Chapter 19 Chapter Nineteen

During my Saturday clinic, I printed out Nick's e-mail for Susan to see.When she finished, I said, "It's crazy. He reversed the order, right and wrong, black and white, it's like Alice in Wonderland." The ten-page email was filled with accusations and lies.After reading it, I felt filthy and sick, and even more furious.Nick twisted our entire marriage, he was the victim and I was the villain.According to Nick, my wife was disingenuous, unfaithful, and neurotic. He tried to appease me, but my emotions and irritability could not be quelled.Because I repeatedly trampled on his sincere efforts to save the marriage, he finally couldn't bear it before he hit me hard.

"I'm so pissed," I went on angrily, "especially when he writes in such detail, as if it's real . Letter to me? Did he think I would be fooled? " Susan frowned. "Pathological lying is a common tactic of narcissistic personality disorder patients who don't care about the facts and just want what they want, which is attention and satisfaction. Basically, Nick is trying to elicit a reaction from you, any reaction is fine." "That is to say, my love or hate can satisfy him?" "That's right. Attention is attention, and indifference is the only thing Nick can't stand. That would create what's called 'narcissistic trauma.'...Unfortunately, this email sends a strong message of that."

These words made me very uncomfortable. "What if Nick actually had a narcissistic trauma?" "He may frighten you in some way, and that's gratifying to him. If you refuse to respond, it could be more serious." "Oh, really. Meaning, he calls more and visits more often?" "Hopefully not, but very likely. When his anger rises to a certain level, he may want to punish you." As I digested these events, there was silence in Susan's small consulting room.This is so unfair.I thought a divorce would be enough to get rid of Nick.Why is he doing this to me?Why insist that I play a supporting role in his life?

"What can I do to get rid of him?" "There's no easy way. If I were me, I would definitely have a record of this email and all correspondence. Whatever he does, try to avoid contact. No gifts, no letters or emails, if he sends someone to find him You, refuse to talk about him." Susan frowned and looked down at the email. "When a narcissistic personality disorder gets frustrated with something or someone, he won't let it go until he gets some outlet or feels like he's won." "But we're divorced," I protested. "There's nothing to win!"

"Of course. He's going to try to restore his image. Losing his image of being aloof and kingly in everything, Nick is nothing." Susan's counseling did not improve my mood.I feel restless and angry and need reassurance.Because Handy still refuses to answer his phone, he's my number one jerk. When my phone finally rang on Sunday, I excitedly checked the caller ID.Seeing that it was my father calling, all hopes were instantly shattered.I sighed and said angrily, "Hello?" "Haifen." Dad's voice was hoarse, and his triumphant tone gave me a bad feeling. "Come here quickly, I have something to tell you."

"Okay. When?" "Now." I really wanted to say that I was busy, but I couldn't make up a good excuse at the moment.Anyway, I'm bored and depressed, so it shouldn't be a problem to see him. "No problem, Dad," I said. "I'll be there right away." I drove to River Oaks and Dad was in the bedroom, which was as spacious as a small apartment.He was in the living area, sitting leisurely in the massage chair, pressing the buttons on the control panel. "Want to try?" Dad patted the armrest and suggested. "Fifteen different modes. Can analyze the back muscles and make recommendations, as well as knead and stretch the calf muscles."

"No, thanks. I don't like the furniture being messy with me." I smiled at him and sat down in an ordinary chair nearby. "How are you doing, Dad? What do you want to say to me?" It took him a long time to answer, and he set up the massage program in his spare time.The chair activates and adjusts the seat. "Conhandy," he said. I shake my head. "No. I don't want to talk to you about him. Whatever you want to know, I don't—" "I'm not asking you, Haffin. I'm giving you news about him. You need to know." I instinctively wanted to leave immediately.I knew my father was spying on everyone, digging up Handy's messy past, and he had no qualms about it.I don't want and don't want to hear what Handy isn't ready to tell.Besides, I kind of figured out what Dad was going to say: Handy's father had been a criminal, jailed, and previously arrested for DUI.So I decided to stay and listen to my dad, and then teach him not to go too far.

The room was very quiet, only the sound of machine transmission and rollers running.I squeezed out a cold smile. "Okay, you say." "I warned you he wasn't a good guy," Dad said. "I was right. He sold you, baby. You'd better forget about him fast and go find someone else. Find someone who is nice to you. " "Sold me?" I looked at him puzzled. "What's the meaning?" "On Friday night, Bao Dijie saw you with Kang Handi. He found out that you were dating that kind of scoundrel, so he called to ask my opinion, and I told him honestly."

