Chapter 41 descendants

Get up in the morning, brush your teeth with diethylene glycol toothpaste, wash your face with fluoride arsenic tap water, drink a glass of aflatoxin milk, eat a cage of clenbuterol hydrochloride clenbuterol steamed buns, chew two benzoyl potassium steamed buns, swallow two Sudan red Naphthol-salted duck eggs, suddenly realized that since the food problems have been exposed over the years, my chemistry class has been poor, and I have made up for it virtually. There is a lumpy feeling in the air, which makes me doubt the concept of gas and solid.Of course, compared to the delicate foreigners, we are very strong.I believe it won't be long before the three races on the street become clear: the ones wearing gas masks are foreigners, the ones without masks are Chinese, and the ones sitting rampant in an Audi A8 equipped with a BROAD air purifier are officials.In fact, the Chinese have already achieved partial photosynthesis. In other countries, the leaves absorb carbon dioxide, and we use the lungs to absorb carbon dioxide.We have also become the natural enemies of insects, making selfless contributions to the evolution of species on the earth.Just now on the road, I saw a person bitten by a scorpion. He didn't pour the scorpion but died.I asked: who are you?He said: Ouyang Feng, how about you?

I pulled off the five-step snake that was poisoned to death by me and still bitten on my leg, and said in a low voice: Ouyang Lei Feng. Holding fists in fists, each of them rushed away...Recently, an embassy installed a small box on the roof to announce the air index of our country every day.I also feel that its intentions are sinister. On the surface, it is talking about gas, but it is actually talking about the political system.As an independent and sovereign country, of course, we can have independent and sovereign air standards. We also have our own soil standards, tap water standards, and drug standards. According to historian Lei Yi’s suggestion: Next, our country will also raise the fever standard to 38 degrees. , Anything lower than this is not called a fever, and you are not allowed to take medicine... This is called Chinese characteristics. As for the price standard that is inversely proportional to it, it is called international standards.

Finally, I swam to the office with a lumpy feeling, brewed a cup of high-grade tea, and poured out the top water skillfully before drinking it.This is because these teas are commonly known as green tea, but their academic names are myclobutanil, fenvalerate, buprofezin... The green is because of the peacock green pigment; the bright color is because it has been fried with industrial paraffin.Look, even Lao Tzu admires his chemical knowledge.Turning on the computer, I saw a guy named Wang Xiaoshan was forced to run away because he revealed that Mengniu contained poison.Actually ran to Hong Kong, are you used to the air there?Does the water there have diarrhea?The raw pork liver porridge there doesn’t contain the heavy metals that buy one get one free, isn’t that a big deal?Come back, wanderer, you have gone too far on the road to the truth.

I suddenly wanted to check on Baidu how many cows there are in China: as of 2010, it was 12.3 million.Considering that cows do not implement family planning, let’s say there are 13 million cows now.Baidu also read: A cow can milk up to 10 kilograms of milk per day on average during the evaporating milk season and the peak milk season, but only 250 days can be milked except for the weaning period... That is to say, a cow can milk 2,500 kilograms of milk a year. 13 million can milk 32.5 million tons or 32.5 billion kilograms of milk a year.Assuming that only one-third of the population in China, that is, 450 million people drink milk, each person can get 72 kg of milk per year, but if each person who drinks milk only drinks 0.25 kg per day, the annual demand will be 91.25 kg... ...91.25 kg, where did the rest of the milk come from?

I thought about it, and suddenly felt that Lao Tzu was not only good at chemistry, but also invincible in mathematics. My mind was dizzy, and suddenly it was noon, and I didn’t order foreign fast food (I wonder why foreign fast food has problems in China). In order to avoid the frying and frying of waste oil, I changed it to order garlic and white meat. Out of environmental protection, there is another root Raw cucumber... as I ate it, colleagues looked at me approvingly: have courage.Then I knew, sulfur phosphorus garlic, blue vitriol cucumber-such awesome scientific names. I have nothing to do in the afternoon, so I look through the composition questions for this year's college entrance examination.I think the person who made the question must be an expert, and it's all metaphors.You see, in "Holding a Drop of Water" in Sichuan, if I wrote "Holding a drop of water in my heart, my heart is full of tears", more than 50% of the recent national tap water inspections failed.Hubei's "Pros and Cons of Technology", if I write - the disadvantages of technology, let me grow a beard when I was only eight years old after drinking milk; the advantages of technology, let me learn to masturbate early.Guangdong "The Age You Want to Live in" - I just want to live in two generations, either the rich second generation or the official second generation, so as not to become the generation of mutants in the future.Tianjin's material composition "Two Fish Swimming in the River" is the most plot-sensitive, and the author of the question gave very philosophical material: Two fish were swimming in the river, and the old fish asked the young fish: "How is the water quality in the river? " Xiaoyu said: "I don't know whether the water quality is clear or turbid." If I wrote it, it would be like this - the old fish waved his hand and slapped him across the face: "Fuck, it goes without saying that there is an oil refinery and two chemical plants upstream , I have grown arms as a fish, and you have grown three legs as a fish, do you think the river is clear or muddy?"

Finally got off work.Looking at the vehicles stuck on the road at a speed of 0.08 kilometers per hour, I think that with the ability of the Chinese to continue to prove Darwin's theory of evolution, we may have to grow wings in the next step.Therefore, the rank of the "Minister of Food Safety" appointed by Japan is actually higher than that of the Minister of Homeland Defense. This is really ridiculous. Is non-toxic milk necessary for war?The mutant army might be needed to fight the war... At this time, the guy who couldn't stay in Hong Kong finally sneaked back to the mainland.My heart warmed up, and I said, let’s go to the newly opened hot pot restaurant called HOW DO YOU D〇, the fashionable name, translated into Chinese, everyone will be familiar with it, “It’s so poisonous and oily”.

I ordered a plate of formaldehyde cabbage and mercury mushrooms. He ordered a plate of formalin beef louvers and sulfur dioxide enoki mushrooms. Not to be outdone, I added a bunch of potassium bromate steamed buns.He glared at me, and ordered an extra sodium bisulfite formaldehyde vermicelli, and twelve sticks of beef gluten brushed with high-quality fresh meat essence... In the motherland, I order vegetables and eat dyes; I eat vermicelli and chew plastic; Contraceptive pills are also included... In short, I not only increased my knowledge, but also vaguely had the generous temperament of Shennong who tasted hundreds of herbs back then.

This day, this life, we are all descendants of Shennong. 09/06/2012