Chapter 8 1894

Gide was not in Paris from October 1893 to the end of August 1894. He stayed in the south of France, visited some places in Tunisia and Algeria, and also visited cities such as Naples in Italy.After returning to northern France, I went to Lausanne, Switzerland in mid-August, and arrived in Neuchâtel in mid-September. The most wonderful things are things prompted by madness and written by reason.There must be something in between: close to madness when dreaming, close to rationality when writing. I finally understood this sentence of Goethe: "I would rather commit an injustice than tolerate a disorder."

I think "Palud" is a patient's work, and I find it difficult to revise it now.This proves otherwise that I am now in good shape; my lyrical enthusiasm has not deserted me for a single moment, and it is this work, which I have struggled most with, that I have tried to minimize.In short, it's no longer a chore to push me to write; it's a discovery. Even here, autumn has its charms.This evening I climbed up to the woods overlooking the city: I followed a road lined with orange-yellow lindens and walnut trees; The walnuts were cracked with a pole, and a smell of sodium iodide emanated from the peels peeled off by the child on the ground.The warm wind blows hard.Someone is plowing near the woods.Pedestrians greeted each other loudly, and the children's singing seemed to come from farther away.I thought of Couverville and La Roque, of the funeral in my absence.At this moment, presumably my relatives are also enjoying the beautiful scenery by the forest, walking slowly towards home.Lighted lamps have been placed on their tables, tea is ready, other people's books...

I will continue to read Leibniz, which I have put down, every autumn for three years, first all the short essays and some letters, then the first part of Theodicy; Comment".For two consecutive autumns, I have also read Fichte's works. Will I still have time this year?To be prepared, I carried "Principles of Science" with me.Every autumn I also read Dickens, Turgenev, or Eliot, especially Dickens, in the evening, after a long walk in the woods: I put on my slippers, and sit by the fire drinking Tea, and always in this green-covered armchair by La Roque. And the ringing of the dinner bell, the sight of my mother sitting at the big table reading... Will this all end?

During this period, an old tune of all my former piety and zeal revived again; and I became wise and taciturn again. Now I think for an hour better than they think for a whole week.I think, I almost no longer cranky, that is to say, my thoughts are no longer erratic, fuzzy, but immediately form a clear outline, if there is no pen and paper to write down, I will fidget, so a word Keep a sentence in mind, and make notes immediately when you return to your residence. I begged someone to get me a little volume of Ravatel's from Germany.Goethe said that he was an "irreplaceable" person, and Novalis still read his works in the last few years when he was lying on the sickbed. Why is such a passionate and affectionate person not known to more people?For people to read this passage, it should be placed before my translation and Tick's preface:

"I tell it every year on my birthday, and every day of my life I think: Thinking is the life of life; and how little we think! How seldom do we arrange our lives for life!" (This sentence cannot Translation: Wie selten machen wir unser Leben zum Leben!) This quote is included in my collection of poems: "Honey, let's live as hard as we can." I no longer wish to understand a morality which neither permits nor teaches us to use and develop our powers to the fullest, most sublime, and freest. Some people, even when telling the truth, are artificial; but we must be sincere, even to the edge of lying.

Genius is a scary thing. If a thing is complicated, it will never be free, and it will always lose some of its original purity. Biography of Lessing.Voltaire seemed to have treated him unkindly; nothing has tarnished that image, in my opinion, more than the disturbance of the Saxon banknote.Lessing's arrival in Leipzig was also very gratifying: he was only seventeen years old and lived only with books, and he was surprised to see this lively upper class;He was the shadowless Pete Shlemmer, who was afraid to say hello to anyone.He came to study theology, while learning fencing and dancing.

These wonderful words of his should be quoted: "The value of a person does not lie in the truth he grasps, or thinks he grasps, but in his sincere efforts to obtain the truth. Because people do not grow their talents and gradually improve by pursuing the truth, not by possessing it. Yes. If God holds all in his right hand and the eternal desire for right in his left hand, even if man always makes mistakes in his pursuit, if God says to me: 'Choose!' then I will humbly grasp his left hand and answer thus : 'Give me this, Father; for the pure truth is for you only.'” I don't know which pope saw God at the moment of death, and God said to him: "Now, I will take you into my glory." The pope replied: "Oh! Lord, I am studying your Trinity, almost A new argument has been found. An hour will suffice, and I shall study the night."

