Chapter 17 Section 4

After the third episode of my "Friends Edition Huyou" was posted, a netizen named "Big Dog" followed up and said, "There is no man in this world who would feel guilty in front of his current girlfriend or wife because of his 'historical problems'. "(to the effect) I deleted this post, because the logic of this post has problems, either "generalization", or "unconditional general theory", depending on the part omitted by "big dog". The so-called "overgeneralization" means that after only seeing a few examples, we are busy making conclusions about "all", "all", "none of them" and "none of them".For example, after only seeing two or three Americans taking drugs, they conclude that "all Americans take drugs"; or only when some people condemn CNN, they conclude that "1.3 billion Chinese are against CNN."

The so-called "unconditional general theory" is to apply a premised conclusion to everyone (or things) without limitation.For example, "everyone should run because running is good for people" makes the mistake of "unconditional general theory", because we know that running may not be good for people with certain diseases. There is no doubt that it is impossible for a "big dog" to read all the men in the world. Even if he reads all the men, he may not know whether he is guilty or not. "Big Dog" later admitted that she only asked a few male friends around her, which shows that her experience is quite limited, and she regards the few men around her as all the men in the world, which is "generalization".

Even if the men around "Big Dog" can represent all the men in the world, it is impossible for her to be sure whether those men are guilty or not. Maybe they are very guilty in front of their wives, but when asked by other women, they will also feel guilty. Grit your teeth and say no guilt.Or they used to be very guilty, but now that they have a bad relationship with their wives, they don't feel guilty anymore.All of these, how can the "big dog" tell the difference?Still unable to distinguish, she concluded that "no man in the world would feel guilty", which shows that there is a problem with her way of thinking.

Generally, people with problematic ways of thinking rarely realize that they have a problem with their thinking. If they can realize it, they may have corrected it long ago, and they will definitely not wait until today.The same is true for this "big dog". Seeing that his post was deleted, he didn't check what was wrong with his post, but complained to the post, sarcastically saying: "Who deleted my post, so guilty?" I have nothing to feel guilty about. I think Alan is guilty because of his "historical issues". I use Ai Huang's words to testify, plus my own reasonable speculation and classic gossip.If "Big Dog" wants to refute me, he can write a "Dog Version of Fudge", using factual reasoning and proof to prove that Allen is not guilty of his "historical problems".It's no use rebutting me in a "no man in this world is guilty" kind of way.

Whether a man feels guilty about his "historical problems" depends on whether the man pursues quantity or quality in love. A man who pursues quantity in love will certainly not feel guilty about his "historical problems". For them, the more sexual partners the better, the more the more they show that they are capable, and the more they have, the more they are worth bragging about.This is a very common phenomenon in mainland China today. Those corrupt officials often have many mistresses. Do you think he really needs so many mistresses to satisfy his physical needs?Or is he really capable of satisfying the physical needs of those mistresses?

Of course not. As Amy said long ago, from a physiological point of view, a man can't even deal with one woman, let alone dozens or hundreds of women.Many of the readers here are married women, and you can confirm this from your own experience and experience.For women, the husband can make love with him as many times as he wants in a day, but it is absolutely impossible for the husband to make love non-stop from morning till night.This is why most of the "sex workers" are women. Those who are "ducks" should be taken care of by a rich woman. If they do Sanzhong outside, how many customers can they receive in a day?

It is said that some corrupt officials have one hundred and thirty mistresses. Could it be that he can favor all these one hundred and thirty mistresses every day?Of course not.Not to mention within a day, it may be very difficult even within a month.So why does he keep so many mistresses?Of course, it is to satisfy his vanity, to prove that he has the ability to raise so many women, and these women are willing to be raised by him, which makes him feel honorable, although most of those women are for his money and status Come, once he loses his money and status, he will leave him, and even expose him because of jealousy (look at how many corrupt officials have been put into "double regulations" by their mistresses!), but for those who only talk about quantity, quantity is enough , Does she care if she loves love or money?

