"Zuo Zhuan" tells such a story: There is a big playboy named Qi Zhuanggong in Qi State, and there is a big beauty named Tang Jiang in Qi State.When Duke Zhuang of Qi saw Tang Jiang, who was so beautiful, he tossed and turned, couldn't sleep at night, and finally communicated with her about the song.But this incident was noticed by Tangjiang's husband Cui Shu.That day, when Duke Zhuang of Qi had a tryst with Tang Jiang, he arranged for a warrior to hack him to death. Cui Shu was an important minister of the Qi State. He said to the historian who came to record: "Just write that Duke Zhuang of Qi died of malaria." light." Cui Shu was very angry, drew his sword and killed the historian.When the historian died, his younger brother inherited the position according to the custom at that time.Cui Shu said to the new historian: "You wrote that Duke Zhuang of Qi died of malaria." The new historian didn't listen, and wrote on the bamboo slips, "Cui Shu killed his king." Cui Shu drew his sword and killed the new historian.Then the younger brother wrote the same words and was also killed.Finally, the youngest brother.Cui Shu asked: "Don't you cherish your own life?" The young historian continued to write "Xia Wuyue Yihai, Cui Shu killed his king." Cui Shu angrily threw the bamboo slips to the ground, and after a long time, he sighed , let go of the historian.

People ask me why I write.I told him the story.And what I want to emphasize is that this story made me refuse to write at first.It shows that writing is purely a matter of courting death.Of course, a vulgar person like me would not do something that would require death. Coupled with the fate of my family being a writer, I, who was born in literature, spent a long time playing a game without risk, and secretly thanked myself.But gradually I discovered another risk.The rules clearly stipulate that a game is played by two teams, but in fact it is not the case.A star player told me: "I went to the field to watch that day, and I was about to cry, because there were always teammates kicking the ball towards my own goal, and there were three teams on the field. But I laughed again because the opponent also kicked the ball. The ball was kicked towards their own goal, so there were four teams. It was not until the end of the game that I finally confirmed that there were actually five teams in total, because there were also referees.

In such a situation, I gradually realized that there is something called "dignity".Even the game must have dignity. I can't ignore that two have become five, and I can't accept that my job is to prove five to two for a long time, and prove it to be literary.This process of constantly modifying the brain database made me miserable, and I lost my intellectual dignity more and more.I hid from literature to games, in a big house without dignity, and every corner was wretched.I looked at the beginning of the story again, only to notice that it had an ending: the historian saved his life, picked up the bamboo slips and walked out, and met a Nanshi family, who recorded history in the south.The historian asked in surprise: "Why are you here?" Nan Shi said: "I heard that your brothers were all killed, and worried about being usurped, so I came here with bamboo slips to record." Shocked, the historian in front died because he insisted on his work, and the Nan Shi family is a typical example of taking the initiative to seek death.This is called one after another.There is a kind of destiny that will always belong to you, and there is no way to hide, it is better to hold the bamboo slips to meet it.

In 2008, under the ruins of the ruins, the body temperature was still there, the little hands were still moving, and the sleeves were colorful... I finally understood that I really should go back.This is my history. Of course, I am still a vulgar person, and I am afraid of harsh things in my bones. I can’t imagine the magnificent scene of Nan Shi holding bamboo slips along the Qingshiban Road, like a rainbow hanging from the sky. I just lower my head and ponder the ordinary alleys Stories, little common sense.These stories and common sense slowly come together, that is. There are some things that people all over the world know, but we have lost them, or pretended to lose them... We have been unable to find a unified characteristic for these things and common sense, and only later did we realize that this is actually dignity.

In my opinion, dignity is above all intellectual dignity.For a long time the nation lost its intellectual dignity.Zhao Gao said: "This is a horse." People nodded and said: "Yeah, what a fast horse." Then they went to modify the database in their minds, oh, horses have horns.Later, some people said that it is necessary to smelt steel.So every family smashed their pots and pans, and every village built a blast furnace for steelmaking.Everyone pretends not to see the lumps of things that have been smelted, and it is a pit when they are pinched.In my opinion, that lump of stuff, like that horse, does not exist in the material world, it is just a Trojan horse produced after the brain has been forcibly modified.But this does not affect that our steel production exceeds that of Europe, our crop production is forty times that of the world, and two-thirds of the world's people are waiting for us to rescue.That incident had an ending: people did not make steel, but when they returned home hungry, they found not only that there was no food, but even the cooking pots had been smashed.This is a spectacle of heroism and humor, where the whole population is doing something stupid and convincing each other that it is true.

