Chapter 10 graduation song

I still remember two years ago when I watched "Carrying Love Through to the End", I saw Ruotong and Yang Zheng shouting "We graduated!" to the camera together when I was drinking water, seeing their sunny and clear smiles, I feel that happiness is so simple and hits the target. The pure water flows down the throat and flows to the deepest and deepest place, whirling and solidifying.At that time, I was only in the first year of high school, and imagining the phoenix flower in full bloom when I graduated from the third year of high school, it was so far away from me.Even though it was far away, I ran over without hesitation, like Kuafu, and hobbled down towards the result that was destined to be painted with the tragic and coquettish colors like Van Gogh's paintings.

Then the days passed by so unhurriedly.The poet said: When we look back and stop, we will all be amazed, because we think that only one day has passed, but we don't know that a year has passed. A certain magazine said that graduation is like a windowpane. I wiped the cold shards and walked over one by one without avoiding them. Looking back, it was just a piece of debris on the ground; On the afternoon after the foreign language test, I walked out of the test room very calmly. The sun was dazzling and even dazzling. For a moment, the passion and arrogance I had expected were far away from me. I felt that my 19 years of life were under the sun. Being easily penetrated, when I thought that everything was over, I felt so sad in my heart.Surrounded by turbulent crowds, excitement and frustration flowed across the campus ground like cold and warm currents. I saw the young faces and colorful expressions around me, and thought of theirs and mine. The countless tired nights spent under the orange desk lamp , the lonely star above the head, the sadness gradually dies out.

I thought I would never forget the third year of high school, I thought I could recall every day or even every hour at any time, just like looking at my palm prints, every detail.But only now, on the third day after the end of the college entrance examination, I already feel vague about those inexplicably sad nights, like a glass window in a thick fog, and the world outside has become a blur of water vapor, only a feeling of sadness, repeatedly. Again and again and again and again. All I can remember is the conscientiously bound test papers in my schoolbag, with my serious blue ink and more serious red ink on it. I always read them tirelessly as I read novels a few years ago.All I can remember is the thick reference books on my desk, most of which I didn’t have time to do, but I still bought them one by one, Wei Wei said it was to satisfy the guilt in her heart, and to atone for wasting time.But what surprised me was that I could clearly remember the name of each book, and even the arrangement of knowledge chapters in each book.It's just that I gave them all away on the day I finished the college entrance examination. I didn't have the courage to face them and those blank exercises, for fear that regret would haunt my future life.I can still remember the phone calls of the teachers of various subjects. During the ten-day vacation before the college entrance examination, I always called them, and after their detailed explanations, they gently encouraged me to say: don't be nervous.I remember my mock exam rankings, the panic when I filled out my application, the sadness when I gave up my ideals, the taste of Nescafe coffee, the lonely brilliance of the stars at midnight, and the card I put in the photo frame that said: Evennowthereisstillhopeleft.

Remember despair and hope, fighting each other. graduated.Played two nights in a row, a large group of friends, beer shaken, opened, foam everywhere, deserted streets at midnight, karaoke hoarse sound. In fact, it was different from what I had imagined for graduation. I thought everyone had enough passion, ecstatic as if they had escaped from death.But everyone seemed to be losing energy, Wei Wei said that the more she played, the more empty she felt, until she was at a loss for what to do.Everyone was singing, and I told her a story amidst the noisy singing, there was only a beginning and an ending, but no end, because I forgot, and even I myself forgot what I was talking about after I told it, and only knew what was in my story. The plains of Mesopotamia repeatedly appeared, and Wei Wei said that she would make this story into a movie in the future—provided she had a lot of money.

Later we sang, until tears came out.I don't know whether to be happy or sad, or neither, and it's even more sad. The feeling of sleeping in an open-air park makes me feel like a homeless man, reminding me of the idiom I have learned: the sky is covered with the ground.The starry sky above looked extraordinarily empty and huge, and it felt like the sky would really fall down if the street lights and neon were not struggling to prop up the black sky.The surrounding wind is hot and stuffy with a nasty sticky moisture on a summer night.Everyone didn't talk much when they were tired of playing.When CKJ and I were sleeping head to head on the bench, I suddenly remembered a lot of things, and every scene was like a movie.I suddenly remembered those hot and impetuous youthful days in the movie, a period of silhouette time, those confused, lonely and angry children seemed to be the same as us.An immature face, bright young eyes, a silent smile, bright scars, and a lonely figure watching the train on the platform.It seems that our youth is gradually fermented in such noise and tranquility, hope and disappointment, excitement and depression, happiness and sadness, or becomes mellow like wine.Or rotting beyond control.The moment I turned my head once, I saw Wei Wei and ABO talking about something on the bench opposite us. ABO looked very sad, but Wei Wei lowered his head and did not speak. I wanted to ask, but I forgot .

I was reminded again about the parting that had been discussed and has been discussed.The friends around me changed and pulled again and again, everyone gathered together one after another, and then some left in a hurry, and some stayed by my side all the time.I was like a lost child standing on a zebra crossing. The noise, speed, and crowds all disrupted my thoughts and memories. There used to be a saying: A person must learn to choose in his own memory, then he can always be happy. I learned to choose and made the worst choices.I choose to remember the lonely evenings filled with cold rain and the lonely mornings in the cold and windy weather in my life.I remembered the sadness in my life that made me down, but I didn't remember those warm eyes and soft voices.I am a loser.And the stars in the sky are bright and flow forever.

Little A said that he recalled that the first feeling he had after graduating from high school was to see the dazzling sunshine, the rich green shade and the blooming phoenix flowers.Little A doesn't have a yearbook because he doesn't have many friends, and neither do I, but it's not because he doesn't have friends.I have forgotten the reason why I chose not to write the graduation yearbook. I just feel that if we want to forget each other, then those beautiful pages that will eventually turn yellow will not be able to save the memory of forgetting, and if we miss each other, then even if there is no contact, Still warm.

In the days before we graduated and left, the school radio played those slightly dark school ballads repeatedly.In the last few days, Wei Wei and I counted down by the lake and we could still see a few sunsets on campus.Those warm but mournful sunsets cut our postures into mournful silhouettes and left them in the floral-scented air. "You said that whenever you see the red sunset again, and whenever you hear the evening bell again, the bits and pieces of the past will surge up in my sad heart before it's too late." Many people started to take pictures, but I didn't.Wei Wei said that we should take pictures sometime, and I said yes.But he kept talking like this, and no one said it out. Siping was afraid that once the photos were taken, everyone would go their separate ways, and there would be no reason to get together again.I walk under the tall and straight camphor every day, and when I look up, I always think that I am leaving, and the sadness fills me.

On the day of the graduation photo shoot, CKJ stood next to me, and I stood next to Xiaojiezi, and when I pressed the shutter, a flash flashed, and it was frozen. Our senior year.Our nineteen.The day we played ball and played games.Our youth on bicycles.For a moment, and for eternity.