Chapter 25 In those years I bathed in the light of God

I admired Einstein as a child. There is no other reason, but the book described this person as super cool. At that time, I wrote a composition every year with the title "My Ideal". Because I wrote it every year, it was not good to be too repetitive, and it seemed that I was not making progress. I can still remember my ideals including being a member of the People's Liberation Army, a worker, To be a scientist is to be Einstein. All I know about Einstein comes from the set of "Five Thousand Years of the World" that my father bought for me. I still remember a story about Einstein and a broken coat. Now that I think of that story, the meaning is nothing more than It is "the crown is all over the capital, and the man is alone and haggard", or "everyone in the world does not know the king".

The story goes like this. Einstein wore an old coat before he became famous. His friends advised him that you should change to a new coat. Einstein said that no one would recognize me anyway, so why should I wear a new coat?Later, he became famous all over the world, and he was still wearing that torn coat. My friend said that it's time for you to change to a new coat, so that the whole world knows you.Einstein said, the whole world knows me anyway, so why do I need a new coat? I think this is really cool, tsk tsk, who doesn't know someone wearing a torn coat, you have to go home and face the wall and think about it.

After many years, I gradually got the taste. In fact, my dream is just to watch other people face the wall and think about it, not to become Einstein. I don't even know anything about the equation of relativity.I just hope that everyone thinks I am cool, that everyone knows me and gives me a thumbs up. This principle is like my father has always worshiped leaders, but I was a bit of an anti-hero when I was a child, and I had to question people who are superior, so there is a bit of a gap between me and my father.I think my father is old-fashioned, and my father thinks I am young and frivolous.Later, after I graduated from university, I couldn’t talk about politics, I couldn’t talk about politics, I couldn’t talk about women, I couldn’t talk about wolf ambitions, and I was chatting with my father at the dinner table. Only then did I realize that what my father admired was not the leader’s hard work to build the country, but the leader’s personal charm. Invincible, from a humble background and became the number one person in the world, married more than one wife, and raised his arms to call the world to gather, he is really a man of style.In fact, as long as these are satisfied, it doesn't matter whether the leader has opened up a glorious path and established correct theories with the world in mind, the key is to be popular.It was only then that I realized that my father, like me, was just a man who worshiped the wind.

At that time, when I worshiped a person, the key was to look at the result, not the process. Einstein was later abandoned by me, because I was about to pass modern physics, and I lost interest in physics. It was not good without worship, and I was lonely for several years. Not worshiping or believing is actually a psychological crisis. When I was in the United States, I told my beautiful white female boss that China is a society without belief.At that time, my vocabulary was limited and I couldn't spell the party and materialism, so I just wiped it out, saying that we don't believe in anything with China.

"Oh, my god! No religion?" The female boss opened her mouth wide, her eyes seemed to fall into my palm, making me feel like a barbarian from Equatorial Guinea. I thought to myself, what's the big deal if I don't have faith?Since I was a child, I had no faith at all. Didn’t I develop very healthy?You Americans write letters to and from each other, but you are only Catholic, Christian, and Mormon. Is it great to believe in religion? I actually went to church.Churches in the United States have a name, and Chinese churches are either called Baptists or Fellowships.In private, I think these names are very quack, such as Tiandihui Honghuahui and Qingbang Hongmen Shankou Group.It also advocates that brothers are of one heart and promote together. The difference is whether to bring a knife to kill people. I go to church mainly to find food.At that time, I was not very good at cooking, and I didn’t have a lot of money in my pocket. In the United States, eating sashimi cost 50 dollars per person, and eating a bowl of beef noodles cost 6 dollars. Hello brothers, just go to the event and eat for free.The free meals are not luxurious, and the single page is quite rich. There are drinks, dumplings, and Sun brand crispy rice.When I first joined the church, I thought it was just eating and drinking, but unexpectedly I would hold hands and sing after eating.At that time, there was a beautiful woman in the Department of Economics of the University of Washington. I admired her beauty in my heart, but because I always buried my head in rice crusts and dumplings, when I pulled it, the hands of the beautiful woman had been wiped with oil and sweat by my brothers. It is inconvenient for me to compete with my brothers, so I have to pull some old men.

The lyrics of the church singing are wonderful. The opening line is: "I am a little bird." That's right, that's it. The second sentence is: "Fly over the mountains, fly over the rivers, and see the Creator." Whether it is a little shock, if you faint, get up and we will continue. Some brothers have a solid foundation of materialism and are not strong enough to withstand it. They retreated quickly and refused to eat when they had food.Next, the church will also arrange Bible study classes, Chicago Retreat and other activities. Instead of focusing on eating, everyone will tell the story of the Lord behind closed doors.I went to search the scriptures once, "The Gospel of Luther", during which time I conceived a story called "The Story of Love and Enmity". The spicy story, God did not throw the thunder on my head, it can already show that He is merciful.

