Chapter 11 lilac girl

When I was young, I used to look forward to a love that lasts forever, and a love that lasts forever.However, after becoming mature, I have already understood that the highest state of love in the world of mortals is apart from life and death promises, unforgettable memories, and mutual support. In fact, holding hands and being with each other is also a supreme state. Dai Wangshu (March 5, 1905-February 28, 1950), a modern poet, also known as "Rain Lane Poet", was a Chinese modernist symbolist poet.Originally named Dai Chaoan, also known as Dai Mengou, pen names Ai Angfu, Jiang Si, etc.Born in Hangzhou County, Zhejiang Province (now Yuhang District, Hangzhou City).His pen name comes from Qu Yuan's "Li Sao": "Wang Shu in the front is the pioneer, and Fei Lian in the back is the genus." It means that Qu Yuan went to heaven and earth to roam and search, sitting in a car brought by a dragon horse, and the moon god Wang Shu in front of him. Open the way, followed by Fengshen Feilian as a follower.Wang Shu is the god who drives the moon for the moon in myths and legends. She is beautiful, gentle, pure and elegant.

Dai Wangshu once went to France to study and was greatly influenced by French Symbolist poets. Dai Wangshu was only 45 years old when he died.This modernist poet has never had a perfect love affair in his life.Although there were two marriages later, what he could never forget in his heart was his first love—the woman named Shi Jiangnian. Dai Wangshu knew Shi Jiangnian because of her elder brother Shi Zhecun.Shi Zhecun was the editor-in-chief of "Modern" magazine at that time, and he and Dai Wangshu were good friends.At first, Dai Wangshu's poems were not favored by the world, but later Shi Zhecun advocated Dai Wangshu's poems in the "Modern" magazine, and spoke highly of his poems as modern poems, which once led to the emergence of the "Crescent School" in the poetry circle that was popular at that time Completely opposite poetry.

With such a relationship, Dai Wangshu was often invited to live in Shi's house.There, he met Shi Jiangnian, Shi Zhecun's younger sister.Shi Jiangnian was studying in a middle school in Shanghai at that time, with a lively and cheerful personality.Dai Wangshu was attracted by this lively and beautiful girl.When his first collection of poems "My Memory" was published, he wrote an inscription on the title page of the poem and gave it to Shi Jiangnian, boldly confessing his love to her.But when Shi Jiangnian was young, he had more respect and admiration for Dai Wangshu.She was five or six years younger than him, and she didn't think much of Dai Wangshu's poems. Even when she saw the passionate poems he wrote to her, she was not moved, but more curious.Dai Wangshu often compares Shi Jiangnian to Lilac girl, the girl she loves most in life.It's a pity that the sky fails to fulfill people's wishes.

Shi Jiangnian's indifference made Dai Wangshu miserable and lived like a year.Once, Dai Wangshu finally couldn't bear the torment of love, so he wooed Shi Jiangnian by committing suicide by jumping off a building. These extreme actions of Dai Wangshu finally made Shi Jiangnian start to face up to his feelings.She reluctantly agreed to get engaged to him first, but then put forward such a condition: he must go abroad to pursue a degree, and only then can he have a stable income when he comes back. For a hard-won love, Dai Wangshu was a little reluctant but had to study in France.During that time in France, Dai Wangshu didn't have much time to study.In Paris for a year, he hardly went to listen to a lecture given by the professor, but hid in the dormitory every day to translate manuscripts in exchange for living expenses.At this time, Shi Zhecun, who was far away in China, mailed Dai Wangshu his salary as living expenses.And what about Shi Jiangnian?After she separated from Dai Wangshu, it is said that she fell in love with a salesman and had a hot fight.Of course Shi Zhecun knew all this, but how could he tell Dai Wangshu?However, good things don't go out, and bad things travel thousands of miles. The bad news spread quickly, and Dai Wangshu heard about it in a foreign country not long after.In this way, he is sometimes like an ant on a hot pot, unable to calm down, let alone study.He didn't get any degree abroad, but he translated a lot of manuscripts.He finally couldn't bear to go back to China, and found Shi Jiangnian. When he learned that all this was true, he couldn't control his anger, and even slapped Shi Jiangnian in front of Shi's parents. The eight-year relationship between them ended.

In order to get rid of the loneliness and worries accumulated in his heart, Dai Wangshu started to have close contacts with his friends Liu Na'ou, Mu Shiying and Du Heng. Those friends all knew that Dai Wangshu had lost his love and was extremely depressed, but they didn't know how to make him happy and forget his sorrow.Mu Shiying thought: emotional things may need to be healed, so she told Dai Wangshu that Shi Zhecun's younger sister is nothing special, and my younger sister is much prettier than his, do you want to meet her? Dai Wangshu was disheartened at first and had no hope, but when he saw Mu Shiying's younger sister, Mu Lijuan, he was surprised.Mu Lijuan has a docile personality and feels much prettier than Shi Jiangnian.

