Chapter 18 Chapter Seventeen

As soon as mid-December passed, the busy atmosphere could be felt everywhere in the hospital.Patients who can be discharged immediately want to be discharged before the end of the year no matter what. In this busy season, staying in the hospital is not at ease anyway, especially for people who are not too busy like the elderly and children. Most of them rush home at the end of the year to celebrate the new year, and return immediately after the first month. However, only those who are not seriously ill can be discharged according to their own wishes.Although he said he wanted to go home very much, but if his condition was serious, there was nothing he could do.One of them was Hyakura Yuzo who lived in Ward 412.

Yuzo, who once looked like he would recover soon, has been deteriorating steadily these days.In fact, the operation he performed was not an operation at all, it was just an open stomach operation.It may be a bit inappropriate to use the word "really" to describe the deterioration of the condition, but if you look at it from the perspective of Dr. Naoe's prediction, this is the fact.Indeed, Naoe had predicted that Yuzura might not even survive this year, or at most it would be delayed until early January next year, and he told his family.The error in his prediction was only half a month, and Yuzang would indeed die within the time he predicted.It was just a fake operation that would leave scars on the skin, and Dr. Naoe knew exactly when he would die.

It will soon be late December.If Dr. Naoe's prediction is correct, there are only ten days left before Yuzo's death, even if it is expected to be in the middle of January, it will only be twenty days. During this period of time, not to mention going to the toilet or washing his face by himself, it became very difficult for Yuzang to even get up.Although he has his wife and eldest daughter-in-law to take care of him, when he needs to change his pajamas, he has to ask the nurse to help him.Now he is so thin that only skin and bones are left. Although he is very light, he doesn't even have the energy to move.He once weighed nearly 70 kilograms and was very strong. At the beginning of February, when he was barely able to go to the toilet by himself, he dropped to 48 kilograms. Now he may not be more than 40 kilograms.The dark skin used to look healthy, but now it is gradually turning yellow, and the floor is darker, making it look even more dull.

Against the backdrop of his rib-protruding upper body, his belly looked huge, but that wasn't fat, but because he had a lot of ascites accumulated in his stomach.Now not only are there cancer cells in the stomach, but they have spread from the liver to the peritoneum, which will eventually cause cancerous peritonitis, which is beyond doubt. During the rounds, Naoe percussed his bulging stomach and listened with a stethoscope.When slapped with hands, the swollen belly made a light, metal-cracking sound, the so-called drum sound, which indicated that a large amount of ascites had accumulated in his stomach.

After the auscultation, Naoe put the stethoscope on his stomach.When the tip of the stethoscope made of ivory touched his skin, he could faintly hear the throbbing sound of ascites, but apart from this sound, he could not hear any sound from the intestines that had not eaten. Naoe stood there, put the stethoscope on his stomach, and tilted his head slightly. From the eyes of others, he seemed to be listening very carefully. In fact, to Naoe, the sound seemed like Approaching the sound of death's footsteps, after the auscultation, Naoe slowly took off the stethoscope worn on both ears, folded it in three at the rubber part, and put it in his pocket.At this time, the nurse helped Youzang to fasten the abdominal belt and fasten the unbuttoned pajamas.

"I'll see you again when I have time." Hearing what Naoe said, Yuzo, who was lying on the bed, nodded slightly, but did not ask questions such as "how is it" or "when will the draft be ready".Only the family and friends of the patient kept asking about the condition, and the patient himself and the attending doctor knew very well that death would be inevitable.But all of this is neither told by the doctor to the patient nor known by the patient after asking the doctor, but communicated to each other through a method that is difficult to express in words. Doctors know it through theory and experience, while patients judge it through their own bodily sensations.Although the two have not talked about these things, they can understand each other.

Now Yuzang understands that the operation he performed in the past was meaningless, but he never asked the doctor or complained.Because he felt that these should not be said out loud, as long as each of them understood in their hearts, and only in this way could they barely maintain their psychological balance. If you really ask "why" and "why", you may immediately fall into an indescribable fear, because once you know the reason, even the last hope of survival will be shattered.In the case of ... this ignorance, patients who are close to death will realize the value of survival, and doctors will also find salvation in it.

Rinko Shimura told the nurse about Yuzo on the evening of the 19th, twelve days before the end of the year. "The old man is weird recently." Lunzi, who is usually very quiet, suddenly exclaimed with excitement that day.In the duty room of the ward, besides the head nurse and Rinko, there were three nurses including Akiko Takagi. "What's the matter, flustered?" "Just now, I heard the bell ringing in the old man's house, so I went to have a look. It seems that his wife is out shopping, and he is the only one there." At this time, the other nurses also stopped their work and listened to Lunzi.