Truth belongs to God, ideas belong to man.Some people confuse thought with truth. "Actually, there is thought first, and then there is truth, isn't it?" (Leibniz: "New Commentary") This paragraph was written by Gide on the train going to Montigny to meet his friends. "The temptations that God sends you are all in line with human nature; and God, who is fair, also empowers you to overcome temptations." Thought is temptation, a temptation from God, but it is not God sent us, but it is Born out of a search for God.Such temptations should be overcome, since they can be overcome.Other temptations, perhaps better called desires, also do not come from God, but, on the contrary, when we look at God, they come from behind us to divert our gaze; Elimination, and I don't understand why it is necessary to kill them all for too long and hard, at least this attempt lasts too long, which is not conducive to a certain exercise of the will; It will over-restrict our energy and over-display its importance.One cannot get rid of it, and in desire the mind is at first reluctant, and then soon exhausted.These are natural desires which a young mind has the right to feel proud of when it is resisted for a long period of time, and the chief care should be taken to silence them, or to use them for their own sake, for desires are good, and their fulfillment is good; It will stimulate desire for a long time, which is not good, because it will make people confused.

At least, that's how I think about it today.Free your mind at any cost.Noble minds are to be engaged in nobler things.I know some souls so noble that love of God is more ardent than any other desire; and this angelic ardor seems to absorb another flame; For horror.This is often a form of fanaticism, more often a form of ignorance.I used to yearn for such fanaticism, but now I don't think about it that way.I would worship God with every part of me, seek him from every side, detract nothing, extol every part; I do not think it good to pray.Prayer is the praise of God, and our whole life is this constant prayer, and I dismiss any other prayer; our life may be love, pain, or humiliation.I hope it's just for love.Pain and humiliation come from a decayed reason; I no longer wish to silence reason so that the heart may speak.My heart naturally speaks.My reason was chosen to sing the praises of God, like the rest of my being; is it not something in God?Isn't it approaching God quietly?

It was my reason that God tempted to test, and that was His way of talking to reason.If reason is no longer tempted, God seems silent to it; and in the fear of inaction, it seeks to seduce itself, which is a risky attempt to test God. The temptation of God shows the election of the heart.My soul loves to be tempted.That way it has confidence. Ask Madeleine for a little fragment of the taste of our time. This, Lord, I must hide from all others; yet there are moments, there are moments, when I feel that the world is hopelessly chaotic, that every harmony my mind conjures up is broken; that to seek the highest order, even I can't bear to think about it; I am troubled by the sight of poverty, and my old prayers and pious sorrows of the past come back to my mind; The best ever.

