Chapter 18 Chapter Eighteen

I asked the concierge to call me when he saw Handy come back. "It doesn't matter how late it is," I told him.Even if he was surprised or wondered why he didn't wait for Handy to call me, he didn't say much. I listened to the messages on the phone, and there were only two calls that hung up without leaving a message. The number was from Dallas.Eighty percent is Nick.I lost touch with everyone else I knew in Dallas, and I didn't keep in touch with the hotel colleagues, let alone the people Nick knew who thought my name was Mary.Nick was furious because I ignored him and had no intention of getting Aunt Kaiqian's bracelet back.He was also mad at me for moving on in life.I hope that the corresponding disregard will make him give up.If he insists on contacting me, I will be forced to find a solution.Maybe it's time to apply for a protective order?

But I'm reminded of Handy's biting critique..."A protective order doesn't work unless you're handcuffed to the police." I thought about what Handy was doing right now, what exactly was he dealing with.I almost couldn't resist calling him, but since he had such a difficult problem, it should be very undesirable for the phone to ring.After soaking in the bath for a long time, I changed into sweatpants and a loose top, and tried to watch TV.I probably tuned a hundred cable channels, but nothing to watch. I couldn't sleep well, and woke up when there was a little noise.Finally the call finally came, and as soon as the piercing ring rang, I immediately grabbed the phone and pressed the button to talk. "Hey?"

"Miss Cui. Mr. Kang has just passed the lobby and is now in the elevator." "That's great. Thank you." I glanced at the clock. It was one thirty in the morning. "Uh, is he looking all right? Did he say anything?" "No, Miss Cui, he didn't speak. He looks a little...tired." "Okay, thank you." "You're welcome." After I hung up, I put the phone on my lap and urged it to ring with willpower, but the damn thing just wouldn't ring.I waited until Handy was sure he was in the house, and called his home number, only to be put into the tape recorder.

I lay on the sofa, staring at the ceiling impetuously.I couldn't stand it anymore, so I called Handy's cell phone. Voicemail again. What is going on?Is he all right? "Leave him alone," I said aloud. "Go to bed and let him rest quietly. He'll call tomorrow when he wants to talk." But I was too worried about Handy to listen to myself. I walked around the house and waited another fifteen minutes before calling again. Did not answer. "Damn it," I muttered, rubbing my eyes with half-clenched fists.I was tense, tired and restless.I can't sleep unless I'm sure Handy is safe.

Just go knock on his door.Maybe a hug.Maybe cuddling with each other in bed.I will not force him to speak, nor will I pressure him.I just want him to know that I am always there when he needs it. I put on my slippers, went out and took the elevator to the eighteenth floor.The atmosphere in the corridors is elegant and clean, but cold.Trembling, I went to the door and rang the bell. There was no movement, no sound.Then there was a rustling inside.I waited and waited, unable to believe that Handy wasn't going to answer the door.I scowled.Well, since the situation is so bad, I have to stand at his door all night and ring the bell if necessary.

I press it again. I suddenly had a terrible thought that perhaps Handy was with someone else.Otherwise why would he refuse to see me?But I can't convince myself— The door opened. Handy in front of me is like I have never seen before.His house was almost completely dark, only a dim light in the living room, and the light from the tall buildings came in through the floor-to-ceiling windows.Handy was wearing a white top and jeans and was barefoot.He looked huge, sinister, and sinister.I smell the sour-sweet taste of cheap tequila, the drink reserved for people looking for a quick fix. I've seen Handy drink, but he's in moderation.He said he didn't like the feeling of being out of control.Although he didn't say it, I understood that he couldn't bear to be physically or emotionally weak.

My gaze shifted from his dark face to the wine glass in his hand.There is a hairy feeling in the shoulder. "Hey," I finally opened my mouth, my voice was panting. "I want to make sure you're safe and sound." "I'm fine." He looked like he didn't recognize me. "It's not convenient to talk now." He was about to close the door, but I blocked the door.I dare not leave him alone, I don't like his empty and strange eyes. "I'll get you something to eat. Eggs, toast—" "Haifen." He seemed to have to concentrate all his thoughts before he could speak. "I don't need food, and I don't need company."

"Can't you tell me what's wrong?" I reached out and stroked his arm without thinking, and he pulled back, as if my touch repelled him.I am stunned.Is it retribution?I've done this to too many people, throwing my hands away reflexively in shock, never thinking about how the other person feels. "Handy," I said softly. "I'll go, I promise. But first you need to tell me what happened, just a few words, I can understand." I felt anger bubbling off of him.It was too dark for me to see the color of his eyes, but they were almost malevolent.I wondered anxiously, where did the real Handy go?He seems to have been replaced by the evil student brother. "I don't know what the hell you can understand," he said gruffly. "I don't even understand it myself."

