Chapter 20 winter hallucinations

- This winter is like a beautiful illusion. Two past lives and present lives. This seems to be a Susu book.I remember that I bought it and was taken away by Xiao A before I finished reading it.I didn't see what was written on the last page.I am a person who cares about the ending. If I watch a TV series without seeing the finale, I will not be reconciled to anything.But I just didn't see the end of this book.Strange. I often wonder what my past life would have been like.There is no doubt that I am a human being in this life, the answer is ironclad.Ironclad things don't appeal to me much.But no one can give me a standard answer about the past life.I always like to think about things that I can never figure out.I am a strange person.

I know that Xi Murong once wrote some beautiful sentences, what in the previous life I was a woman who wrote poems by the sand, in the previous life I was the lotus that you missed under your wrist, in the previous life I was a tree by your road, in the previous life I am the lamp that prays for you in front of the Buddha.But she is her and I am me, and I clearly know that I cannot be such a delicate thing.Maybe in my previous life I was a small grain of sand in the Sahara or a big rock on the Flaming Mountain. The previous life told me: In fact, in your previous life, you were a pointer on the face of a clock, turning in circles alone, watching time go by and never return while turning, and you can do nothing.

The third previous life was a relatively regular netizen of mine.he is very smart.I first met him because he wanted to get some of my articles to his website, and he sent me an e-mail to tell me responsibly. He was originally a poet in his previous life, so he would throw some fragmented images over from time to time when chatting.For example, "The Butter Lamp Singing for Chastity", "Ten Fingers Pierce the Pupil" and so on. In my previous life, I was a willful person, sometimes childish, and I was also naughty.The repertoire between us is to see who can make the most MMs on QQ say "I love you" to themselves within half an hour.

I look down on girls who put on an innocent look online.When a person with a Qiongyao-style online name asks you if you are handsome and can you send a photo before chatting with you, what else do you want to do besides spraying water and rice, and I always It was very gentlemanly to tell her: You must look beautiful in a white dress standing on the snow in the North Pole - a very tactful version of "you go to hell".But there are a lot of people who are stupid enough to say: Really?How do you know I look good in a skirt?After finishing speaking, he came over with a few smiley faces.After spraying all the water and rice, I wanted to smash the computer.

4. I am a lonely person, and a lonely person is shameful, so I am a lonely and shameful person.Zero birth in the dark night.Shu Ting's poems. When the night swelled again and again with a stubborn posture, the boundless darkness either made me stiff or my blood boiled, and this state was very hysterical, and I knew it. The previous life said: The floating duckweed has no roots, the broken kite has no care, the homeless flowing water has no feet, and the lonely Guo Jingming has no soul.He always stabbed me so sharply that many times I had to turn off the computer, then drink a large cup of hot water and say to myself: Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, sleep well tonight, sleep well tonight.But things backfired.I feel a little sad, but innocuous, like the tail of a comet sweeping gently across the earth.

Those who persist in waking up in the dark represent the last persistence of human beings, but such people are often the first to die.The words of the great man. 5. I asked God: How can I laugh at sad things and forget them at the same time? God replied: drive yourself crazy. Six North by Northwest Sheep and horses are very dark You drink and cry North by Northwest Get Lanzhou drunk Get Lanzhou drunk You have no place to live Your mother with the surname Ma is calling you My return to my heart and lungs "Show it to the previous life. After reading it in the previous life, I typed a line: Xiaoyin is not a human being.At that time, I thought that if I sat in front of me in the previous life, I would definitely throw the coffee in my hand at him.But then he typed a line: It's so damn well written.I laughed, and then I thought that if I sat in front of me in the previous life, I would definitely offer coffee to him, and then tell him: You are my bosom friend.

Me: You used to write poetry too, why did you stop? Him: Because my fingers are no longer faithful to my mind. Me: Your fingers lost their virginity, hehe. Him: Wet by the tears of the girl I had sex with, hehe. Me: But that girl is not Annie baby, hehe, little bastard. Him: You're right, hey, little bastard. I laughed out loud in front of the computer, looking a little creepy at midnight. What Mecca, what sisters, what made it hard for you to fall asleep, the river’s sheep’s lamp-lit mouth, I sang the Qur’an at night and made a confession, whose solitude is like a knife killing the water of the Yellow River, killing the water of the Yellow River, who is this loneliness? To destroy a man is to drive him mad.

But I've been crazy for so long why doesn't God destroy me?This is a problem. Eight I like to sit on the sunny balcony, hold a thick English dictionary in my arms, squint my eyes in the dazzling sunlight, and calmly read those long entries one by one.This is the quietest and most normal time of my day.I once said to my friends that I am actually a quiet person in my bones, but occasionally I am inexplicably noisy.But my friend told me that you are actually a loud person in your bones, but occasionally quiet for no reason.I don't know who is right and who is wrong.I am decisive and confident when I solve other people's problems, but my judgment becomes vulnerable when the situation is closed.

