There are men and women in China. But it is a pity that at certain times and in certain aspects, Chinese men seem a little less like men; Chinese women also seem a little less like women. This is not very pleasant, and may be regarded as crazy.Unfortunately, this seems to be true. If Chinese men are all like men, why are there calls for "looking for men"?If Chinese women are all like women, why is there such a saying "Where are all Chinese women gone"? Of course, it's just "somewhat", just "not quite like", just "sometimes" and "certain aspects", but it's not so yin and yang, "neither male nor female", and "not" It is not "all of them" or "always like this".

But that's pretty silly enough.Because the Chinese cultural tradition has always attached importance to the relationship between the sexes, emphasizing the "difference between men and women". Emphasize it, but the south is the opposite and the north is the same. Unexpectedly, things backfired, resulting in perverse phenomena such as "men cry, women scold the street", or "women are not attractive, men are prone to impotence" Isn't it ironic, isn't it a joke? If it's just a joke, it's fine.What's worse, as a direct reflection of the basic quality of the people, it has already affected the prosperity of the country and the prosperity of the nation.Because a prosperous country can only be built by civilized citizens, and a prosperous nation can only be composed of healthy people.If men are not like men, the country will not exist; if women are not like women, how can the clan survive?For more than a hundred years, our nation has suffered a lot of disasters.The cause of the disaster is of course well known to all: the Western powers were to blame for the century-old bloody war; Lin Biao and Jiang Qing were to blame for the ten-year turmoil.However, many people are like dogs and sheep when facing great powers, and like tigers and wolves when facing their compatriots. Is it more or less related to the aforementioned "men are not much like men, and women are not much like women"?

It seems that it is really difficult for us to avoid this problem.Not only can we not solve the problem, but we must study it early and solve it as soon as possible. Obviously, this requires a series of work.For example, to know what our men and women are like, we have to figure out what our relationships are like; and to figure out what our relationships are like, we have to study what our culture is like of.Because people are cultural beings.The difference between human beings and animals is that human beings can only live in a certain culture.In this sense, what kind of culture there is, what kind of people there are, and what kind of men and women there are.

However, before we unravel this cultural mystery, we should first take a look at whether the so-called "mistakes" of the Chinese are a fact. Because only facts speak louder than words. Let's look at men first. Chinese men, or men in traditional Chinese society, or men who are described, represented, admired, appreciated, and portrayed as "positive images" in ancient Chinese operas and novels, generally There are no more than three categories. The first category, we might as well call it "useless men". This kind of artistic image is the so-called "white flour scholar" or "butter niche".For example, Xu Xian in "The Legend of the White Snake", Dong Yong in "The Legend of the White Snake", Zhang Sheng in "The Butterfly Lovers", Liang Shanbo in "The Butterfly Lovers", etc.Their common characteristics are thin skin and tender flesh, milky voice, sentimental, fragile, unable to lift shoulders, unable to lift hands, no assertiveness, easy to coax, can be said to be quite "feminine".On the opera stage, actors who play such roles have to rap in falsetto with high-pitched voices, which sounds no different from Danjiao, which shows that even the voice is feminine.Their appearance is even more feminine, with red lips and white teeth, eyes like autumn water, and eyebrows like Qingdai, not much different from the makeup of danjiao.Sometimes, such as the traditional Yue opera, or the contemporary Taiwanese TV series "Legend of the White Snake", they simply use actresses to play such roles, and people don't think there is anything unnatural or wrong after watching it, let alone I feel that it is different from the character itself.The reason, I am afraid, is that the character was originally a "feminine man".

The "feminine man" is played by an actress, of course it will not be "unlike", on the contrary, it can add a bit of "charm" that makes people love, love, and love. In fact, in China, there are indeed many audiences who like this kind of characters, especially women in southern China, and some men in southern China. It is proof that plays like "Legend of the White Snake" have been performed for a long time.This kind of opera show was once defined by some of our "theoreticians" kindly as "an ode to love", but we really can't see anything "cute" about the male protagonists in it.The reason why they can "turn all living beings upside down" is nothing more than their delicate faces and weak personalities.Either the teeth are like white jade, the face is like a peach blossom, or the waist is like a willow, and the voice is like a young phoenix.I'm afraid there is no "market" for this kind of image in the West or the Arab world, but the Chinese love to see it.Not only do women look at it with a secret heart, but even men feel pity for me when they see it, or hate being inferior to him.

