Chapter 2 Chapter two

After the novel was published, my life was completely messed up.Countless letters flocked in from all over the country, and the contents of the letters were varied.In addition to talking about the feelings after reading the novel and various life problems and literary problems, many people also regard me as a "mentor" who grasps the mysteries of life, and ask me for advice: "How should people live?" I am dumbfounded.There are also some frustrated young people who have suffered setbacks, and they stipulate that I must write to them a few months ago to enlighten them, otherwise they will die for me.At the same time, strangers came to visit me one after another, wanting to discuss or "discuss" various issues with me.Some acquaintances will inevitably add to the chaos.The publications requested drafts, and many theater companies, TV stations, and film studios wanted to adapt their works, and telegrams and phone calls continued one after another, often waking me up from the bed in the middle of the night.A year later, when the film was released and national opinion was boiling, I felt completely overwhelmed.In addition, I have become a "celebrity", and relatives and friends come to my door one after another, either asking for money or asking me to intercede to arrange their children's jobs. It seems that I am not only rich, but also powerful and omnipotent.What's more, some literary vagrants who traveled around the world without a penny at that time, in rags, came to the door with a shabby pride and solemnity, asking me to provide them with travel expenses to finance their sacred inclinations.This is tantamount to taking advantage of the fire.

Maybe a lot of people envied my scenery at that time, but to be honest, I wish I could see a crack in the ground and get in quickly. I deeply feel that although the creative process is extremely difficult and the successful result is extremely glorious, although all hardships are for success; however, the greatest happiness in life may lie in the creative process, not in the result. I can't live like this anymore.I must free myself from the web of my own weaving.Of course, I am by no means a saint.Any limited success in my decades-long journey of starvation, missteps, frustration, and self-torture in the pursuit of a purpose was all that mattered to me.I feel the warmth of life for my labor like cattle and horses to get some kind of reward.I don't say no to flowers and red carpets.But, honestly, there is no way I could be long-term content in such an over-dramatic life.I yearn to plunge back into a heaviness.Only in the extremely heavy labor, people will live a more fulfilling life.This is my basic view of life.When I think about it, by far the best days of my life were the twenty-odd days I spent writing the first draft.Prior to this, my debut novella at the age of 28 had won the first national excellent novella award. It was because I was not satisfied that I devoted myself to writing.For this purpose, I have prepared for nearly two years, and my thoughts and artistic considerations have been tortured; and when I finally crossed the barriers and entered the actual performance, my spirit really reached the point of ecstasy.I remember that in the past month, I worked eighteen hours a day. I couldn’t distinguish between day and night. My whole body seemed to be on fire. When I became suspicious, I called the county party committee and said that the young man might be insane, and I was afraid that he would look for "impermanence".The county party committee instructed that the man was writing a book, so don't disturb him (I heard later).Isn't all of this more desirable than this flashy hustle and bustle?Yes, as long as you don’t lose your great sense of mission, or keep a relatively clear mind, you definitely can’t moor the ship of life in a warm harbor for a long time. You should raise your sails again and sail into the stormy waves of life. To appreciate the infinite scenery in between.People should not only overcome failure, but also surpass victory.