"I asked him what's the matter, and he pointed down with his finger and said: I rang the bell because I needed to pee." "Then you help him solve it." "Well, I gave him a urine bottle, but he didn't even have a drop of urine." "Is the urethra blocked?" "I don't think so." "What's going on?" The head nurse with a small face glanced at Lunzi after speaking. "When he really needs to pee, it's done very quickly." "Isn't that all right?" "Recently, even if he doesn't need to urinate, he often rings the bell to call the nurse over."

"After being seriously ill, my mind became very confused, and I couldn't even feel that my bladder was full of urine." Lunzi put his hands on the table in silence, and after a while he whispered: "Actually, he didn't want to urinate at all." "That is……" "They said they wanted to pee, but they actually wanted to touch me." "Contact with you?" When the ten chief guard asked Lunzi in this way, Lunzi hurriedly turned his gaze to the side.When the head nurse saw it, she nodded and said, "So, he wants you to touch his place."

"Ok……" "Called the nurse over just for that?" "Not only that, but he also asked me to do some very unexpected things." "An unexpected thing?" "He wants me to grab his place..." "It's unbelievable!" "Really, it's true." "But, the old man can't eat anything, he just lives on a drip!" "At first I didn't know what it was. But after listening carefully, I understood what he meant." "I have been asked like that by him before." At this time, Yunoxiang whispered beside him. "He Shimura Kazuhiro, just as I was about to put the urine bottle on him, he grabbed my hand." "With his wrinkled hands?" "I was shocked and wanted to take my hand away, but he just put my hand in there very forcefully." "Then what did you do in the end?" "Of course I refused." "Actually, I had the same experience. Although it was not obvious, he forced that thing into my hands." This time it was Akiko who said. "It's really outrageous." The chief nurse showed an unbelievable expression, and looked at Lunzi and the others one by one. "As soon as the bell in the old man's house rang, I immediately thought whether it would be like that again. I really didn't want to go at all." "I understand your feeling very well." This is a very worrying question.If it happened to be impulsive, it would happen occasionally, but the three nurses present all encountered the same situation, so it was not a trivial matter.Since both of them have said it, it must not be fabricated. "To do such a thing, he treats the nurse as someone, and he must not be spared." "Anyway, he won't live long, forget it." "But that's too outrageous." "That's what I said, but after all, he is a seriously ill patient who can't last even half a month." "Even so, can he still grab someone's hand? Does a man still have sexual desire at that point?" "I thought it was gone, but..." "Men are really puzzling!" The head nurse sighed deeply after hearing this, and immediately said, "At that time, you should give him a slap." "But he always begged very earnestly." "You are really stupid, does that mean he is not a hooligan?" At this time, the three of them were silent. "He always called the nurse when there was no one else in the ward." "Of course it must be called when he is alone!" "Does he still want his wife and daughter-in-law to do that?" "I don't think he would let his wife do that," Rinko said. "If he asked his wife to do that, he wouldn't ask us to do it." "I think it's because we are young." As Akiko said, all three nodded at the same time. "Then when did the old man start doing such disgusting things?" "The first time was probably more than a month ago." Lunzi replied. "I think it was half a month ago" "Me too." Immediately afterwards, Akiko and Axiang also returned to the pipe. "What a strange thing! Do not do it when you are healthy, but start it when you are dying." It is indeed as the head nurse said. "Anyway, you should have told me about it earlier, but I finally heard about it today. I'll go and discuss it with the dean right away." After the head nurse finished speaking, she immediately asked, "Have you not told Dr. Naoe yet?" "No one told." For women, this kind of thing is difficult to tell even to the person in charge. "I heard everything clearly. I will discuss this matter with other doctors. No matter how much he begs you in the future, he will pretend not to hear you and must refuse him." The chief protector said as if giving an order, and muttered, "It's so contemptuous". The next morning, the head