Chapter 33 Three Elopement and Fornication

Elopements are not uncommon in history, and the most famous one is the story of Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun. Sima Xiangru is a famous writer in the Western Han Dynasty, a generation of romantic talents.He is fond of reading, knows fencing, and is good at composition. He was famous for a while, and was once a guest of Liang Xiaowang, the younger brother of Emperor Han Jing.Zhuo Wenjun is the daughter of Zhuo Wangsun, a rich man in Shu County. She is both talented and famous.Such a talented man and beautiful woman are naturally a marriage in a previous life.Therefore, when Sima Xiangru went to Zhuo Wangsun's house for a banquet and learned that Zhuo Wenjun's new widow was at home, he was invited to play the piano during the banquet, and used the sound of the piano to express his heart to provoke Zhuo Wenjun.At that time, Zhuo Wenjun was peeking out the window. He was overwhelmed by Sima Xiangru's demeanor, and when he heard the sound of the piano, he couldn't help himself.So, that night, Zhuo Wenjun ran to Sima Xiangru's residence, got married privately, and then returned to Chengdu, Sima Xiangru's hometown together. Then they became husband and wife.

This is an out-and-out elopement.So when Zhuo Wenjun's father Zhuo Wangsun heard about it, he wanted to sever his father-daughter relationship with Zhuo Wenjun, and he would not give her a penny of dowry.Unexpectedly, the severance of economic ties could not make Wenjun change his mind. Instead, he ran back to Linqi with Sima Xiangru and opened a hotel on the street.Wenjun sat at the counter in person, selling wine while Sima Xiangru wore a pair of shorts, washing glasses and washing dishes with the guys.This is too embarrassing for Zhuo Wangsun.In a fit of rage, the old man had no choice but to "thank you from Dumen", and he dared not see anyone ever since.

Of course, this farce ended in comedy.Zhuo Wangsun finally distributed Zhuo Wenjun's hundreds of servants, millions of dollars, and their clothes and property when they got married, and sent them back to Chengdu to live, so as not to be ashamed and upset in front of him.However, this matter cannot be regarded as a rule.Because, first, the protagonist of the elopement is the woman, and the woman's parents are also handling the case.No matter how he handles it, "shame" will always be inevitable, so it's better to be "magnanimous" and save some face.Second, Sima Xiangru is a "celebrity" after all, and a celebrity always has the effect of a celebrity.When relatives and friends persuaded Zhuo Wangsun, they also said that "although he is poor, he has enough talents".Later, Sima Xiangru really became the favorite of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, and Zhuo Wangsun was "inscribed in the annals of history" together with Sima Xiangru, which is the proof.For this reason, this elopement story is fortunate to be passed down as a good story.

However, Sima Xiangru is Sima Xiangru after all.Zhuo Wenjun is Zhuo Wenjun after all.If the situation of the parties is different from theirs, then elopement will not be a good story, and it may become a "tragedy" or "scandal". Bai Juyi's poem "Silver Vase at the Bottom of a Well" talks about such a tragedy.This poem tells that a young woman is playing with green plums by the short wall of her house, and a young man on a white horse passes by the wall.The young man vowed to be married for a hundred years; the young girl was deeply in love and eloped with him: "The concubine grows green plums against a short wall, and the king rides a white horse to stop and hang down the willows. The wall immediately looks at each other from a distance, and when he sees the king, he will be heartbroken. Knowing the king breaks the heart and sharing the words of the king, and the king guides The pines and cypresses on the mountain. I feel that the pine and cypresses turn into hearts, and they secretly cooperate with the two maids to chase you away." It is not difficult to imagine that their hearts must be full of sincere love at this time, and they must hope that the sky will last forever and they will be together forever.Therefore, if this incident happened in modern times, we don't seem to need to worry about their fate.

However, feudal ethics did not tolerate this kind of elopement with "improper names and unsatisfactory words".When the young men and women returned home happily, what they encountered was unexpected: "After five or six years in Jun's house, the adults of Jun's family often said, 'If you are hired, you will be a wife or a concubine'. There are frequent sacrifices.” That is to say, her parents-in-law did not recognize her as the son’s main wife at all, and she was not allowed to participate in ancestor worship activities, which was tantamount to declaring that she was an unpopular and disrespected person in the family.In this way, this woman is in an extremely embarrassing position: "I know that you can't live in your home, and you can't go out." Her husband can't live in her home, and her mother's home can't go back. Mistaking a concubine for a hundred years."Therefore, she had no choice but to sum up the "lesson" and say: "Send a message to a foolish girl, be careful not to belittle yourself to others."

