Chapter 9 Four sisters and a tomboy

History has come to the present in a blink of an eye. What about women in contemporary China?In addition to the so-called "good wife and loving mother" type is still the majority, there are two types, which are also worth mentioning, and these are "bad sister" and "tomboy". The typical "嗲妹妹" are generally found in the south, and the "嗝妹姐" in Shanghai is the most typical.The Chinese character with the dia sound is only the word "嗲", which was originally a dialect in the south, and northerners, male or female, often don't know what "嗲" is. Both "Chinese Dictionary" and "Modern Chinese Dictionary" interpret it as "the voice and gesture of coquettishness", such as "嗤声嗤qi" and so on.This can well represent a view of northerners on "嗤", but it is obviously inaccurate.For example, there is a taste in the south called "satay flavor" (such as satay-flavored instant noodles), is it "the taste of coquetry"?There is a saying in Shanghai called "Laodiage" (meaning "pretty good", "very good"), can it be translated as "quite coquettish"?Even the word "fadia" cannot be simply understood as "acting like a baby".In short, the word "嗤" not only has meanings such as shy, coquettish, petite, delicate, delicate, delicate, delicate, delicate, delicate, etc., but also has richer and more complicated content than this.

We might as well examine what is "嗲", or what kind of talent is "嗝". First of all, "嗤" is exclusively for women.To say that a man is "fadia" is not necessarily ironic, but it also has a sense of jokes and ridicule.Secondly, "嗲" is exclusive to girls.Only girls are qualified to "babe".If the old woman also "fadia", it will make people laugh.Of course, this range can be extended to young women.When a young woman is qualified to be "fadie" or regarded as "very sweet", it means that she is actually regarded as a little girl, and it is a very lucky thing to be pampered like a little girl .Therefore, in life, there is only the saying "sister whining", not "brother whining" or "wife whining".The elder brother is the protector and protector of the younger sister, so of course he can't love it himself; the wife is already a wife or mother, so it's not easy to be a child anymore. Of course there are "wives", but it must be pointed out that these wives are actually regarded as "sisters" in the eyes of their husbands.

Although "嗲" only belongs to girls, but not all girls can be called "嗲".For example, the five big and the three rough are not good, the short, fat and solid are not good, the fiery and pungent are not good, the dull and dull are not good, the plows are not good, and the street peddlers are not good....It seems that it is really not easy to be "bad".It actually includes requirements for age, gender, origin, status, figure, posture, personality, conversation, temperament, taste, skills, and even accent.As long as there is one aspect that cannot "reach the standard", it will not be easy to be "bad".For example, a girl who speaks Wu Nong's soft language or Hokkien Mandarin is more "bad", while a girl who speaks a Henan accent or a northern Shaanxi accent is hard to be considered a "baby sister".

Although "嗤" has so many conditions, "嗤" is not equal to these conditions itself.To be precise, it is a girl. Because of her petite figure, charming figure, gentle personality, elegant speech, fashionable clothes, and decent manners, she is graceful when she is still, graceful when she moves, soft when she speaks, and delicate when she eats. Chew slowly and so on to give people an "emotional feeling".In other words, it is a "cultural sentiment"; or in other words, a "taste". This kind of taste is often called "smelly" and "sour" contemptuously by girls in Beijing, but it is by no means equivalent to the so-called "ze" in Wuhan (the word is not found in the dictionary. The so-called "ze" in Wuhan is the same as "ze") "嘤" has similarities, but it is a kind of contempt, irony and criticism of "coquettish" and "fadia". ", "sickness". When encountering such a situation, Wuhan people will say with contempt: "What's the matter with you?" !"

The so-called "baby" in Shanghai is not only not repulsive or disgusting, but it means loving and affectionate.Because those who are qualified to be "bad" are all girls, and they are petite, exquisite, soft and pleasant girls.Who doesn't love such a girl?And how many beloved girls are not coquettish?Therefore, the more a girl feels loved, the more delicate she will be.Similarly, the more coquettish she is, the more endearing she is.Shanghai girls who are in love almost all understand this truth. Each of them shows their talents, which makes the men feel heartbroken and loves them abnormally.

This kind of method to make men fall in love with it is called "Whispering Gong".In addition to innate conditions, skills are also very important.The essence of it is to understand that the so-called "baby" is a kind of temperament that makes men love and care, so you must not "pretend to be big".Men think they are great, whether they are men (real tigers) or young husbands (paper tigers), they do not want their women to be "tigresses".Facing a "tigress", the "paper tiger" will of course reveal his secrets, but the "real tiger" will also find it boring, because it will make him unable to play the role of a man, or at least lose many opportunities.Therefore, the smaller the "fadia" person, the better: small stature, small appetite, low voice, small movements, and small courage, so that a "big" man can show his talents.The result is that the man gets face (like a man), and the girl gets benefits (being protected and loved), isn't everyone happy?