nurse went to Zhie Nari and told him about it.At that time, Naoe was going to make a ward round when he was suddenly called to the duty room. The head nurse asked him to sit on the sofa at one end of the duty room. "I have something very important to tell you." "What's the matter?" Zhijiang sat on the sofa and thought: What's wrong with me?At this time, the nurses thought it was some very common words, so they listened with their ears up while working. "Mr. Ishikura Yuzo often made some outrageous requests to the nurses." The head nurse immediately began to tell the nurses present everything she had heard. At this time, the head nurse was more lively than when she was working. After roughly speaking, the head nurse put her hands on her knees very solemnly. "Do you think this is going to be true?" "Probably true!" Unexpectedly, Naoe nodded nonchalantly. "But the old man can only live for half a month at most." "That's why we did it." "That's why?" "It was because he was going to die soon, so he did that." "It's unbelievable to ask to do such a thing in such a weak body that your life is in danger!" "It's a bit unbelievable, but people are probably like this." At this time, the simple head nurse was completely confused. "In short, it's the nurses who are going on like this! And it's also necessary to remind the patients and their families. Can Dr. Naoe help us remind them?" "Do the nurses find it annoying?" "It should be a matter of course! Would anyone be willing to be asked to do such a disgusting thing?" "Not without it?" "It goes without saying if it's someone I like in special dramas, but he's an old man who is so thin that he's about to die!" The head nurse blushed after she finished speaking. "You can still talk about liking it. It must be disgusting. It's a pervert to do something like that." "..." "Doctor Naoe, please tell them. Because even if they are nurses, they can't do that kind of thing." "Do you have to say it anyway?" "Doctor Naoe, this is not a joke with you." The head nurse stared blankly at Dr. Naoe, but Naoe said calmly, "You don't have to say that kind of thing so solemnly, do you?" "Then what do you say?" "Everyone just needs to deal with it properly." "what are you talking about…" "Maybe some of them think it's all right to touch them." "Even if you insult the nurse, it should be done in moderation." "That's not an insult to them." "I won't tell you anymore." Saying that, the ten chief nurse stood up angrily from the sofa. Dr. Naoe did not particularly object to Ishikura Yuzo's unusual request. Instead, he said that he should accept it. This incident reached the ears of all the nurses in the hospital that day. "It's really outrageous, who does he think of us?" "Even though I'm a doctor, I don't have that kind of power." Even the nurses who would never agree with the head nurse's opinion, this time they stood by the head nurse and expressed their dissatisfaction. "Isn't that treating us like soap girls?" "What is a soap girl?" Unoxiang asked Midori Tanaka. "You don't know?" "what?" "I can't tell," Ah Lu, who just turned 23 and has many boyfriends, said with a wry smile, "In short, they are the ones who specialize in massaging there." "Doesn't soap refer to bathhouses?" "It looks like that on the surface, but in fact it seems to be a place where no serious business is done." Those who listened were fine, but Ah Lu said with a flushed face, "It's really annoying..." "Is the old man still planning to go for a massage?" "Stop talking about it." Midori, who was scolded by the head nurse, made faces at everyone. Although Rinko was listening to the conversation of the nurses, she pretended not to listen. The topics at this time were all focused on accusing Dr. Naoe of what Dr. Naoe had said, but Rinko wanted to defend Naoe on the contrary because he said too much. "We should protest against Dr. Naoe again." Like the head nurse, Ah Lu was also very angry.Rinko said as if she was blaming everyone: "I shouldn't have said that kind of thing. It is indeed like what Dr. Naoe said, maybe we should deal with this matter realistically." "So that means, sometimes you don't hate that kind of thing?" The head nurse raised her voice a little and said, "I'm not saying I don't hate it, but if he asks for it seriously..." "No matter what he asks, it should be divided into events and occasions, right? If you do that kind of thing, then it will be like what Midori said, and you will really become a soap girl." "But we are not doing it for money or anything, we just feel