Chapter 23 2004/12/20

Then there is me. My brother and I secretly drove to Taoyuan to attend grandma's first seven nights. I thought a lot about "home". Home is actually a very selfish concept. On the surface, it seems that everyone is sharing love, but it is limited to blood relationship or care under one roof, dense, compressed, and warm. This kind of "selfishness" is not bad, because before people learn to care for others, family selfishness can make a person be loved and filled with love in the most efficient way.Then learn to love people. But I have not been a selfish person since I was a child.

The fear of disappointing others has long been a very desirable part of my personality.If possible, I always want everyone I care about to feel that I am trying my best to give everyone happiness or support. If I can't, I will feel very owed and will look for opportunities to make up. However, it is impossible to owe nothing.I can only work hard to toss myself, make the debt less, and let the sacrifice become myself.This kind of sacrifice is not great, because when a person thinks he is making a sacrifice, there must be someone silently accompanying him in the sacrifice. After thinking a lot, I fell asleep in a very empty state.I returned to Banqiao the next afternoon and started packing everything back to Changhua as planned.

In the evening, it is a precious date with Shaggy Dog.We have become a poor couple who see each other once every two weeks. But from the first time I saw Shaggy Dog under Shin Kong Mitsukoshi in front of the agreed Taipei Main Station, I felt that there was a wall between the two of them that was not easy to get close to.The barrier hair also felt it, but the two couldn't break it, so they had to continue the suffocating atmosphere. I don't think it is necessary to explain the love part too clearly, because outsiders may not be able to appreciate the sweetness and bitterness in it, as well as the sense of powerlessness in the face of structural difficulties.So I will not explicitly state the many practical considerations that will follow.

After a hastily eaten terrible dinner, according to my sweet agreement to win the million dollar novel award, I gave Mao a just diamond necklace, which was the most expensive gift I had ever given, even more expensive than what I gave three months ago Mao's ipod mini is also expensive. But Mao didn't look happy, and I continued to be bored. The two sat on the long chairs at the corner of the stairs in the department store, discussing Mom's illness and why we had become unhappy. "Grandpa, close your eyes." Mao said, there is a gift for me. I obeyed, and then opened.

On the palm, is a Bruce Lee rubber key ring. Suddenly I couldn't help myself, I cried, and the tears have been unable to stop for more than 20 hours since then. I'm glad that Mao still remembers the things I like by this time. "Mao, it's fine." I stopped crying and stared at Mao's face. Yes, it works. The love between us is enough. "Why did it become like this?" Mao cried, but did not object. Before explaining clearly, there was a sad tacit understanding between us. "Didn't you see? The red line between us is broken." I burst into tears and began to talk about the very realistic reasons why we can no longer be together.

Mao loves me very much, very, very much.But Mao was selfish. I love fur very much, very, very much.But I am selfish. Mao should be, it's time to relax and talk about a close relationship.For seven years, our days of running back and forth are coming to an end.Mao's hard work during this period was far greater than mine. These days, Mao is practicing her concept of love with incredible action.As for me, I haven't been a soldier yet, and the space-time distance of love can never be shortened. It's time for me to concentrate on taking care of my mother.In the farther future, the distance between me and this home will have to be even closer.

This distance is very selfish and tearing.Just when I loved Mao the most, the problem of the transformation of "love" between the two appeared.But no one is right or wrong. "We formed a good relationship, and we don't owe anyone. In the next life, let us repay each other." I closed my eyes. Make a fist and put it lightly on your heart. Then move it to Mao's heart. "In the next life, if you work hard to be with me." Mao cried. We agreed that we would still be good friends in the future and watch movies together, because this is a rare common interest; we would discuss my new story together so that Mao would not become stupid; It still has to be called "puma".

Underneath the department store, we couldn't hold back any longer and hugged each other tightly. At a nearby car sale, the old English song "Let it be" was played loudly.The very appropriate background music is like the last, most romantic and tear-jerking scene in every love movie. "I really love you, I really love you... In this world, the people I love the most are you and my mother..." I burst into tears. "Grandpa, if your mother gets better, you must try hard to chase me back." Mao cried loudly, his whole body trembling. Mao accepted my last blessing.Under the music of "yesyerday", we left holding hands.