Let the hungry farmers believe that the yield per mu is 20,000 jin, let the industrial workers believe that the steel smelted from firewood poles can make tanks, let the doctors believe that the red book cured the deaf and dumb children...the story has no end, so The thing that shames intelligence extends to the fact that singing popular songs can cure infertility. In order to be grateful, the husband named Agui even asked his wife Li Caixia to delay her birth for two days so that her child would be born on the same day as the benefactor's birthday. Compared with the result of thinking, thinking itself is a kind of dignity.It's just that someone always gives up on the process.Give up thinking about why the fastest bullet train in the world can be pierced by a bolt of lightning, and the school building of the happiest children in the world has no steel bars after it collapses.

So dignity is also a kind of memory.I once watched a Korean romance movie called "The Eraser in My Brain". The girl's boyfriend suffered from amnesia, and he couldn't remember who he was or what he had done.That girl would take care of him at any time, ride a bike with him, give him romantic things... This romance movie is so beautiful, because since amnesia, personal shortcomings and bad memories are also erased, and everything is as good as ever. is an angel. Amnesia is not a bad thing for a person, but it is not so good for a people.The story of one person is a literary film, and the story of a group of people is a documentary. It is wrong to make a documentary into a literary film.For many years, we have always had an eraser in our minds. For example, at the beginning, the person named Cui Shu wanted to make an eraser very much, and then there was a person named Ying Zheng who wanted to make an eraser very much, and then there was another person named Yuanzhang really wants to be an eraser...

One day I went under a viaduct in the south. Many innocent people died under that bridge, but I didn't see the monument, not even a pole was erected.The pond where the lotus once bloomed was actually filled with solid cement. If you walk by it, it will not remind you of what happened.Later, a viaduct in the north slipped and several people died.They are all called temporary workers.The temp here is an all-purpose eraser. There was a time when I deluded myself into thinking that I was writing for fairness.It was only later that I realized that I can’t write about social fairness as a small person, at most I can describe my personal emotional dignity. Most of the time, this kind of experience is nothing more than a comedy episode.No. 267, Dajin Street, Chengdu, where I lived when I was a child, is a beautiful house.The hollowed-out flower hall is decorated with chrysanthemums and spider plants, and the incense burners of Daci Temple can be seen through the wooden window purlins. The neat rows of shallow holes in the dripping eaves show that the family has a long history.I heard from the old man that the people in this family lived in harmony, and went to the main room to pay homage to the heaven, earth, relatives and teachers every day. There were occasional disputes in life, but they never blushed.This family has both the Kuomintang and the Communist Party. During the Anti-Japanese War, the two parties in the courtyard cooperated sincerely and fought off the Japanese together with the country.

But in the 1950s, the biggest war broke out in this house overnight. The cause was that some people liked to grow flowers in the yard, and they were bourgeois, while others advocated collecting scrap copper and iron in the yard, representing the revolutionary people.This war lasted for a long time, and the reasons for each battle were also very strange.I woke up in the 1970s, and I still remember that the third uncle in the west wing had a big sign hanging around his neck, and was beaten until his face was covered in blood.Just because he planted some favorite chives in a corner of the yard.Sanbo's name was Yongqing, and he had briefly served as the captain of the Chengdu Criminal Police Force before liberation. His act of growing chives made him the number one bourgeois enemy in the courtyard at that time.His son personally presided over the criticism meeting to show that the line was drawn.Other relatives and friends chanted slogans.That day, when a particularly revolutionary relative shouted "Down with Yongqing, protect Jiang Qing", because the tail rhymed too much, he shouted "Down with Jiang Qing, protect Yongqing"...The family members calmed down and listened carefully , he was the only one left shouting, he felt it was wrong, it was too late.People walked over slowly... At this time, he was already the number one enemy, and after a while, his head was covered with bruises, like a pineapple.

I remember that no one was spared in the whole yard, and people took turns to be the number one enemy. Even on the day of the leader’s memorial service, there was a child who was very funny watching the grown-ups cry, laughed, and was almost regarded as the number one enemy. Xian Que's leader admitted his mistake for a long time before he was let go.This family from Jiangxi did not dismantle it during the Anti-Japanese War, but turned against each other in the inexplicable war that followed.I didn’t know until I grew up that even the marshal’s daughter publicly declared to draw a line with her father. When a writer surnamed Guo heard that his son was being persecuted, he didn’t help him, but just watched him die...the so-called It is a very vicious idiom to kill relatives with righteousness. The four-character cut off the dignity of family affection for three thousand years.