By the way, most of the novelettes I wrote when I was in the United States are a bit vulgar when I look back now.The only ones that can be seen are a few articles such as "The Thousand and One Nights of the God of Death", all of which are based on martial arts and fantasy to describe real people and real events. It can be seen that fantasy is still not enough. Closer to home, after the Bible study everyone started to recruit new believers.Usually, brothers and sisters who are traumatized or confused are more likely to be called. Several people look glamorous, but they have been traumatized in their families or relationships.I watched everyone sitting scattered on the sofa explaining the truth of God, and I was a little puzzled. Some church members came to ask me if I had any doubts in my heart.I thought hard, except that in high school I felt that I might not be able to get into a good university and was a candidate for a period of time. The rest of my life was very peaceful. I still don’t know what a woman is, so I didn’t feel sad for a broken love. Overwhelmed.The brothers in the church saw that my heart was as invulnerable as a golden bell and an iron cloth shirt, and felt that the new society had poisoned me too deeply, so they refused to call me for the next Bible study.

But I still go to eat, because I love crispy rice. The newcomer came in the second year, and a junior sister brought her husband with her.My younger sister, God of Wealth, is very interested in her thoughts, but my husband is in the same path as me, and the plate is piled high with crispy rice.After the meal, everyone mentioned a doctrine that people who do not believe in God cannot go to heaven. The husband should ask, so can good people not go to heaven?The leader of the fellowship association said that he is a good person, and if he does not believe in me, God will not enter my door, and he will not be able to get in.The husband was furious and said: "Then Lei Feng can't get in?"

The scene was in an uproar. This was a confrontation between the idol of the country and the gods of the Western Regions. The brothers of the fellowship met unprecedented challenges. They had a premonition that if they were not careful, they would destroy our Great Wall.So the brothers with the deepest experience in Bible study sat around and debated. There was no singing that night. I listened with a rice cake in my hand, and inadvertently showed the smile of a young old thief. A church member who often joked with me saw it, came up to pat me, and sighed: "You must go to hell if you look like this."

After that, I couldn't even receive emails about free meals. In this way, I missed God.There was a year when I enjoyed the food he bestowed and basked in his brilliance, but my heart was covered with a dark umbrella. After returning to China, I met my college classmate, we can call him Old L.It's a shame to meet Qi Kuo.Our whole class is floating in the sea, and all of us have joined the foreigners, and those who are still in China can be called sparks. Old L has believed in Christianity, or is about to believe it, and is dying. It is said that he has to pay a tenth tax to join the Christianity, and it is difficult to turn back after joining.Old L has long worshiped Christianity to the fullest, but still lacks the shock of an electric shock at the moment of a boy's first love, so he lingers.In short, the whole heart has been promised, just wait for a thunderbolt to strike the top of the head, splitting the heart in the dust, and then whether it is going to take a bath in the Ganges, go on a pilgrimage to Mecca on foot, or wait for the body to kowtow to Potala. not regret.

But if you believe in a religion, you will be a believer in it. Old L's research on religion is slightly inferior to mine, so I gave him a make-up lesson on religion while drinking with him.I studied Buddhism for a while before, and read a few books on Inheritance. I felt that I had scratched the surface of Indian philosophy, so I used Inheritance to deduce theology.I used chopsticks to draw on the table, started to analyze from a point of origin, went down step by step, and finally told old L that there is a break point between the teachings of Christianity and the logic common to human beings, which is the difference between "believe" and "unbelieve". gap between.You believe, OK, the world is safe, you are a man of God, but you can explain it no matter what; if you hesitate to believe it or not, if you ask God to prove it to you first, then you are finished, and the existence of God cannot be proved. Old L couldn't argue with me logically, but he had no choice but to agree, and was very distressed. Once again, I drank a lot with old L, and finally the hotel closed. The two of them bought a few cans of beer in the 24-hour convenience store, and sat on the steps of the street late at night, saying that the years are like water, and that life and death are as good as each other. Homeless bum.The old L talked to me about God again, and the old L said that I think I will believe it in the end. You are a breaking point, the water is so close, I can jump in one step, regardless of your logic or logic, you can’t stop me.Believe me in this way, and I will die, quietly and peacefully. Old L has always been a peaceful person. I think what he didn’t say is that even if I kick my legs, I can do it more calmly than you. I don’t have to be like you when I’m dying. A woman who can't ask for a project can not understand the philosophical problem, and finally sat up abruptly and recited a poem saying "Life is fifty years, the past is like a dream". I said can your soul go to heaven?Old L said I don't know. I recalled that he said that he would die if he believed in it, he was quiet and peaceful, and felt very good. As I wrote this, I wanted to treat Old L to another drink.