Chapter 14 Chapter Fourteen The Ability to Love

If you like each other and want to continue your love relationship, you must have the heart to forgive each other. If everything is held with an attitude of not being able to tolerate sand in the eyes, and every penny is counted, both parties will be suffocated by this, and the relationship between each other will soon fall apart. If you want two people to love each other forever and be happy, to some extent, you must be able to forgive each other and be insensitive. This kind of insensitivity is the ability to maintain a long-term love relationship.Most people will be surprised if I say that insensitivity is what men and women in love need most.On the contrary, many people believe that sensitivity is what makes the relationship between men and women develop.However, this happens only in the early stages of a relationship.After a man and a woman fall in love, in order to maintain a good relationship between the two parties for a long time, not only sensitivity is needed, but also a beneficial insensitivity that can forgive each other.

In the early stage of a relationship, two men and women who don't know each other gradually come together. At this time, both men and women concentrate all their energy on each other. At this stage, they will be very sensitive to each other's words, deeds, and gestures. This phenomenon is the same in the animal world, where male animals try to attract each other with their posture and behavior while monitoring the female animal's reaction. Insensitivity is indeed not enough to form a romantic relationship at this stage. However, the problem comes after falling in love.After a man and a woman are lucky enough to become lovers, both parties will start to hesitate, whether to enter the sanctuary of marriage, or to enjoy the sweetness of love for a while.

From this period on, the two abilities of sensitivity and insensitivity need to be combined at the same time. First, a keen sensibility is required.It goes without saying that it is necessary to have the sensitivity to understand what the other party is thinking, asking for, and how to respond as early as possible. Men and women in love regard each other's sensitivity as tenderness and care for themselves, so the relationship between the two parties develops further in a sweet direction. However, always giving priority to the other party does not guarantee that the relationship between two people will definitely develop smoothly.In a long-term relationship, it happens from time to time that you get hurt and feel unhappy due to some trivial things.

Also, judging from the process of being in love, after dating for more than a year, some small frictions will slowly begin to appear between the man and the woman. Of course, the love relationship between each other will not end because of this, but the two people will feel a little boring. For example, the woman proposed that she wanted to go to the movies this weekend, but her boyfriend told her that she could not go because of something.So the woman gave up her request to watch a movie, but the boyfriend went to play golf with his partner. After the woman knows, she will definitely ask: "Your partner or me, who is more important?"

On the contrary, the man wanted to ask his girlfriend out, but the other party said he had no time to refuse. Afterwards, the man asked carefully, and the girlfriend went to see his friend.Of course the man will have the same complaint. At this moment, if the reaction is too sensitive, things will easily get out of hand.Maybe it will be used as a fuse to burst out the dissatisfaction accumulated in the weekdays, and the two of them will have a big fight. Instead of doing that, it's better to first suppress your own fire pressure and tolerate the other party once. "I also have unsatisfactory places, so forget it." Use this kind of thinking and attitude to forgive the other party.

At this time, insensitivity becomes very important. In the process of maintaining a relationship between a man and a woman, both men and women are actually constantly changing themselves. For example, one of my acquaintances, Mr. K, is forty-five years old this year.Probably because he grew up in a small town by the sea, so he is an out-and-out Japanese food pie. The staple food is of course rice, and the other Mr. K also eats some soba and udon noodles, and the bread hardly sticks.His favorite dishes are vegetables and fish, and the fish is also white and light.He likes both sashimi and grilled fish, and often sighs that there is no good Japanese restaurant.

His alcohol capacity is quite good. No matter where he goes, he always drinks beer and sake. He hardly drinks whiskey and shochu, not to mention red wine.Although he doesn't eat meat at all, at most he goes to a small yakitori shop to eat some chicken, and he is most afraid of eating pork and beef. Therefore, when we are taken to an Italian restaurant or a French restaurant occasionally, he also has an expression of how can such a thing be swallowed. Except for vegetable salad and a little soup, he hardly touches the rest. Naturally, he also took the initiative to declare that he is a Japanese food school, and has always insisted that Japanese food is the best.