The wall in the middle disappeared. "There is no happier breakup than this." I said, and Mao agreed. We went back to the rented house in Banqiao together, packed up our things, and examined the memories of the past. Even though the breakup was happy, both of them were so sad, crying until their eyes were swollen. It wasn't until two o'clock in the night that I helped Mao dig out his ears for the last time on the bed, and Mao fell asleep crying tired. Six years and ten months of love and nostalgia mean a lot to each other, accompany each other in the best period of growth in life, and jointly draw the map of life contained in the three words "together".

together. But we can no longer be together. So full of love.A love that will last forever in this life. I am terrified of forgetting things that used to be important.Many friends mistakenly believe that I have an extraordinary memory. I know many things that happened when I was a child, and I can even recite the conversations and situations at that time. But it was wrong, very wrong. It's not that I have a good memory, but I often recall, and I often replay those pictures that I can't let go of in my mind.So it's really hard to forget. But Mao was naive and had a bad memory.In the past, when talking about interesting things that happened in the past, I often asked me to add the situation, and then Mao suddenly realized.

"Leave it to me to remember the bits and pieces between us. I will keep it very well." I said, there is no other way. Early in the morning, when Mao went to teach at school, I was alone on the bed, thinking about the ups and downs of things around me after my mother fell ill, and many of the coincidences. I have always agreed with Mao to give her a diamond necklace that she wanted very much, even though I would rather give other equally expensive electronic products instead; on the eve of breaking up, Mao's wish came true by accident. Since I was in junior high school, I have often passed the coffee shop "Colour Moment" near Minsheng Elementary School by bicycle. The exterior of the shop is made of white stone, which is very beautiful. At night, you can still see the warm yellow light shining through the glass. It must be The atmosphere must be very romantic.At that time, I made a wish that I would drink afternoon tea with the girl I liked the most in my life, but I couldn’t do it because everyone left me in a mess.I finally met Mao, but when Mao visited Changhua several times, I actually forgot about it. It wasn’t until Mao came to visit my mother in Changhua two weeks ago that I suddenly remembered that I had never even gone in with Mao by bicycle. Love moment, dream come true. The dream came true, and it was time to end. Thinking of this makes it hard to fall back asleep. In 2004, there were too many bad and good things.Emotionally, he was separated from Mao, his grandmother died of cancer, A Tuo died unexpectedly, and his mother fell ill.In terms of creation, I wrote a script for the first time, refused to write a script for the first time, sold four adaptations of the original works, published them in simplified form, and won the Million Dollar Novel Award... Difficult in every possible way, I sent a text message to Mao: "My heart is empty, but you have the key to my heart. If you are free, welcome to stay for a few days. Be with a man who can get happiness just by saying your name. " Mao sent back a text message from the school: "You will always be in my heart, and I will always be by your side. Hugs, it rains so hard, help me cry all... You are the one who loves me the most, I understand. Light This is enough to be happy! I love you, love you so much..." The really happy person has always been me. After packing the last box, I wrote a letter and put it on the table, leaving three things behind. fur: I want to leave these three things to you, and I hope you can hide them secretly. A swimming ticket that has not been completed.Don't forget who taught you to breathe and called you little turtle. An ear loquat, how much tenderness and company I dig out, I will always remember that you like to dig it. Finally, it is my student ID card from Jiaotong University. It was a lot of time to keep each other warm. It bought dozens of movie tickets for Zhongzheng Hall of Jiaotong University. I have been to the library and Jizhong thousands of times, and bought a lot of student tickets at the cinema in Zhubei. That is the common map of you and me, not my world alone. It's not my world alone, it's never been my world alone. I will never forget anything important in the past, Whenever I hug last night's pillow and close my eyes, Your smell, your fatness, your lovely laugh, will appear in my dreams. I love you much. When you start to forget the memory between us, just remember this is enough. father-in-law The poor boy who always waved vigorously after the Hsinchu bus