Chapter 20 bankruptcy of the trust
"The trust is its own greatest weakness," said Jeff Peters.
"That remark of yours is so inexplicable," I said, "that it's like 'Why the police?'."
"Not really," Jeff said. "There's no connection between the trust and the police. What I'm saying is the outline--the axis--is a substance. What it means is that the trust is both like an egg and not like an egg. When you break the egg, you Needs to be applied. A trust can only be broken from the inside out. Like a brood until it hatches its chicks. Just look at the chirping, looking-a-way chicks hatching in colleges and libraries across the country Head lad. Yes, sir, every trust contains within itself a hint of ruin, like a crowing rooster next to a black Methodist field service in Georgia, or a Texas campaign A Republican candidate for governor."
I asked Jeff, jokingly, if, in the course of his ever-changing, tangled, and tangled life, he had run what he called a "trust."To my surprise, he actually admitted it outright.
"Did it once," he said. "Even if there was any legal monopoly with a license issued by the state of New Jersey, it would not be as secure as we did that time. Everything was in our favor: Feng Shui, the police, guts; besides, the commodity we monopolized was the public Indispensable. Nobody in the world who has ever had trouble with the trusts could find anything wrong with our plan. Rockefeller's small kerosene business looked like a worthless speculative venture by comparison. But it turned out we were Frustrated."
"Probably met an unexpected opponent." I said.
"No, sir, only for the reasons I have just said. We are in a cocoon. A case of self-containment. As Albert Tennyson said, there is a crack in the speculation.
"You always remember, I told you, that Andy Tucker and I have been partners for years. He was the most gifted strategist I've ever seen in my life. He just needs to see someone has a piece of Money, it would be considered a disgrace if it could not be brought over. Andy had an education, as well as a great deal of practical common sense. He had gained a great deal of experience from books, and on any subject connected with reasoning of mind, he They can be familiar, talk for hours. He has played all kinds of tricks, ranging from showing slides from the annual meeting of the Federation of Tailors during a report on the scenery of Palestine; Dumping of counterfeit spirits distilled from nutmeg wood.
"Andy and I took a short trip to Mexico one spring, and during our stay a capitalist in Philadelphia paid us twenty-five hundred dollars for a half interest in a silver mine in Chihuahua. Yes, the silver mine does exist. The remaining half of the equity is worth at least two to three hundred thousand yuan. But I often wonder who the owner of the silver mine is.
"When we returned to America, we stopped at a small town in Texas on the Grand River. The name of the town was Bird City; it was not. There were about two thousand inhabitants in the town, mostly men. From my observation, Their source of livelihood is mainly by dealing with tall oak trees. Some are shepherds, some are gamblers, some are horse thieves, and many are engaged in smuggling. Andy and I live in a house that is like a roof garden and a partition. The day we arrived it rained so hard that, as the saying goes, the water juniper turned the spigot on Mount Amphibis.
"Let's say there are three hotels in Bird Town. Andy and I don't drink alcohol, but we can see people in the town making a triangle shuttle movement between these hotels all day long, and half night at night. Everyone seems to understand What to do with all their money.
"On the afternoon of the third day, when the rain stopped for a while, Andy and I went to the edge of town to look at the mud. Bird City sits between the Grande River and its old channel, which is now a Wide and deep wadi. The rain caused the water level to rise suddenly, and the soil clods along the river and wadi began to loosen and collapse. Andy looked at it for a long time. That man's brain never stops. Then he came up with his brainstorm The idea came to me. A trust was organized on the spot; and we returned to the town, and immediately put it on the market.
"First, we went to the biggest hotel in Bird City called the Blue Snake, and bought it for twelve hundred yuan. Then we pretended to be very casual, wandered over to the Mexican Joe's hotel, and chatted. Talking about the rainy weather, I bought his shop for another 500 yuan. The third shop was sold for 400 yuan, and the transaction was very smooth.
"The next morning, people in Bird City woke up and found that the town had become an isolated island. The river rushed into the old channel, and the town was surrounded by raging torrents. The rain continued, and the northwest was covered with dark clouds , indicating that there will be six annual average rainfalls in the next two weeks. But worse things are yet to come.
"Bird City jumped out of its nest, fluffed its feathers, and waddled through its morning drink. But lo and behold! Chico Joe's tavern with a door, another little adobe life-saver The door was also closed. The members of the town naturally let out a thirsty cry of wonder and turned and headed straight for the Blue Snake Hotel. What did they see there?
"Behind the counter in the bar sits the monopoly Jefferson Lord Peters, with a six-ring revolver on each side of his waist, ready to play according to circumstances, either to collect money for change, or to commit murder. There are three waiters in the shop, and there is a picture of ten Feet-long notice: 'One dollar, all liquors.' Andy, dressed in neat blue and smoking a cigar with a gold paper band, sat on the safe, ready for something extraordinary. The town's police chief Police with two policemen, because the Trust promised to supply them with free drink.
"Within ten minutes, Birdtown knew it was caged. We feared there would be trouble; it didn't. The townspeople found we had the upper hand. The nearest rail line was thirty miles away; It took two weeks for the river to recede and people to wade across, so all they had to do was swear amiably and start throwing silver coins over the bar, jingling like a selection from a xylophone.
"There are about fifteen hundred adults of ridiculous age in Bird City; most of them drink from three to twenty drinks a day just to get by. The Blue Snake is where they can get their booze until the water recedes The one and only place. Like all really great scams, this one was done beautifully and neatly.
"Around ten o'clock, the silver dollars falling on the bar slowed down, from a jig to a two-step and a march. I looked out the window and saw our customers lined up outside the Bird City Savings Trust. Two hundred. I know they're borrowing money for the cold, sticky tentacles of the trust octopus to grab.