It's just such a man who turned into a western food pie at some point. That time we went to the Italian restaurant together, at first I thought he must be particularly reluctant, but after we started eating, I didn't see any dissatisfaction on his face.Even so, I still felt that he probably did this to cater to everyone, but soon I found that he was actually holding a knife and fork, and looked very interested. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Well, it's okay..." He had almost eaten all the Italian food in front of him. The friends who dined with him also stared blankly at him.

Then he picked up the red wine and drank it. So I asked: "Your eating habits seem to have changed a lot, what's the matter?" He said shyly: "To be honest, I'm in love with a woman who is a western food pie." I suddenly realized, and nodded vigorously. It turns out that he changed from a one-sided Japanese food pie to a Western food, which was influenced by his girlfriend.Knowing that his girlfriend likes Western food, Mr. K reluctantly accommodated her at first, and gradually became accustomed to eating Western food. Really love can change a person. If Mr. K hadn't fallen in love with that woman, then he would probably never touch western food and red wine in his life.

Call it a revolution if not a revolution. However, what is more commendable is that Mr. K has the determination and ability to revolutionize himself when he is in love.If it was replaced by a man who was too sensitive in everything, too stick to the rules, and refused to change, such a big change would not be possible. Mr. K was able to change himself brilliantly in his forties.This kind of power that can change people is precisely his excellent insensitivity. In Mr. K's sense of taste, there has always been a hidden flexibility of turning left and right.This is the manifestation of insensitivity, and because of this, he can change himself and develop a more smooth and harmonious relationship with his girlfriend.

Let me introduce another incident that happened to a pair of lovers. The hero is a forty-year-old married man named T; the heroine is thirty-two years old and her name is S. When the two met through work, Mr. T already had a wife, and Ms. S was single. They gradually became close and developed into a so-called extramarital affair. It goes without saying that Miss S likes Mr. T, but sometimes she still gets bored and unhappy because Mr. T is married.In fact, Ms. S knew that Mr. T had a family situation from the beginning of her relationship with him. Even so, she would still suffer from jealousy. For example, in the middle of the night, Mr. T returns home from Miss S.Looking at the back of Mr. T leaving, Miss S will become restless.The thought of Mr. T coming home, with his wife snuggled up beside him, made Miss S's head swell, as if she was going crazy. During the vacation, Miss S proposed to meet Mr. T, but the other party refused on the grounds that "I have something to go out with the children today", she felt that Mr. T didn't care about her at all. In addition, once the scene of Mr. T and his wife holding the child's hand and walking happily together, Miss S will become very angry. After much deliberation, let's break up with this person.Although I had this idea many times, it didn't take long for Miss S to be excited about her date with Mr. T again. "Really, I'm really useless." Miss S Zi unconsciously confided the truth to me once. "If you want to carry love to the end, if you don't have insensitivity, it won't work at all." "Insensitivity?" I asked, then nodded slowly. Indeed, when two people love each other, if one party is too sensitive to the words and deeds of the other party, it may be difficult for the relationship between the two parties to last for a long time.Especially in the case of Ms. S, if she is too sensitive to Mr. T's words and deeds, and often gets angry and cries because of jealousy, the relationship between the two will soon collapse. Of course, I don't agree with this kind of extramarital affairs. What I want to say is that once the two parties fall in love, if they want to continue their love for each other, it is difficult to do it without the kind of blunt force that doesn't care about trivial matters. . Miss S muttered to herself with deep emotion: "The so-called love is tolerance and forgiveness." This sentence really has a profound meaning.If you like each other and hope to continue your love relationship, you must have the heart to forgive each other in some aspects.If you hold an attitude of not being able to tolerate sand in everything, and compare every penny, both parties will be suffocated, and the relationship between each other will soon fall apart. As mentioned earlier, men and women are not the same.Not to mention feelings, even physically and physiologically they are completely different.Therefore, if two people want to love each other forever and be happy, they must be able to forgive each other to a certain extent and be insensitive. This kind of insensitivity is exactly a kind of love ability that makes the relationship last for a long time.