Chapter 36 dirty talk and gossip

In fact, when "decent" men and women express their "righteous indignation" and "innocence" against "adulterant men and women", parade them in public, attack and insult them, almost all of them have forgotten an ancient Chinese idiom and There is an old saying, which is "to hide the truth" and "there is no silver three hundred taels here". Indeed, when a person has to actively try to say that he does not have a certain idea, it is often in fact proved in turn that he actually has a certain idea, and it is very strong.If he really didn't have such an idea, then he wouldn't even think about it, and of course, he wouldn't even think about confessing.For example, when did you see a Chinese farmer confess to people two or three times that he didn't want to be the president of the United States?of course not.There are only two situations that need to be confessed: one is that you really have this idea, and the other is that others believe that you have this idea.So, the Chinese are so keen to confess themselves when catching an adulterer. Doesn’t it just prove that they themselves have the idea of ​​adultery and adultery, and because of this, they suspect that others are “same hot and cold”?

In fact, this is also an "open secret". The reason is also very simple: people are so proactive in catching rape, and flocking to see rape shows that people are interested in it.If you're not interested, you won't even watch it.People who have no interest in art will not go to art exhibitions, people who have no interest in science will not go to experiments, and people who have no interest in sex will certainly not go to catch rape.In this sense, it can be said that the interest in catching rape is actually the interest in sex. The generation of sexual interest is actually a very natural thing. "Human beings are not plants, how can one be ruthless", this "love" actually includes sex and sexual love.The ancients said: "Food and sex are also sexual." That is to say, appetite and sexual desire are human nature and instinct.However, in traditional Chinese society, the status of food (diet) and sex (sex) is not equal.People can never tire of fine food, sweet meat, taste all kinds of flavors, and eat all over the world, but they can't put sex on the table in a grand manner, they can only sneak around behind their backs.There's nothing wrong with being sneaky, and after all, making love can't be as grandiose as eating.However, the problem is that "eating" that can be discussed publicly is actually a matter of "doing" (cooking and eating), while "sex" that cannot be discussed publicly is precisely a "thing that people talk about." .As the French scholar Michel.Foucault pointed out in his famous "History of Sexuality" that no matter whether sex is refined or vulgar, it has to be transformed into language and spoken out.In fact, in an era when sex has to be suppressed, "talking" is also a kind of catharsis, and it is a mild catharsis that causes the least harm to society.Therefore, in almost all ethnic groups in the world, we can see the practice of using "speaking" to express sex.In the Christian world, it may be mainly a "confession" to God in a secret room, while in China, it is mainly manifested as "gossip" in the fields, teahouses and alleys.

Chinese people love to gossip, especially gossip about the relationship between men and women. What is "gossip"?Saying is what people say in casual conversation.Therefore, all nonsense matters that have nothing to do with business or public affairs, all personal and trivial matters can become the topic of gossip, and all discussions and criticisms that are unwilling, unable, or not worthy of being put on the table openly can be Be gossip, or be seen as gossip.The relationship between men and women is a private matter, a trivial matter, and to the commentators, it is a matter that has nothing to do with themselves, and it cannot be openly put on the table as "official talk", of course, most of it can only become gossip.Although gossip is "irrelevant", it must be "interesting" before everyone is willing to talk about it.The relationship between men and women happens to be something that everyone is interested in, and of course it will become a "hot topic" for gossip.

Gossip about the relationship between men and women falls into two categories.One type is related to the people and things around you, often with the meaning of informal discussion and criticism; the other type does not involve specific people and things, just talk about the past and the past, and talk about men and women in general, just to talk about it when you are free It's fun for the listener to enjoy.The former category is highly realistic and is a hot topic, but it must have a chance (something about "engaging in relationships between men and women" happened around me).Therefore, it is the latter type of gossip that usually talks a lot.

The latter category of gossip can be divided into two types, those with plots and those without plots.Those with plots are usually called "meat stories", while those without plots are called "meat stories".Meat talk includes all kinds of sex-related slang, common sayings, folk songs, ditties, allusions, codes, riddles, allegory, and also broadly includes "meat stories".China has always had this kind of nasty talk, and some of them have a very high "literary level".For example, during the Anti-Japanese War, someone wrote a pair of couplets for the newlyweds, saying: "The army entered Niangziguan, the heroes fought bravely; the bombardment of Pearl Harbor, the beauties were frightened." In the two major battles of Niangziguan and Pearl Harbor, "beauty" can also be understood as "American".But when it is used for newlyweds, it obviously has other meanings, and it is an out-and-out dirty word.