that the patients are too pitiful..." "How can it be pitiful to ask for such a thing?" "But he will die forever in a few days!" "You mean to say that since you're about to die, you'll accept whatever is asked of you." "That's not what I meant." "You were the first to say that you hated being asked to do something like that, right?" "I'm sorry." Rinko said with her head down, and it was only then that she realized that she had said the same thing as Dr. Naoe at some point. "Okay, okay, in the end it's still a personal matter, so there's no way to make any rules, as long as you don't do that kind of thing in the future. I'll talk to Mr. Ishikura's family about it." The head nurse and the nurses seemed to have thought of the relationship between Rinko and Dr. Naoe, and everyone quietly observed Rinko's expression.Although Rinko sensed that her colleagues were watching her, when she thought that Dr. Naoe must understand why she did this, she felt excited for having such courage, and even wanted to cry. Dr. Naoe took a rest the next day after the argument.Near noon the next day, he called the hospital and said he was not feeling well and needed to rest. "That man must have drunk too much!" "Probably overslept, too lazy to come." Because Dr. Naoe is often late, everyone is used to it, but asking for leave is extremely rare.The nurses were all joking and talking about something, but Lunzi couldn't calm down no matter what.She wanted to make a phone call to inquire about his situation, but she picked up the receiver but put it down again.Naoe seldom dated Rinko during this time.Although Yu can meet in the hospital every day, there are always other people around, and there is almost no chance for the two of them to have a private conversation alone.And sometimes even if they meet each other, Naoe always pretends to be a stranger.Rinko was just blindly waiting for Naoko to take the initiative to ask her out, at most once a week, and that was only when she was off work, Naoko would suddenly ask, "Are you free today?". In addition to learning flower arranging two days a week, Rinko sometimes makes appointments with friends to attend concerts or violin recitals.But if Naoe asks her out, she will reject all appointments and choose to go to Naoe. Although she once complained about Naoe: Why didn't you make an appointment with her in advance?But Naoe never wanted to change, but although Rinko complained, she would cancel other appointments in the end and forgive Naoe. Every time Naoko went to his house, the room would definitely be messy, the table was always full of half-drunk wine glasses and beer bottles, and the room was full of dust.At this time, Lunzi, who likes to be clean, will immediately wash the dishes, clean the house, and sometimes even wipe it with a rag. The love affair was carried out after that, the cleaning and the love affairs were like a series of related things developing, not to mention Naoe, even Rinko thought it was normal.From this point of view, Rinko seems to be playing the two different roles of part-time worker and lover at the same time, but she is used to it. In the past, there were about two trysts a week, but now there is only one, sometimes even once every ten days and a half months.Rinko is just waiting blindly for Naoe to ask her out, will he ask me out today?Lunzi's premonition was not quite accurate.It would be a good thing if he guessed right, but even if he didn't guess right, Lunzi wouldn't be so sad recently.Because even if you can't meet, when you are alone in the house, you can still immerse yourself in the emotion that you have when you are together. But sometimes Rinko would take the initiative to ask, "Are you going home directly today?" Naoe just nodded impatiently and left.At this moment, Rinko knew that he was not in the mood for a date today, but other than that, she had no idea what Naoe was thinking. It is unbelievable that although they have had sex many times and are already familiar with each other's bodies, Rinko has no idea what Naoe is thinking.As soon as the body touches, it should immediately become very intimate, but she and Naoe have never felt that way. , between body and body, mind and soul, like two completely different exchanges.This is the feeling that Naoe brought to Lunzi, but Lunzi herself had already given her heart and body to Huangjiang.Sometimes, patients who have been discharged from the hospital or young doctors who come on duty will ask her to go on a date, but Ke Lunzi never agrees.She thought it would be