Chapter 5 pop flowers

As I write this article, I have just returned from a make-up class at the teacher's house.Along the way, the lights were brilliant, and the material life of the city was flying in front of my eyes, just like the flowers blooming all over the sky this spring. For a moment, I thought of Duras's material life, and then I smiled and continued to move forward. I passed a square on the road, where some young children were skating, and I heard the real sound of the wheels rubbing against the concrete floor. One of the children hummed a strange melody loudly. I knew it was "Sick Doctor" The song in "Heavy Makeup", there is a saying on the cover of that album that I admire very much, "Only this album will be handed down to the world".I don't know why, but I suddenly thought of Little A, maybe because the figures of those young children are too similar to our original time, playing outside all night and all night, and then returning home happily at dawn.

It’s just that now Xiao A is studying in university in Japan, and I am studying in the third year of high school in China, and I am almost desperate. I found myself making a fatal mistake when I started referring to kids my age as young kids, as if I had died young myself.When I found this, I couldn't help but leaned down, I wanted to see if there were traces of my growth on the ground, and to see if that trace had spread forward a lot quietly.Because I am only eighteen years old.I should still call myself a child. Little A kept calling back from Japan, international long-distance calls, the signal was surprisingly poor, I could vaguely hear those low-pitched Japanese from the phone diffused around him.He said how are you doing?I said it was fine.He said it's okay, I'm afraid you will be unhappy.

After putting down the phone, I said slowly, I am actually very tired, but what is the use of telling you. Then I saw the flowers in the sky flying into the residential area, and they fell silently on my shoulders.They seem to fly from far away, bringing hints that I can't understand but can feel. It has been half a month since school started, and my life is running forward peacefully, like a quiet river, and it continues day after day. I am now living in a teacher's house, with my own room, and the greatest freedom I can imagine at this stage.Logically speaking, I should be very happy, and I am really happy.But behind every smile, I have the exhaustion that only I can feel, like a very shallow scar on the skin with a very thin blade, that faint but delicate and long-lasting pain, sometimes It will be ignored, but sometimes it rushes in front of me in overwhelming numbers, rushing, rushing, I hear the sound of waves and the crackling of seabirds in the sky.

Outside my window is a row of trees with denser and denser leaves standing in the spring breeze. They are tall and straight. When the sunlight penetrates through the branches and leaves, they become small fragments and fall chaotically in front of my window.Like the sound of those guitars scattered in front of my window. Zhuoyou always practiced the guitar outside the window at noon every day, a lot of etudes.Once I saw his hands grow bright cocoons one by one.I've always envied him the endless amount of time he has and, moreover, the freedom he has to pursue his freedom.And my so-called freedom can only be obtained after giving up another period of freedom.Even I don't know if this is a joke.

This spring has given me too many things and also taken away too many things from me, but I don't know which ones are illusions in the water and which ones are the reality in my hands. My seven days in Shanghai became a dream again, a dream I didn't want to wake up from.In the dream, there are Qinghe, grass, Yange, blasting, our figures wandering on the spacious road in the early morning, and our laughter flying all over the sky like flowers. On the fourth day in Shanghai, Qinghe smiled and said to Yan Ge and me at the gate of the subway station that today is the beginning of spring.

Then I quickly looked up at the sky, wondering if there are flowers flying around in my city. During the days when I stayed in Shanghai, the three of us, Yan Ge and Qing He, always walked endlessly every day and took endless subways, frequenting the ground and underground in Shanghai.In my memory, those seven days were abstracted into a bright oil painting, with gorgeous colors and bright light. In a word, it directly pointed to the pure happiness of people's hearts.I seem to be smiling all the time, although I don't have a lot of expression on my face, but I know the joy in my heart.For Yan Ge's innocence, for Qinghe's sincerity, and for Yicao's enthusiasm.Now I still remember the way Qinghe walked out of the toilet at the airport and looked at me with a mobile phone in his hands, and Yan Ge looked at me in People's Square with 800-degree myopia but no glasses The way you look when you say Hi to me.All in all, make me happy.

For example, Qinghe and I walked past the gate of the No. 3 Girls' High School in the city and saw someone taking a photo with the sign that said "Welcome the 4th New Concept Contestants". We were deeply shocked at the same time.For example, on the last day when we left Shanghai, the three of us sat on the carpet in the corridor of the hotel. Occasionally, someone passed by us. The three of us hardly spoke, and occasionally we said a little, and then there was a long silence.Because we all know that tomorrow everyone will leave. When I got home, I saw Qinghe's message to me. She said that that night, she looked at the long corridor and felt that there was almost no end.