Lord, give me strength to express to others only my quiet, wondrous, mature thoughts. Sometimes I just think, "I can't be free. Man can't be free. Lord, teach me!" Still, it's a call to a temporary state of mind. Religious skepticism: mediocre.I am always bored and awkward when people tell me about their doubts.These doubts arise from the cowardly thought that as soon as the eyes are turned from the direction of Mecca, God is no longer visible. To put the two parts of one's nature in opposition and to be an enemy of one's own nature, of course, can cater to one's self-esteem and help stimulate poetic emotion; however, this is contrary.Understand God plainly, and you will be willing to conform to things, to yourself.This is much more difficult than resistance, at least requires greater wisdom; to do so requires intelligence, and the attitude of resistance does not need to be intelligent. (The wise man) To serve God not with wisdom means to serve Him with a part of himself. Law and morality mainly play an educational role, and because of this, they are also temporary.Any education naturally has a tendency to strive to get rid of law and morality, and another tendency to self-denial.Laws and morals are made for the state of childhood; education is a liberation.A city-state, a perfectly sensible country, the judges have norms in their heads, and live and judge without laws.A wise man lives according to wisdom without morality.We should try to reach the lofty realm of immorality. Some people confuse thought with truth (cf. Leibniz's New Review).Truth is always good, but ideas, to be expressed, are often dangerous.It will be said that thought is the seduction of its own truth.But it is not good to seduce other truths.God dispatches temptations according to each individual's ability.It is neither good nor wise to offer them temptations that they cannot overcome.That is why clumsy education is so terrible, why one should not proclaim one's thoughts in too high a tone, lest some weakling cannot understand them. Truth can be declared to all; thoughts are spoken with measure, according to the abilities of each subject. In any relationship, there is a possibility of influence. God the payer, the just overseer... It is well for young minds to realize that no matter which side they turn, God cannot be out of sight. Distressed Possibility: The mind thinks it's the wrong love. (The Death of Miss Clare.) To know God is to find him.Pascal said through the mouth of Christ: "You will not seek me, if you have not found me." This is because once met, there is always a further demand, to see the venerable God everywhere again. image.I never want to know God any other way than through the study of various things.What other people call "gratitude", I think it is my appreciation.This appreciation, to be more and more clear as I wish, has given me a love of duty.The laws of nature are the laws of God: he who knows and obeys these laws will be happy; of what use are the Ten Commandments?The Ten Commandments of Moses are eternal; they are in our hearts.They were broken by Moses and survived.He who consciously obeys these precepts is wise; nature compels madmen to obey.What you do with a duty, with a frown of fear, I do with a smile of love, with a smile of love.I love God only because God is in my heart; I admire him only because he is beautiful.Know that God is everything, and for the understanding, everything is beautiful. I say this to you, I think, as an excuse for not using a prayer stool.But a noble and strong man need not speak these words.Their adoration was such a natural exuberance that even the word God was no longer on the lips.Yet they were not insolent, but submissive and pious, if you call piety the passion to accept a subordination, obedience to the wisest laws. My Mind: A construction site. An effort at virtue and vice.Become Lyncus. The history of the past is the history of all the truths liberated by man. This is a good way. If my plans for the winter are being realized one by one, then I should pick up the diary again.The reason why the diary has been left for so long is because of the proliferation of small things, the complexity of life, and travel.When things stop for a while, I can pick them up again. For a long period of time, I let my life flow freely, let everything take its course, and expect to learn from the things I have experienced; when a certain time comes, I should settle down, review the new gains, filter them, sort out the good ones, and firmly hold on. I was very diligent in my youth, and later I could look forward to receiving a new education from the outside world; at first I only knew myself, and later I was able to travel, discover things, and pay attention to things more than myself; I need a full review, need more time to think, so