Chapter 22 Sarcastic Famous Physicians

(It happened in Chapter 61) Li Ping'er was ill, so it was inevitable to call a doctor to see him.First, I asked a Mr. Hu who opened a medical clinic on the main street. After taking the medicine, he became even more ill.After all, someone recommended a "famous doctor". The first one was the old man He recommended by Ximen Qing's in-law Qiao Dahu. Qiao Dahu introduced him like this: Old man He, who lives in front of our county gate, is a practitioner of medicine.His son, He Qixuan, is now a doctor with a crown. "Crowned doctor" is an official doctor with a position.Qiao Dahu used the fact that Mr. He's son is an official doctor to strengthen Ximen Qing's confidence. This "introduction" itself is already "wonderful" enough.

Old man He came, accompanied by Qiao Dahu and Earl Ying. Qiao Dahu first asked about his son's recent situation. Old man He replied: "He will be greeted and seen off in the county every day, and he is not free. But Lao Zhuo often comes out to see a doctor." Official doctor I live a life of welcoming and seeing off, and I don't have time to see a doctor, which is "wonderful" beyond words.But what the old man said, his intention is to raise his own social status.Earl Ying then asked: "Your old man has lived a long life, how can you still be so healthy?" Old man He said: "I am eighty-one years old this year." Long life does not mean high medical skills. According to prescriptions, medical effects, etc., marking his long life is really ironic about his "foolish old age".

The old man He saw Li Ping'er's pulse, and when he was telling Ximen Qing about her illness (it was wrong), another famous doctor recommended by Ximen Qing's subordinates also came.According to this famous doctor, he introduced himself: In Xiazi, outside the east gate of his home, he lives in the four-eye well of the Erlang Temple in Toutiao Lane, the famous Zhao Tiaogui.He has devoted his life to medicine.The ancestor of the family is now the judge of the Imperial Hospital, and the father is now a good doctor in Rufu.Three generations of ancestors, learning medical skills.Studying Wang Shuhe every day... There is no book without reading, no book without reading.The medicinal method of living in the chest, the clear pulse points to the mystery.

Note: Wang Shuhe was a famous doctor in the Wei and Jin Dynasties, and his "Main Classic" is the earliest monograph on pulse study in traditional Chinese medicine.This doctor boasted that he read all kinds of medical books, but his name was "Zhao Dagui" and "Wonderful"! (It happened in Chapter 61) In the book, this self-proclaimed "Prince Physician" Zhao tricks the ghost, and reads a doggerel through his mouth as a "true introduction". The poem is as follows: My surname is Zhao as an imperial physician, and I am often called in front of the door.

Can only sell rods and rattles, there are real materials. Practicing medicine does not follow good prescriptions, but only depends on the mouth to read the pulse. A pinch of medicine is ineffective in curing a disease, and it is not good to take the accumulation by hand. You have to use rope hoops for headaches, and moxa for eyes. If you feel distressed, you will dare to go out with a knife, but if you are deaf, you should go out with a needle. Get money and blindly gossip about medicine, seeking profit but not results. Looking for my little good and bad luck, I will cry but not laugh when I go to others.

The author made a "self-portrait" of him by using the form of the buffoon's speech in the zaju.This is an ironic technique commonly used in traditional opera.But when it comes to "text," the character is prim and proper boasting. As the saying goes: "One mountain cannot hide two tigers", so the old man He who came first "extended" the later Imperial Doctor Zhao. Old man He said: "You were born in the family? You were born outside the family?" The doctor Zhao said: "What about the family background? What about the outside family?" The good method of pulse management, if you are born outside the school, you can only ask the disease and prescribe medicine." Zhao Taiyi said: "Old sir, you don't know. The ancients said: look, hear and ask, sacred craftsmanship, students born in three generations, ask the disease first, Then look at the pulse. You also need to look at the complexion. Just like Ziping and the five stars, you need to look at the appearance of the hands to be accurate. It's not bad." Old man He said: "If that's the case, sir, please go in and have a look."

The boastful Zhao imperial physician came out after seeing Li Ping'er's illness, and said to Ximen Qing: "If it's not typhoid fever, it's a miscellaneous disease. It's not postpartum, it must be before pregnancy." Ximen Qing said: "It's not this disease." Meals are not very good." That is to say, the patient ate very little, and the doctor guessed wrong again. (It happened in Chapter 61) This self-proclaimed imperial physician Zhao Tiaogui guessed Li Ping'er's illness, but missed once, twice, and even five times. In the end, Ximenqing told him:

To tell you the truth, Mr. Yu, the house is so thick, and the moon water dripping below, so the body is thin and weak.Do you have any emergency prescriptions, take some good medicine with her, I thank you very much. Mr. Zhao said: "Don't worry about it, the villain has medicine, wait for me to go to the front and write out a prescription, so I can dispense the medicine." When Imperial Physician Zhao came out, old man He asked him, "What is the source of the disease?" He had already been told by Ximen Qing, and he immediately replied, "According to the villain, it's just dripping with menstrual flow." Something" The face of the yellow-green doctor vividly appeared on the paper.

