Chapter 24 Four Jealous Wives and Concubines

Most of the first to attack is the wife. This is also easy to understand.Because the husband takes a concubine, the wife is the first to be harmed and hurt, and among the wives and concubines, the wife is also the one who has the most status and power.According to the etiquette, a husband must obtain his wife's approval to take a concubine. However, as long as possible, the wives have the same attitude, that is, "no approval". The so-called possibility refers to three conditions: 1. The husband is a man of courtesy and can adhere to the principle of "taking a concubine must be approved by the wife"; More severe, the husband is afraid of his wife.If the wife bears sons, the objection to the husband's concubinage is all the more powerful.Because the husband takes a concubine, no matter what his motivation is, the banner is often "just for the sake of hardship for the heirs".If the wife has already given birth to a legitimate son, and the husband wants to take a concubine, there will be one less "justifiable reason".Therefore, when they are pregnant with their first child, all the wives look forward to having a son so that they can establish their unsupportable position in the family; On the grounds of "out", get him a few aunts and wives to enjoy.

Of course, if the husband is very domineering, he can still take concubines regardless of whether the wife agrees or not, and regardless of whether the wife has children; similarly, if the wife is strong, then the husband’s desire to take concubines will always be just a dream . The most powerful person who resisted her husband's concubinage was probably in the Han, Wei and Six Dynasties.For example, Xie An in the Eastern Jin Dynasty liked singing, dancing and music, and was always accompanied by prostitutes. Later, he wanted to take a concubine, but his wife, Mrs. Liu, was very firm and refused to agree.Not only did he disagree, Xie An actually didn't even dare to speak.When Xie An's nephews and nephews found out, they went to work with Madam Liu.The way to do work is to talk about poetry, saying that it is really well written. Guan Ju and katydids all have the "virtue of not being jealous".Of course Mrs. Liu knew what they meant, so she asked: Who wrote this poem?Everyone replied that it was written by Zhou Gong.Madam Liu nodded and said, that's it!Zhou Gong is a man, of course it is written like this.If Zhou Po writes poetry, see what she says!

Zhizai Mrs. Liu too!It really hit the nail on the head!The "virtue of non-envy" is all for the sake of men, why have you ever thought of women's rights and emotions?When the nephews touched this nail, there was nothing they could do.And although Xie An has a high position and authority, he is in the position of Taibao, and he was given the title of Taifu, but he is also helpless. During the Han, Wei and Six Dynasties, the jealousy of wives was very strong, and many husbands had nothing to do with their husbands. Emperor Ming of Liu Song had no choice but to ask Yu Tongzhi to write a book "The Story of a Jealous Woman", hoping to do something. Education career.

The book "The Story of a Jealous Woman" written by Yu Tongzhi records many stories similar to Mrs. Liu's refusal to agree to Xie An's concubine.However, the most famous "jealous woman" is Liu Boyu's wife in Duan Chengshi's "Youyang Miscellaneous". Liu Boyu's wife, surnamed Duan and named Mingguang, was born in the Taishi period of the Western Jin Dynasty.Liu Boyu seems a bit baffled, he likes to recite Cao Zhi's "Luo Shen Fu" in front of his wife, and after the recitation, he will express his emotions, saying, "I have no regrets for marrying a woman like this"!Finally one day, Ms. Duan Mingguang couldn't bear it any longer, and said why did my husband praise the water god so much and despise me?If I die, am I afraid that I won't become a water god?That night, Ms. Duan committed suicide by throwing herself into the river.Seven days after his death, he entrusted Liu Boyu with a dream, saying that the husband does not love the god of water?I am a water god now.After waking up from the dream, Liu Boyu came to his senses, and never dared to cross the river for the rest of his life, and the water in which Ms. Duan sank was called "jealous woman Jin" by the locals.It is said that once a young and beautiful woman crosses the "jealous wife's Tianjin", there will be a sudden storm on the river, but when a person with ugly clothes and ugly clothes crosses the river, the river will be calm.Therefore, there is a local folk proverb that says: "If you want a good woman, stand at the mouth of the river; if a woman stands beside the water, she will show her ugliness."

Ms. Duan is jealous of the dead, and Mrs. Xun is jealous of men.According to Shen Yue's "Common Sayings" in the Southern Dynasty, Xun Jiezi was the governor of Jingzhou, and Mrs. Xun stayed in her husband's study all day in order to monitor her husband, and hid behind the screen when guests came.Once, a young and beautiful Huan Canjun came to visit. After finishing his official business, he said a few more gossips. Unexpectedly, Mrs. Xun shouted from behind the screen: Huan Canjun, do you know how to behave?The official business is over, why don't you leave?Huan Canjun was so embarrassed that he had no choice but to leave.

