Chapter 13 Chapter Thirteen Limited Bullying

The worse others treat you, the better you should treat them. Many people believe in a sentence - "Be true to yourself." So in the workplace, newcomers try not to hide their preferences, laugh when they are happy, cry when they are sad, and lose their temper when they are irritable. When others are kind to you, you are also kind to others.When others treat you badly, you treat others badly. These practices are of course no problem on the surface, and they are even advocated by traditional education.But if you try your best, you will find that you have fallen into the quagmire of the workplace after a long time.

You don't hide your emotions, so people around you know how to mobilize your emotions. People can easily make you laugh, make you cry, and even make you lose your temper at your boss. You don't hide it when you treat people, but those who you think are good people will harm you behind their backs.What you are targeting is even more deeply hatred for you. In the end, no one in the workplace can unite. Why is this so? Because you regard the workplace as an ordinary life and regard everyone in the workplace as friends, so you want to be your true self and don't want to cover up.

But what is exchanged in the workplace is interests. Everyone and you are not friends, but opponents. If you see everyone in your workplace as an enemy, you'll understand the problem.If you don't hide your emotional preferences, you will give the enemy an opportunity to take advantage of them. Treating people too well will make enemies pretend to be friends to harm you.If you treat people too badly, you will make yourself an immeasurable enemy. In short, you are in a place surrounded by beasts, and you are surrounded by enemies who will swallow you up at any time. If you are your true self, you will reveal your flaws and let others take advantage of them.Only by covering yourself and hiding yourself can you be safe.

It is not so easy to be a chameleon in the workplace. It needs to be done step by step, and the first step must be to learn to be kind to people, especially to bad people. It's simple and useful. As the saying goes, "Good people will be rewarded with good rewards, and bad people will be rewarded with bad rewards."But this sentence is the good wish of the broad masses of the people, and it is not true. We often see the news of bad people getting bad news through the news. Since it can become news, it is naturally rare.Thinkers say " Those who steal the hook will punish those who steal the country." It means that the little bad guys will be punished, but the big bad guys will have great success.

The same is true today. In our world, many successful people do not necessarily have good morals.But they control all aspects of life, they are the ones who drive us. So the saying that bad people get bad rewards is groundless and illogical.If we really want to analyze it, I am afraid that bad people will be rewarded with good rewards, and good people will be rewarded with bad rewards. In the former ZTE country, Zeng Guofan, Li Hongzhang and others who worked hard were falsely accused of traitors by history.But Hu Lancheng, who was a real traitor and abandoned his wife and son, aged peacefully with the hat of a great writer.The world is unfair, morality can't save anyone, and the so-called law of heaven can hardly affect everyone.

When you understand the fact that bad people often have good results, you should understand that you should not offend them. Who would be stupid enough to offend their future boss? People who have no vision should also see this. When others treat you badly, are they hating you? This is worth noting, because others treat you well or badly, it has nothing to do with whether he hates you or not, it only depends on the character of the other person. Some people have a bad personality, no matter who they are, they are very bad. This does not mean that they hate anyone, but treat them without discrimination.On the contrary, if one day, this person who treats everyone badly treats you nicely, that would be a terrible thing. Maybe from this day on, he will hate you.

When a newcomer enters the workplace, once he encounters that others are not nice enough for him, he will start to feel uneasy, feeling that he has offended others and others regard him as an enemy. Not so.Because people don't need a reason to treat you badly, but they need a reason to treat you well. So, when others treat you badly, don't be too nervous, let alone hold grudges (remember it's okay).Considering that the other party treats each other equally, naturally other colleagues will deal with it, so you don't have to waste your energy. When faced with an unfriendly person, it is necessary to distinguish why.If the other party has a bad habit, then you don't need to pay attention.If you violate his interests and occupy his territory, be careful.If you and him have interests that cannot coexist with each other, then you are natural enemies. He hates you, not treats you badly.

Different situations, different handling.Those who hate you are irreconcilable, only fight, but those who are bad to you are not necessarily, don't let him develop into hatred. Why do you have to treat him better the worse someone treats you? This sentence looks like a masochist, but in the workplace, only a masochist can succeed. As mentioned above, when a person treats you badly, it does not necessarily mean that he hates you, but because the other person has such a bad personality. But a bad person often has good results. He may climb very high in the future and become your boss, or even the leader of the industry.You can avoid him for a while, but you may not be able to avoid him forever.

