Chapter 20 Section VII

The water soon began to steam and bubble. "Help me to the tub," Dunk told the boy.Together they lifted the kettle from the fire and walked across the cellar to the great wooden tub. "I don't know how to talk to well-born ladies," he confessed as they poured water. "We could have both been killed in Dorne because of what I said to Mrs. Wyss." "Mrs. Weiss is crazy," Egg reminded him. "But you could have been more chivalrous. Ladies love you for being chivalrous. If you could save the Red Widow like you saved the puppeteer girl from Aerion..."

"Aerion is in Lys, and the widow doesn't need saving." He didn't want to talk about Tanslee. "Over-Tall Tanseely" was her name, but she wasn't too tall for me. "Okay," the boy said. "Some knights sang chivalrous songs to the ladies, or played melodies on a lyre." "I don't have a lyre." Dunk looked depressed. "And I drank too much that night in Plank, and you said I sang like a bull in a mud puddle." "I forgot, ser." "How can you forget?" "You told me to forget, ser," said Egg, looking innocent. "You tell me I'm going to get a slap in the ear the next time I mention it."

"There's no such thing as singing." Even with his voice, the only song Dunk knew all along was "The Bear and the Fair Lady."He wondered how much it would do in winning Mrs. Webb's heart.The kettle was steaming again, and they dragged it to the tub and turned it upside down. Egg filled it with water for the third time, and climbed back up the rim. "You'd better not eat or drink anything at Coldmoat, ser. The Red Widow poisoned all her husbands." "I don't think I'm going to marry her. She's a wellborn lady, and I'm Dunk of Flea Bottom, remember?" He frowned. "But how many husbands she has had, do you know?"

"Four," Egg said. "But there was no child. Whenever she gave birth, a devil would come at night and kill the child. Humpbacked Sam's wife said she sold her unborn child to the master of the seven hells, so he would Teach her the Dark Arts." "Ladies of good birth have nothing to do with the Dark Arts. They dance, sing, and embroider." "Maybe she dances with devils and embroiders wicked spells," said Egg brightly. "And how do you know what well-born ladies do, ser? Mrs. Wyss is the only one you ever knew." That was arrogant enough, but it was the truth. "Maybe I don't know a well-born lady, but I know a brat who wants a slap on the ear." Dunk rubbed the back of his neck.Wearing armor all day always makes it hard as wood. "You know about queens and princesses. Did they dance with devils and practice black magic?"

"Lady Sheila is like this. She's the mistress of the Duke of Bloodraven. She bathes in blood to keep her beauty. My sister Ray once put a love potion in my drink so I'd be with her Married, not with my sister Della." Egg made it like this incest was the most natural thing in the world; and to him it was.The Targaryen family has been intermarrying brothers and sisters for hundreds of years in order to keep the blood of the Dragon King pure.Although the last true dragon died before Dunk was born, the dragonlords continued.Maybe the gods didn't care that they married their own sisters. "Did the potion work?" Dunk asked.

"It would have been," Egg said. "But I spit it out. I don't want a wife, I want to be a knight of the Kingsguard, living only to serve and protect the king. The Kingsguard swore not to marry." "That's noble, but when you're older you find you want a girl more than a white cloak." Dunk was thinking of "over-tall Tanserly," and what she said to The way he smiles. "Ser Eustace says I'm just the kind of man he would like his daughter to marry. Her name is Alysanne." "She's dead, ser." "I know she's dead," said Dunk, slightly annoyed. "If she lived, he said. If she lived, he would be glad to let her marry me, or someone like me. No nobleman ever promised me their daughter before."

"His dead daughter. And the Osgreys may have been nobles once, but Ser Eustace was only a landed knight." "I know what he is. You want a slap on the ear?" "Well," said Egg, "I'd rather have a slap than a wife. Especially a dead wife, ser. The kettle's steaming." They carried the water to the tub, and Dunk pulled his top over his head. "I'll wear my Dornish tunic to Coldmoat." It was made of Sass, his best suit, with pictures of his elms and shooting stars. "It'll be all soaked in sweat if you rode in it, ser," said Egg. "Wear the one you're wearing today. I'll take another one, and you can change it out before you get to the castle."