better to be with her girlfriends than to date men other than Naoe.She has no interest in other men at all, which even Lunzi himself finds it incredible. Even so, Rinko still sensed that there were other women beside Naoe beside herself.Sometimes it seemed that a woman called the hospital to find Naoe, sometimes when cleaning his house, hairpins were found on the floor, and sometimes things like wine glasses were neatly packed, but it never looked like he did it himself.All this prompted Lunzi to have the above-mentioned idea. Ke Lunzi never complained about this matter.Rinko is just Naoe's lover, because Naoe has never talked to her about getting engaged or living together.Although her loss of virginity was unilaterally caused by Naoe, Rinko herself was willing, and she didn't put forward any conditions at that time.Even though she knew at that time that Naoe had other women besides herself, she even felt that it would be a bit strange if she didn't have one.Lunzi doesn't want to think about anyone other than herself now, thinking about those things will only make her feel painful and difficult to calm down.As long as she likes Naoko, Rinko is already very satisfied. The next day, Naoe still didn't come to work.According to the woman in the reception room, Naoe personally called in the morning to say that he needed to rest for another day.It was the first time that Naoe had rested for two consecutive days. "I don't know how his health is. It must be very inconvenient to be alone. Do you want someone to take care of him?" Near the end of the year, Mrs. Ritsuko, who had been visiting the hospital for several days in a row, came to the duty room and ordered the head nurse. "I thought about it just now, so I called him, but he said he just had a cold, and he would be back to work in a day or two, and said he didn't have to worry about him." "But what about him who eats and cleans the house by himself?" "yes." The head nurse also nodded after hearing this, but said nothing.At this time, Mrs. Ritsuko and the others involuntarily turned their eyes to Rinko. "Shimura, take some time to take a look." "I?" Rinko, who was opening a glass bottle for injection, stopped when she heard Mrs. Ritsuko call her name. "You can go at noon, just say I let you go. Do you have any objections, head nurse?" "No, there is no surgery to be done this afternoon, Shimura, you can go." The head nurse hastily agreed. "Go and see how Dr. Naoe is doing." She understands the good intentions of Mrs. Ritsuko and the head nurse, but she always feels as if the relationship between her and Naoe has been seen through, and their tone of voice is very cold. However, she can go to see Naoe without going to work in the afternoon. It's not a bad thing either.Because I used to worry about whether to call him many times before, now I have the order from the dean's wife, so I can go to him in a legitimate way.Lun Zili thought about something else and went obediently. Because Dr. Naoe had rested for two consecutive days, Dr. Xiaoqiao was too busy to even smoke.Especially in the outpatient department, because there are too many new and old patients, there is no free time. It is past twelve o'clock, and there are still more than ten patients waiting in line.The number of patients basically did not change much in normal times, maybe even less, but because those new patients who have been in charge of Naoe also came to see the doctor, it took a lot of time.If it is not the first time to see a doctor, you can refer to the previous diagnosis, which can be faster.But new patients can't do that.Since the results of the examination have not yet been summarized, but on the first day, I had to roughly state the name of the disease and roughly state my treatment plan.Xiaoqiao had always been on the sidelines before, and always felt that new patients could see it by themselves, but once it was his turn to take responsibility for the consultation in person, it was really not as simple and easy as he imagined when he was on the sidelines. Considering going to Naoe's house in the afternoon, Rinko left the duty room as soon as twelve o'clock and came to the outpatient clinic to help Xiaoqiao, so that Axiang and Akiko, who had been helping here all the time, could have dinner earlier. Xiaoqiao may be thinking that Naoe will see the diagnosis results when he was away when he comes in the future, so he is especially careful with new patients.Since he is relatively young, if Naoe finds out that he was misdiagnosed in the future, it will be too