In fact, this is also the characteristic of most "nasty words": ambiguous words, puns, and rhetorical techniques such as metaphors, symbols, and borrowings, so that the listener can freely imagine between similarity and dissimilarity.Li Yu from the Qing Dynasty said in "Answer to the Masters at the Same Table": "It is better to be far away than to be close, and to tell the truth is not as good as making people imagine infinitely." A teacher learns by himself".They know very well that speaking out about sex is not only "indecent", but also may not really have a "theatre effect".Anyway, the Chinese are very sensitive in this regard, and they will suddenly realize it with just a little tweaking.Mr. Lu Xun said: "When you see short sleeves, you immediately think of white arms, you immediately think of nudity, you immediately think of genitals, you immediately think of sexual intercourse, you immediately think of interbreeding, and you immediately think of illegitimate children. This is the only level where the Chinese imagination can make such a leap forward. "The reason, I'm afraid nine out of ten are cultivated by this kind of gossip.

Talking dirty is undoubtedly a kind of sexual catharsis.Generally speaking, it can always cause a relatively strong psychological reaction: first nervous anticipation (I don't know what kind of nonsense the guy will say), and then loud laughter (understanding, it turned out to be the case).Therefore, in this relaxation, the psychological energy accumulated under the consciousness valve is released, and the suppressed sexual agitation is also vented and relieved.It should be said that this is not a bad thing.It can at least reduce the possibility of sexual disorder and sexual crime caused by sexual repression, and give sex-hungry people a little substitute satisfaction.Therefore, there have always been nasty words in China, and the authorities of all dynasties have turned a blind eye to the nasty words that are widely circulated among the people.As long as it is not included in the text and printed in a book, causing obscene consequences, it is also allowed to be improvised by the people and passed on by word of mouth.

In fact, it is neither necessary nor possible to ban dirty talk among the people.On the one hand, "the courteous people are not inferior to common people". What really matters is the purity of the ruler's family lineage and the distinction between the sons and daughters. The common people don't have much power and property to inherit, and even if they give birth to illegitimate children, there will be no major disturbances; On the one hand, "the sky is high and the emperor is far away", and to be honest, the authorities can't control the affairs of the bottom of society, let alone such trivial matters?Therefore, although traditional Chinese ethics have always emphasized "separating couples", "rectifying human relations", and "setting up great defenses between men and women", among the people, they don't actually take the relationship between men and women too seriously.The contact between men and women is not strictly "give and take", and flirting, teasing and joking are commonplace.Even a hero like Wu Song would make fun of women casually, gossip with the proprietress of the hotel, eat tofu, and the rest can be imagined.

"Wind words" are not "crazy words", but flirtatious words. "Feng" originally has the meaning of seducing male and female men and women, and the so-called "wind" of "competition and jealousy" is exactly that. "Eat tofu" is even better.Tofu is white and tender, which can be associated with a woman's body; tofu is "vegetarian", implying that there is no actual sexual relationship, just "joy in the mouth".In short, talking gossip and eating tofu are all "contradictory words and deeds", "talking but not doing".Since he only uses his mouth and does not use his hands, he is of course still a "gentleman", and it does not harm the seriousness or the overall situation.Those who speak are not afraid of being regarded as hooligans, and those who are said will not feel insulted. Of course, those who listen are also happy to laugh. Isn't everyone very happy?

Therefore, if the relationship between a man and a woman is good, casual, and "clean", there will be no "taboo" in speaking, and it will turn from dirty talk to gossip.In fact, there is not much difference between the two, except that what is said to everyone is called "nasty talk", and what is said to specific objects (mainly women) is called "wind talk". There is an unwritten rule for those who gossip, that is, they must never speak to unmarried girls.It is a great taboo and sin to speak gossip about unmarried girls.If anyone did this, not only the girl herself would turn pale and scold the hooligans angrily, but the girl's father, brother and those who saw injustice would also come to Xingshi to question her and beat up the pervert.In serious cases, there are sometimes homicide cases.