that the whole thing feels immersive. I live in seclusion in this small village, without acquaintances, and without any sights to see. In short, I can't find any entertainment. I can only enjoy myself and take care of myself. To take care of oneself and be appropriate is not to improve oneself? The local scenery was not good and the season was bad, so I buried myself in work and had to be locked in the house for a long time. In order to complete the diary, I take a look at it as a mirror, and sometimes I see the appearance I want to change; so I think: "I was like that before, but I don't want to be like this now." Diary can urge some bad Thoughts speed past, explore doubts, and confirm good thoughts.It's a conscious, deliberate self-inspiration. Very bad and should not be kept.against my mind.Consider the letter to Madeleine dated October 21, 1894. Transcript of letter to Madeleine dated 21 October. I picked up again what I think was a diary I had left off for four years.Tired of my constant introspection, which at last jeopardized my free and normal growth, I wanted to throw myself into materialistic desires, to follow the example of the followers of Pantheism and Spinoza, and to re-dedicate my education to all things. .Now that I have been influenced a little by you, and here has the advantage of a quiet environment, I am willing to resume a kind of self-education, to pay attention to myself again, and to stop living in a self-sufficient way.In short, as the book of Ecclesiastes says: "A time to reap, a time to reap." I am also like a marmot in winter, living on my own fat. (How hungry should I be in spring!!) So, I started journaling again...what better period?All life outside is silent, but my thoughts are with me.As I wrote down one by one, I felt that I gave these thoughts a more real existence; from this I saw my state at that time, and I understood more clearly what I wanted to be. I have been extremely excited in recent days, and now I am exhausted.The head was heavy and a mess inside.Can't work well.The only sensible thing to do was to go for a walk, but there were letters to be answered which I had been writing all morning.I spent the whole day yesterday writing letters, and I haven't had time to send them yet.I have to wait until the state is completely normal before starting to write this diary; but I don't know how long this numb state will last. I think this is the reason for the four-day trip to Geneva and Dijon.And all the hassle of settling in. The piano arrived this morning.In order to be able to work standing up, I had the village carpenter install three large shelves on the wall of the studio.One was for the manuscript of Pallude, another for the translation of Novalis, and a third, much larger, for the rest of the books.The carpenter also installed a shelf for books above the piano. The book is placed far away, out of reach, for fear of disturbing my writing. The work efficiency was poor, and I was tired in the evening, so I went out to refresh myself.Headache, all kinds of feelings are empty and indifferent.Wandering for a long time in the thin fir forest; the sky is dark, the scenery is gloomy; the tall arnica is rotting due to the recent rains; a few gentians are still blooming; Scatter powder when broken. There was no unique excitement, nor a single thought. I sat down on a felled tree and began to recall the gardens of Biskra.At such moments Sadek Bubakar would come and sit by my fire, without saying a word, but smoking his little hemp-stalked pipe.Paul leaves work and returns surrounded by Altman and Bachir.Will I have the patience to wait here until spring? This evening, the shelves are all secured.My books can be taken out, and the scores and manuscripts are all arranged.I started living again.I have accumulated a lot of notes, and it will take a week to transcribe and sort them out. Racine's "Phaedel". In the French works I have seen so far, without exception, the lack of structure and coherence is the sign of error, the cause of bankruptcy. We are born madmen.I hope to prove it with fiction.Some people confuse realism and positivism too much, and this is precisely the crux of the matter.For a long time, literary criticism has been lost, always arguing about the amount of vulgarity in the work.In fact, this is just a vocabulary problem.A so-called realist is one who calls something outright vile, yet people appreciate the roundabout way. If one is talking about positivism, a consensus will soon be reached. It cannot be said that the positivist novel violates its own position--some works of M. Goncourt are evidence--but there is a big fallacy.If so, then this is one of a kind.Now, the novel should prove that it can be something other than just a mirror that moves along the way.It would prove that it emerged