In the waiting room of the airport, I called Qinghe to say goodbye to her, but she had turned off her phone.Then I boarded the plane, sat in the seat, took out the CD player, found the CD that Blast gave me, and closed my eyes to listen to the music.But a few seconds later, I suddenly sat up straight because I heard the sound of rock and roll coming from the earphones.I seem to have returned to the days when I was listening to rock and roll all night with Yan Xu, those years that radiated light in the dark.A man next to me was flipping through a very boring airline magazine. The stewardess reminded me to fasten my seat belt. Then, amidst the roar of the plane taking off, and the hysterical cracking and gorgeous rock melody in my ears, I left Shanghai. Take my sadness to an altitude of 9,000 meters.

When I was writing this article, I suddenly heard the postman downstairs calling my name, and then I went down, and the man said that there was a letter for me.I took the envelope from him, and saw the address blasted on it, Shaoyang, Hunan.When I went upstairs, I saw that my computer had switched to the screen saver, and the big white cherry blossoms kept drifting away.Then I opened the blasted letter. Blast is a friend I met when I was playing in Shanghai, and I like him very much.The night after the game, we chatted with a lot of people in our room 505 until one o'clock in the morning.I seldom talk, neither did Blast, curled up on the sofa in one corner of the room, and Blast lay on my bed in the diagonal corner.After everyone dispersed, I stood in front of the window and looked at the furniture store that was brightly lit all night but closed downstairs, and I lamented how extravagant it was.Then I heard Blast say behind me, do you want to sleep? How about we go out for a walk, and then I laughed, and I said that's exactly what I want.

We went out at one o'clock that day, and then wandered on the empty and somewhat deserted street until 5 o'clock. We chatted about music, travel, his life and friends. Occasionally, cars drove by on the street, and the lights of the cars flashed from our faces. shine past.When Baobao and I saw a very luxurious ceramics shop, we both said that we must be rich in the future.I said it would be great if I had money, how far I can travel!Blast looked up to the sky and looked forward to it. If I had money, it would be great. I could buy a room full of CDs.So I thought of Yan Xu, the child who kept dancing on my ceiling, the child who heard the rock music die.So I told him everything I had written in it.During the process of my narration, Bong Pao also kept talking. When I finished speaking, I found out from Bong Pao's words that he was actually more like a child with no direction than Yan Xu.

