Chapter 225 Chapter 225

In my vague dreams, I returned to the Australian warship we were transiting. I forgot what warship it was, and it didn't matter anymore.We were going to transfer to a chartered Boeing somewhere, I forgot where - because I couldn't remember anything else, I was standing next to Xiaoying. I just stood there. There is no expression. In front of me, the island country covered by tropical jungle is getting farther and farther away from me. No one talks to me, and no one wants to bother me. I watched the coastline of that island country recede away from me bit by bit. It is also getting farther and farther away from my little shadow.

It's getting farther and farther away. It's like we've never been there. However, Xiaoying is gone. She is not as lively as when she came. She lies beside me. I can't see her face either. Between us is a boundary between earth and heaven. Farther and farther away, farther and farther away. I watched the island nation get farther and farther away from me. I don't know what I was thinking. Now that I think about it - my UN medal - where did it go. I took out the medal box and held it in my hand. Far away, far away. I threw it into the boundless sea. —I will never see this medal again in my life, never.

Far away, far away into the sea. In an instant it was swallowed by the sea. Without even a moment of hesitation, it disappeared. Like the life of a soldier. Just disappeared. Disappeared. I am standing next to my Xiaoying, I am still wearing a camouflage uniform and a blue beret, but I have no rifle in my hand and no pistol stabs on my body - these have long been ordered by the dog head high school team to confiscate them, not because I am afraid that I will go out Even if I make trouble and kill people, I won't do that. You all know that you can't let me have anything to do with weapons.

Because, I will kill myself. Every day there is a brother who looks at me and dare not speak to me, and of course I will not speak to him—what can I say?I do not know what to say. After that day, I never left Xiaoying, and I didn't eat anything. I just drank some porridge, which Xiaofei cried and begged me to eat.I don't want them to worry about me anymore, that's all I can do. A few days later—I can’t remember exactly how many days, because I really don’t want to recall—I received an order to escort Xiaoying back to China, and of course I don’t have to come again.Xiaofei is also on the warship, and she was also assigned to escort Xiaoying back to China—actually, I now know that the cadres are afraid that something will happen to me, and they all know that Xiaofei has the best relationship with Xiaoying. The mentality, even with a cadre at the level of a brigade standing committee, dare not work at critical times.

There are still cadres, but I can't remember who they are. My mind was in turmoil. I just looked at the sea silently, watching the island country disappear from my sight bit by bit. Who else knows, we've been to this place before? Who else knows that Xiaoying fell in this place? I don't know anyone who knows. Just looking at it like that, my mind went blank, and I didn't think about anything. There are no tears, I have cried a long time ago. Xiao Fei came over without saying anything. I look at her, and I still look at the sea. She put her hand on my hand holding the railing. The hand was cold, and the sea breeze was strong, but there was warmth in the palm, which was transmitted to the back of my hand.

We haven't said anything, what can we say? After a long time, Xiaofei said: "Anyway, don't go to see Xiaoying so easily—you haven't done anything yet, you can't see her like this, she will be sad—in fact, she has always been among our female soldiers. Say, you're a man capable of great things, but not grown up.—don't let her down, will you?" I didn't speak. "If you really want to see her, none of us can stop you." Xiaofei said, "Just think about how to meet Xiaoying, so that she will be happy." I close my eyes as the sea breeze blows on my numb face.

The door of the Boeing chartered plane opened slowly, but I couldn't hear anything. I know there are low military music. But I can't really hear it. I carried Xiaoying, and our brothers carried Xiaoying. She fell asleep quietly in that wooden box.