Someone offends you, and if you offend him in turn, it will escalate into hatred.And hatred is difficult to eliminate, and can only be resolved by the defeat of one party. If someone treats you badly and you treat him well, then it's just that he offended you, not you. Remember what was said earlier - offending people has a cost. If he offends you, he will pay the cost sooner or later. If you didn't offend him, naturally you don't need to pay any cost. On the surface, he bullies you, he treats you badly.But in the long run, he planted a seed of hatred for himself, but you didn't.

So repaying grievances with kindness will make you take advantage of it. It is worth noting that this is by no means "repaying grievances with virtue" as others have said in the past. We just use virtue as a strategy to deal with people who are unfavorable to you.And once you really take power in the future, there is absolutely no need to use virtue to repay. Some people may ask, the worse others treat me and the better I treat them, will it mean that the other party will become worse and worse, and I will suffer more and more wronged. If this problem exists, it is a matter of using technology or art to deal with the problem.

When I said "repay grievances with kindness" before, some people meant that at any time and under any circumstances, they should work hard and be bullied by anyone without saying a word. If you do, it's too mechanical.Any skill changes as things change. For example, if the other party has interests involved with you, then there is a reason why he treats you badly, and simply repaying grievances with virtue will not work.For another example, if the other party is in an enemy relationship with you, then you can only live forever, and there is absolutely no sympathy to talk about. Even if the other party is simply treating you badly, when you are kind to others, you still control the situation according to the situation. It is an old tradition to repay grievances with kindness, and it is really a good person, and that is the one who deserves to be bullied.But what we do is to grasp the scale by ourselves and take the protection of interests as the main premise. We treat bad people well in order to protect the future interests and not to pay the cost of offending people.But if the other party's bullying has caused us to lose a lot of benefits, and it is even unbearable, then we should not bear it any longer, and we should fight for every inch of land. I never agree to fight back as soon as I am bullied, but I even disapprove of being bullied without limit.People should protect their own interests, that's why you've been wronged in the workplace. If even the interests are bullied, there is no need for patience. But counterattack and resistance must also be restrained.As long as you don't tear your face apart or become a real enemy, you shouldn't act recklessly. Generally speaking, it is very difficult to beat the opponent to death, and the best way is to use power to overwhelm the opponent, as long as the opponent knows how powerful it is.Experienced people don't need to do it themselves when dealing with people who are not in harmony. Instead, they can use the strength of their superiors or other backgrounds to make the other party retreat. There is resistance, but there is no complete breakup. Grasping the scale is the difficulty in the workplace. Finally, it is necessary to be clear about the difference between this unspoken rule and "repaying grievances with virtue". "Repaying grievances with virtue" is a typical philosophy of a good old man, and it is Mr. Dong Guo who feeds the wolf with his body.Your unrestrained tolerance and unprincipled kindness to others will never make others be kind to you. Usually, the other party is taking advantage of you while ridiculing you for being a fool.So when you are such a good old man, what you lose is not only your interests, but also your dignity. In the workplace, people cannot be without dignity. You can make up for the loss of benefits. If you lose your dignity, you will completely lose your future. Maybe people without dignity can live well by hugging people's thighs, but they can no longer reach the top level . You have to stick to your bottom line and resist in moderation, but don't become too much an enemy of the wicked. This passive resistance is not permanent or inflexible. This is the biggest difference from "repaying grievances with virtue".Traditional education is to let you endure for a lifetime, no matter what you have or where you stand, you must endure others. But what we are talking about is to endure when we are weak, and no need to endure when we are strong.It means "It's not that we don't report, the time has not come yet." As I said before, there is a cost to offending people.When someone treats you badly, it offends you.If the rules are like this, the other party should be made to pay the cost. When you are weak, consider yourself trying not to make enemies, so when others treat you badly, you treat them kindly.But when you reach a high position, have a lot of resources, and can control others, if you still want to be tolerant, or even retaliate with kindness, then it is nothing. If the other party offends you, you should suffer the consequences. This is the rule of the world of interests, and it is also the reward for your patience. Why do you suffer so much if you don't have this day? Don't be a good person all your life, it's worse than