Chapter 105 Chapter 105

Now that I recall it, I can see it, indeed I can see it, as if there is such a thin and small private soldier crawling there in front of me.My whole body is muddy and I have no personal appearance, but I am still climbing, absolutely refusing to give up! Because, he knew that he was a soldier, a Chinese soldier. Soldiers, on the other hand, cannot give up. No matter what you face. Even if it is death. I really know now what it means to be afraid.There are two reasons why I lay on the sofa for nearly an hour: first, the place where the butt was worn out began to hurt again, and according to my experience, it was a callus; Let me go through that swamp again now, and I'll punch you down first.

Was it human? ! Even an animal dare not go through it—even Lord Dog’s wisdom knows that he can’t go inside, and he is yelling poorly on the side! But that's what happened when I was 18. It's really gone. What kind of spirit is his grandma! In addition to being tired or tired, in the end it was not the strength that supported me to climb forward, but the spirit.It's the spirit, that is, as long as there is half a breath left, you must move forward, you can't just die like this! ——I want to say again that I think of Xiaoying, you may think it is very repetitive and you don’t like to listen to it, but I tell you that if there is no Xiaoying, I will not be here today. I can still sit here and tell you nonsense about my idea back then!Later, I exchanged this bullshit experience with a famous war reporter. He would not have passed through any swamp, but in the Middle East, he drove through the landmines everywhere and there were no explosions, but he didn’t know when he would come. The desert with all kinds of shells and aerial bombs was also frightening. I asked him what he was thinking at that time?Reporter's responsibility?mission?obligation?or fame?His name is known everywhere like today? — Shit, he told me honestly, he only wanted a girl in his heart.He didn't tell me who he was, and I didn't ask. After all, senior is so much older than me. Even if he is a brother, I can't ask about such things. Besides, I knew that he would definitely not succeed in the end. It's not good to ask, just him. It is hard to guarantee that a girl who is worried about her age is not only a wife but also a mother of a child.

I have the same experience as him, that is, you just want a girl in adversity. And this girl must be the one you didn't get. ——This kind of success is not about feelings. I want to make it clear that I seem to be sorry for my female readers.I think you will understand what I mean if I don't say it, so I won't say it-anyway, you didn't succeed. What else do you miss after you get it? So, the girl you can't get is always the best and you will always miss it. ——I actually understood this truth when I was 18 years old, but I just don’t know how to sum it up. In my special warfare career, in the end it was Xiaoying who supported me, nothing else.

Are special forces not human?Even if you die, you still have to think about the mission, responsibility and obligation of soldiers? Shit. All fighters, when they are the hardest and most difficult, they will definitely think about their relatives who are very important to them, and of course more of them are girls. I am not afraid of my mother being sad when I say this, it is the truth and nothing else.It's normal for a child to miss girls when he grows up. It's not normal for me to miss my mother when I'm 18 and can't stand it anymore. ——Leave this topic to psychologists for analysis, and I will only talk about my novels and stories.

At that time, I was so thinking about Xiaoying and thinking about her white skirt spinning in the red leaves all over the sky. Still thinking about her last kiss. Also, the tears we shed together. I know she is waiting for me. Waiting for me hard. So I can't stop and let myself sink in—I'll tell you one experience, that is, if you get into a swamp, of course, the chance is very small, but I still tell you, just don't stop, you will sink as soon as you stop. Can only keep moving forward!I won't explain the physical principles of this, but the physics knowledge I learned in junior high school really worked.

I won't stop, no matter how tired I am, I can't stop. After a while, it starts with a low posture crawling with both hands and feet.Half of his body and chin are in the mud, but he just crawls and crawls like a toad. Then it didn't work. I started with two hands, moving forward alternately and dragging my body forward——I was very light at that time, and I was just over 100 kg at 178 cm. There are 5 100s, and there are 100 pull-ups in it, plus the training of rock climbing and other subjects, the strength of the arms is not proportional to my age; now it can’t be done, it’s completely useless, let’s not talk about fat pigs , the muscles of the arms have atrophied, if you used to exercise a lot and then stop for many years, it is also the same thing), so I still persisted for a while.

But then it didn't work anymore, and my arm lost strength. Then switch legs. The two legs push forward, and of course the arms barely move forward alternately, which cannot constitute resistance. Crawling in the swamp is really not worth describing.This is the experience, and then there is the clay figurine, the absolute clay figurine, half of the body and half of the face are in the mud, and the neck feels cramped because of the constant lifting, but still dare not lower it—do you dare to lower it?At first the mouth was still outside, but gradually the mouth could no longer be exposed, leaving only the nose, and I can clearly recall the small vortexes of the thick breath exhaled by the nose in the mud of the swamp.Then the nose went in a few times, but I got up quickly—it had nothing to do with strength, it was completely the function of the subconscious mind, that is, I could not die or fall down.

——Xiaoying! I saw her wearing the white skirt I gave her, running and jumping on the swamp, flying like a dream but alive in front of me——I didn’t think of it, and now I feel that I absolutely saw it at that time. There was no mud on the white shoes she was jumping around in the swamp, just like jumping on the lawn: Black monkey Xiaozhuang, you just can't catch up with me! I suddenly had strength and continued to climb. Strength is limited, but your spirit is unlimited. I am not talking about idealistic thoughts, but this is my personal experience. Love is the most unstable emotion in the world—but it is the strongest spiritual strength of a boy.

As long as you have had love and youth, you will not be without this experience. Love is all that you hold on to in the face of adversity. Everything else I can tell you is bullshit! I am like this, and I am like this now, why I closed one red and swollen eye, endured the pain and insisted on writing this Lao Shizi novel for you.