But not every man in this world only cares about quantity. Some men care about quality in love. What they want to win is women's admiration for themselves, not for their money or status. .Then the "historical problems" committed when they were young and ignorant may make them feel guilty. In comparison, it is much easier to talk about quantity than quality in love. If you have money, you have quantity, and if you have status, you have quantity.A man with both talent and looks like Allen can talk about quantity without money or status.As long as he is willing, he can get a large number of mistresses without spending a penny, and they are intellectual women whose quality is much higher than that of corrupt officials' mistresses.

But Allen is obviously not a person who talks about quantity, but a person who talks about quality. The quality he talks about is not ordinary quality, but a very "ambitious" quality.He confided in "The Yellow Version of Flicker": "I am a very ambitious person in love. I always hope that in your life, no matter when you think of me, you will not regret what I did-anything, and you will not regret any time with me- —" (Huang Yan: "Huyou Version") Allen's personality can be said to have been developed since he was a child, maybe he was born with it, because Jing Qiu said that since he was a child, he was very afraid of causing trouble and pain to others. When he went to play at Jing Qiu's house, he saw her If you yawn, you will quickly say goodbye.

In fact, many of us have this kind of psychology, at least we have.When we were young, we were genuinely happy because we were welcomed by others; when we first fell in love, we also sincerely hoped that we were worthy of each other's love for a lifetime; the biggest blow in marriage is to find that the other party regrets marrying us.Even if our mentality becomes a thing of the past with time, our love for our children is still so strong that we just want to do something more so that our children’s lives will be happy because of us, and our children will not regret their childbirth. for our children.