Seriously speaking, this kind of hobby is really not a good thing.It is certainly not a good thing for women to like "feminine men", because it only proves that they are somewhat unfeminine.It's probably not a good thing for men to like "feminine men", because it also only proves that they are somewhat less like men, and may even be suspected of being "homosexual" to some extent.Because this kind of male image with slender body, white skin and tender flesh, and no beard is more or less like "child molestation".And since ancient times, men who have had the "goodness of Longyang" often have their sex partners with this kind of "little boy".But these issues, we will discuss later, now might as well analyze this kind of man first.In other words, analyze how and why this type of role is "unlike a man".

The first common feature of these characters is "timid and fearful".Dong Yong in the movie is a very timid person.On his way to the rich man's house to "work", he met the Seven Fairies, and the first thing he thought of was "the old father once told me when he was alive that men and women talk a lot about right and wrong".In order to avoid "right and wrong", he adopted the method of "detour": "If you don't take the big road, I will take the small road." If you can't get around, you have to bite the bullet and go forward to negotiate: "Sister, why are you delaying my poor work? Unexpectedly, a word from the Seventh Fairy made him speechless: "The road is facing the sky, and everyone goes on each side. Could it be that you can walk, but I can't stand?" God bless!Fortunately, Dong Lang met a fairy.If the person blocking the way is a robber, what should he do?

Such a timid person, of course, can't talk about actively pursuing love and happiness.In fact, his union with the Seventh Fairy was entirely the other party's "wishful thinking", even compulsive.He himself pushes and pushes, hides and hides, until finally the "miracle" appears, the old locust tree "speaks" and acts as a matchmaker to testify, and then he accepts this "unexpected" marriage.This shows that he only believes in "God's will", and has no confidence in his own abilities at all.Therefore, when the Seven Fairies later bet with the rich man on weaving brocade in order to reduce their slavery (reducing the term of long-term work from three years to a hundred days), he not only couldn't help at all, but instead kept complaining in the mill that "the lady is too busy." ".Complaining that "the lady is troublesome" just proves that he is "cowardly and afraid of getting into trouble".

Being timid and afraid of getting into trouble can be said to be a "common problem" of such characters.On the stage of Chinese opera, we do not often see such scenes: in the face of an incident, the woman wants to stand up and fight, but the husband hides behind her or stops in front of her, trembling all over, shaking his hands, yelling repeatedly. "I can't do it, I can't do it, my lady, I can't do it!" Or else my eyes are wide open, my teeth are clenched, my face is pale, I yelled, passed out, and fell straight to the ground. Xu Xian in "The Legend of the White Snake" was frightened to death like this once, and the white lady had no choice but to steal the fairy grass while she was pregnant.

"Stealing Immortal Grass" is a very good play in "The Legend of the White Snake". It can often be performed as a stand-alone play, but unfortunately people often forget that this "good show" is based on a man's timidity and incompetence of. However, then again, these few people are not the only ones who are timid and afraid of getting into trouble, it should be said that it is almost a "common problem" of us Chinese.Because we Chinese have been educated since childhood to be cautious, take precautions, and don't meddle in other people's business and provoke right and wrong.What is "eating to prevent choking, walking to prevent falls", what is "melon fields and plums, pay attention to avoid suspicion", etc.You dare not let go of such trivial things as eating and walking, let alone other things?