"Before I get to the castle. I don't look like a fool if I change on the drawbridge. And who says you're coming with me?" "A knight with a squire is more impressive." That is the truth.The boy has good judgment in such matters - and he should.He worked as a servant in King's Landing for two years.Even so, Dunk was reluctant to take him into danger.He had no idea what kind of welcome awaited him at Coldmoat.If the Red Widow was as dangerous as they said, he'd probably end up in a crow cage, like the two they'd seen on the road. "You'll stay and help Bennis deal with those civilians," he told Egg. "Don't look at me so sullenly." He kicked off his breeches and climbed into the steaming water of the tub. "Now go to bed and let me soak myself in the bath. You can't go, that's final."

Egg was up and gone when Dunk awoke, the morning sun on his face.Gods are merciful, how can the weather heat up so quickly?He sat up, stretched, yawned, then got up and staggered sleepily down to the well.There he lit a thick tallow candle, splashed cold water on his face, and dressed. When he went out into the sunshine, Thunder was waiting by the stable, saddle and bridle ready.Egg was waiting too, and Maester, his mule. The boy has put on his boots.For the first time he looked like a proper page, in a handsome green and gold doublet and tight white wool breeches. "The hip of the breeches was torn, but Sam Hunchback's wife sewed it up for me," he announced.

"The clothes are Adam's," said Ser Eustace, as he led his gray gelding from the stable.A chequy lion adorned the frayed silk cloak that hung over the old man's shoulders. "The tunic was a bit moldy in the box, but it should be all right. A knight with a squire is more impressive, so I've decided that Egg should accompany you to Coldmoat." Outwitted by a ten-year-old boy.Dunk looked at Egg and mouthed "slap" silently.The boy grinned. "I have something for you, Ser Duncan. Come." Ser Eustace produced a cloak, and shook it out with a flick.

It was of white wool, bordered with squares of green satin and gold cloth.A woolen cloak was the last thing he needed in this heat, but Dunk saw the pride in Ser Eustace's face as he draped it over his shoulders, and found himself unable to refuse. "Thank you, Your Excellency." "It's just right for you. I wish I could give you more." The old man's beard twitched. "I sent Sam the Hunchback down in the cellar to go over my sons' things, but Edwin and Harold were smaller men, with less thick breasts and much shorter legs. It's a pity they left Nothing works for you." "The cloak will suffice, my lord. I will not shame it." "I don't doubt that." He patted his horse. "I'd like to go for a ride with you, if you don't object." "Of course not, sir." Egg led them down the hill, sitting high on Maester's back. "Must he be wearing that floppy hat?" Ser Eustace asked Dunk. "He looks kind of stupid, don't you think so?" "It would be even more stupid if his head was peeled, Your Excellency." Even at this moment when the sun was just rising on the horizon, it was already hot.By afternoon the saddle would be hot enough to blister a man.Egg might look elegant in Dead Boy's finery, but before dusk he'd be a hard-boiled egg.At least Dunk was still able to change; his good jacket was in his saddlebags, and his old green was on. "We'll take the west road," announced Ser Eustace. "It hasn't been used much in the past few years, but it's still the shortest way from Standfast to Coldmoat." The road took them around the back of the hill, past thick blackberry bushes, and the old knight let his wife and son Where the graves of our rest lie. "They love picking blackberries here, my boys. When they were little they would come up to me with sticky faces and scratched arms, and then I'd know where they just went." He loved smiled. "Your Egg reminds me of my Adam. He was brave for such a young boy. A riverman with six acorns painted on his shield chopped off his arm with an axe. ' His mournful gray eyes met Dunk's. "Your old master, the knight of Paniki... did he fight in the Blackfyre Rebellion?" "He fought, my lord. Before he took me in." Dunk was not yet three or four years old, running about half naked in the alleys of Flea Hole, more animal than boy. "Is he a red dragon or a black dragon?"