"At noon, everyone went home for dinner according to the rules. We told the waiter to go to eat in the spare time. Andy and I counted the income, and it was as much as 1,300 yuan. According to our estimation, as long as Bird City is closed again During the two-week flood siege, Trust was on condition to donate a dormitory with padded walls to the faculty of the University of Chicago, and a farm to every decent poor person in Texas, if he could furnish them.
"Our success made Andy feel invincible, because the draft of the plan came from his speculations and hunches. He jumped from the safe and lit the biggest cigar in the store.
"'Jeff,' he said, 'I don't think you'll find three greedy people anywhere in the world with a smarter idea of suppressing the proletariat than Peters, Satan, and Tucker, Inc. .We've really hit the small consumer's apoplexy nerve center, haven't we?'
"'Well,' said I, 'whether we like it or not, it looks like we're going to have stomachaches like rich men, play golf, and go hunting in kilts. This whiskey trick is very Success. I'm satisfied.' I said. 'I'd rather be fat than lose weight.'
"Andy poured a good shot of our best rye whiskey, and put it to good use. As far as I can remember, he never drank in his life.
"'This cup congratulates the liberation of Shinto,' he said.
"After he'd provoked the crooked Shinto in this way, he toasted our success again. Then he began to toast the monopolies, from the Northern Pacific Railroad and the smaller businesses like the Textbook Affiliate, the Man-made The Butter Monopoly Company, the Lehigh Valley Anthracite Mine, and the Great Scottish Consolidated Coal Company.
"'Andy,' I said, 'to the health of our fellow monopolies, there's nothing wrong with that, but don't drink to excess. You know, our most famous and hated billionaires Live on tea and dog biscuits.'
"Andy went into the back room for a while, and came out dressed in his best clothes. There was something menacing and affectionate in his mild, troubled eyes, which made me uncomfortable. I watched closely to see what the whiskey in his stomach would do. There are two situations where you can't predict the outcome. One is the man's first drink and the other is the woman's last.
"Within an hour Andy's inebriation had turned into a drunk. He was still dignified and calm on the outside, but inside he was full of unexpected things that were on the verge of breaking out.
"'Jeff,' he said, 'do you know I'm a pass—a living pass?'
"'That's a self-evident assumption,' I said. 'But you're not Irish. Why don't you say 'population' according to the rules of grammar and rhetoric in America?'
"'I am a volcanic caldera,' he said. 'I am burning with all kinds of words in my stomach, and I must find an exit. I feel that thousands of synonyms and parts of speech are in the I'm churning,' he said, 'I've got to give a speech. After the drink,' said Andy, 'I always tend to give a speech.'
"'That's bad,' I said.
"'As far as I can remember,' he said, 'alcohol seemed to stimulate my eloquence and rhetorical sense. Didn't they, the second campaign,' said Andy, 'they always gave me three drinks Gin pop. I could talk about the silver standard for two hours longer than Billy himself. But I was finally convinced the gold standard was better.'
"'Since you must vent your excess,' said I, 'why don't you go down to the river bank and talk? I think there was an old orator named, who used to go to the seashore to vent his stomach. Exhaust.'
"'No,' said Andy, 'I've got to have an audience. I think if I get on with it, people will call it the great little sphinx of the Wabash. I've got to get an audience. Listeners, Jeff, let me ease into this verbal bloat, or it will creep in and make me feel like a rough-edged hardcover.'
"'Does the talk you want to give involve some particular theorems and themes?' I asked.
"'I don't have a preference,' said Andy. 'I can talk and sing on any subject. I can talk about Russian immigration, the poetry of John Keats, tariffs, literature, or drainage, and take turns. Make my hearers weep and howl and whimper and weep.'
"'Well, Andy,' I said, 'if you have to let the gloom out, you'd go to town and get some decent folks to play with. Me and my brethren are here to look after the business. Folks at once Lunch is almost over, and bacon and beans always make one thirsty. We'll have at least fifteen hundred bucks left for it before midnight.'
"So Andy walked out of the Blue Snake Hotel. I saw him stop people on the street and talk to them. It didn't take long before five or six people gathered around to listen to him; Pointing and talking to a large group of people. When he walked away, people followed him one by one. He kept talking and led them to the main street of Bird City. Many people followed him on the road. This situation reminded me of the old trick that I read in the book about the painted organ player in Heidsieck who kidnapped all the children in the town.
"One o'clock came; then two o'clock, and three o'clock to the finish line; but none of the inhabitants of Birdtown came in to drink. The street was deserted, except for a few ducks and a few women going to the shops. At that time It was only raining.
"A lone man came and stopped in front of the Blue Snake Hotel to scrape the mud off his boots.
"'My friend,' said I, 'what's the matter? This morning, everyone was jubilant, and now the whole town is like the ruins of Teal and Siphon, with only one lizard on the portcullis of the city gate. crawling alone.'
"'All the townspeople,' said the muddy man, 'have gone to Sperry's Wool Warehouse to hear your partner's speech. His arguments are excellent, both in subject and conclusion.' The People say.
"'I wish he would adjourn soon,' said I, 'business is weak, and it's too late to adjourn.'
"That afternoon, no customers came. At six o'clock, two Mexicans took Andy back to the hotel on the back of a donkey. When we put him on the bed, he was still dancing and chattering.
"I locked up my cash and went down the street to see what was going on. A guy told me exactly what was going on. He said Andy gave a two-hour speech that was brilliant, whether in Texas or anywhere else in the world. It's rare to hear anywhere.
"'What was he talking about?' I asked.
"'Abstain from drinking,' he said. 'After the speech, everyone in Birdtown pledged to give up drinking for a year.'"
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