from the French tradition, but not in a decent way, that it could be a work of art assembled from parts, not trivial and accidental, but a kind of high-level realism-as Maucleur said. I mean ideal realism—more real than the so-called real things, not realistic, just like a mathematical triangle is more realistic and real than a surveyor's imperfect triangle.As regards the relation of the parts of a work, each part must also prove the truth of the other parts.Nothing else is more irritating than what M. Goncourt proposes, without any other proof.He saw it with his own eyes!He heard it with his own ears!As if it had to be proved by facts.Just as there is no difference between the spiritual world and the physical world, the microcosm and the macrocosm do not embody the same laws.One sure, the other unreliable... The novel will prove that it can describe something other than reality—feelings and thoughts directly; it will show how far it can deduce things before they happen, that is, how far it can conceive, become artwork. It will also show... I feel that the whole positive phase of the French novel, as judged by the two Messrs. Goncourt, is a long fallacy.This fallacy is catered to in French thought... (see previous page). Pierre-Louis thought that I did not write much for entertainment and complained about it.First of all, I think we should not entertain people, but should.Secondly, I have this ambition to write extremely interesting things!I am willing to exchange the boredom of most people for the passion I can give to a young reader, because that young man will remember it in his heart. For me, my desire is what I am willing to give to others: a reward. Couldn't they just leave us alone now, and stop us from seeing this sarcastic criticism of M. Mallarmé, this absurd mockery!This kind of stuff can make a person vicious.If ever there was one man who deserved the admiration and admiration some have rightly accorded him, it was he.Today we have no greater poets (Rimbaud seems to have died).True, "Margot does not weep," but I am well aware that we have wept when we read these poems: ... Metals of all kinds gave me youthful hair, Thick style and a kind of fateful brilliance! luxurious!Well, ebony black... etc. I really don't know how to quote these lines.But I know there are nights when I can't even talk because my throat tightens just thinking about the clanging syllables of these lines. These verses, which we carry in our memory, like food for a journey, on the way of death, on a particularly remote pilgrimage—and some of Baudelaire's, or The Drunken Boat, we can recite for a long time. You won't get tired all day long, just like chewing tobacco leaves. Some people are not very talented, and they don’t feel much after reading these poems, so there’s nothing to do. I feel sorry for them, and it’s a bit too naive to openly criticize these people.Anyone who does this deserves a diploma in stupidity. I fully understand that there is no reason for these words to be put here, but some things are stuck in the throat and can't be said quickly, no matter where they are, like shouting or throwing garbage. These words, I am willing to say, because I do not think that Mr. Mallarme admires madly and blindly.Nor can I appreciate his poems and prose equally, or some poems and all his poems equally. I suppose it was before birth that Nature suggested, "I will give you this, and what shall I take from you?" The passionate poet cried out: "Nature! Take from me all the common things you want; give me something rare." I picked up Virgil's "Idyll" again.I thought I had memorized it all, but I felt like I had never read it; a wonderful gift, like a new poet.All the rest, thought and quantity, can be grasped, learned, and remembered, but this harmony of lines, this harmony of colour, line, and sound, always remains a little incomprehensible.Memory is useless in this respect; it is something external, right across from us, and every time we look at it, we feel a new astonishment. Of all poets, Virgil fascinates me the most; I do not find this pleasure even in Chenier's poems.Theocritos, I don't know him, although I read his poems with Eli Allegra once (I didn't understand them at the time).I need to talk to Deruane. On the way from Neuchâtel to Basel, I saw a large factory against the night sky. man!The most complex organisms, and therefore the most dependent.You are attached to everything that makes you up.Do not resist this near slavery, but know that more laws are criss-crossing you, and therefore more wondrous.You owe so much, with all the qualities, to just pay the corresponding dependencies.Understand that independence is a state of poverty.Many things call upon you, but many things also stand by you. One thing is never born for another, whatever that is.Any behavior