Chapter 22 sakura sakura, please speak

At the age of 25, the surviving unit I worked for finally declared bankruptcy.I continued to come to Wuhan with 4,000 yuan in my pocket, and rented a basement near W University to study and prepare for the exam, hoping to become a graduate student of W University one day.The civilized cherry blossoms in this school were once my dream throughout middle school.During the day, I have to get up very early to get a seat in the library; at night, I walk back to "home" by moonlight.I have almost no contact with the neighbors, they have mixed identities: there are foreigners who pluck cotton, and there are breakfast sellers... Every night when I go back to the basement, they are all asleep, only the room opposite me is still lit.

One morning, I went to the sink at the end of the basement to brush my teeth, and the frail girl who lived opposite me was also brushing her teeth. Her hair was tied up casually in a white handkerchief. A capable and agile breath.She cleaned up the housework before me, and stepped out of the basement first. When I overtook her, I was bumped by her, and the postgraduate entrance examination materials in my hand were scattered all over the floor.She stuck out her tongue at me apologetically, knelt down to help me clean up, and suddenly she raised her head and glanced at me: "Are you also a graduate student?" The word "also" made me understand that she was my fellow traveler.

This girl named Zhan Wei is from Shanxi. After graduating from Chinese University, she studied for a bachelor's degree and worked as an editor for an unknown magazine.Several times I said to bring back the magazine you edited and read it for me.She twitched and refused.She is not officially established, has no basic salary, and counts on a meager editing fee every month.She studied hard in the cracks of survival, and dreamed of entering W University to study as a graduate student.She has to work hard during the day and has little time to review.Night is the golden period of her study.Her English vocabulary handbook has been turned into tatters.Her supper is usually just a loaf of bread.

Once, I said to her, I like your name, Zhan Wei, occupying place, very similar to my current state of existence.She laughed unscrupulously, and there was a kind of release and desolation in the laughter that had been suppressed for a long time.At that moment, I realized that she and I were both down and out but reserved.A person with a true temperament, this feeling makes me feel very safe and warm. One month after I met Zhan Wei, I accidentally saw the magazine she worked for on the news stand.I stopped to look through it with great interest. There were some sensational case analyzes and ambiguous interview transcripts on it.I finally understood why Zhan Wei didn't want to bring the magazine to me.What she signed on the magazine was not her original name, but I could tell at a glance that the editor named "Sakura Dream" should be her.

A magazine let me see the self-esteem, helplessness and dreams of a weak girl in a foreign land.Standing in the hot August sun, I suddenly felt like crying.If it wasn't for that thrilling night, Zhan Wei and I would probably still be living in the cramped and dark basement. After I fell asleep that night, I vaguely felt the noise from the opposite door. I opened the door and saw Zhan Wei was entangled with a disheveled old man at the door. I yelled: "What are you doing!" He crawled out of the basement.From Zhan Wei's crying, I understood what happened: she read a book until one o'clock in the morning, then went out to wash her face and brush her teeth, and concealed the door; When she came out, her legs were so frightened that she was weak, but she still fought with him desperately - because those were her only two valuable treasures.

This incident made us realize that this basement is by no means a place to stay.The next day, we rented a flat together, she lived in the bedroom and I lived in the living room.The monthly rent is 400, shared equally between the two. I don't know when my feelings for Zhan Wei started, but this move is undoubtedly an important opportunity.After moving, a kind of faint affection grew and spread between me and her.Two people read books together, arguing for a long time for the answer to an English question; eat together on weekends, and even go shopping together.Because we are all cash-strapped people, often we don't buy anything.Such a depressing time still makes me feel a kind of plain happiness.

The postgraduate entrance examination was very expensive. At that time, I only had 500 yuan in savings.I found a secretarial job in a leather bag company, the salary was meager, and it was far away from my residence.During those difficult days, my daily happiness was condensed at the moment when I stepped into the house: the warm lights, the steaming rice cooker, Zhan Wei's not beautiful but very penetrating smile... Many times, Looking at the scene in front of me, I couldn't help feeling a little dazed, thinking that this was really my home, and the person sitting in the orange light waiting for my return was my wife.

This illusion made me understand: I fell in love with Zhan Wei. The results of the postgraduate entrance examination finally came out, and both Zhan Wei and I did very well in the exam.It was a sunny day, and all the hardships I had suffered were paid off overnight.In March, the w-big cherry blossoms are in full bloom.On the weekend, Zhan Wei and I went to enjoy the cherry blossoms together.I took a picture of her, she was standing under the cherry blossom tree, I could vaguely see the white handkerchief tied on her long hair.A cherry blossom fell with the wind, quietly perched on her shoulder, the sun coated her skin with a lemon-colored halo, and her eyes shone with an unprecedented look.At that moment, I suddenly realized the beauty of Zhan Wei, which is a kind of tough but gentle, vicissitudes but pure beauty.