There is no taboo to gossip about the following three kinds of people: one is the bride, the other is the proprietress, and the third is a married woman who is not close or close.The proprietress mentioned here mainly refers to those proprietresses who open teahouses, restaurants, restaurants, and hotels, and show themselves in public to receive guests.What they do is originally to greet and send off business, and the business philosophy they believe in is "everyone who comes is a customer, it all depends on the mouth, smiles when they meet, and doesn't think about it afterwards."Since "it's all based on one's mouth", it is natural to let the guests say a few gossips. Anyway, "don't think about it afterwards", and there will be no big troubles. A few taels of silver.If the proprietress was originally engaged in skin and meat business, of course she would be more reticent to gossip, instead she would use this to make more business.Therefore, many small bosses, even if they are engaged in "regular business", are willing to let their young and beautiful wives sell wine in order to attract customers, solicit business, sell business, or take advantage of the winks between customers and the proprietress. Add water to the wine. The other two cases are a little more complicated. Let's talk about the bride first.In many places in China, there is a custom of "making trouble in the bridal chamber".At this time, there is no taboo to have a "nasty joke" with the bride and groom, and it is also one of the important programs at the wedding.Without this program, the wedding would appear "boring", at least "not lively".Those programs that are highly praised by proponents of etiquette in weddings, such as worshiping heaven and earth, worshiping parents, etc., are just "ceremonies like rituals", and ordinary people are not enthusiastic about them.What they most want to see, one is to lift the hijab, and the other is to have a bridal chamber.When the program reaches this stage, all the guests will be refreshed, and even the most honest and responsible women will stand on the periphery of the crowd, laughing quietly and admiring.Those unmarried young men regard this time as their grand festival.Because this is a legitimate opportunity for them to vent their sexual anguish that has been pent up for a long time, how can they miss it?As a result, those nasty words that I usually learn secretly will be poured out to the bride like beans in a bamboo tube.Anyway, the bride, no matter how arrogant and delicate she is usually, she can't speak at this time.Similarly, no matter how domineering and domineering the groom is usually, at this moment he has no choice but to eat yellow lotus dumbly.Then, if you don't take advantage of this time and eat tofu, wouldn't you really "lose" yourself and "cheap" the couple who "got a bargain" in the first place? When the custom of making bridal chambers began, it is probably impossible to test now.I only know the earliest documented record, which can be found in "Changyan" written by Zhong Changtong in the Western Han Dynasty.It is said that the situation in the bridal chamber at that time was "beating the stick to make fun of the supervisor, drinking wine to arouse lust, publicizing obscenity among the public, and revealing secrets among relatives." He talked a lot about nasty and gossip, and exposed things that should not be made public at ordinary times.It is not difficult to imagine that this kind of trouble is carried out around the core of "sex".Therefore, Zhong Changtong believes that this is a kind of "pollution and strange customs" and should be strictly prohibited. In fact, since the Han Dynasty, the "outrageous" things in Chinese marriage customs, in addition to making troubles in the bridal chamber, there is also "listening to the house".The so-called listening to the room is "on the eve of the wedding, eavesdropping on the bride's words and actions outside the window, thinking it was a joke." The incident of listening to the room is also recorded in history.For example, when Yuan Wei, a prominent family in the Eastern Han Dynasty, married the daughter of Confucian Ma Rong, some people listened to the house.This incident was later recorded in the "Book of the Later Han Dynasty". With Ma Rong's high virtue and Yuan Kai's high respect, the people can imagine that this incident still exists in the mansion of the wealthy family. Therefore, I suspect that the custom of making room and listening to the room probably "has existed since ancient times".They are likely to be an extremely ancient primitive custom, and its original purpose is to educate the youth of the tribe for sexual enlightenment.But as time goes on, the world is getting worse and people's hearts are not old, the way of sex education has become a means of sexual catharsis.And, in certain times and in certain places, it was quite outrageous.Some lead the bride to the front of the court, turn over clothes, take off shoes, criticize others, and tease at will, so that "a woman who sees the temple is the same as a whore who leans on the door"; The murder case turned the "red matter" into a "white matter".Obviously, this is not a sexual catharsis, but a psychopath. It should be said that there is a "degree" problem.Any joke should be done in such a way that it does not hurt the other party.It's like scratching an itch, it's comfortable to scratch a few times; if it's heavy and scratches the skin, the nature will change.Raw jokes should be more moderate, because it can easily cause insults to the other party's personality, violation of dignity, and can easily cause adverse social effects of immorality.However, this "degree" is not easy to grasp.And to be honest, no matter how modest a naughty joke is, it is indecent after all; it is extremely uncivilized to bully the bride and groom at a wedding.In any case, it is always disrespectful to ask newcomers to stand out and make a fool of themselves.Therefore, with the improvement of the civilization level of urban and rural residents in our country, it is believed that such stereotypes and bad habits will eventually disappear and cease to exist. The proprietress is not someone who has to deal with every day, and the bride is rarely seen in ten years, and the only ones who can chat casually and make nasty jokes with her are probably only married women who are not close to each other.Why must it be a married woman, and must be in close relationship?This involves a series of delicate issues in the relationship between the sexes in traditional Chinese society.