"Why are you two so nosy?" I said angrily. "God, you have a lot of time and money, can't you find something meaningful to do and have to criticize my love life?" "Dijie thought of a good idea to expose his true colors... Let you see how bad the people around you are. He told his plan, and I agreed. So yesterday Dijie called Kang Handi—" "Oh my God," I whispered. "—offer him a deal. He agrees to sign Conhandy's pre-existing lease and give up the bonus altogether. But he has to promise to break up with you forever and never date or have anything to do again."

"Then Handy told DeJie to die," I said. My father gave me a sympathetic look. "No. Conhandy accepted." He leaned back in the massage chair and I tried to make sense of it all. I have goosebumps all over my body, as if a bug is crawling.My mind refused to accept that there was no way Handy would agree to such a condition.We just spent such a wonderful night together.I know he has feelings for me.I know he needs me.It doesn't make sense at all, how could Handy abandon all this?He will be able to settle this lease sooner or later, there is no need to do so. What was Handy thinking?I was determined to find out.But first...

"You control freak old bastard," I said. "Why do you have to interfere in my private life?" "because I love you." "Love should respect each other's ideas and boundaries! I'm not a child, I... No, I'm not even as good as a child in your eyes, you treat me like a dog on a chain, at your mercy—" "I didn't think of you as a dog," Dad interrupted angrily. "Calm down and—" "I don't want to be calm! I have every right to be angry. Tell me, if you were Gage, Jack or Joey, would you play this kind of trick?" "They're sons, they're men. You're a girl, and you've had one failed marriage and you're about to fall into another." "Dad, unless you treat me like a human being, this father-daughter relationship is over. I've had enough." I stood up and slung my purse over my shoulder. "I'm kind enough to help you," Dad said angrily. "I proved that Conhandy is not good enough for you. Everyone knows it, and he knows it well. If you weren't so stubborn, you would definitely admit it." "If he really agrees to Dijie's conditions," I said, "then he really isn't good enough for me. But you're no better off to make such a bad move." "You want to anger the person who sent the message?" "Yes, Dad, especially the guy who sent the word is always meddling in my business." I walked towards the door. "Oh," I heard my father mutter. "At least you and Kandy broke up." I turned and glared at him. "I haven't broken up with him yet. I won't be dumped so easily. I want to find out the reason, the real reason, not the ridiculous business you and Dijie made up." I have no one to confide in.Everyone told me that sooner or later Conhandy would use me, even Todd.I can't even call Lipper because he's done similar behavior to her before and she won't think it's out of character for him.I feel super self-deprecating, and I still love him. Part of me just wants to curl up and cry, and part of me is going to explode in rage.Another part is busy analyzing the situation and trying to find a solution.I decided to calm down and wait for the opportunity to confront Handy.I'm going to call him after get off work tomorrow to clear everything up.If he wants to cut everything between us, I can take it.But at least it can't be conveyed by a third party, especially those two control freak old men. When I walked into the office at eight o'clock on a Monday morning, the mood was uncharacteristically gloomy.Colleagues are all busy and busy, not chatting about the big and small things of the weekend like usual.There is no gossip in the tea room, and there are few friendly greetings. When I was about to take a lunch break, I went to find Mansha at her place, and asked if she wanted to buy sandwiches together. Mansha, who is usually lively, is now sitting in her seat with her head downcast.Her father passed away two weeks ago, and I knew it would take her a while to get her spirits together. "Would you like to have lunch together?" I asked softly. "I treat you." She smiled at me dejectedly and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not hungry, thank you." "At least let me buy you a yogurt or—" I pause as tears well from the corners of her eyes. "Oh, Mantha..." I went around to her seat and hugged her. "Sorry. Didn't have a good day, did you? Did you miss your dad?" She nodded, frantically looking for tissues in the drawer. "Part of it." She sniffled. "In addition..." Her slender hands pushed a piece of paper in front of me from the other side of the desk. "What is this? Payroll?" I frowned suspiciously. "Any questions?" "My weekly salary is directly deposited into the account on Friday. When I checked the balance last week, it was much lower than I expected. Today I logged into the company computer to check." She forced a smile, and tears welled up again. "At my dad's funeral, the company sent a big flower basket with everyone's names on the cards. You know that?" "I know." What she said next almost made me unable to listen. "Well, that flower basket costs two hundred dollars, and Fanny deducts it from my salary." "Oh my God." "I don't understand why she does such a thing," Mantha went on. "Maybe I accidentally pissed her off. I guess it's because I took too much time off after my father passed away... Then she treated me strangely and coldly." "You took those few days off to attend your father's funeral, Mantha. No sane person