being a bad person all your life.Because wicked people only eat good people. There is only forbearance, waiting, and counterattack.This is the trilogy of how to behave in the workplace. case: In the past few months, the East China sales area of ​​Company A has been on a roller coaster, with ups and downs, which made the employees overwhelmed.First, he won the exclusive channel cooperation of "Good People", which greatly boosted the company's morale and rarely became a man of the hour.But then the situation reversed, and the plan of spin-off and listing of "Good People" caused Company A to fall to the bottom again, and was rarely beaten as a street mouse.Just when everyone thought that Company A was doomed this time, Zhang Yu suddenly stepped forward, took on all the burdens, and even wrote a military order to resolve the crisis within a month. No one believed that Zhang Yu could really do it, but one month later, Zhang Yu merged Huang Linghua's Ningxia Medical Engineering into the company, perfectly solving the problem. So Xianyu completely fell into the bottom of the valley, but Zhang Yu became a hero in East China.When Zhang Yu made the military order, the deputy director once said that as long as he can do a good job, he can meet one of Zhang Yu's requirements. But now, it's time to reward meritorious deeds, and everyone is speculating on what demands Zhang Yu, who has made great contributions to the world, will make to the head office. Some people said that Zhang Yu would ask for money, at least the company should reward him with an A4. This statement was quickly denied. Zhang Yu is not a money-grubbing person from any angle, and it is possible to replace it with Xianyu. Others said that Zhang Yu would ask to return to the head office.But it's not right when you think about it carefully, because Zhang Yu voluntarily asked to come to East China a year ago, and there is no reason to go back without getting a promotion. After discussions and discussions, the final opinions all converge on one point, that is, promotion. People are like this, in the company either for promotion or salary increase, since Zhang Yu doesn't ask for money, he can only seize power. It just so happened that at this time, Xianyu caused a big disaster, and the head office also considered giving him punishment.If Zhang Yu made a request at this time to marginalize Xianyu, and Zhang Yu himself became the general manager of the region, it can be said to be a matter of course. As soon as this logical and highly probable conjecture was put forward, it won the approval of most employees.Privately, everyone passed around that Zhang Yuhui was the new general manager, and that Xianyu was definitely going to leave. If there are too many rumors, everyone will make money.The executives in the Xiaoxi District were panicked, and the high-level executives were stuck in Xianyu's office thinking about the same thing, but the little people began to show their favor to Feng Hui and Wang Xiaofeng, hoping to recommend Zhang Yu to come to him. Not long after, the head office began to reward meritorious deeds, and the deputy director put on a gesture, asking Zhang Yu to make his own request, and publicly said that as long as it is not outrageous, it can be realized, and promotion and salary increase are not outrageous things.This is tantamount to encouraging Zhang Yu to speak out. I'm afraid even Xianyu himself feels that this time he is dead and there is no room for maneuver. But who would have expected that Zhang Yu sent an email to the head office, neither mentioning promotion nor asking for a salary increase. There was only one request in it, and that was that Xianyu continued to be the general manager of the East China Sales Region .Zhang Yuyan made it clear that when East China is in chaos, changes in high-level personnel at this critical point will inevitably affect morale.Considering the overall situation, he hoped that the head office would consider letting Xianyu continue to perform the duties of the general manager. This letter was originally sent secretly to the three directors of the head office, but somehow it got out and everyone in the company knew about it. Everyone was shocked, and felt that Zhang Yu was too stupid to make such a great contribution, instead of reaping some benefits for himself, he wanted to keep it fresh. Xianyu and Zhang Yu are not on the same side. Before, Xianyu suppressed Zhang's people at every turn, cornering them all.Although there is no enmity, the relationship is definitely not harmonious. With this level, Zhang Yu still tried his best to help, isn't that repaying evil with virtue? Others couldn't figure it out, and Feng Hui couldn't figure it out even more.As a hard-core member of the Zhang family, he planned to ascend to heaven this time.But who would have expected that Zhang Yu would give Xianyu the benefits in the end. It was like Mr. Dong Guo saving the wolf, and he had to be bitten by the wolf in the end. But Zhang Yu didn't take it seriously: "Liu Yu is such a person. He has a narrow mind and a strong jealousy. If you don't offend him, he will deal with you. If you offend him, you don't know what will happen in the future." Feng Hui: "But this time you have the upper hand." Zhang Yu shook his head: "This time I only have a slight upper hand, and it is far from the time to completely overwhelm Xianyu. Even if I propose to be the general manager of the region, so what? Will the head office let Xianyu