Sometimes we give up Allen's "love ambition" because we feel that the other person is not worthy of our love; or we try our best, but the other person still regrets the time with us, so we break the can and smash: Anyway, you have I regret it, no matter how hard I try, it is useless.Hmph, you regret being with me, and I regret being with you! But I believe that Amy has not regretted any time with Alan so far, so Alan has no reason to break the can, and he has a hundred reasons to continue to realize his love ambitions and get things done. To the best, let Amy never regret anything she did with him, or any time she spent with him, no matter when she thinks of him in her life. For a person who pays attention to the quality of love, this is the goal they are striving for.It's too simple and easy to spend money to call a chicken, or to have a one-night stand with netizens, so easy to insult their IQ and EQ. I think Allen's "historical problems" not only made him feel guilty in front of Amy, but also a heavy burden on his heart, which was the root cause of the two Ai ten years of fooling around. When Alan met Amy (or met Amy's picture), he found himself obsessed with a girl for the first time, a girl a few years younger than him, young, beautiful, smart, cute, and very suitable Since he was a child, he wanted to be a big brother and take care of his little sister. As one netizen described, Alan has always been surrounded by girls who are older than him. They surround him, tease him, and even tease him. They may also take care of him and make decisions for him. Arranging his life, even disciplining and restraining him like Jane did, so that he never experienced the taste of being a man, and almost never experienced the taste of pursuing love.Now with a "snap", a naughty and cute elf jumped in front of him, like the pretty Huang Rong in the movie, with outstanding appearance and compelling aura, can Alan still be fascinated? Allen's thoughts are his little Huang Rong. He is struck by her charm and seduced by her magic power. He keeps running to the door of the High School Attached to J University, looking for opportunities to talk about academics at the tutor's house, just hoping to see her. to Amy. The sky paid off Alan's infatuation, and the two Ai finally met in the corridor, and the golden arrow of love also hit Amy's heart, and the two had the opportunity to meet once a week. If Allen didn't have those "historical problems", I can guarantee that he would be much more proactive.On the one hand, he will not have the burden of thinking, and he will feel much better about himself, and he will not always feel that he is not worthy of Amy.On the other hand, he won't be so suspicious, always worrying about Amy messing with him.It can only be said that he was terrified by the women in "Historical Issues", thinking that Amy would be like those women, eating in the bowl and protecting the pot, while having her own regular boyfriend (even her husband) ), and on the other hand, I was thinking about wild food. We can see from "The Yellow Version of Huyou", when the two Ai pierced the layer of window paper and established a romantic relationship, in Amy's eyes, Alan has "more than tenderness, but not enough passion": "He seems to always maintain a sense of proportion. Every time he is a few steps away from the critical moment, he stops. She feels that at this point, he is different from the boys in the book, and from the stories she heard. It’s not the same with the boys. Those guys are the ones who can’t wait to get their girlfriends in bed, at least not until they get them.” (Amy: ) It is conceivable that when the two Ai are dating, Amy will say something that can make Alan "think crooked" from time to time, and she will also get into Alan's arms, and the two of them will rub their ears together.But judging by current standards, the two Ai were quite well-behaved at that time. Alan did not have any behavior that could be called "touching and pinching", and Amy did not check whether Alan was impulsive.Between the two, until Valentine's Day in 1997, there may have been only hugs and kisses, and neither of them touched the other's important military base. Even so, according to Allen, he did "preparatory activities" before each appointment, so as not to lose control and cross the 38th line.Allen is so strict about the "38th Parallel", I think other than the reason he said, "At that time, I always felt that you were still a child, and you didn't know what you wanted. Maybe you will get tired of me in a few days, maybe You will meet better people, and then you will regret it with me—cooking raw rice into cooked rice." In addition, he had "historical problems" is also a very important reason. On the one hand, if there are "historical problems", he will not be so curious about sex like a boy who has never had sexual experience, so eager to try it, he will think about feelings.On the other hand, Allen should be able to see from Amy's discussion about sex that Amy is still a "giant in theory, but a dwarf in action."With his intelligence, he can fully imagine that once Amy knows that she is not his "first nature", her anger and regret must be overwhelming. Not sure whether Amy is willing to be with him for a long time, and worried that her "historical problems" will be "underestimated" by Amy after being discovered. It is Allen who chooses to "stop every few steps before the critical moment" important reason.He himself said that once he found that he couldn't do anything well, he would take evasive methods.As it was in this case, he didn't know how to appease Amy's possible anger over his "historical issues," so he avoided the day as much as possible. When Amy first tortured his "historical question", he evaded it with an empty theory, which is his famous: "In fact, history is best left to be history, and the result of getting to the bottom of it is often confused. Personally unpleasant. What happened before the two of us met has nothing to do with our present—” But I believe Alan is not a liar, he will choose the right time to confess his "historical problems" to Amy, so when Amy tortured him about Tong Xin, he took the initiative to confess the two "One Night Stand". It wasn't the best time, but it was an unavoidable topic. He could save these two for later, but that would be tantamount to arousing Amy's anger again. , It depends on how Amy decides.I think Allen must have been prepared to be kicked out by Amy at the time. Even if he ended up like that, he would not blame Amy, but himself, for doing those things irresponsibly.The regret in his heart, I am afraid that only he himself knows how deep it is. "I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry," he murmured as he hugged her tightly, "I'm sorry..." It was the first time she saw him like a child who had done something wrong, lost his eloquence in the past, and just looked at her with a guilty conscience. She felt that he seemed very pitiful, but the anger in her heart was still hard to calm down.She held back her tears and muttered, "I'm going to get even—" He looked at her for a while and asked, "HOW?" "I don't know, maybe I'll go too—find a man, find—three—" He frowned and didn't speak. "If I go--love someone else, go with someone--that, are you--jealous?" He doesn't chew. She asked again: "Are you jealous? Are you sad?" He didn't speak, she took his hand and shook it: "Speak, speak, speak!" He was shaken by her for a while before he said: "How can you not be sad? But——if this is the only way for you to feel—even, then I—can't help it." (Amy: ) Of course Allen didn't want Amy to love or have sex with other men, but he could also understand the anger in Amy's heart at the moment.The less he wanted Amy to have sex with other men, the more he could understand Amy's feelings.He couldn't think of any other way to make Amy feel even, so he had to let her do it. So we saw the seemingly incomprehensible scene in the movie: Allen watched Amy change boyfriends like a lantern, and he neither came out to stop Amy and snatched Amy back, nor let Amy go to find another woman. He's waiting for Amy to get even.