would blame you for that." "I know." She sighed tremblingly. "Fanny has been under a lot of stress lately. She said I took time off at the worst possible time. She seemed disappointed in me." The anger in my heart is about to explode.I want to run around the office like Godzilla and crush Fanny's desk.I can stand Fanny bullying and belittling me.Mansha's father had just passed away, and she treated her like this... It's too much! "Don't tell her I'm complaining," Mantha whispered. "I can't take more trouble now." "You won't be in trouble. Mansha, the two hundred yuan deducted must be a mistake, and it will be remitted to your account immediately." She glanced at me hesitantly. "Just a mistake," I repeated, pulling out a clean tissue to wipe her tears. "The money for the flower basket is paid by the company, not by you. Leave this matter to me, okay?" "Okay." She forced a smile. "Thank you, Hafen." The internal line on my desk rang.Because the office adopts an open partition, what Fanny said through the internal line can be heard throughout the office. "Haifen, please come to my office." "No problem," I whispered, leaving Mantha's seat and heading for Fanny's office.I deliberately slowed down, tried to calm down, and prepared to contradict my boss.I knew that I might be fired because of this, and I would not be able to escape her peerless smearing efforts in the future.But it doesn't matter.You can find another job.What is a damaged reputation compared to fighting tyranny? When I entered Fanny's office, she dialed another internal number. "Hafen, please come to me—" "Here I am," I walked directly to her desk.I didn't sit down, I just stood facing her. Fanny's eyes were full of contempt, as if I were an ant crawling on the wall. "Please wait outside the door for me to call you in," she said coldly. "Haven't I said it several times, why can't you remember, Haifen?" "I want to put the rules aside for a moment. I have a very important issue. There is an error on the payroll and it needs to be dealt with asap." Fanny was not used to having other people call the shots. "I don't have time for that, Haffin. I didn't call you in for the payroll." "Don't you want to know what's wrong?" I waited.She obviously wasn't going to answer, so I shook my head slowly. "Because you already knew. That's not a mistake, is it?" She showed a strange and terrifying smile. "Okay, Hafen. I'll follow you just once. What's going on?" "The company sent the flower basket for Mansha's father's funeral, and Mansha's salary was deducted." I waited to see her reaction.Wide-eyed, ashamed, or frowning, whatever.But Fanny showed no emotion, like a dummy in a department store. "Should I pay her back the money?" Time passes in painful silence.Silence is Fanny's most powerful weapon. She will keep staring at me until I can't take it anymore and collapse like a building block tower, and then I can say something casually to relieve the difficult silence. But I stared at her.The silence was so long it seemed absurd, but I tried to hold on until she couldn't stand it. "You're over fishing," she warned me. "How I manage my staff is none of your business, Hafen." "So, deducting money from Mansha's salary is also a management technique?" "You'd better leave my office right away. In fact, you'd better take a day off. I'm sick of you and your wayward attitude." "If you won't wire the money into Mantha's account," I said, "I'm going to talk to Jack." She finally reacted, her face darkened and her eyes showed a fierce look. "You spoiled bitch," her voice was sharp. "Nick told me everything about you...you are selfish and exploitative. You lie and play tricks to get your way, lazy, deceitful and complaining parasite—" "Yeah, that's how I look to Nick." I wondered if she might actually be dating my ex-husband.Jesus, what's a date between two narcissists? "But we're not talking about it, are we? Do you want to pay the money back, or do you want me to go to Jack?" "If you dare to say a word to him, I will reveal all your evil appearances. When I expose your true colors, he will hate you just like me and tell you to get out—" "Fanny," I said quietly, "he's my brother. Do you really have the arrogance to think you can make him hate me? Do you think he'll abandon me for your side? Jack is devoted to his family. You can slander me as much as you can, but it won't work against him." Her face was red and white for a while, and the red spots caused by anger floated on her face, like oil stains on the water, but she managed to control her tone. "Get out of my office, Hafen. No need to come back, you're fired." Although my heart was beating wildly, I was still calm on the surface. "I expected this. Good-bye, Fanny." I went back to my desk to get my purse, and walked outside the seat compartment, unexpectedly, Mansha, Ruobai, and Qinmi were all there, all expressionless.If it weren't for my confusion, I would definitely notice that their appearance is not right. "What's wrong?" I asked as I walked into the cubicle and stopped for a moment because Jack was sitting in my seat.He looked at the intercom, his face flushed, and his mouth tightened. "Hey, Jack," I said confused. "What are you doing here?" He answered slowly. "I'll take you to dinner." Qin Mi came over and touched my arm. "The line is open," she whispered. I rushed into the office suddenly, and Fanny probably forgot to turn off the internal line.Jack and the others could hear it perfectly. Jack picked up my purse and handed it to me. "Come with me," he