The second common feature of such characters is "little knowledge".There is an old saying in China that goes "long hair but short knowledge".In fact, Chinese men may not be more knowledgeable than women.In history, in reality, or in literary and artistic works, it is not difficult for us to see such "grandfathers": they are bossy and majestic on weekdays, and they look like they are governing the country in peace and prosperity. What happened to Gedi, I'm sorry, either I want my wife to make up my mind, or ask the maid for a solution, I have no knowledge at all.Even an emperor like Tang Gaozong (Li Zhi) simply handed over the affairs of state to his wife (Wu Zetian). If the "Long Live God" is like this, how can we be demanding of the common people? As for the kind of characters we are going to talk about now, of course, they don't have any great insights.Among such characters, Zhang Sheng and Zhang Junrui are the most courageous ones.He has the courage to pursue his ideal person, pursue his own love and happiness, and even more dare to pursue it. In times of crisis, he stepped forward to break the siege of Pujiu Temple and retreat from Feihu's army.He also has a plan, and can think of various ways to get close to Yingying; and to save the Cui family's calamity, it all depends on his strategy of slowing down the army.It should be said that among this kind of "butter boy", he is quite chivalrous and capable of strategizing. Compared with Dong Yong and Xu Xian, he is much more capable. However, even this romantic talent and rescue hero is just a "fool" in front of the matchmaker.He was in Pujiu Temple, but when he saw Yingying by chance, his "spirit flew in the sky", only heard Cui Yingying's coquettish words, and shouted "I will die", "It's okay if Xiaosheng doesn't go to the capital to apply for the exam." .When I saw the matchmaker for the second time, I hurriedly reported my family name: "Xiaosheng's surname is Zhang, his name is Gong, and his style name is Junrui. He is from Xiluo. He is only 23 years old. He was born on the 17th day of the first lunar month. Taking a wife" Yunyun, he was so stupid, of course, he was robbed by the matchmaker, making his head ashamed, so boring.Afterwards, when the matchmaker explained this to the young lady, she also commented: "Sister, I don't know what he is thinking, there are such fools in the world!" If Zhang Sheng's "stupid" at this time is still cute and silly, then when the old lady repented of the marriage, his helplessness can only make people worry.He had no way to deal with the old lady, so he had to kneel in front of the matchmaker, while admitting that he was "exhausted in wisdom and wanting to be poor", while pleading: "Little lady, how can I feel sorry for Xiaosheng, and express this meaning to the young lady. Take off the belt before the little lady, and find someone to kill herself.” This is quite ignorant.No wonder the matchmaker wanted to teach him: "The street is such a cheap firewood, burn you silly corner." In fact, it was this courageous, knowledgeable and daring matchmaker who brought Cui Zhang's love tragedy back to life.If it hadn't been for the matchmaker's repeated design, which would have contributed to their de facto marriage, cooked "raw rice" into "cooked rice", and used a set of arguments that appeared to be for the sake of the old lady's face, but actually fought for Cui Zhang's love to persuade them. (The level of the speech is comparable to that of Su Qin and Zhang Yi, so "Kaohong" is also one of the most exciting episodes), so the love between Cui and Zhang is probably not "a good thing that takes time". , but can only be "Alas". No wonder Zhang Sheng knelt down to the matchmaker again and again, worshiped again and again, thanked him again and again, and claimed that "he should build an altar to worship the general". The third common feature of such characters is "weakness".As I have said before, they are all white-faced scholars or young butchers, with delicate skin and tender flesh, with a baby voice, they cannot lift their shoulders or hands, and they will never be anyone's opponent in a fight.Therefore, when something happens to them, their skills are nothing more than kneeling, crying, and getting sick. In the end, they can only rely on women or knights who have moved their hearts of compassion to come to the rescue.Even Zhang Junrui, the most courageous, would have had a precarious future if he hadn't been escorted by an "iron buddy" Du Que who was "officially named Marshal of Zhengxi and commanded an army of 100,000". Perhaps, because they are so weak, they often seek protection under the wings of women.Dong Yong relied on the care of the Seven Fairies, Xu Xian relied on the White Lady for help, Zhang Sheng relied on the help of the Matchmaker, Liang Shanbo was unlucky, and no woman came to rescue him (Zhu Yingtai herself was incapable of doing so), so he died in the end.However, women's abilities are so limited, and women's status is so humble, there is no way out, so we have to set them as "Nine Heavens Profound Girls" or "Millennium Immortals" first, so that they can "rescue the suffering".I used to wonder why the beautiful, virtuous and