Chapter 9 Section 8

My father's Guanzi is very popular, but in fact, it's just a chicken feather and a few pieces of garlic.The "technically unfeasible" physical contact is actually very simple, so it's not surprising to say it. It is not the first time that my mother asked my father to go to the "English Corner" in the park to practice oral English with others.Every time I go, my mother will ask my dad to "by the way" play with her in the park. Every time my dad plays with my mother in an old-fashioned way, it is nothing more than helping my mother with bags, clothes, tickets, popsicles and so on. I dare not sit with my mother on those flying things, always keep a distance, just like a tutor and bodyguard.

But this time it was hotter, my mother suggested to go swimming.My dad is a bit afraid, usually my mother is tightly wrapped, and it makes his blood boil, if he wears a swimsuit, wouldn't it kill him?But he couldn't bear to miss the great opportunity to see my mother's swimsuit show, and he didn't want to spoil my mother's interest or put my mother in danger, so he agreed. They didn't even bring their bathing suits and decided to rent them.My dad changed quickly, and ran to the swimming pool to find my mother, but he looked around, but he couldn't see my mother, thinking he was being fooled by my mother, when he saw my mother pouting and walking over.

My mother said very unhappy: "All the good-looking swimsuits have been rented out, and this kind of bad-looking ones are left-" My father only saw a piece of white skin, which he had never seen before. Immediately, my father turned the window of his soul to another place, leaving only the pure back of his head to my mother. Seeing my dad turn his head away, my mother felt very disappointed, thinking that the swimsuit she rented was terrible.My mom rented a dark blue bathing suit, one-piece, the best of the few left, but it was a bit too big, and she had to use elastic bands to knot knots at the shoulder straps on both sides, otherwise the shoulders If the strap is too long, it will collapse.

My dad swam elsewhere without saying a word.My mother felt that my father hated her very much, so she was very embarrassed and stood there in a daze. My dad found that my mother didn't keep up, so he swam back quickly and asked my mother what's the matter.My mother wanted my dad to help her swim, but she told my dad that she could swim, so she couldn't lie, so she just stood there and played in the water, anyway, she didn't really come to swim, she just wanted to make my dad take off Clothes, so that she can see his "naked body". But my mother was a little embarrassed to keep looking at my father, so she poured water on my father.

Unable to resist my dad's watering quickly and fiercely, my mother quickly lost the battle, saying that my dad got the water in her eyes. Seeing my mother standing in the water rubbing her eyes, my father panicked and walked up to look at my mother's eyes.My mother poured a few handfuls of water on his face, took the opportunity to touch his "naked body", declared the end of the war, and she won, and then asked my father to go with her to slide that very tall water slide . The two of them climbed to the top of that slide, and my mom asked my dad to slide first, saying that he would help keep her from going too fast and rushing into the water too hard, and the water would get her nose hard. uncomfortable.Of course my dad obeyed and slid down first.

My dad supported the sides of the slide with his hands and feet, and slowly slid down.Halfway through the slide, I heard my mother yell: "I'm coming!" My mother slid down with a "boom" and kept yelling: "Block me! Block me!" My dad quickly braced himself and stopped himself so that he could block my mother.My mother rushed up from behind and came up to my dad. She was afraid of throwing my dad into the water, so she hurriedly spread her legs, clamped my dad's waist, and stopped. My dad only heard my mother sliding from behind, and before he had time to look back, he was hit by my mother.He only felt two firm bags hit his back, and at the same time saw two white and slender legs stretched from behind to in front of him, so he guessed where his waist was hit by my mother.My dad was stunned for a moment. He only knew that he was still sitting there with his legs spread apart. Seeing that his third leg was also joining in the fun, he quickly loosened his arms and legs, and the two of them slid into the water together.

My mother didn't expect my father to let her fall into the water. Unprepared, she choked several times, her nose and eyes were red, and she stood there coughing violently. My dad was very ashamed, and just as he was about to apologize, he saw a bump on the shoulder strap of my mother's swimsuit unraveled, the shoulder strap collapsed, and half of the bag was exposed.My dad was taken aback, quickly blocked my mom, and said in a low voice, "Pull off the swimsuit quickly." My mother was coughing and couldn't breathe, and didn't hear what my father was saying, so my father had to step forward and help my mother pull up the shoulder straps.The shoulder straps were too long, and when they were pulled up, they collapsed, so my dad had to help carry them.Only then did my mother realize that she had lost such a big person, and she was so ashamed that she didn't know where the rubber band was. My mother had to grab the shoulder strap with one hand and run to the locker room, not thinking about swimming anymore.