Similarly, a man who is well versed in this way will also do what he likes, be gentle and considerate, and this is called "flower skills".If a woman can "babe", and a man can "flower", then they hit it off and can "dating".Therefore, people in Shanghai said: "Men eat sweets, women eat flower". It can be seen from this that the so-called "baby sister" is the kind of girl who makes men feel distressed and loved; A "taste" unique to girls and liked by men. Obviously, this is a kind of "femininity". It should be said that it is a characteristic of women in Jiangnan, especially in Shanghai, to ensure that they do not lose their "femininity" under any circumstances.Generally speaking, a woman should be feminine.Northern women are also feminine when they are girls.But once you get married, especially when you become a mother, it's hard to say.A considerable part is to let their own female characteristics unilaterally develop towards "maternity".Including their clothing and attire, they are just "mothers" rather than "women".What's worse, it will even be very sloppy, useless, unkempt, disheveled, dragging shoes, sitting at the door with open clothes, nursing a child, covered in milk and excrement.It seems that once a woman becomes a mother, she doesn't have to care about being a woman anymore.

This is not the case for women in the South and Shanghai.At any time, they will never forget their gender roles, and they will never wear men's clothes casually like northern women.Even in the era when they "don't like red clothes and prefer armed forces", they will "trick" those fat green clothes and green trousers.For example, make the waist, straight bars and trousers smaller, and make some fuss about the neckline and cuffs, etc. After seeing it, people feel that the military uniform is not "that thing", but they have to secretly admit that "it looks much better." .Once they open up a little bit, they will have more tricks, and these tricks are nothing more than trying to show their own gender characteristics.

In fact, as Yang Dongping pointed out in "City Monsoon", "Shanghai girls have received the 'female nurturing' education from their mothers and grandmothers since they were girls." In fact, the education given to them is not limited to Mothers and grandmothers, including those warm-hearted "old aunts", "little sisters" who talk about everything, and the influence of neighbors on the streets and alleys.This enables them to be able to wash clothes, cook, sew and weave, sit and eat well, behave well, know how to communicate with boys and have clear boundaries, and know how to keep colors and patterns in fashion without being "rural". gas".

Of course, they also know "fadia" from an early age, as well as when and how to "fadia". In short, they know from a young age that they are women and how to be women. Now, we can roughly have an impression and definition of the so-called "baby sister".Generally speaking, this refers to those girls who are petite, weak, beautiful, quiet, and loved, such as "Sister Lin".At the same time, it can also broadly refer to those women who are particularly feminine and particularly highlight the "feminine" temperament of women. However, "baby sister" is by no means equal to "weak woman".