He prescribed the medicine, but old man He refuted him again. After hearing this, old man He said: "Take this kind of medicine, if you don't use medicine, you will kill people!" Mr. Zhao said: "Since ancient times, poison has been bitter and beneficial to the disease. It is better to be smart than to just care about it." Note: The idiom originally means "a good medicine tastes bitter and is good for the disease". Here, the good medicine is changed to "poison", which is naturally satirizing this doctor Zhao. "Wrestling is clever" and so on, which means "to die (death) with ease".Ximen Qing knew that he was a quack doctor, and when he heard him say such words, he was of course furious.He scolded: "This guy is talking nonsense, teach the boy to get out with me!" But because Qiao Dahu interceded for him, Ximenqing finally gave him two coins. "Then Imperial Physician Zhao got two coins and went home. He was so busy with his mind that he walked like flying with his feet."

After Zhao Tiaogui was driven away, old man He began to reveal his details, but he "only sold sticks and rang bells on the street to coax people passing by. He didn't know the source of his pulse and illness." The two prescriptions of medicine also "do not see any movement".One of the writing skills mentioned by Lu Xun is "either revealing and full of appearance, or hidden and hidden." The former is used for writing about Zhao Tiaogui, and the latter is used for writing about old man He.Both positive and negative writing portray the appearance of a quack doctor.

(The matter is in Chapter 62) Among Ximen Qing's wives and concubines, Li Ping'er was the most favored, had the most private money, and spent the money most freely, so she had the most flattery.But when she got seriously ill, not many people came to visit her, and they all came with a perfunctory attitude.When the author of the book outlines the faces of those visiting patients, he also does his best to satirize. The Aunt Wang of Guanyin Nunnery, who received her charity, came to visit her sick. From the following narration, it can be seen that the world is hot and cold. (Li Ping'er said) "Master Wang, you have been away since the printing of the scriptures, and you can't be seen from the shadows. I'm not good, why don't you come to see me?" Aunt Wang said; "My grandma, I I don't know if you are not good. Yesterday, his aunt sent a high-ranking official to the nunnery, so I found out. He also said that the scriptures are printed. You don't know. The old man printed a sutra, and only drove the net for her. I made a tael of silver with the sutra printing house behind my back, but I didn’t see any money. You are a blessing, this old whore will fall into Abi Hell tomorrow. I was so angry because of her that I missed my aunt's birthday! I never came." Li Ping'er said: "My aunt really annoyed you, saying that you missed her birthday. Aunt Wang said: "My Bodhisattva, although I am not good? How dare I miss her scriptures? I have been recited at home for a whole month, and I was consummated yesterday. I just came today. I went to the back first, and when I saw her, I I told her all about this humiliation... the aunt taught Miss Xiaoyu to bring me to see you, old man." Note: The "aunt" mentioned by Miss Wang is Wu Yueniang, Ximenqing's main wife. Li Ping'er blamed her for not coming to see her. She said that she came today because she recited the "Shousheng Sutra" for Wu Yueniang at home for a month. .When she came, Wu Yueniang asked the girl to take her to see Li Ping'er. She came to visit the sick, but she didn't ask about the illness, nor did she say any words of comfort. In the money disputes that occurred, she didn't need to state whether she was sincerely visiting the sick. (The matter is in Chapter 62) In the matter of printing scriptures, it can also be seen that Aunt Wang is following the trend.Both Wu Yueniang and Li Ping'er asked her to print scriptures. When Li Ping'er was not sick, she printed for her first. news, which is of course a lie).She also said that in order to get angry with Aunt Xue, she "missed my aunt's birthday", implying that I missed all these "big things", and being late to visit you is nothing.It is written in the book that Li Ping'er was not angry when she heard it, but worried for her and the aunt was annoyed by her. This is also a kind of irony. Another visitor, Mother Feng, has a deeper relationship with Li Ping'er. She is an old servant of Li Ping'er's ex-husband Hua's family.She also benefited more from Li Ping'er than Aunt Wang.But she came to visit after Aunt Wang, so the nanny Ruyi couldn't help but tease her. Ruyi'er said: "Mother Feng, noble lady, why don't you come and see my mother? Yesterday, my father sent Lai An'er to tell you to come, saying that you locked the door, where are you going?" Mrs. Feng said, "I can't explain my suffering, Cheng I went to the temple to practice the Dharma every day, and went out in the morning, maybe it was dark, or it was not until Helai came home, there are still monks Zhang, Monk Li, and Monk Wang..." Ruyier said: "Why do you have these monks, old man? There is no Master Wang here!" Li Ping'er heard this, smiled and said: "Mother, you only care about the wind!" ("Spray the wind" means nonsense.) There is also Wu Yin'er, who tried every means to worship Li Ping'er as a godmother. When Li Ping'er first fell ill, she came to serve him; when he became seriously ill, she disappeared.Once Ximenqing wanted to ask Wu Yin'er to accompany the patient, and said to Li Ping'er: "If you are afraid, I will ask a servant to pick up Wu Yin'er in a sedan chair and be with you for two days." Li Ping'er shook his head and said, "Don't call her I'm afraid I'll miss her family business." It means don't stop people from "getting money".Li Ping'er is quite sophisticated.