go? No, they Let Xianyu be the vice president and continue to check and balance us." Feng Hui was smart at first, so he got it right: "I know, now is not the time to completely defeat Xianyu. Instead of offending him, it's better to continue dealing with him and find another opportunity in the future." Zhang Yu was noncommittal: "Even if Xianyu continues to be the regional manager, his aura is gone. In the company, the accident he caused this time is a stain, and he will always follow him, and it will be difficult to turn around in the future." Feng Hui: "Actually, it's okay to overwhelm him this time. I don't believe that Xianyu can make a comeback." Zhang Yu: "It is better to offend a gentleman than to offend a villain. It is rare to have been in the workplace for so many years and squeezed out several groups of people. I have to guard against it. What's more, I don't want to be the general manager. In fact, there is another reason." Feng Hui was puzzled: "What's the point?" Zhang Yu said mysteriously: "The secret of heaven must not be revealed." Although the secret cannot be leaked, when the time comes, those who care will naturally know. After Zhang Yu's email was posted, it probably caused a shock to the top management of the head office. There was no reply from above, and it was not until more than a month later that the handling opinions were approved. Zhang Yutong ordered the commendation, and the management award was increased by 10%.Xianyu gave a stern warning and withheld three months of bonuses.On the surface, one reward and one punishment are very clear, but in fact, there is no mention of any position.Xianyu continued to be his general manager, Zhang Yu was still the vice president, and the two did not switch positions. Judging from this result, the head office has accepted Zhang Yu's proposal to ensure the stability of the sales area and continue to let Xianyu take the blame. With this opinion on how to deal with it, Xian Yu's team was relieved, they never expected that there would be a day of narrow escape.But everyone in the company laughed at Zhang Yu as a fool for not taking such a good opportunity. After escaping a catastrophe, although Xianyu may not be very grateful, but if he stretches out his hand and doesn't hit the smiling face, he can't continue to punish Zhang Yu no matter how bad he is, otherwise, the public opinion of the company will be very unfavorable.Therefore, in the company, the relationship between the two general managers suddenly became harmonious. When something happened, Xianyu no longer acted arbitrarily. He started to discuss with others, and assigned a lot of work to Zhang Yu. If the matter just ended like this, then Zhang Yu would be underestimated too much.After all, he is someone who has been tempered in the workplace for a long time, and even a genius like Feng Hui admires him. About two months later, the merger of Ningxia Medical and Engineering was officially completed.Two companies become one, and of course the two teams are also integrated into one. This brings up a question, how should Huang Linghua and Lao La be arranged?Huang Linghua is the boss of Ningxia Medical Engineering, at least at the same level as Xian, but there is only one general manager position, so he can't compete for the throne again. While everyone was discussing, the head office issued an appointment order and decided to establish a new director in the East China region, at the same level as the general manager.As a matter of course, Huang Linghua became the regional director, and led a team to manage the chain sales business. From now on, all chain stores, pharmacies, and sales terminals will be managed by Huang Linghua. As a result, the East China region, which had just calmed down, became chaotic again, and two giants appeared in a company, and they were still at the same level. Who listened to whom?What's more, those two giants are still unforgettable mortal enemies, and there is absolutely no possibility of coexistence.There is no doubt that the day when Ren's order is issued is the beginning of a new fierce struggle. Hearing the news, Feng Hui really admired Zhang Yu.I'm afraid Zhang Yu had already calculated that there would be a game of two giants a few months ago, so he refused to be the general manager. He wanted to sell his favor to Xianyu so that we could meet each other in the future.Second, after Huang Linghua came to power, he could let Xianyu Chong fight in the front, so that Zhang Yu could stay out of the new round of fierce fighting and protect his own safety. In the workplace, the final winner is never the one who keeps fighting, but the one who lives the longest. Question: Xianyu has caused such a big disaster, so he should be killed without mercy.But why did the head office agree to Zhang Yu's suggestion and let Xianyu stay on? Lu Qi answered: The head office also has deep-seated reasons. Although Huang Linghua came here with the whole team, the head office had no choice but to accept this traitor, and also signed an alliance under the city. It is obviously impossible to trust Huang Linghua, so it must be let go. A person who can fight against him, no one is more suitable than Xianyu.Furthermore, although Xianyu bears the responsibility for the failure of good people's cooperation, there are also high-level people in this cake, but it's just that Xianyu alone topped it. In order to prevent Xianyu from biting others, the head office must show something .