powerful Jade Girl and Snake Fairy married Dong Yong and Xu Xian, who were clumsy, wimpy and lacking in charm?Now I understand: It turns out that it is the "sacred mission" of women to protect and rescue men.No wonder Guanyin Bodhisattva, who was originally a male in India, had to change into a female in order to save the suffering when he came to China. Strength should have been a masculine trait.A real man should be strong, resolute, and powerful.In other words, there must be "masculinity".Of course, the "strength" mentioned here does not only refer to physical strength, but also refers to intelligence.In other words, it mainly refers to willpower, including the power of thought and concentration often said in ancient China.But those characters who kneel and cry at every turn must not have such power.A man who has no strength should have no charm, yet he can win the hearts of the people, this is really strange!Zhang Junrui in the movie even thinks that he is "sorrowful and sick", which is the capital that can match Cui Yingying's "beauty of the country and the city", which is even more unbelievable.According to this logic, the love of us Chinese is not "beauties love heroes", but "beauties love patients", isn't it a morbid psychology?Naturally, there are profound cultural reasons for this, so let's press it for now and leave it for later. The fourth common characteristic of such characters is "fear of responsibility" or "irresponsibility".This is worse than timidity.If you are timid and afraid of getting into trouble, you will only "harm yourself" (you dare not pursue the happiness that belongs to you), but you will "defraud others" if you are irresponsible (the sins you have committed have to be borne by others).It's a pity that men who lack a sense of responsibility are not uncommon in ancient Chinese love stories. As I said before, many of the male protagonists in our stories are "timid and afraid of getting into trouble".People who are timid and afraid of getting into trouble are of course also afraid of responsibility.Or to be more precise, their timidity is originally because they are afraid of responsibility.It is precisely because I am afraid of being responsible that I dare not "provoke trouble", or rather, it is still a manifestation of a sense of responsibility. Therefore, Dong Yong was irresponsible for the "gambling" between the seven fairies and the rich man, and it was "excusable", because it was originally "a woman who is troublesome".However, strictly speaking, a real man should even take on the responsibility of "lady troublesome".Because the husband and wife are one body, misfortunes, blessings, honors and disgraces, they are originally related to each other, and they should share the same hatred and go to the family together.What's more, a man should take more responsibility for his family?Therefore, in view of Dong Yong's original "timid and fearful", we don't have to condemn him, but it is also true that he is "unlike a man". However, the irresponsibility of others is completely "unforgivable".For them, the question is no longer "like a man", but "is a man".For example, Zhang Sheng in Yuan Zhen's "Hui Zhen Ji" (also known as "Hui Zhen Ji").This person is an out-and-out hypocrite. On the surface, he is "sanctified", but in fact he is full of bad things.Because of his sanctimonious appearance, he survived until he was twenty-two years old, and he was still "never close to a woman." From this point of view, his tolerance and determination are not bad.However, when she saw Cui Yingying, she was fascinated and couldn't control herself (it can be seen that the words "not lustful" are all lies), and finally tried every means and scheming to get Yingying.However, Zhang Sheng's hateful thing is not here, but that he adopted a completely irresponsible attitude of "starting chaos and finally abandoning her" towards Cui Yingying's promise of body.What's even worse is that he is quite proud of his behavior of treachery, harming others and benefiting himself, calling it "forbearance", and saying in a straightforward manner, "Everything that is ordered by heaven does not demonize her body, but must demonize others. ", to push all the responsibility for the crime on the victim, which is not only unmanly, it is simply unhuman.Perhaps it is because it is "too outrageous", so this image, in Dong Jieyuan's "The West Chamber" and Wang Shifu's Zaju, has become a different person. Count the spirit of man. It should be said that on the issue of the relationship between men and women, it is the best way to tell whether a man looks like a man.It is not only manifested in "sexual ability" (eunuchs do not have this ability, they are not considered men), but also in "sense of responsibility".A sexual relationship is a two-person affair, and should be shared by both.But because women are originally weak, and men are often active in attacking suitors in sexual behavior, so men should take more responsibility.If a man actually puts all the blame on the woman, or uses the woman as a scapegoat or victim when he is going to be punished after an accident, then no matter how good his other skills are, he should be said to be "not a man". ".