But treat others as close relatives.I often hear two funny sayings: 1. The government is our parents, even if we do something wrong, it is for our own good;You see, the government is regarded as a parent for a while, and the government is regarded as a child for a while, but the government is not regarded as the government.There are also some people who were moved by the fact that the officials worked overtime and ate a bowl of instant noodles. They were moved by the fact that the urban management did not hit the hawkers this time but just stared at them.There is a species in this country called "moving".I find this illogical and disrespectful.Taxpayers and the government have a natural contractual relationship like consumers and vending machines.Do you want to be moved by spitting out a can of drink just to stuff five yuan? Like most people, I am a patriot with only life opinions and no political pursuits, but my way of expression often makes people uncomfortable.Here’s a story: On February 22, 1971, a debate was held in the chamber of the U.S. Supreme Court. A naughty young man named Cohen, who opposed conscription, wore a jacket with the words “Fuck the Draft” in the Los Angeles courtroom. Swinging in the corridors, and thus getting convicted.But in the end he won the case.Judge Harlan wrote the court opinion: "One man's foul language can be another man's lyric. In a society with a large population and a high degree of division, this is a good medicine. A society that is often full of cacophony Ambiance doesn’t mean weakness, it’s a sign of strength.” One man's foul language may be another man's lyric.This is the dignity of expression. I don't want to always blame the present, the country's thousand-year-old culture has gone wrong.In the Song Dynasty, the well-known Song Jiang only wrote some lyric poems on the Xunyang Tower to express his grievances, but they were regarded as anti-poems and forced to become anti-thieves.The education of this nation for thousands of years is: polish your dignity, so that you will not rebel, so that the country can be safe and reliable.But it's hard for you to imagine that a group of people who don't even care about their own dignity will care about the dignity of the country.A group of citizens without dignity has built a powerful country.A herd of pigs never protects a pigsty, it's that simple. My writing is only for the dignity, the dignity of intelligence, the dignity of memory, the dignity of family affection, the dignity of expression, the dignity of childbearing... Deng Jiyuan from Shaanxi, the father of the child who was forcibly aborted when he was almost eight months old , in order to ask for an explanation, he was labeled as a traitor and forced to fled in the mountains with his bare feet... The famous Lao Zhang in Beijing, more than 20 years ago, went to the The way to petition.In winter, I wear newspapers and plastic sheets to keep warm. When I am hungry, I go to the vegetable market to find other people’s leftover chicken intestines and cook them.Just to ask for an explanation, he lived under the bridge in the southern city of Beijing for many years.Back then Cai Guoqing sang affectionately: "The bridges in Beijing, ah, are in various poses..." Have you ever thought of the figure of this old Zhang? In fact, what I want to say most is the beautiful things.I truly believe that brilliance comes from dignity.In those years, the red sun painted by the Chinese approached the number of stars in the Milky Way, and there was no Monet.There are so many communes called Sunflowers, planting a lot of sunflowers and staring at them every day, and no Van Gogh was born.But look at Mr. Mei Lanfang's "The Drunken Concubine", the big and small cloud hands, the flowing eyes, and the Siping tune is beautiful and melodious: "The ice wheel on the island is just turning, see the jade rabbit, and the jade rabbit has risen eastward early, the ice wheel is far away from the island, the universe is extraordinary Tomorrow, the bright moon is in the sky... It's like Chang'e descending to the Nine Levels, and falls in the Guanghan Palace in a clear and cold manner." My motherland needs such magnificent things, and those who can create these works of art have dignity in their bones.But then only revolution is needed, that is, Jiang Shuiying in the model play "Ode to the Dragon River". The drums of war urge people to hurry up. How many slaves have not been liberated, how many sisters have been persecuted, how many brothers have carried guns..." Her eyes were firm and her shape was like a mountain.Including those other iron girls, for a while I felt that they only need revolution in their lives, not living, not falling in love, or even shitting. How embarrassing is this for Li Bai, who once wrote "The clouds think about the clothes, the flowers think about the appearance, and the spring breeze blows the Revlon"? This makes Li Yu, the queen master of the Southern Tang Dynasty who created the famous sentence "When is the spring flower and autumn moon, how much do you know about the past", how can you look back at your hometown, Yuemingzhong? These things are not big things, but these truths should not be buried.Dignity is so strange, it's cheap, but all we have.Dignity itself is not a work, but it can make your whole body shine, your eyes are clear, and you are your best work. The whole world knows these truths. Li Chengpeng December 28, 2012