Chapter 65 happiness and morality

As I mentioned just now, a person's happiness largely comes from other people's views on you, especially in China. China is not only a particularly moralized society, but also a particularly dramatic crowd. The so-called dramatization means that there is a set of procedures in the relationship between people every day. You have to play each role well. If you meet the procedures, everyone will give you positive comments, and if you don’t follow the procedures, you will not give positive comments. China is a society of acquaintances, and all behavior patterns of Chinese people are within the scope of ethics, and there are prescribed living forms, such as villages and cities; the biggest constraint in a society of acquaintances is ethical constraints, not legal constraints.In the first few years when I started doing business, I slept on the floor, and many people came in and looked at me and said: Why is it so difficult, do you need help?

But then there will be an evaluation: the party has trained you for so many years, you don’t do scientific research, you become self-employed!This is a moral evaluation, reminiscent of the image of neglecting studies and running around outside with bags.At that time, I was very disturbed when I heard this comment. Although I knew that my choice was right, after all, when I walked into the compound of the Central Party School every night, when others were holding books and engaged in so-called scientific research, sitting in the aisle and eating in the canteen When sending out fish and meat, I would feel the pressure brought by strange eyes when I fumbled in from the dark outside.

Recently, we went to Harvard for advanced studies and took 5 days of classes. Our class is called Chinese business leaders or something, and there is a state-owned enterprise class next to it.After chatting together, someone in the state-owned enterprise class said: Isn’t it self-employed and has become a leader?Although we entrepreneurs of the Federation of Industry and Commerce are very strong-minded and don't care what others say, we do know that the society has a fixed view of us and has a contemptuous attitude towards private enterprises and private enterprises.But in fact, people with particularly strong self-behavior ability are used to judging the world, tailoring the world, conquering the world, and transforming the world with their own eyes. He is very interesting in the process of doing this. He hopes to change the moral direction of this society, and is willing to impose a new moral concept on others, just like some political strongmen in modern history.

When their own behavior is inconsistent with the moral evaluation of the society, most people will doubt themselves, hesitate, blame themselves, change, and fall into pain.The problem of young people's puppy love is often heard. The teacher just heard some rumors and called the students to talk.Maybe this matter didn't exist before, but everyone was talking about it. The boy couldn't help it, so he talked to the girl.This girl seeks warmth from this boy, and finally falls in love, or one of them committed suicide because she couldn’t resist the pressure, and the other was in great pain.

The most difficult thing is a society in transition, and the concept of right and wrong is also changing.Now we have at least three or four sets of moral concepts around us, Western values, traditional Chinese moral concepts, Mao Zedong Thought, and communist education.These sets of moral concepts make you sometimes at a loss.But social transformation also brings a benefit, because people live more and more scattered, such as buying a new house, no one knows anyone, and your behavior at this time is not seen or discussed by others.The only constraint on morality is the pressure of public opinion among acquaintances. When you feel unhappy, a very important solution is to enter the society of strangers. Everyone is bound by law instead of moral constraints. At this time, there will be less anxiety.If I were still living in the compound of the Central Party School, I would have a lot of pressure; now I live in a new community, there is no right and wrong, and the pressure is very small.If you go abroad, you will have no acquaintances, and there will be no pressure.

In the current transitional society, on the one hand, you are at a loss, on the other hand, you can do everything, or you can do nothing.For example, according to traditional concepts, if you have moral pressure, you will use Western moral concepts to balance it; if traditional ideology puts pressure on you, you use your current openness to support yourself.Our current society has several characteristics: the roles change very quickly, the social transformation is particularly sharp, the standards of right and wrong are very diverse, and people's choices are also very diverse.So if you can't adjust, it will be very painful.A person's greatest sense of happiness and satisfaction comes from a high degree of integration of self-identification and moral identification.For example, I do business outside. I think this is called entrepreneurship, and the whole society thinks it is called entrepreneurship. This kind of satisfaction is very good.The fact is also like this. From the time I started doing business, to the time when the whole society regarded entrepreneurship as a positive morality for more than ten years, I was respected only when I returned to my original unit. I was no longer called a self-employed person, no longer I was criticized for not doing my studies.Satisfaction is great when personal behavior identification and efforts are consistent with moral evaluation.All successful people are always burdened with moral pressure at the beginning. Most entrepreneurs spend their whole lives in the eyes of others who do not understand and doubt, and their happiness level will be lower than outsiders imagined.So greatness is also a kind of loneliness. This kind of loneliness is not because no one pays attention to him, but because other people's evaluation is inconsistent with self-evaluation.