It can be seen that most elopements do not end well. This is what "The Silver Vase at the Bottom of the Well" is about. However, Bai Juyi and others don’t seem to think about it in reverse; is it a “good end” to give up one’s own free will, let one’s parents make arrangements, and spend one’s life with someone one doesn’t love? If elopement is a challenge to the traditional marriage system, then fornication is the destruction of the traditional marriage system.Therefore, the risk of adultery is greater, and the punishment is heavier. The so-called fornication is the sexual relationship between a man and a woman who is not husband and wife.This kind of non-marital sexual relationship includes pre-marital and extra-marital sex.Generally speaking, however, fornication mostly refers specifically to sexual relations outside of marriage, that is, having sex with a married woman or a married man.This kind of thing, even today, probably at least should not be advocated.However, it is a pity that from ancient times to the present, it is not uncommon.

For example, "Poetry.Zheng Feng.Although "The Girl Says Chicken Crowing" has always been "kindly" interpreted by scholars as "married life", I suspect that it may not be written about "husband and wife", but "lover".The original text of the poem is: "The female said 'chicken crowing', and the scholar said 'Mei Dan'. 'Zi Xing sees the night, and the stars are bright'." Appropriate. It is advisable to drink wine and grow old together. The piano is in the royal family, so it is better to be quiet.''When the acquaintance comes, give him a miscellaneous gift. If the acquaintance obeys, ask him. Repay it.'" The translation is: The woman said, oh, the rooster is crowing.The man said, it's not yet dawn!The woman said, get up and take a look, the Venus is so bright!The man said, okay, okay, I'll go out and see if I can shoot a duck or a wild goose.The woman said, if you come back from hunting wild animals, I will cook you a plate of good food and get you some wine to drink. I hope we can grow old together, just like the harmonious zither, peaceful and beautiful.The man said, I knew you would come to see me often, so I gave you all kinds of jewelry; I knew you would be considerate of me, so I gave you various ornaments; I knew you would really love me, so I gave you all kinds of accessories. kinds of gifts.Please see, are these two people more like a husband and wife, or more like a lover?Maybe it's more like a lover?However, they don't look like extramarital affairs, but more like young men and women who have "illegally cohabited" in love.Xicheng's "Poetry Benyi" said: ""The girl is called cockcrow", and the prostitute wants to have a home." This statement should be an accurate understanding except that this woman should not be called prostitute. Of course, this person who often visits his lover, The woman who meets with her lover late at night and accepts the gift from her lover may also be a married woman.She is not reconciled to just being a "dewy couple" with her lover, but hopes to live with her lover like a real couple, "surreptitiously harmonious, and grow old together" like a real couple.That's why she specifically said the words "add it to Yi Yan, and make it suitable for you", which is actually an expression of her desire to live as a "true couple".If they were a husband and wife, the husband would go hunting and the wife would cook at home, which is their own duty, and there is no need for so much "nonsense".Even if there is, there is no need to write it into the poem, and there will be no love words such as "drinking wine with words, growing old with your son, and keeping the harp in your hands, so it's better to be quiet".When have you ever seen a Chinese couple, after getting up in the morning, there will be such a "love talk"?

In fact, as mentioned many times earlier in this book, traditional marriage in China is a "marriage without love".Even if there is love, but in order to keep the etiquette, speak the rules, and look good, they seldom express love with words, but show consideration with actions more.The expression of love is often only used between lovers, or courtship between unmarried men and women, or fornication between married men and women.Therefore, the love poems in ancient China were not written for lovers, or they were about private trysts between lovers. Precisely because it is a private tryst, afraid of being found out, it is necessary to "start immediately".However, when a man loves a woman and loves a woman, the love between the two is strong, so naturally they only hate "the spring night is too short".Therefore, the saddest moment for a lover who has a tryst is the dawn when they must break up. "poetry.Qi Feng.Crowing Cock vividly depicts this psychology of lovers.The original text of the poem is: "'The chicken is crowing, and the morning is full.''The crowing of the rooster is the sound of the fly.''The east is bright, and the morning is prosperous.''The bandit is bright in the east, and the light of the moonrise .''Chongfei 薨薨 (hong), willing to share the same dream. The meeting will go away, and there will be no concubine to hate.'" The translation is: the woman said, the rooster crowed, and it was dawn for a while.The man said, it wasn't the crowing of the cock, but the noise of the flies.The woman said again, the east is white, and the sky is already bright.The man said that it was not the whiteness of the east, but the brilliance of the moon.The woman said, if it's really bugs, I'd rather sleep with you again.It's a pity that the time is up, I should go home, don't hate me!