"Handy, let me in," I said. He continued to stop me. "You don't want to go in." "Oh?" I forced a teasing smile. "Is there anything scary in there?" "I." His answer made me shudder, but I didn't move. "What did you do tonight?" I asked. "Why did your mother call you?" Handy stood with his head bowed, his hair disheveled, as if he had scratched and scratched him.I want to smooth the glossy black hair and wrap my arms around his strong neck.I long to comfort him.But all I can do is wait, and it is rare for me to be impatient.

"She wants me to get my dad out of prison," I heard him say. "He got arrested for DUI tonight. He knows he shouldn't be bothering her on the phone. I've been paying him for two years just to keep him out of Mom and brother." "Isn't he serving his sentence? I guess...he's out?" Handy nodded, still not looking at me.He grabbed the door frame with his empty hand, looking at his strong and powerful fingers, my stomach suddenly turned a little bit. "What did he do?" I asked softly. "Why were you sentenced?" I'm not sure Handy will answer.But he said it.Sometimes even the deepest secrets can be unearthed just by asking the right questions at the right time.

Handy whispered, in a flat, despairing tone as if a criminal were confessing.I know these things he never said to anyone. "Fifteen years ago, he was convicted of multiple rapes. He was a serial rapist... He did unbearable things to women... Authorities knew he was a diehard, so parole was banned. But the sentence is over , had to let him out. He's going to do it again, and I can't stop it. I can't watch him every minute of the day. I can barely keep him from harassing my family—" "No," I said hoarsely, "it's not your duty to guard him." "—my brother followed in his footsteps. Inherited bad habits. I just went to bail Kevin last month and paid the woman's family to spare him and not press charges—" "That's not your fault," I said, but he wouldn't listen. "We're all the offspring of bad guys, useless trash scum—" "No." Every breath he took was heavy and clear. "I took Dad to the hotel tonight, and as we were leaving he said—" He stopped, shaking from head to toe, swaying. God, he was drunk. "What did he say?" I whispered. "What did he say, Handy?" Handy shook his head and backed away. "Haifen." His voice was low and vague. "Get out. If you don't go...I can't control it. I will bully you and hurt you, understand? Get out!" I don't think Handy is capable of hurting me or any woman.But actually, I'm not sure either.At that moment, he was like a huge wounded beast, ready to tear anyone who tried to get close.I just divorced Nick not long ago, and I'm in a state of shock.I'm still dealing with my own anger and fear. But there are moments in life where you just have to move forward or lose your chance forever.If Handy was up to it, it would be good to find out now. All the veins in my body were ignited by adrenaline, so I was a little dizzy.Come on, goddamn thing, I'm decisive, angry and loving.Pure and fiery love, when he needs it most and when he doesn't want it the most.Let's see what you can do. I went into the dark and closed the door. As soon as the lock was snapped, Handy had come over.I heard the sound of the wine glass being thrown on the ground.I was caught and turned around, and the heavy-breathing two-hundred-pound man pinned me against the door.He was shaking, clutching too tightly, breathing hard.He kissed me hard enough to bruise me, he opened his whole mouth and kissed me wantonly for several minutes, until the shaking stopped and his dimples rubbed against me.All his emotions, anger, sadness, self-loathing and needs, are vented in 100% pure desire. He tore off my T-shirt and threw it aside.When he took off his coat, I groped into the living room in the dark, not to escape him, but to find a place more comfortable than the door.I heard a possessive growl and was grabbed from behind. Handy pushed me onto the back of the couch, bending forward.He tugged down my sweatpants.I had goosebumps all over my body and felt panic pressing on my stomach like a brick of ice.It was too much like what Nick had done.Memories are about to strike again.But I gritted my teeth and stood firm, tensing all the muscles in my body. Handy stood behind me, and I felt hot skin brushing against my back.I couldn't figure it out, he was too excited to forget that I was afraid of this position, because that's how I was raped.Or he did it on purpose, to punish me, to make me hate him.One of his hands caressed my stiff back, and I heard his breathing change. "Come on, fuck you," I said hoarsely. "Hurry up." But Handy didn't move, just kept stroking my back.His palm slides up and down, then around my waist to my upper abdomen.He bent over me, cupping my breasts with his other hand.He kissed my shoulders, my back, he moaned and kissed me while spreading my fingers underneath.I can only gasp, my body relaxes and obeys.I imagined the star-shaped scars on his hands...the last time I went to bed, I planned to kiss every little scar.Thinking of this, I got wet and helplessly responded to his touch, breath and temperature, everything became very familiar. "Come on," I urged again, panting. He didn't seem to hear it, and focused on stroking the soft crease under his fingertips.His legs slipped between mine, pulling my legs apart. The last trace of fear dissolves.I pushed my hips back, feeling his