should find its own reason for existence and its own purpose, and don't care about other things.Don't do good or evil for reward; don't make art for action, don't love for money, don't fight for life.Art for art's sake, good for good's sake, and evil for evil's sake, love for love's sake, fight for fight's sake, and live for life's sake.Nature intervenes in other things, and other things have nothing to do with us.Everything in this world is connected and interdependent, we know that; but doing everything for its own sake is the only way to justify its value. Here I am going to talk about living for the sake of living, to cry with Ravatel: "My dear ones, let us live, let us live as much as we can!" "Take what you have." We have nothing but the feelings that things give us; and in order to bestow these feelings, things also lend us.Things and people are just a way and a means of emotion for us.It is wrong to be obsessed with objects; we have never had objects.To have...is to have what is necessary.Hold what you have, and to add: Hold only what you have. Things are the mouthpieces of God: things pass away, but the meaning of God's words remains.We can regret things, alas!Like, after hearing very sweet words, regretting the irreplaceable tone in which they were spoken.The beauty of people and things; the beauty of places; the voice of God. I saw the wrinkle, and I told him it was the result of a great exhaustion.This exhaustion is due to my indulgence.Liberal action, if directed by strong desires, great passions, unwavering wills, is all right; it is not: give me such an equal citizenship of each desire, and welcome all desires with such alike, As a result, at this moment, at the same time, they all want to grab the first position.Now I think that people have no ability to choose, and every action is always unable to withstand the temptation of the strongest desire; even self-forgetfulness is the temptation of pride; or it is infatuated love.All the rest is indifferent (never minded), less attractive, and easier to act; even the most voluntary behavior is nothing but a covert indulgence.and so on. oh!If I could simplify my thinking... Sometimes, for a whole morning, I would just stand there in a daze, and I would feel extremely uneasy about anything, and I would just want to do everything.The desire to learn is my greatest temptation.There are twenty or thirty books in front of me, all of which have their beginnings.If you listen to me, you will laugh. I can't read a book. The desire to read it all is too strong.I pick up a book and read three lines, and I think about everything... (In an hour I have to see Paul and Pierre; alas! I almost forgot about Étienne; he must be sad on the way, I still want to buy live cuffs; Luoer is still waiting for me to send her flowers...) Oh!My time!My time will pass like this, until I die!oh!Being able to live on a foreign beach for a period of time, as soon as I get outside, I can bask in the sun, enjoy the sea breeze, and look at the endless ocean... I just go out... My spirit is tired, and it will be better if I go for a walk... But, I I decided to spend an hour practicing music... well!There is a knock on the door!I can't stand people coming to see me! . . . (Get rid of it at last: a waste of an hour to say the least!)—There are people, I exclaimed aloud, who are so happy that their every moment is so full that they have to follow it.oh!Sit back and watch the sky!Sit back and watch the sky! Beware, Nathanael, of all those means of happiness.Above all, don't choose: firstly, one cannot speak of choosing, and secondly, it is dangerous to think one is choosing; for to choose one must judge, and judgment always means ... besides, and so on. For adoption by Marcel Derouin. Training methods for motivating work. 1. Spiritual law: a Thoughts of imminent death. b Competitive; a true sense of one's own time and the creations of others. c Feel one's own age artificially; be competitive by comparison with biographies of great men. d Observe the labor of the poor; it seems to me that only forced labor can justify my wealth.Wealth is seen only as a license to work freely. e Comparing today's work with yesterday's work; choosing again as a standard day the day I worked most diligently; convinced of the false reasoning that nothing prevents me from working the same today. f Read mediocre or poor writing; feel hostile and exaggerate danger.To write with hatred for those authors. (Method works, but is more dangerous than competition.) 