We walked up and down the overpass, walked through the brightly lit construction site, walked through the quiet garden in the middle of the street that seemed to be haunted, walked through the 24-hour supermarkets, and walked under the never-dark red sky of Shanghai. After 5 o'clock, we ate ramen on the side of the road. At 6 o'clock, we returned to the hotel, and when we pulled up the quilt and prepared to go to sleep, it was already daylight.So I said goodnight to him, and dawn said goodnight.That night, I slept soundly. The next day was the 4th, and we went to the Pine City awards ceremony together.I met Zhou Jianing that day, and we sat quietly in the back row, and then I heard my name in the first prize.The spotlight hurt my eyes again, and I thought it was another beautiful illusion. My plane on the 5th, and the blaster will go back on the night of the 4th.I said can you stay for another day, he thought about it and said I will go to refund the ticket to see if it works.When the awards were over, I came out of the university admissions rooms and went to the McDonald's in Xujiahui to find Qinghe and Yange.Then we go back to the hotel together, because the demolition is waiting for us. As a result, when we went back, the blasting had already gone to the train station.He left me a note saying, don't wait if I don't come back by 8:30.Then he really didn't come back.The three of us sat in the corridor waiting for him until it was nearly midnight.During the period, Bongbo made a phone call and said that he was waiting in line for refunding tickets. I heard the noisy voices of people in the train station and various noises coming out of the phone, but the sound of Blasting was extremely quiet, and then the phone was disconnected for no reason. up. That night I took Qinghe and Yange out to walk the road that I and I walked on the day of blasting, walked up the overpass, walked down the overpass, walked through the brightly lit construction site, walked through the quiet street garden that seemed to be haunted, and walked through the 24 families. A supermarket that is open for hours, walking under the never-dark red sky in Shanghai. Then I came back from Shanghai. On the last day I left, I didn’t even say goodbye to Yan Ge and Qinghe, because Yan Ge’s plane left at 8 o’clock in the morning and left after 6 o’clock, while my plane was at 11:30 o’clock, and When I got to the airport, I was told the flight was delayed. Blast said in the letter: I feel like I am in countless dreams—Shanghai, Changsha, Guangzhou, schools, and small islands. I failed to catch any traces.But I love the feeling of having nothing, and it leaves me clean like someone who's been dead for years: I knew from the start that we were very different—though we shared a lot of hobbies.But there is hope for you, more like me a few years ago.I am with you—walking, watching the night scene, taking the bus. I like you very much, and I can even feel the flesh and blood on your body.But I'm alienating, I want to alienate everything, and at the same time desperately want to grab something to keep.I try to remember and try to forget.I looked at you hard, and I was here very hard. In fact, I died somewhere long ago, lying in all directions, and the stink was unbearable.Everything about you is hard to reach me, hard to burn me. I don't know why I'm saying such a damper—memories are supposed to be nice and warm and vague.I'm as out of place as a dying crappy wizard. At the end of the letter, Blast told me that "Runthrough the Light" was the only song he'd heard a hundred times that still made his hair stand on end. So I found that album and put it on the computer. Back to my life as before, but the school is very affirmed by my grades.When I was walking in the campus full of trees, I would occasionally see poplar flowers flying from the river, flying all over the campus.Those white lonely flights, so like the time I passed by in a hurry, never come back. Never come back.I retraced the campus low-key in a shoulder bag and dyed my hair back to black on my first day of school.I was trudging forward with my university, my mailbox was full of letters, and I didn't have time to answer them.Sometimes when I see the box where I put the letter is covered with dust, the sadness in my heart is a little bit fragmented. After the semester started, I received three CDs of the polar twins from Qinghe, a cello CD from Annie, and materials about Fudan University from Li Meng.I thank them, these friends who care about me. And some other friends who cared about me, they have already left. Xiaobei left this city yesterday to study film and television editing and directing elsewhere. She really chose her ideal. She said that she didn't want to be so tired anymore, because of that thin admission notice.There was no expression on her face when she said this, and I don't know if she was happy or sad, but I seem to vaguely remember that there was a time when Si: Xiaobei loved East China Normal University very much.The day before she left, I lent her my blue lion backpack, but the next day, before we said goodbye, Xiaobei left suddenly.I thought, maybe I'll never see you again. As for Xiao A's departure, Yan Xu's departure, Qi Leming's departure, I think I have written enough. My tablemate Di is a superman, the third in the city, two points less than the first.I really like him.Kindness, silence, cleanliness, and solitude meet all the conditions of a person I admire.He has been encouraging me to take the Fudan exam, and he is still confident when I am not confident. When we were in class, he always wrote a lot of beautiful classical poems for me to read, and then gave me poetry appreciation questions by the way.Once I said that I didn't want to take the Fudan exam, and then he wrote me a sentence "People need to be bold when they are in trouble". Sometimes we don't feel like going to class, so we hunker down on our desks and sleep through the whole class. I suddenly remembered that when I called him in Shanghai, he said loudly to me on the phone, come back quickly, I miss you very much. I was alone on the street in Shanghai when I heard his voice.It was very windy that day, black and bitter.But I feel very warm. When I came back from Shanghai, Di gave me all the test papers in the make-up classes during the holidays.Later, the little prince told me that in fact, many of the test papers were lost when they were handed out, and the lost parts were bought back from the street. The little prince and I have the same sadness, because she wants to go to Tongji University, but I want to go to Fudan University.And those two "things" cannot be called goals for us, they are hopes at most, and they should be called dreams if they are pessimistic.But I'm proving if my dreams can come true. Just like the joke I often make to Di, I tell others that they can keep giving themselves spiritual hints: I can, I can, I really can.Then I can.Every time Di hears me say that, she smiles, with child-like dimples on her face. This article is written in fragments and completely out of order, but it is true.This book is actually written for my friends, Xiao A, Yan Xu, Qi Leming, FOX, Huang Yaoshi, Qinghe, Lin Lan, Blasting, and Di.I looked at my past life and found that they were so far away from me, as far away as watching a dream, and I didn't even know if it was someone else's dream or my own.Especially when I was walking quickly along the base of the wall with my schoolbag full of test papers on my back, when I drank coffee at midnight and quickly wrote ABCD in the reference book, when I could no longer see the ceiling falling down When I saw the soft dust, I was really lost. I feel that some precious things in my life have been left by me in a certain bloody dusk, but I can no longer find that yellowed map. I used to remember that the roads on that map intersected each other, but now I In front of me, why is there only a single-plank bridge covered with thorns? I hope that all people can be happy, and can walk through their respective cities quietly and contentedly, instead of standing at the crossroads with a panicked face, losing all directions. I hope that, as the saying goes, after this July, everything will be fine, everything will be there.If not, at least let me go.After this July.please let me go. I want to say this to all the kids who walk through school with backpacks on their heads and heads down, I wish you all the best.