said grimly. I followed him, pale as I realized he was going to Fanny's office. Jack opened the door without knocking, and stood there glaring at her. My boss looked dazed. "Jack," she said in astonishment, and then gave him a benign smile, so steady and polite, that it changed so quickly that I couldn't help but wonder. "Nice to meet you, please come in." Brother Zhuang shook his head, his black eyes were cold, and he said this sentence in an irreversible tone: "Pack up your things." I was with Jack all that afternoon, explaining how Fanny had bullied and put me down, and was going to do the same to Mantha.After I finished speaking, Jack finally stopped shaking his head and cursing, just looked disgusted. "God, Haifen...why didn't you tell me earlier?" "I don't want Missy's temper. I want to think about the company. I know how much she has done for you before." "Go to his company," he said. "People are more important than careers. I don't care how good her management skills are. She shouldn't be tyrannical in secret." "At first I was hoping that over time Fanny would change, or that we could at least work out a way to tolerate each other. But I found that the situation was never going to improve, and there was no room for coordination. She's as vicious a narcissist as Nick .She doesn't feel sorry for hurting someone, just like you and I trampled an ant to death." Jack pursed his lips into a serious line. "There are a lot of people like this in the business field. Although I don't want to admit it, such ambitious, cruel and selfish people can often get ahead in the company, but they can't play wild in my company." "Are you really going to fire her?" He nodded immediately. "She's been fired. I'm going to replace her." He paused meaningfully. "Any suggestions?" "I can do it," I said confidently. "I'm not necessarily going to be perfect. I'm going to make mistakes, but I'm sure I can take responsibility." Zhuang Ge showed a hearty smile. "Your attitude is very different from when you first started." I responded with a bitter smile. "I've been learning a lot lately." We continued to discuss office matters for a while, and then the conversation turned to personal matters.I couldn't help but tell about Jack and Dad's conflict, and the terms of Jack's lease with Handy. I was very pleased with Jack's outrage over the incident, calling them all assholes.He also agreed that I had to find out the reason behind Handy's behavior, because there was no reason at all. "Dicky's land is great," he said, "but he's not the only one. Your little Handy can buy it from whomever he wants. He might want to sign it, but he doesn't have to." No. I guess Conhandy is just trying to break up with you. He did this on purpose and knew it would force you to leave." "Hot and cold stinking man," I said. "If he wants to break up, he has to tell me in person." Jack grinned. "I almost sympathize with that guy. Well, you're in charge of Johnny Conhandy, and I'll talk it out with Dad." "No," I said reflexively, "don't go to Dad. You can't fix my relationship with him." "I can be a firewall, or intervene a little bit." "Thanks, Jack, but I don't need a firewall, and I don't need more intervention." He looked irritated. "Hey, since you don't want my help, why waste your time complaining to me?" "I don't want you to solve my problems, I just need you to listen to me." "That's right, Haifen, if you just want to complain, talk to a girl. Men don't like it when they throw a problem and don't allow us to help. It makes us feel useless. In order to resolve it, I had to tear up the phone book Cut it in half, or blow it up. I figured it out, I'm not a good person to complain about, I'm a man." "You obviously are." I stood up and smiled. "Would you like to buy me a drink at the Salary Bar?" "That's right," my brother said, and we left the office together. It was dark when I got home.A glass of wine and Jack's easy-going company put me in a much better mood.I'm surprised he didn't condemn Handy, he was so tough before. "I'm neither for nor against," Jack told me, sipping a beer from a glass bottle. "He's negotiating a deal with Dijie, and I'm of two minds: Handy may have made a mistake for the wrong reason..." Another gulp. "Or being wrong for the right reasons." "How can there be a right reason for making a mistake?" "Well, I don't know. I just think he should be given a chance to explain." "Todd said Handy was tricky and weird," I said ruefully. Jack laughed for some reason. "Heh, as a member of the Cui family, you should be used to it by now? Besides Gage, which one of our family is not eccentric? Todd is the same." "Why do you say it so horrible," I said, but I couldn't help smiling sympathetically. I went home with a smile on my face, but I was still agitated at the thought of going to Handy.I saw the light of the tape recorder flashing, and my heart jumped for joy.I went to the tape recorder and pressed play. Handy's voice said, "I need to see you. Please call me when you get home tonight." "Okay," I whispered and closed my eyes but opened them again as I saw something strange.There's something shiny next to the base of the phone.I picked it up in confusion, but I didn't expect it to be a bracelet, Aunt Kaiqian's bracelet.How come here?It should be in Nick's hands.Nick—— A person suddenly appeared behind me, and before I could make a sound, my throat was already strangled.The barrel of the gun was cold and hard against my head.Before the other party spoke, I guessed who it was. "Got you, Mary."