2. Substance law (not sure about each): a Diet. b Keep the head and the ends of the feet very warm. c sleep time should not be too long (seven hours is enough). d In reading and playing music, never think of practice; for practice, pick an ancient author, and read only (but very carefully) three lines.Whenever this is the case, I pick up works by: Virgil, Molière, and Bach (read without the aid of the piano); Voltaire's Candide; or, for quite different reasons, read The first few volumes of Flaubert's correspondence, or Balzac's Letters to his sister. In the bedroom, put a low bed, leaving some space, a wooden cabinet with a wide horizontal board at elbow height, a small square table, and a hardwood chair.I imagine lying down, conceiving while walking, writing while standing, and transcribing while sitting.These four postures have almost become essential to me. If I don't do very hard things, I can't praise myself.I naturally thought that whoever did it was easier, so what I did, anyone could have done. Deep down, I've never been sure that I was superior to anyone else; that's why I can reconcile a special humility with a special pride. e Be healthy.used to be sick. In the studio, no works of art, or very few, and very serious: (no Botticelli) Masaccio, Michelangelo, Raphael's "School of Athens"; but , it is better to hang a few portraits or a few masks: Dante, Pascal, Leopardi; pictures of Balzac, etc. No other books except dictionaries.No distraction or interest whatsoever.Apart from work, don't want anything to relieve boredom. I don't engage in politics, and almost never read newspapers; however, no matter who you are with, don't miss the opportunity to talk about politics; it's not about understanding public affairs, but knowing people's characters subtly. Imagination (in me) seldom precedes conception; it is not imagination, but conception that excites my emotions; Futile passion.The idea of ​​a work is its composition.How many artists today, because of imagining too hastily, create outdated and poorly structured works.As for me, the conception of a work often precedes it by several years. Once a work has been conceived, I mean: once the work has been organized, drafting consists basically in eliminating everything that is useless to its organism. I am fully aware that what makes an artist unique comes from another source, but woe betides anyone who writes with individuality in mind.Personality, if it is sincere, is always quite evident, and the words of Christ apply to art as well: "He who would save his life (personality) must lose it." Therefore, this first job I did while walking.At such times, the outside world has a great influence on me, and for me, distraction is also fatal.For creation must always proceed naturally; one must concentrate on one's own ideas, neither bored nor irritable.Sometimes the idea is delayed and you have to wait.Have infinite patience.Forcing an idea doesn't help, it'll look awkward, and the end result is that you don't know why you're attracted to it.The best ideas come only when the place is vacated and there is no other idea.It can only be invoked by abandoning any other thought.Sometimes I wait for more than an hour.If, unfortunately, I feel nothing at all, I can't help but think: I wasted time, it's over, time is lost. Aunt Charles... She asserted something without giving any reason, and anyone who saw her would blame her for being so confident.This is because she knows and understands very few things, and she always expresses her opinion immediately when she encounters something, but she doesn't listen to different opinions.She didn't even understand that my uncle would be troubled by her blind self-confidence... Ugh!This just made me measure her timidity, lack of self-confidence, and wanting to show that she understands better than her mother.My aunt didn't take this very seriously, which is why it's so strange: what one finally understands is what one blames oneself for. In spite of this, my aunt's affection and my aunt's company are particularly strong, perhaps because she sails to uncertain shores with a purposeless passion: her thoughts attract我并引起我兴趣的，正是这种鲁莽、爱冒险、容易造成伤害的特质，也是这种不计后果的态度，在很大程度上，也是我对叔父极深挚感情的喷放。再者，因为她经受了许多痛苦，并且会日益痛苦，但是因她本人之故；不应当抛弃将要受苦的人。最后，还有她那异乎寻常的忠诚。然而，妈妈认为婶母对我有影响，可大错特错了： 我感到能为她做许多事，并不是因为受了她影响，而是因为我很爱她，有朝一日她才能需要我，我也愿意事先就向她证明她可以指望我。至于影响，妈妈以为自己毫无影响，其实她更有可能…… 给瓦朗蒂娜…… Well!亲爱的朋友，要尽量，尽量理解一点别人——况且，这比什么都更有助于相互了解。别人也一样有秘密；每颗心灵都有伤感事。我们不要以为他们因为藏在心里，就不是像我们这样有烦恼的时刻。愿他们的交心引发我们的交心，不过，愿他们的沉默教导我们沉默，须知这其中有比怨艾更美的一种审慎。 我比较愿意这样考虑，我们多么亲爱的父母，现在显得如此平静，当年恐怕同我们一样，也有过反抗和神魂颠倒的日子。然而，时间多能让人平静下来！时间多能摧毁！多能伤害啊！我们不能容忍时间肆意妄为，要从时间手中夺取胜利，事先就把胜利掌握在我们手中，以便至少还能有几分自豪感。不要等待时间安抚我们平静了；时间带来的安宁具有过分浓重的哀伤色彩。我们要自行平静下来，从我们自身获取安宁，而这种安宁会更加喜幸。 我们要扼杀不安的心灵上这类不成型的念头，因为，我们还弄不清自己拥有什么，这类念头就会使我们眼高手低，期望值过高，结果更糟。到后来，这些就要结出太多的苦果。至于个人主义的那些自豪的、高尚而美好的思想，我们只保留我们感到有能力，并愉快坚持到底的几种，当然也要兢兢业业。 小说极好的题材！假如我只写一本书，表现一下这些大事，我也的确就心满意足了。还会有第三代人（我们的子女），他们也要产生怀疑，也要想象我们不可能理解他们；这些怀疑，现在我们正在经历。目睹自己所爱的人产生这些怀疑，明知他们会一无所获，却又无能为力，这情况也许并不那么令人伤心…… 有助于形成我个性的名人。 《圣经》 巴赫达·芬奇 埃斯库罗斯舒曼伦勃朗 欧里庇得斯肖邦丢勒（阿尔伯雷奇） 帕斯卡尔普桑 海涅夏尔丹 Turgenev 叔本华 米什莱 卡莱尔 福楼拜 Edgar Allan Poe 我交往最密的人。