Mr. Qian Zhongshu's "Guan Zhui Bian" has a very insightful view on this.He pointed out that "Wu Ye Cry" and "Du Qu Ge" in the Yuefu folk songs of the Six Dynasties "could it be the legacy of these two poems (that is, "The Girl Says Chicken Crowing" and "Chicken Crowing") in "Three Hundred Chapters"." "Song" is sung like this: "Kill the long cock and crow, and play Wujiuwu. I hope that the dawn will never come back, and the dawn will come every year." In this folk song, the identities of the hero and heroine are not clear enough, but "Wu Ye Tiao" is clearly about cheating. "Wuye Cry" is sung like this: "Poor Wujiuji, who insists that he knows the dawn. It crows at the third watch for no reason, and Huanzi goes in the dark." "Huanzi" is the lover.Just because the Wujiu bird that announced the dawn "singed at three o'clock for no reason", the lover fled in the middle of the night. Isn't this cheating?What's more interesting is that Mr. Qian Zhongshu also pointed out: "In Shakespeare's play, lovers' gatherings are written. The woman said: 'It's not yet dawn, and this nightingale is singing, but it's not the skylark'." The sun is shining through." The woman said: "This is not the dawn, but the ear of a meteor.' It can be compared." The so-called "can be compared and surveyed" means that it can be read in comparison with the two poems "The Girl Says Chicken Crowing" and "Chicken Crowing". And a comparison, it is not difficult for us to find that Chinese and Western lovers have the same mentality.The difference is probably just that women in China are more afraid of being discovered, while men in the West are more afraid of being exposed.

This fear is natural.Because in China, the punishment for adultery between men and women has always been that women are more important than men. Take elopement as an example, the man will hardly be punished except for being scolded, but the woman will be classified as a separate book and never stand up again. "Employment is a wife and a concubine", this punishment is not someone who has experienced it, so it is impossible to understand its weight.It is actually heavier than being sentenced or sentenced.Because punishment is limited to flesh and blood, there is always a term of imprisonment, but this kind of punishment of "putting into another book" is mental torture that will never see the light of day.As a result, the same elopement party, the man was only "punished" to marry another wife, but the woman was fined to be a pariah forever, how unfair it is!