My mother probably really doesn't remember the details of her "molesting" my dad that time, because she slid down from the top and was blocked by my dad, and then the two of them fell into the water together, just for a moment.But her swimsuit was ugly, and the shoulder straps collapsed to expose the sea mines, but it left a very embarrassing impression on her, which made her feel lingering fear when swimming later. But now she is very happy to hear my dad talk about the details that she didn't know, and said with a smile: "Old Huang, are you still so embarrassing? Why can't I see it at that time? I always think You're 'cold as a refrigerator'."

My dad said: "Tch, it's a skill to be spotted by you? As long as I don't report it, you will never know." My mother said: "Aren't you stupid? If you let me see it at that time, wouldn't I have fulfilled you a long time ago? Why do you need to suffer for so long?" "Look, look, don't you understand the style? If you just want to 'fulfil' me, how can I do it? I have already seen that you are a 'verbal revolutionist', don't look at you yelling 'cannibalism' ’, but you only took that as evidence of love, not love itself—”

When my mother saw that my father was about to turn defensive again, she immediately reversed the situation and began to try another case: "Then what about the embarrassment you mentioned in your sleep?" "You don't know this yet? Every man has it. If things done in dreams can be used to convict, I'm afraid nine out of ten men will go to jail." "Really? Then if the things being done in dreams can count, wouldn't nine out of ten women have been molested by someone?" "It's not that big of a ratio, is it?" "That is to say, in some men's dreams, it is the same woman who molested them?"

"Sure, like those movie stars, I'm afraid they have been molested countless times in their dreams." My mother grinned her teeth when she heard this, and asked, "Then—how many people have you molested in your dreams?" My dad said firmly, "You're the only one." "I don't believe it. What about when you didn't know me? Didn't you ever have a dream?" "Of course I did, but—no specific object—very vague—" My mother didn't ask any more questions, knowing that it was useless to pursue it. Dreaming is something that believers believe in and unbelievers believe in. Anyway, you can't judge someone for dreaming. It's better to let it go.My mother asked: "Then—how did you molest me in your dream?" "Actually, it's not considered indecent, it's just that I dreamed of you and was talking to you, and then I walked into a very dark doorway somehow, and you said you were so scared, so I hugged you, And then—” My mother opened her eyes wide: "Just kill me?" "No, how can a dream be so complete? I just hugged it, and then—woke up—" My dad saw my mother's unfinished look, and joked, "Why? Didn't I enjoy it? I hope I can do more in my dream. order what?" "You dream your dreams, how can I have fun. What about you? Have you had fun?" "Hey, dreaming, how can it compare with real swords and guns? It's very short, and it's over in one stroke." "No matter how short it is, there is always a kind of - feeling?" My mother was indignant, "It seems very unfair, you guys can molest us in your dreams, and you can still have fun, but our women What? You can't-" "Who says women can't? Women are like molesting men in their dreams—the 'fatal tenderness' you wrote, isn't there—" My mother said regretfully, "But I never—in my dreams—mosed you—" "You really haven't molested me in your dreams? Haven't you for so many years? That's too——disappointed me?" "Of course I have hugged and cuddled, but—not—too addictive—" My mother saw that the topic was about to come back to her again, and quickly pulled it back, "That was the first time you molested me in a dream, right? ? Tell me when it is, and see if I have a psychological response." "You sure didn't, because you were having a hot fight with your 'Shanghai Beach'—" "'Shanghai Beach'?" My mother was wronged and yelled, "Where did I have a hot fight with him? We all played together in groups, that is, after the college entrance examination, we all got together to celebrate each other and send off Send those students who go to other places to study—” My mother asked very interestedly, “How do you know about 'Shanghai Beach’? I never told you, and it was summer vacation, you went to Shenzhen—” "If people don't know, unless they do nothing." My mother argued: "It's not that I'm doing something bad, what's the point of making people know—tell me, how did you know? My parents told you?" "Nope, I saw it with my own eyes." "I don't believe it, where did you see it?" "I saw it outside your building—" "Are you hiding there to spy on me?" "Where would I dare to spy on you? I came back from Shenzhen and excitedly came to please you, but you were not at home. When I went downstairs and pushed my bicycle in front of your building, I saw a large group of you riding over. You got out of the car with a boy, and the rest rode away, I heard someone call that boy 'Xu Wenqiang', what is that 'Shanghai Beach'?" "Haha, you're so smart! People really call him 'Shanghai Beach'. Why didn't you say hello when you saw me?" "You are so lingering, how could I run out and be a light bulb?" "Where are we lingering? He asked me to borrow a book, and I went upstairs to get it with me, that's all." My mother asked curiously, "Have you been to my house? Why didn't my parents tell me?" "Your mother is not at home, your father must have told you, because I asked him to pass you a bag of shells—" My mother thought about it: "Well, there is such a thing, but I didn't know that the shell was given by you. My dad just said that it was given by a student—" "I'm not a student?"