Sometimes, the wife is too jealous and alarms the emperor.For example, the wife of Rong Yanyuan, Shangshu Youcheng of Emperor Liu Song and Ming Dynasty, fought violently because of jealousy, and hurt Lord Shangshu's face.Emperor Ming asked: "How about I treat it?" Rong Yanyuan replied casually: "Listen to the imperial decree." As a result, the emperor gave medicine that night and killed his wife.The wife of another minister, Liu Xiu, was also very acidic. Emperor Ming personally gave Liu Xiu a concubine, beat Liu Xiu's wife, Wang's family, 20 boards, and ordered Liu Xiu to open a small shop behind the house. Mrs. Wang went to the store to sweep the floor.Emperor Ming dealt with it in this way not only because he himself hated jealousy, but also because the jealousy of his wives had already had an impact on the feudal ethics of "men are superior to women", so it must be rectified.

In fact, jealousy is a very common psychology in the relationship between the sexes.However, the Chinese attribute all jealousy to women (these two characters all come from "female", which is proof), and even think that it is a psychology that women should not have, so we have to say that it is male domineering. Since the matter of taking concubines is allowed by feudal ethics, the success rate of wives who are jealous of their husbands and taking concubines will not be very high.Therefore, the wives had no choice but to settle for the next best thing. After the concubine entered the house, they tried their best to exclude, oppress, destroy and even murder.

The examples abound.For example, Jia Lian's concubine, You Erjie, was actually murdered by Wang Xifeng, and the case itself could be a novel by itself.In history, there are many cases where the main wife persecuted and murdered concubines.For example, after Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, Chen Ajiao had no children, so she tried every means to curse and kill the concubines who had children.After Jin Huidi, Jananfeng was even more cruel. Once she learned that a certain concubine was pregnant, she would cut open the pregnant woman's stomach with a knife and execute the pregnant woman and the fetus together. This is simply appalling.

Of course, after all, there are not many people who kill with open flames, and more of them are conspiracies.For example, during the Warring States Period, Zheng Xiu, the wife of King Huai of Chu, saw that King Huai favored the beauties sent by the state of Wei, and told her that the king doesn't like your nose.Therefore, every time the girl saw King Huai, she covered her nose with her sleeve, hoping to win King Huai's favor.Unexpectedly, Zheng Xiu had already slandered King Huai, saying that Wei Nu disliked the smell on your body.As a result, King Huai was furious and ordered Wei Nu's nose to be cut off, and Wei Nu fell out of favor from then on.

From this point of view, the conflict between wives and concubines is really life and death.Stirring up trouble, sowing dissension, pretending to be gods and ghosts, misrepresenting the truth, adding insult to injury, borrowing a knife to kill...all the means that politicians can use and the court can use are also useful here.In fact, court struggles and family struggles in ancient China were very similar, that is, they were both struggles for a man, except that the generals fought for the king, and the wives and concubines fought for the husband.However, the purpose is the same, that is, to exclude others and enjoy their favor alone.