Although Mu Lijuan graduated from junior high school and has a low education, she likes literature and is greatly influenced by her brother. She likes to read some novels and poems, and she admires poets very much.She had read Dai Wangshu's poems before, and never thought that one day she would meet such a great poet as him.This made Mu Lijuan very excited. Dai Wangshu's relationship with Mu Lijuan was not for love at first, but to make himself forget Shi Jiangnian completely. After getting acquainted with each other, Mu Lijuan was invited by Dai Wangshu to copy manuscripts at home.In Dai Wangshu's rented house, Mu Lijuan often helped Dai Wangshu copy manuscripts until late at night.In the process of transcribing the manuscript, Mu Lijuan often asked Dai Wangshu for advice, and sometimes discussed it. In this way, their relationship became deeper and more harmonious.

In 1936, Dai Wangshu held a grand wedding with Mu Lijuan in a hotel in Shanghai.Not long after the sweet wedding, Mu Lijuan discovered that the poet's life was not as romantic as she had imagined at the beginning. Dai Wangshu reads books every day, rarely speaks, boring and lonely.At that time, Mu Lijuan was not yet 20 years old, and with a child, she was with the busy Dai Wangshu all day long, and she was not used to such a depressing life. What makes Mu Lijuan feel uncomfortable is Dai Wangshu's words for "First Love Girl": You lead me into a dream, but I forget you in other dreams. Now I am watering the roses every day, but let You Orchid withered.

The widespread singing of this poem made Mu Lijuan even more sad.In the words of Dai Wangshu's niece, Mu Lijuan thinks that Youlan refers to Shi Jiangnian, which is exactly what he thinks in his heart, Mu Lijuan is a rose, the kind with thorns. In 1939, "World War II" broke out in an all-round way.In order to take refuge, Dai Wangshu moved to Hong Kong from Shanghai with his family.After coming to Hong Kong, Dai Wangshu quickly became a core figure in the Hong Kong literary world, which made him even busier.Being busy makes Dai Wangshu more and more silent in front of Mu Lijuan, while Mu Lijuan's need for affection is almost ignored.

The emotional crisis between Mu Lijuan and Dai Wangshu was detonated by two things in this troubled world. In June 1940, Mu Lijuan's elder brother Mu Shiying was assassinated and killed by Kuomintang agents in Shanghai, but Dai Wangshu refused to let Mu Lijuan return to Shanghai for the funeral.What is even more incomprehensible is that when Mu Lijuan's mother died of illness, Dai Wangshu withheld the funeral telegram from Shanghai and did not tell Mu Lijuan.Mu Lijuan didn't know that her mother had died of illness and was playing with her daughter in a red dress, or that a friend told her the sad news.

For this reason, Mu Lijuan was very angry, and hurriedly took her daughter back to Shanghai by boat.Her mother had already passed away, and Mu Lijuan was very sad that she could not see her for the last time. When Mu Lijuan was in Shanghai, recalling the years she spent with Dai Wangshu, she felt it was too painful.There is no more love between them. For the 23-year-old Mu Lijuan, the long years to come will be really difficult.At this time, Mu Lijuan already had the intention of leaving. Dai Wangshu didn't expect the matter to be so serious, until Mu Lijuan wrote him a divorce letter, he still didn't want to believe it.

Dai Wangshu hurried back to Shanghai and begged Mu Lijuan to go back to Hong Kong with him, but Mu Lijuan naturally refused.Coincidentally, when she was in Shanghai, Mu Lijuan encountered another new relationship. A college student admired her very much, pursued her enthusiastically, often sent her flowers, and talked sweetly.With the comparison, Mu Lijuan suddenly understood that love can also be like this, that a man can come and give her flowers every day, and she is so valued and cherished in her heart.With the comparison, there is no hope for Dai Wangshu. After Dai Wangshu returned to Hong Kong, in a lonely late night, he wrote a death letter.Dai Wangshu committed suicide and was rescued by his friends again in a critical situation. Mu Lijuan heard about Dai Wangshu's suicide, but she didn't show any expression, not even surprised.She couldn't figure out why Dai Wangshu could write such romantic and touching poems, but behaved so taciturn and dull in life?Or does he not love her after all, his love has been deeply buried by Shi Jiangnian? Mu Lijuan doesn't want to look back anymore, she will never look back.Later, Dai Wangshu married another woman, Yang Jing, who was 26 years younger than him, but within a few years, Yang Jing abandoned him.In Dai Wangshu's life, women are different, but the ending is so similar.Maybe it can be explained as a kind of fate, but who can say it clearly? Those women who met him loved him, worshiped him, and admired him at first, thinking that they could enjoy all the romance and care when they were with him, and they could enjoy the romance in the world like a fairy, but they didn't realize that he was a workaholic at all. , Live the kind of ruthless stereotyped life.Loneliness and loneliness eventually scare away every woman around him. It's a pity that Dai Wangshu committed suicide several times before and after, but love still turned into a pool of stagnant water, without any waves. In 1949, Dai Wangshu returned to the mainland to work as a translator in the French section of the International Information Bureau, and died of asthma in 1950. Insights on life: What should women do in the face of those workaholics?Is it to endure alone, or is Hong Xing out of the wall?Perhaps each has its own reasons, and it is impossible to judge which is right and which is wrong. Those who are clear will be clear, and those who are turbid will be turbid. As long as you have a clear conscience, even the biggest consequences must be borne by yourself.