solid length numbly.But he wouldn't give it to me, just dawdling with excruciating tenderness as I clawed at the velvet sofa impatiently with my fingernails, my breath turning into whimpers. Wrapping us in a dark cool embrace, he moved into the center.I sob, concentrating on where he's pushing, my muscles contracting in anticipation. He pushed forward, climaxing with deeply penetrating pleasure, he stayed still deep, his hands continued to caress my private parts.He pulled me to my knees and pressed me against his chest.I leaned back with my head on his shoulder.I was lifted up, moaning loudly with the rhythm of the body joining, the pleasure exploded, and a new wave of heat splashed and drowned me. Handy sat me on his lap to rest, his arms firmly locked on me. After my breathing eased, he carried me into the bedroom, his arms still too hard.All he wanted was domination.It felt primal and kind of scary, but at the same time I was unbelievably high, surprising even myself.I want to know why... I have to understand... but his hands are on my body, so I can't think.He knelt on the bed and reached under me to lift my butt off the mattress. He filled me in slow motion, reaching for the wet triangle between my legs.He held me up and up, pushing and playing with regularity, sending me into a new sensual vortex, peaking and relaxing, then surging again.When my pleasure was finally released, Handy laid me flat on the bed, my limbs splayed as he pushed hard inside me.I put my arms around him and his body trembled against me, I loved it so much. Panting for breath, he turned me over to my side, and I heard him call my name while breathing heavily.He held me for a long time, pressing my body with his hands from time to time, bringing me closer. I took a nap with my head in his arms, and when I awoke it was still dark.From the tense feeling in Handy's body, I knew he was awake too.His erection keeps bouncing, I stick it up and shake my body slowly, the body temperature rises.His mouth pressed against my neck and shoulders, kissing and tasting the delicate skin. I push his shoulders and he lays down cooperatively, letting me straddle him.I took his cock, adjusted the position and sank down.I heard his hissing through his teeth.He stabilized my hips with both hands and let me catch the rhythm.He was all mine... I knew it, I felt it the moment his manhood surrendered.I rode him, gave him pleasure, and every time I pushed down, he groaned and arched to meet him.His hands run along my thighs to find the center, thumbing me to orgasm, and he's free.He froze beneath me as the pleasure climbed.His hands clasped the back of my neck and he pulled me over to kiss him.I kissed hard, feeling a little flustered. "It's okay," I whispered in the silence of the bedroom when it was over, feeling the need to reassure him. "It's fine." It was almost noon when I woke up.He carefully pulled up the quilt to cover me, and picked up all the clothes that had been thrown around before and hung them neatly on the back of the chair.Sleepily I called to Handy, trying to get him back to bed.But silence answered me, and I realized that he had left me alone in his house. I turned over and lay on my stomach, many small sores and strains made me pull a bit.Thinking of last night, I smiled embarrassedly.It feels like one long dream, but the body confirms that it happened. I felt so light and happy that I almost burned with joy. Last night's passion was nothing like anything I've experienced before.Sex on another level... deeper and more intense, opened up my mind and body.Handy must have felt the same way, and probably ran away in fright. It dawned on me that Nick saw sex as a means of possession.I hate that I am not human in his eyes, let alone expect him to care about my thoughts or feelings.In other words, when Nick and I slept, it was really just another form of masturbation. Unlike Handy, even in the frenzy, he still made love to me, physically and mentally.Despite all reluctance, he still let go of his guard against me. I have long since stopped believing in soul mates or love at first sight.But I've come to believe that, if God cares, there will always be a few chances in life to meet the right person.Not because both are perfect, but because their flaws complement each other, making the two individuals one. Handy is not a good partner who can easily talk about feelings.He is complex, too strong-willed, and careless.But I love those qualities of him.I was willing to fully accept him for who he was, and he seemed to accept my strengths and weaknesses as well. I yawned and went into the bathroom, found Handy's bathrobe and put it on.In the kitchen, the coffee machine is already set, with a mug and clean spoon beside it.I flip the switch and the pleasant gurgle of brewing coffee fills the air. I picked up Handy's phone and dialed his cell phone. No one answered. I hang up the phone. "Cowardly," I said tepidly. "You can hide for a while, but you can't hide forever." But Handy avoided me all Saturday.Although I really want to talk to him, my self-esteem forbids me to run after him. I am not a Texas lizard. A dizzy female lizard will cling to the male she likes and cling to him desperately.A little patience with Handy shouldn't have hurt, so I just left a couple of bland messages on his tape recorder, determined to wait for him to show up. Meanwhile, I get an email from Nick.