late to regret.It seems that it is precisely because of this that Xiaoqiao is extra cautious. Just as he was helping a 60-year-old rheumatoid arthritis patient drain the fluid in his knee and inject prednisolone, he heard hurried footsteps descending the stairs from the second floor.Just when he was about to look up to see what was going on, the trainee nurse Tomoko Chuawa stood at the door of the consulting room and said, "Doctor, Mr. Ishikura, he..." Speaking of this, Tomoko took a breath and continued, "It's phlegm that's stuck in my throat." "Can't breathe?" "yes." "What about blood pressure?" "I have no idea." "Go get your stethoscope..." After Xiaoqiao finished speaking to Lunzi, he rushed out of the outpatient room and ran towards the stairs, leaving the patient lying on the bed with his knees exposed. Xiaoqiao and Lunzi ran over to take a look. Youzang's chin stretched out and his face was pale. After he opened his mouth, his throat was trembling slightly, but there was no obvious sign of breathing. "Get the sputum suction device quickly." Lunzi returned to the duty room and fetched a portable sputum suction device. "Mr. Ishikura, Mr. Ishikura one" Xiaoqiao repeated his artificial respiration while calling his name. This sudden change in the condition is obviously because the throat is blocked by phlegm.If you are a healthy person, you can spit it out by yourself, but you can't do it for an elderly and weak person. "Is the suction device plugged in?" "All right." Turn on the switch, the motor roars.The front end of the aspirator was inserted into Yuzang's nostril. "Ah, wow..." Suddenly Yuzo made an animal-like sound and leaned back a bit, when something like a glob of saliva flowed out of the straw. "Don't let him move." The two nurses hurriedly held down Yuzang's hands and feet. The eldest daughter-in-law, who had been waiting by the side, stood behind the nurse, watching with trepidation.It was lucky to hear the patient's cries, as this was the only evidence that he was still alive. "Spit it out, spit it out as much as you can." Xiaoqiao moved the straw while talking, and the two nurses were desperately pressing the struggling patient. Yuzang resumed his normal breathing, and calmed down after ten minutes.In the suction bottle of the sputum aspirator, the freshly sucked yellow-brown sputum floats on the water. "It's really dangerous. If you come one step later, you will die." Hearing what Xiaoqiao said, the eldest daughter-in-law bowed her head without saying anything. "It's better to put the suction device in this room from now on." At this time, Yuzang's eyes and nose were constantly overflowing with painful tears and saliva, and he was breathing slightly. "Are you all right?" "It should be fine this time, but it may happen again, and he must not be left alone in the house." Panting for breath, Yuzang stretched his right hand to the side of the bed, as if he wanted to say something. "what do you want to say." "what……" "Try to speak slowly." "Quick, let me die!" Xiaoqiao whispered in the old man's ear: "Don't say that, isn't this a good life?" "So, so painful..." Shi Cang shook his head and said. "How can this work, cheer up." Xiaoqiao suddenly patted Shicang's skinny arm and said. "Then... then... where is Dr. Naoe?" "He has a cold and can't come today." Rinko replied while wiping Yuzo's eyes and mouth with gauze. "We'll see him soon." "Let me die!" "I've already said, you must not think that way. Thanks to Dr. Xiaoqiao for helping you save your life, you can talk like this." "No, it's hopeless." After finishing speaking, Yuzo buried his thin face in the pillow with an exhausted look. After all this fuss, it was already past two o'clock in the afternoon when Rinko arrived at Naoe's apartment. The door was closed tightly, and there was no one in the corridor.Despite being here more than once, she was still a little nervous.It has been more than ten days since the last date, and it was the first time for Lunzi to come to his house suddenly during his two-day vacation. "Is there anyone else in the house?" When Renzi was about to ring the doorbell next to him, he suddenly felt this uneasy feeling.If only I had called him beforehand! Now she regretted that she had come here so abruptly.Since it was a business matter and she was sent by the dean's wife, she was sure that she would see Naoe, but maybe he was not at home.Will Naoe wait for his arrival alone?Lunzi doesn't have any doubts about this, but maybe this is just her own understanding. Anyway... Lunzi