In the same way, a married man who has an affair with a married woman is also punished with patriarchy.For example, the affair between Jia Lian and Bao's family, when the matter came to Jia's mother, Jia's mother just said: "What's the matter! The children are young and greedy cats, how can we keep them?" As a result, Jia Lian There was no punishment, but the "victim" Sister Feng, who even said a few words to Jia Mu: "It's all my fault. I told you to drink a few more drinks, and you became jealous again!" However, the meaning of "men are superior to women" is also very obvious.As for another client, Bao Er's family, she didn't even dare to wait for punishment, and hanged herself first, so it can be seen that waiting for her punishment must be more terrible than death. Of course, the reason why Jia Lian's adultery was "peaceful" is that the person he committed adultery was only the wife of a servant.In the eyes of the lords and wives of the Jia Mansion, this kind of behavior does not violate the law or the rules, but it is more "lowering": who is not good at stealing?To steal that kind of thing.Precisely because it is generally accepted that it is more "low work", probably even Jia Lian himself thinks it is more "low work", so once Sister Feng finds out, he feels "unable to keep his face", so he became angry from embarrassment, went crazy with wine, and even raised a sword to kill Sister Feng .This is not so much Jia Lian's self-consciously reasonable, as it is consciously wrong.It is precisely because he feels wronged that he has to fight back and strike preemptively in order to "make money"; and his loss is not because he shouldn't have an affair, but because he shouldn't "drop the price" so much. It can be seen that in an adultery case, the status of the "beneficiary" (the legal husband of the adulterous woman) is very important.If the husband's status is too low, the lover's price will drop; if the husband's status is too high, the lover will be dangerous.For example, in the Sui Dynasty, there was a man named Li Baiyao who was so bold that he sneaked into the most powerful Yang Su's house in the middle of the night and had an affair with Yang Su's concubine.This is tantamount to plucking the hair from the tiger's mouth.Therefore, after the Dongchuang incident happened, Yang Su ordered both of them to be captured and beheaded together.At this time, Yang Su discovered that Li Baiyao was a handsome young man who was "not yet twenty years old, with a handsome appearance". Suddenly, he felt compassion and said to Li Baiyao, I heard that you are a good writer. , then write a poem about yourself!Well written, spare your life.After speaking, it is called loosening and granting the pen.Li Baiyao was also unambiguous and did it in one go.Yang Su read it and admired it greatly, so he kept his promise, released Li Baiyao, and also rewarded his favorite concubine to Li Baiyao, and had "hundreds of thousands of capital".In the end, Li Baiyao was out of danger.Not only is there no risk, but "making a wife and making money" is enough to take advantage. In fact, this case is not counted.Because this Li Baiyao is not an ordinary person, but the son of Li Delin who was an official in the same dynasty as Yang Su.If Yang Su really killed Li Baiyao, it would be difficult for Li Delin to explain it to him, so it would be better to be "magnanimous" and be a favor, which would be equivalent to making a political investment with Li Delin.It's not hard to imagine that if this Li Baiyao was nothing more than a grassroots person, then the heads of this couple of lovers would have fallen to the ground long ago. It can be seen from this that adultery, if not done well, will lose your head. However, despite the risks of adultery, there are still too many people who commit adultery. "Die under the peony flower, even a ghost can be romantic", this is the slogan of those who risk their lives to cheat.Even, sometimes the emperor's wife would join the ranks of cheaters.For example, Xu Zhaopei, the concubine of Emperor Liang Yuan in the Southern Dynasty.This Xu Zhaopei, relying on her family background (the grandson of Qianjin Taiwei, the daughter of the current general) and her senior qualifications (Xiao Yi entered the palace when she was still the king of Eastern Hunan), did not take her husband very seriously. , Openly having an affair with a lover.First, I got acquainted with Zhiyuan, a romantic Taoist priest from Yaoguang Temple in Jingzhou, and later I met Ji Jiang, a man from North Korea and China. Later, I invited a poet named He Hui at that time to a nunnery for a tryst. Pillow" sing together.When this concubine Xu hooked up with her lover, she was already middle-aged, and she was still very romantic.So her lover and Ji Jiang said that although the Bai Zhi dog is old, he can still hunt;This is the origin of the so-called "Milfs in their mid-life age, the charm still exists" in later generations. Xu Niangniang's cheating has become so famous, of course it cannot be tolerated by Xiao Yi.The wife of the supreme emperor actually stole a man, so what is the dignity, what is the dignity?So Liang Yuandi Xiao Yi forced her to commit suicide under the pretext that the death of another favorite concubine was caused by concubine Xu because of jealousy.Xu Zhaopei had no choice but to throw himself into the well.Xiao Yi's lingering hatred persisted, and he fished up her body and sent it back to her natal family, expressing that he severed the relationship with her. This is the famous "dead wife" in history.Xu Niang gave birth to two classics alone, which is considered "splendid". Xu Niang's romantic affair ended with a tragic ending.However, her fate did not seem to have caused enough lessons.In the Tang Dynasty, cheating outside of marriage almost became a "fashion".In Tang Dynasty's notes and novels, not only people in the world enjoy it, but even gods, humans and ghosts descend to the earth to find lovers.There is a story that the Vega star in the sky also left Cowherd behind, and went to the world every night to have a tryst with her lover.The lover asked her how to explain to the cowherd?But Zhinu said, what does it matter to him?What's more, he wouldn't know about the separation of the Milky Way; even if he knew, it wouldn't be a big deal.It shows a kind of "don't care" attitude of people at that time.After the Song Dynasty, Confucianism flourished, and the issue of chastity was paid more and more attention to. However, cheating in the Ming and Qing Dynasties was not necessarily much less than that in the Tang and Song Dynasties, but it was less ostentatious.In fact, until modern times, extramarital affairs are still a headache and thorny issue for society.Regarding this phenomenon, there are those who are filled with righteous indignation and insist that it should not be done;This shows that the so-called "cheating love" is an extremely complex social and historical phenomenon; there are unforgivable evils and unspeakable hidden things, some must be criticized, and some deserve sympathy, which cannot be generalized.