It was a protracted and exhausting struggle.However, those who have the conditions to accept concubines are mostly from well-off families, and no matter whether they are wives or concubines, they don't need to work in the fields or weave to make a living.They have time and energy, and when they are worried that they can't pass the time, they just use it to gossip, stir up trouble, poke holes, and plot.If it is done well, the thorns in the eyes and thorns in the flesh can be pulled out, and if it is not done well, it can also go out of the house and vent hatred, at least it can be happy and relieve boredom.In those big families with a thriving population and many wives and concubines, except for those who are too low in status to participate, and who are cowardly and unwilling to participate, most of the others are very enthusiastic about this kind of internal struggle. However, in this struggle, the attitudes and methods of wives and concubines are often different.Generally speaking, the wife's attitude and tactics are "defensive with offense", that is, to maintain her position by attacking and crowding out concubines; Pet to achieve the purpose of hitting his wife.Therefore, if "splashing vinegar" is a conventional weapon of wives, then "struggling for favor" is almost the basic strategy of concubines. The word "pet" originally meant respect, honor, favor, etc. "Shuowen" says: "Beloved, respected." "Zihui" says: "Beloved, kind." However, the word "loved" is only used for the love of the respected for the humble.For example, if the emperor loves his ministers, the ministers will be "favored ministers"; if the husband loves his concubines, then the concubines will be "favored concubines".When courtiers and concubines are favored, of course it will inevitably lead to jealousy.So once it comes and goes, the word pet has a derogatory meaning, and the concubine or concubine will inevitably become the same as the favorite, and become the target of public criticism. In fact, whether it is a minister or a concubine, "competition for favor" is inevitable.Because the subject is to the king, and the concubine is to the husband, just like a slave is to the master, it is a relationship of personal dependence.This kind of relationship can neither be dissolved nor reversed, and the honor and disgrace of the life and death of the minister and the concubine are all tied to the monarch and husband. If there is no competition for favor, what other way is there?What's more, a concubine is different from a wife.The status of a wife is protected by rites.When a wife falls out of favor, it is usually just neglected at most, and a false air and a false face can generally be kept.If she is willing to be lonely, no one else can do anything about it.When the husband is promoted, she is still the one who seals the imperial order; when the son gets married, it is still she who is bowed down.In these big scenes, the concubine can't get on the stage.A concubine is someone who has no status at all.Once she falls out of favor, she will have "nothing" and may even be kicked out by her wife, so concubines must compete for favor. However, "pet" is not a good thing. Favor is respect, honor, favor, and love, why is it not good?Because respect, honor, grace, and love are all relative to humiliation, humiliation, resentment, and hatred.If it is "men are superior to women", maybe there is nothing to say.But if they are both women, or even concubines, some are honored and some are humiliated, some are favored and some are not, then this tone cannot be swallowed no matter what. "There are three thousand beauties in the harem, and three thousand dotes on one body", is this really worth it?Among the three thousand beauties who fell out of favor, which one didn't gnash their teeth with hatred in their hearts? However, although pets are harmful, they cannot be disputed.If you win the favor, you still have the honor for a day; if you don't win the favor, you have nothing.Therefore, fighting for a day is a day.And smart concubines will also take advantage of the opportunity to get some benefits from their husbands when they are most favored, such as asking for a house, saving more private houses, or asking for a title for their son, asking for a piece of land, and finding a job. Things, leave some inheritance or something, think of your own way out.Those who have no sons or a way out will squander and enjoy themselves when they are favored, and live a life of "drunk today". Of course, the more important thing is "solid pet".In addition to trying to figure out the husband's psychology, making use of one's own appearance, demeanor and persuasion as much as possible to please him, it is also extremely important to strictly prevent the husband from taking a new concubine.Because concubines love the new and hate the old, it is absolutely impossible for them to be single-minded in love, and the new concubines will definitely "catch up from behind".Therefore, at this time, the favored concubine will often abandon the old feud with the wives and concubines who have fallen out of favor, shake hands and talk happily, and form a new "united front" to deal with the "little whore" who is still confused for a while. A new struggle will begin again. It can be seen that the concubine system is a very cruel, corrupt, dirty and inhuman system.In the final analysis, it has only two contents, that is, the bullying and teasing of women by men and the killing and persecution of women by women.Whatever it is, it's a crime.Therefore, the concubine system is one of the most uncivilized things in the process of human sexual relations from barbarism to civilization. The concubine system not only destroys and destroys human nature, especially women, but also is not completely beneficial to the feudal ruling order.Jealousy between wives and concubines, and quarrels between the sons and daughters will not only destroy the harmonious and peaceful life order advocated by patriarchal ethics and ethics, and make the family have no peace, but also shake the foundation of the country if not done well.Because the traditional Chinese political system is a "family" system, the "housework" of the royal family is "state affairs", and the inheritance of the throne cannot bypass issues such as wives, concubines, and concubines.Therefore, in all dynasties, there have been cases where the country has no peace because of the emperor's housework.The most famous one is the "Li Chu" incident in the Wanli Dynasty of the Ming Dynasty.The surname of the main palace of Emperor Wanli is Wang.It is said that she is very knowledgeable, courteous, quiet and dignified, and was deeply loved by Wanli's birth mother, Queen Mother Li, but she did not hit it off with Wanli.There is no empress, and the emperor has no sons.According to Li, "there is no heir to establish a head", the position of the crown prince should belong to the eldest son Zhu Changluo.However, the origin of the eldest son of the emperor is unknown. When Emperor Wanli went to the Palace of Compassion and Ning to pay his respects to the Empress Dowager Li, he was born impulsively and had a relationship with a court lady of the Empress Dowager.So even though he was the eldest son, he was not loved, and Zhu Changxun, the son of Concubine Zheng who was loved by Wanli, was the third son of the emperor.Therefore, on the issue of establishing a reserve, Emperor Wanli fought a tug-of-war with the "ministers" in the court for more than ten years, which also triggered a series of incidents, and the fate of the Ming Dynasty was almost tossed up. The concubine system not only destroys human nature, but also brings troubles to the feudal order. How can it last for thousands of years?Of course, there are many reasons, such as "private ownership is the root of all evil" that commentators often say; in addition, the patriarchal system emphasizes that blood must be inherited by men, and many children and grandchildren are blessings.But there is one point that the commentators have neglected, that is, the lack of love in traditional Chinese marriage.There is no love in traditional Chinese marriage, and the relationship between husband and wife is indifferent. If a man wants to find true love, he can only rely on his concubine.Because wives are appointed by parents and introduced by matchmakers, whether they can have love after marriage depends entirely on luck; concubines are chosen by themselves, and some have feelings before marriage, so of course they are much more reliable.Therefore, in ancient men’s taking concubines, in addition to flaunting (indicating their status), bragging about their wealth (buying a concubine if they have money), entertaining (entertaining their eyes and ears with their concubine’s beauty and skills) and venting their desires, there were also a small number of people. It is to experience love.Perhaps it is precisely because of this that when they can't experience love from their concubines, they will turn their attention to the maids, so there is a saying that "concubines are not as good as maids".