hesitated at the door for a long time, but after a while she made up her mind and rang the doorbell.She could hear the doorbell ringing inside the house, but no one came out.The second time, the third time, still no response.Ten minutes later, Lunzi rang the doorbell again. This time she leaned closer to the crack of the door.There is indeed a doorbell ringing in the house, as long as you get up, you should be able to hear it, even if you are sleeping, you should have noticed it if it keeps ringing like this. Is there anyone else here? That uneasiness appeared in Lunzi's mind again.If it is an ordinary guest, it will not fail to come out.From this point of view, the guest who came must be a woman. Could it be that he was with that woman... Dr. Naoe must have been hugging tightly on the bed with a woman he didn't know.Whenever the doorbell rang, the woman would lean her face against Naoe's chest, and Naoe was holding her and looking at the wall, both of them must be naked.She kept thinking of the worst. Maybe the two were whispering, maybe the woman was slowly approaching the door, looking through the hole to see who it was.Rinko did the same when Rinko and Naoe were two people and rang the doorbell.Looking out through the door hole, although what you see is very small, because it is a concave mirror, you can even see the left and right sides of the door. Maybe she was already in her sight now, Rinko hurriedly turned her body from the front of the door hole to the side of the door.However, the door hole was still the same as usual, there was no sound in the tail, and there was no sign of human activity at all. The door of the third house from the front opened, and a lady came out, wearing a kimono, probably married, and seeing her lock the door, she was undoubtedly the owner of that house.After the lady passed by her, Rinko also left Naoe's house and got into the elevator.But the lady from just now is gone. In the elevator, Lunzi kept thinking: How should I explain to the dean's wife and the head nurse. She rang the doorbell, but no one seemed to be there. Although this was true, wouldn't that mean that Dr. Naoe went out on the pretext of being sick?Anyone who heard this would definitely think that Naoe was being lazy. This must never be said. Although Rinko was thinking about something that made her angry just now, she unconsciously wanted to defend Naoe. On the first floor, on the road in front of the apartment, she saw the back of the lady who had just come down from another elevator.Outside, it was probably in front of the windy lady clutching her kimono with her hands. Rinko walked slowly behind the lady.It was 2:30 in the afternoon, the lunch break had just ended, and there was still some time before dinner was ready, and the people around the residential area seemed very leisurely.After Rinko walked down the gentle slope, she came to the street, which was completely different from the apartment where Naoe lived, and it was very noisy.Two walks in from the corner of the street is a coffee shop with a pink phone on the transparent glass.Lun Yu entered the coffee shop, sat down next to the door, and ordered a cup of coffee. Although it felt very noisy inside, there were not many people there. Rinko took a sip of cold water, then got up and walked to the pink phone next to the counter.After dialing Naoe's home phone number, after a while, the call was connected.The sounds made after the phone is connected have their own characteristics. The voice of Naoe's phone sounds like crickets, which is somewhat hoarse. Rinko has heard this sound more than once. Lunzi tried to dial twice more, but still no one answered. To be on the safe side, she dialed again, but the result was the same. Rinko took the returned ten-yen change and returned to her seat. By this time, the coffee had already been served.The faint aroma of coffee wafted in front of my eyes. Did he really go out?Even if you're with other women, you won't stop answering the phone.If you don't want to see me, can you just say no?This is different from when someone knocks on the door, there is always a way to get out no matter what.Maybe it was shopping? Lunzi took a sip of coffee, maybe because of the aroma of the coffee, her mood is much calmer now than when she stood in front of the door just now. About twenty minutes later, when it was almost three o'clock, Lunzi walked to the counter again and dialed the phone number just now. The female cashier was writing something on the back of the invoice, while the waiters were