In fact, the "weakness" of "baby sisters" is often just a superficial image, just as the "strongness" of many "ruffian buddies" is just "strong on the outside but dry on the inside".Many Shanghai girls (including young women) are actually "weak on the outside and strong on the inside", "bad on the outside and not hot on the inside". People who have worked in Xinjiang, Heilongjiang, Yunnan and other production and construction corps that once gathered Shanghai educated youth have the impression that not all Shanghai girls are "Miss Jiao", but in fact, most of them are "feminine women".They are neither squeamish, nor lazy, nor stupid, and their productivity and survival ability are impressive (Shanghai male educated youths are actually the same).To be precise, they can really act like a baby when they want to act like a baby, can really endure hardships when they want to endure hardships, can really unite people when they want to unite people (a piece of soy sauce cake is enough), and can really reject foreigners when they want to (one Shanghainese dialect is enough). She quickly adapts to the environment and maintains "Shanghai characteristics". She can be an "iron girl" without losing her "femininity".I have worked in the Corps, and I have this impression myself.And I also found that many male workers from northern China really hope to marry a female educated youth from Shanghai as their wife.After getting married, these northern men will even be "Shanghaiified" soon.Even if they are not henpecked like Shanghai men, at least they don't beat their wives like northern men.In addition to not being able to speak Shanghainese, his wife will dress up his whole body like a Shanghainese, even his eating habits are no exception. This is exactly what Shanghai's "嗤姐姐姐" does: first conquer men with "嗤gong", and then transform them with "嗤gong", so that men can quietly submit in tenderness and sweetness, and become what they want to be.It can be said that if God cannot send a desirable partner to Shanghai girls, they will create one themselves.Therefore, the "threshold fine" and "affordable" Shanghai girls do not expect a "Prince Charming". They would rather pick a "educable child" and shape him into an "ideal husband" by themselves. Who said "sisters" are "weak"? In fact, Shanghai women are not only "strong" at home, but also not weak in the workplace. Many of them are the backbone of business and even leaders.In short, half of their fragility and coquettishness are for others to see, so that they can get various benefits (for example, they get active help from men in labor, active care from men in life, etc.).It can be said that the modern "baby sister" inherited the image of the traditional "weak woman" on the surface, but transformed that "weakness" into a survival weapon and survival wisdom. There is no doubt that when femininity or other female characteristics are seen as a means to be exploited, they can certainly be used to seek happiness for oneself, but they may also become commodities.In Shanghai people's marriage and love, there is a tradition of "being affordable". Then, when marriage becomes a money transaction, Jiaobai often becomes a weight in bargaining. Perhaps, this is also one of the reasons why northern girls hate the "pretty sweetness" of southern girls so much.In comparison, northern girls are indeed more "chivalrous".Men in the north call each other "brothers", while girls in the north call each other "sisters".And cheer up, and maybe call each other "buddies."They emphasize emotion and morality, and like men, they frequently use words such as "special liver and gall" and "special iron" to describe their friendship with their friends, and this kind of friendship often breaks gender boundaries .On holidays, most Shanghai girls go arm in arm with their boyfriends to "Zama Road" (to tell the truth, there are really no other places to go in Shanghai other than the road), while Beijing girls may be a large group of men and women. Friends like to go on outings outside the city, go hiking, and hold "communist picnics that don't distinguish between you and me", drink in big bowls, eat meat in big pieces, and share apples in big scales.After drinking and eating, they roared in the mountains and forests, or lamented that life was "really boring". Apparently, girls in the north don't have the "bad air" of the south, but only "proud air".Most of them are cheerful, natural and generous, carefree, "heartless".Not only do I not take things to heart, but I also firmly believe that others are the same.When they go to other people's homes, they can laugh and laugh, fight and laugh with other people's husbands, and they are as close as family members, regardless of whether the other's wife will be "jealous".Of course, he doesn't care about what he eats, drinks and wears.Of course, they also have high-end and brand-name clothing, but most of these purchases are based on a whim, and rarely after careful calculation.There may even be such a situation, several friends will buy back clothes of the same fabric and style, because it is enough for "sisters", and this is obviously uneconomical in the eyes of Shanghai girls - with this money , it is better to buy a fabric style for each. However, Beijing girls who dress sloppily and eat sloppily are "aesthetic" when choosing a partner.They adhere to the "manly" standard, and pay less attention to practical issues such as whether they have housing or whether they know how to do housework, or put them on the back burner. "Isn't it just housing? What can't be done?" As for housework, it doesn't matter.It’s better if everyone doesn’t know how to cook, so they just eat in the cafeteria, and when they can’t stand it, they go to the restaurant: “Isn’t it just boiled mutton? It’s only half a month’s salary if you’re full!” Corresponding to this kind of "proudness", the northern girls' shaping of their own image is of course not a "baby sister", but many of them are "tomboys". I have a joking definition of the characteristics of "tomboys": "talk upside down, be careless in doing things, make friends nonsense, and be gossiped about." The first two sentences of course refer to their personalities: hot-tempered, rough-and-tumble , carefree, bluffing, no rules, no rules; the so-called "friends are not three or four", of course, does not mean that they make friends with bad people, but that they do not have so many taboos and guards when interacting with others. The right road, the character bond, and all contacts with them, this is exactly their bold side.What the bold "tomboys" hate and despise the most are "stingy" and "sick".Not stingy is of course "generous", but often even abandons traditional virtues such as thrifty housekeeping, careful planning, frugality, and long-term flow; not being sour is of course "handsome", but often even feminine characteristics such as elegance, gentleness, subtlety, and delicacy are also discarded. Lose all.In addition, they all dislike "housekeeping" quite unanimously, and disdain to learn cooking and needlework.It is entirely possible for them to make their own room messy and messy, with things thrown around, quilts not folded, things they need can not be found, and things they don't use are everywhere.They don’t even care about their own body, appearance, and clothing. They eat and drink, eat and drink, eat fat and silly, and then wear a t-shirt with the words: “Don’t talk to me, don’t worry! ” Or: “I never wanted to get married!” It is inevitable that "people will make irresponsible remarks". In 1988, American writer Zhao Haosheng wrote an article in "China Youth Daily", exclaiming that "China's greatest sorrow is that there are no women." I think this mainly refers to those "tomboys", and mainly refers to their In terms of virtues such as being rude, bluffing, rude, speaking aggressively, and being like an "old aunt" when you speak. In fact, even without these "tomboys", Chinese people generally feel that "women are becoming less and less like women." There are folk songs everywhere, such as "women are worse than men" or "girls are worse than boys" .The "badness" mentioned here may be of two kinds: one refers to the degeneration of morality, such as "a man becomes bad when he has money, and a woman becomes rich when she is bad"; The "badness" of temperament and endowment.The latter kind of "bad" conclusions are often drawn by comparing traditional images of women.This shows that the situation of Chinese women has indeed undergone greater changes than men in this century, and this change cannot be simply described as "bad" or "good", although it is often summed up in such a simple way .Therefore, it is also necessary for us to make a simple review and review of the changes in women in the twentieth century.