In the evening, we took the bus back to our residence, and Zhan Wei fell asleep leaning on my shoulder.The car was jolting and I tried to adjust my sitting position so that she could sleep comfortably.As the car rounded a corner, a package slipped out of her pocket.It's a pack of cherry blossoms.On campus during the day, Zhan Wei wrapped some cherry blossoms with the handkerchief in her hair, saying that she would take it home and put it in a book to commemorate her own mental journey over the years. Her long hair looked a little messy due to the lack of restraint, and a few strands of hair brushed my face. I smelled the faint fragrance of her hair and made a bold decision.I put the handkerchief in my pocket.I want to wait for the day when we all receive the admission notice, take this handkerchief and express my heart to her.

When the bus arrived at the station, Zhan Wei woke up.Seeing her head resting on my shoulder, she straightened up immediately.After getting out of the car, she said with some melancholy: "It would be great if I could be this happy every day from now on." I thanked her, feeling a little panicked. Zhan Wei didn't notice that her handkerchief was missing, she went to wash up directly after entering the room, and when she came out of the bathroom, I saw a new handkerchief tied in her long hair. That night, I slept very late.The handkerchief was just under my pillow, and the faint fragrance of cherry blossoms wafted in the night.

Zhan Wei performed abnormally in the re-examination, and her ranking dropped sharply. What's worse, because she had the same education, she lost at the starting line before the re-examination began-according to the school's regulations, candidates with the same education will be deducted 10 benchmark points.As a result, she, who was originally ranked very high, suddenly became precarious again.I really want to say to her, come with me, but, as a poor scholar, what can I do to maintain a stable life?What to take care of her weak shoulders? Finally, May has arrived.I was admitted, but Zhan Wei failed. In September, I entered the gate of W University as I wished.However, I am not happy. I will always remember the day Zhan Wei left.I went out early in the morning that day, and Zhan Wei stayed at home to sort out the manuscript.When I came home in the evening, I found her room empty.On the table in the living room, there was an admission notice from W University. I went to the magazine where Zhan Wei worked to find her.They told me.Zhan Wei resigned, but no one knows where he went. I studied quietly for three years, and after graduation I went to work in a university in Guangzhou.In my spare time I write articles for fashion magazines.That day, I saw an invitation letter from a Shanxi newspaper.The editor's online name is "Sakura Dream". This screen name is like a kindling, instantly igniting my memory.The cherry blossoms all over the mountain, and the smiling face hidden in the cherry blossoms, seem to be close at hand, but far away. I wrote "Sakura Dream" an e-mail, and I told her how a man had sewn that secret into his memory. Soon, I received an ordinary letter.The elegant font on the envelope is familiar to me.I opened the envelope tremblingly under the surprised eyes of my colleagues: "After returning to Shanxi, I worked in a newspaper office, and my life was still unstable. At that time, the nephew of the newspaper owner was very kind to me, but I didn't like this person. I often dreamed that I was sitting in the examination room, and the door was suddenly pushed open. , Someone snatched my test paper, I woke up sweating profusely. Wiping the tears from the corners of my eyes, I said to myself, that's it, everything is over. "Life after marriage was very peaceful, the newspaper company solved my budget, and I gradually moved away from my youthful dreams. "I have always wanted to tell you that on the night when I came back from viewing the cherry blossoms, I saw the half white handkerchief in your pocket, and I began to wait. I thought that you would return the handkerchief to me at some point and treat me Say something that can stabilize my life. But I waited until the results of the re-examination came out, and I failed, but you didn't come to me. In fact, at that time, the hope in my heart was still not extinguished, and I was still waiting, because I didn't believe that you were a secular People. But I didn't wait after all. "On the day your admission letter was mailed, I signed for it for you. When I saw the red envelope with the University of W badge on it, I suddenly realized that there was a distance between you and me. Finally, I was My eccentric self-esteem and reserve have defeated me. I spent several months convincing myself that you would not come to me with a handkerchief; I spent many years trying to forget you. Actually, that's fine too. Really, that's fine..." The past travels through the boundless time and space, submerging me unexpectedly like a tide.Suddenly, I seemed to return to that night many years ago, I seemed to see the cherry blossoms wrapped in handkerchiefs again, and I seemed to smell the fragrance of flowers in the dark again.How much I want to tell Zhan Wei that our miss is just a trick of fate.The cherry blossom dream that has withered before it opened turned around lonely in the sigh of the years, leaving me with such a silent back.