On the balcony opposite my house, there is often a female middle school student with long thin braids. She always seems to be reciting some boring English grammar aloud, and she is usually wrong.However, her expression when reading a foreign language is really pious, like a Tibetan prostrate on a pilgrimage mountain road.To be honest, she looks a bit like my deskmate Xiaoxi in junior high school.Her name seems to be Ye Xiaoxi, but I don't quite remember.But I clearly remember that Xiaoxi also had two thin braids, and when he read English, he bit his tongue because he gnashed his teeth too much.But memory is a pile of fragments scattered on the ground, and it takes me a lot of time to put it together, and now I don't have an eraser or anything like that to remind me of her at the same table.

So I only thought that the female middle school student opposite was like Xiaoxi, and I didn't think of calling her to say hello.Besides, the phone number has been lost, lost on a certain evening of a certain day of a certain year. On a certain day in a certain month of a certain year, Grandma Xiong's fried chestnuts in sugar. I became interested in the old lady who sold sugar-fried chestnuts in Hebian. I thought her sugar-fried chestnuts might be the same as Grandma Xiong’s.So I bought a pack to see what number I would die on. It turned out that after I ate an entire packet I was still happily wandering the streets, wagging my head and tail like a prenatally excited fish.Last night the westerly wind withered the green trees.The tall plane trees beside the road began to drop their leaves crazily. Since there was no wind, the leaves fell straight one by one, which was very scary.The sunlight fell to the ground brokenly from among the branches, spreading into a layer of light golden oil paint with a blurred light, like a thick layer of ashes.

I was secretly surprised by my analogy. I thought it was because I had read too many poems about my previous life and Xiaoyin, and I was a little poisoned.An hour after eating the chestnuts, I was sure I had no ill effects or signs of intoxication.I ate Grandma Xiong's sugar-fried chestnuts, which was a disaster. And I didn't die, so I must have future blessings. Smart people are good at comforting themselves at the right time at the right place.I'm not stupid. Ten I started to fall in love with someone, but I don't know if that person loves me. People say this is unrequited love. The previous life said that this is called the failure of the search for ribs. Eleven This winter is extremely abominable, not only cold, but also humid.Fistfuls of water molecules hang in the air, catching every opportunity to penetrate the skin.I can clearly feel what stays between my bones, which is the coldness and stickiness like the surface of a poisonous snake's skin. I started curling up on the couch for long periods of time while cranking up the heat incredibly high.My father said that this month's electricity bill is a problem.So I paid the electricity bill with three remittance slips, and then continued to raise the temperature openly. I think people actually need hibernation too.I told this idea to my previous life, and he said: You are very good at making excuses for your laziness.So I'm ready to go offline.He asked why and I said I was going to hibernate. During dinner yesterday, my mother talked about my future life again.She would never understand that living in this lazy city was actually a kind of slow suicide.She always told me, you see, living here is very comfortable. Except for the reporters who are busy, everyone else lives a good life. Even when they are at work, they can browse newspapers, surf the Internet, sip good tea and brag. But I always have a tendency to break out. The life in the distance is like a big attractive puzzle, waiting for me to create a perfect one.My willful and dying persistence always made my mother's eyes dim again and again until N times.I think I am a not very filial child.I swore that I would stay by my mother's side in the next life, not leaving, not taking a single step. Twelve, half a year after our division of arts and sciences, after we had completely forgotten about history and politics, after we couldn’t even remember the time of the Opium War and what is the value of a commodity, the school told us that we were going to take the comprehensive exam of liberal arts and sciences.Then the science students started laughing happily, because they thought everything would be fine if they stayed up for a few nights.Liberal arts students began to drop their notebooks and pens, and began to turn their backs on their backs.Little A is a liberal arts student, and the way he asked me "how should I make up for chemistry" really made me feel distressed. A week ago, I was still thinking about whether to give up science, and then happily plunge into liberal arts.Well now, I don't have to suffer anymore because I don't have a choice, because there is no choice.Not having a choice is actually a great happiness.I remember who said that. Thirteen This winter is like a beautiful illusion. I feel that I am always in a state of suspension, which makes me panic.The thick calendar is getting thinner and thinner, but more and more words are stored in the computer. My computer is home to my dearest writing, and documents are a gorgeous junkyard full of all sorts of gaudy-looking crap.As I cleaned them up one by one, I felt like a happy little beggar. This winter, this winter is as vague as movie music, this winter is as noisy as Van Gogh's colors.This beautiful illusion that never comes back. In the increasingly bright spring, it is really gone and never looked back.