suffering? I'm afraid everyone feels deeply.How can literature not be affected by the imprint of the times?I may not be considered a fashionable person, I silently applauded and wished for the actions of those pioneers, but it is easier for me to know what is lacking in us, how to take over the advanced things from the West and how to use them, the great May 4th The great people in the movement and the May Fourth Movement gave me many experiences and lessons.I am slowly.I pushed my chariot every step of the way, no matter how many difficulties I encountered, how many ridicules I received, or even misunderstandings and blows, my advantage was that I still left without turning around.Life is like a huge swamp, but the spirit is rising day by day, looking forward to a flower emerging from the water.

There are still a group of humble people at the lowest level of society, and they are still trivial matters.I am familiar with such people and this kind of life, and I can write with my heart and my hands.Why is the writing so written? There is no structure at first glance and no gorgeous skills. It loses the beauty and clarity of the past. It comes in disorder and leaves in a blur. The soup is sticky. This is due to the change in my concept of novel .My novels are increasingly unable to answer what I write in a few sentences. My original intention is to ask me to write the flow of life as original as possible. The more realistic the writing, the better, but on the whole I try my best to publicize my image .It is easy for people to misread such a work. If you only read the real side, the trivial description of life will make you tired and boring, and often provoke accusations of being sublime, but you only talk about the false side. , People with insufficient experience don't know what to say.The reason why I insist on my way of writing is that I believe that novels are neither stories nor purely formal word games. My shortcoming is that my soul energy is not strong enough, the tolerance to perceive the world is not enough, and the work of combining metaphysics and metaphysics has not been done yet. it is good.In middle age, people have lost their will to strive for victory, calm down and do their own things steadfastly, do what they want, and do it freely. After all, I still have seven books to write.Mr. Shen Congwen wrote in his book: "He may come back tomorrow, or he may never come back." I paraphrase his words, and I place my hope on the seventeenth volume of my book, or on the twenty-fourth volume. rolled up.