"Life and death are inseparable, enjoy each other with your son. Hold your hand, and grow old together with your son." This is the calmness of love. "The most romantic thing I can think of is to grow old with you. Collect the little things from the beginning, and save them to chat with you later." This is the calmness of marriage. "I am a fox who has practiced for thousands of years. I have been practicing for thousands of years and I am alone for thousands of years. In the dead of night, can anyone hear me crying; in dimly lit places, can anyone see me dancing?... When I love you, you are penniless and studying hard; When I left you, you were enlisting the wedding candle on the gold list. Can I have another dance for you? I am the white fox you released thousands of years ago..." This is the calmness after a broken love.

"There are flowers in spring and moon in autumn, cool wind in summer and snow in winter. If you have nothing to worry about, it is a good time in the world." This is the calmness of world affairs. "Don't be surprised by favor or disgrace, watch the flowers bloom and fall in front of the court; go or stay without intention, look at the clouds rolling in the sky." When things come, the gentleman’s mind begins to emerge, and when things go, the mind follows emptiness." This is the calmness of life. "Put green seedlings in the rice fields with your hands, and you will see the sky in the water when you look up. The way is the way with a pure heart, and it turns out that going backwards is moving forward." This is the calmness of people.

What is calmness?Calmness is your indifference, your detachment, and your insight. Nine out of ten unsatisfactory things in life;In the past, Han Shan asked Shide: "There are people in the world who slander me, deceive me, humiliate me, laugh at me, belittle me, despise me, and lie to me. How should I deal with it?" Shide replied: "Tolerate him, let him, avoid him, let him , be patient with him, respect him, ignore him, and watch him in a few years.” Such an attitude is calm. It is really difficult for a person to break free from this noisy and materialistic society.However, everyone has no choice, if you want to be happy, you must have a calm mind.Only by being calm can you calm down your heart and savor the myriad flavors of life.

How to be calm?Let me tell a story first. There is a woman who has no background, no beauty, no sharpness, and no cuteness, but she is the most popular and de facto master of a large family. Who is she?She is the owner of Genji Rokujoin Summer Palace in Hanasanli written by Japanese novelist Murasaki Shikibu. What great figures live in the other three palaces!In contrast, Huasanli Fanghua no longer has an ordinary appearance, but she is the only one who has accompanied Genji to the end.why? The Palace of Spring——Zi Ji, unparalleled in beauty and extremely favored. Autumn Palace - Empress Qiuhao, the adopted daughter of Genji, with a strong background.

The Winter Palace——Akashi Ji, beautiful and intelligent, gave birth to a son. Because she is generous and tolerant, considerate, has strong understanding and quick response; she has a submissive temperament, is not jealous, and does not ask for too much.She doesn't care how many lovers Genji has, and opens her arms to give selfless love when Genji needs it. Not long after moving into Liujoin, Hua Sanli offered not to have sex with Genji. Genji has never forgotten Huasanli, and has always given him love and trust.It can be said that among the many women around Genji, Huasanli is the most trustworthy person, so Genji successively handed over two children to Huasanli to raise.

Genji often went to the summer palace to find flowers, and the two slept on separate couches, talking all night long.This is the only place where Genji can speak freely without any scruples, and it is the only person who can make Genji feel at ease just by talking. The author of the novel said: "He (Genji) feels that his love is long, and the stability in Huasanli is satisfactory and very gratifying." This is indeed a calm woman. Calmness is not mediocrity, it is an attitude to life, a state of life, indisputable wisdom, not being surprised by favor or humiliation, and a pursuit of a simple life.

A calm woman is wise, smart and elegant. In our time, there is a great need for "calmness".Each of us needs this kind of mentality, so that we can be calm in life, not too excited to get carried away, and not too sad to be overwhelmed with pain. The great talent Su Dongpo was originally a Hanlin University scholar, but because of political reasons, his friends kept away from him.After experiencing all kinds of disasters in his life, he finally realized that the real taste of life is "light".He said: "Don't listen to the sound of the forest beating leaves, why not scream and walk slowly. Bamboo sticks and straw shoes are light than horses, who is afraid? A cloud of mist and rain can be your life." After tasting all the tastes, you will know the splendor of light. , you know that a bowl of porridge and a piece of tofu seem to have no taste, but this taste is the deepest taste in life.

In life, we always have too many complaints, too much imbalance, too much dissatisfaction, just like a spoiled child, always asking for life.The more you have, the more you worry about losing.Once many things in life are lost, we cannot find them. Sometimes happiness is like sand in the palm of your hand, the tighter you hold it, the faster you lose it.Sometimes happiness is like the flowers on the other side, faintly visible but untouchable.There is no real right or wrong, let alone too much enmity and hatred, why not look down on all this?Perhaps those who give their sincerity may not be able to get their sincerity back, but you don't need to regret it, and it is a good thing to have a peaceful heart.Maybe tomorrow is still unknown, but it doesn't matter, I believe that tomorrow will not be the worst, and I believe that God is fair to everyone.

There is a little humor that is very interesting: "Huang Zhong followed Liu Bei at 60, Tokugawa Ieyasu fought the world at 70, Jiang Ziya became prime minister at 80, Taijun She took command at 100, Monkey King went to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures at 500, and Bai Suzhen went down the mountain to fall in love at 1,000. Young man, what do you say you are in a hurry for?" Friends, please slow down your pace.In this chaotic, materialistic and lively world, where is your spiritual home? People should live poetically.You are only living for your own rich and noble spiritual world.Maybe you can't do it, but you can keep your calm.

Some desires you can restrain, some disputes you can give in, some people you can alienate, some things you can refuse, some criticisms and praises you can disdain... If you don't believe me, try it, you won't lose anything. editor October 2010