standing by the counter chatting . "If there is still no answer this time, I will go back." Lunzi persuaded himself while answering the phone.Like the previous few times, the voice from the phone was still hoarse, but this time after the phone rang three times, someone suddenly answered it. "Hey, hello..." At this time, Lunzi began to doubt his ears.That's right, it was a man's voice over the phone, but it didn't quite resemble Naoe's voice. "Hey, is this Dr. Naoe's house? Is this Dr. Naoe's house?" "yes." "Is it Doctor Naoe..." The voice from the phone was indistinct, as if something was in his mouth.Not at all the sharpness that Naoe usually has. "I'm Lunzi." "Well, I can hear it." Naoe replied, but he seemed particularly lethargic. "The voice sounds weird, are you at home now?" "I called several times just now, but no one answered. Didn't you hear?" "I've been sleeping just now." I didn't hear the sound, is it true or false?Especially his unusual way of speaking made Lunzi a little worried: Is there something unspeakable? "Is anyone else with you now?" "No……" "I'm at a coffee shop not far from your apartment, I'll go to your place right now, is it convenient?" "Well, come on." "The dean's wife and the head nurse are very worried about you, so let me see how you are. Is it convenient?" "Ok." "Is there anything I need to buy?" "No." "What about wine and cigarettes?" "There are at home." "Then I'll go right away." Lunzi returned to her seat, picked up the invoice, and walked to the cashier. When Rinko entered the room, Naoe was lying on the bed.看到他穿着平时总穿的那件睡衣后，伦子想：也许确实像他说得那样，在一直睡觉吧。伦子很仔细地环视了一下屋子。屋子中央的壁炉上，和往常一样，只摆放着一些盛有半杯酒的玻璃杯、茶碗和类似于文献的复印本，并没有像是客人使用过的玻璃杯和茶碗。桌子右边堆放着杂乱无章的杂志和书，不过这在伦子看来，也已经是习以为常的事了。惟一不同的就是烟灰缸摆在床边，而且竟然只有一个烟头，真是很难得啊。水池里依旧堆满了用过的盘子和玻璃杯。就算有人来帮他清扫过，也不会是刚才的事。 “身体怎么样了？”伦子脱掉外套后，走到床边问道。 “只是有点感冒而已。”直江的声音还是有点不同寻常，话语中略带一丝倦意。 “量过体温了吗？” 直江摇了摇头。 “为什么，” “没有体温计。” “你也真是的。” 伦子突然有一种想要抱紧直江的冲动。几次按响门铃，拨通电话，但最后留绐她的却只有等待，她彻底绝望了。当时伦子非常渴望自己的整个身体都能被直江吞噬掉，而这种冲动则并不是现在才有的。从昨天开始，准确地说甚至是在十几天前就开始有这种欲望了。在等待的这段时间里，伦子的身体里燃烧着无限的激情。然而现在的伦子表现出的已不完全是冲动了。体温计都没有，直江就这样躺了整整两天。此时，她对直江表现出的是一种不分性别的怜爱。 “为什么……”伦子都不知该说些什么好，只是想说一些怨恨的话，紧紧地抱住他。只要直江对地说句话，或者向她伸出手，伦子就会立刻扑上去，刚才到底有没有女人和她同床过已不再是问题了。 "Hey." 伦子向前探着身子，将脸靠向直江。 就在这时，伦子发现真江眼里现出一种异样的目光，这一瞬间，她突然觉得直江的眼睛在闪闪发光，但那不是金属发出的那种耀眼的亮光、而是太阳落山前那种模糊的光亮。 伦子再次从正面审视了一下直江。玻璃窗户紧紧地关着，屋内只有那和煦的冬日阳光透过阳台上的白色花边窗帘柔和地照射进来，在阳光的照射下，直江的脸色显得像陶器般苍白，脸上的肉却像是被削掉了一样，眼睛虽然睁着，可目光却很迟钝，给人一种很空虚的感觉。 "What happened to you?" “啊？”直江慢慢地将视线转向伦子，茶色的瞳孔里印着伦子的表情。 “你吃什么药了吗？” "..." “还是吃药比较管用。” 伦子缩回了快要压住直江脸的身子。 “再休息几天吧。” 直江好像就等着伦子这样对他说呢，立刻就闭上了眼睛。伦子展开毛毯的上端，将他肩膀也盖好后，离开床边，去了厨房。 他刚才真的一直在休息吗？ 尽管燃烧在伦子心中的冲动还没有完全消退，可直江和别的女人在一起的那种不好的预感足已被排除，此时伦子的心情开始渐渐地平静下来。伦子脱下西服，只穿一件罩衫，开始刷洗那些被堆在水池中不镑钢架上的玻璃餐具，这里如同自家的厨房一样，非常熟悉。 洗完水池中的那些餐具后，她又开始清洗堆在壁炉上的那些东西。直江平躺着，听不到他睡眠的呼吸声，整个脸都埋在枕头里，显得很小。 “他瘦了。”伦子像是看什么稀罕东西似的，久久地凝视着直江，然后拿着那些玻璃杯走向水池。 洗完餐具，又用笤帚轻轻地打扫了一遍餐厅后，她走进了里屋。不知什么时候，直江已经翻了身，这次他脸冲着墙。 伦子把胡乱堆放在壁炉上的书整理好后放在托墓上，并把搁在床上的烟灰缸也放回了原位。地板上虽然铺着厚厚的绒毯，可到处都是灰。要是直江不睡觉的话，她想把这屋子也清扫一下，现在惟有等他起来了。伦子将床上的报纸叠好，并捡起直江掉在床边的裤子。 大概是在睡觉前脱掉的缘故吧，全棉的内裤和衬裤团成一团扔在那儿。伦子将其捡起后一一叠好，又找了一遍床底下，看还有没有东西掉在下面。 这时，突然发出了小的金属碰撞的声音，指尖碰到了一个硬邦邦的东西。 “会是什么呢…” 伦子弯下身子，往床下望去。黑乎乎的床下有一个发着白光的东西，有一本厚书那么大。伦子又摸了一下，为了确认一下是否和刚才的感觉相同，将它从床下取了出来。看上去像一本厚书的东西。原来是注射用的不锈钢盒子。 “他在自己给自己注射吗？” 医生在自己家里备有注射用的盒子这倒不是什么稀罕事，伦子用习惯性动作将其旁边的搭扣解开，打开了盒子。里面并排放着两支三毫升和五毫升注射器，边上散落着两支开了封的药水瓶。伦子拿起来仃细一看，原束是一毫升药水瓶。 “鸦片剂。”伦子读着写在药瓶上的字。没错，确实是鸦片剂。 伦子知道鸦片剂是种麻醉药，而且是特厉害的盐酸生物碱。刚做完手术时不能用这种药来控制疼痛，它只能在胆结石发作或癌细胞扩散到神经后产生非常强烈的疼痛时使用。 伦子回头看了一眼躺在珠上的直江。他的脸像死人般苍白，仍然还在睡着。 是用了这种麻醉药的缘故吗？ 伦子不由地想起刚才进屋时直江的脸色，毫无目标的迟钝眼神无疑正是注射完这种麻醉药后的症状。有时会给那些难以忍受疼痛的患者注射这种麻醉药，所以伦子很了解其症状。 可直江医生为什么也…… 如果是疼痛难忍的病，那倒不用说了。可是像感冒这样的病根本就不需要打什么麻醉药，更何况是两支。再剧烈的疼痛也不过只用一支，只有经常打后中毒的情况下，才偶尔用两支。 Could it be... 就在这一瞬间，伦子不敢再想下去了，一个可怕的念头闪过她的脑海。 如果是吸毒成瘾的话…… 伦子将手里的盒子放在地板上，开始观察直江。苍白的脸颊上薄薄地长了一层胡子，但看上去却显得很黑。It can not be!为了能从这瞬间的想像中走出来，伦子立刻将盒子放回到床底下，像是看到了什么可怕的东西似的。早知如此还是不知道的为好，一种看了不该看的东西似的不安感袭上心头，感觉自己好像做了什么无法挽救的事似的。 伦子手里拿着叠好的报纸，轻轻地站起身。就在这一瞬间，脚尖又触到了一个硬硬的东西。 “又会是什么呢？” 伦子收住脚，朝脚下望去，在被子的一端有一个发着白光的东西。她蹲下身子，将其捡了起来。原来是一个镶有金边的耳环，之所以看上去闪闪发光，是因为镶金边部分在外面。 “好像还是有人” 这时，直江依旧还在睡着。 屋里没有任何声响，除非竖起耳朵听，才能隐约听到从阳台上传来的街上嘈杂的声音。难道连呼吸声都被麻醉药给吞噬掉了吗？直江没有发出丝毫睡眠的呼吸声。 伦子手里拿着那个耳环，一直在旁边坐着。 就这样，又过了一小时，直江才醒过来，这时已经快四点了。睁开眼睛时，直江很惊讶地看着伦子，过了一会儿，仿佛才明白过来，于是慢慢地坐起身。 “睡醒了吗？” “嗯。”声音和平常一样，很低沉，不过很清楚。 “哪儿不舒服吗” "Oh Nope." “你还记得我刚才来这儿时的情形吗” 直江像是在证明自己的记忆似的，点了点头。 “是院长夫人和护士长让我来看你的。” "..." “我怎么回话好呢？” “就说我说的，没事。” 直江环视了一下床的四周。这时，伦子马上将烟和烟灰缸放到了直江的膝盖上。 “真的是感冒了吗？” 直江点燃一支烟。 “没什么别的病吧？” "..." “是非用麻醉药不可的……” 此时，直江的表情稍稍动了下。 这之前，伦子每天都能见到直江。有时白天下班后，晚上还要见面，一天就能见两次。像这次隔了一整天直到第二天才见面，还是头一回。虽说只是两天没见面，直江今天的脸色看上去很不正常。原本苍白的脸显得愈加苍白，而且眼睛也深深地陷下去，平常总是冷冰冰的表情中充满了一种令人难以揣测的不安。 “喂，你最近好像瘦了。”伦子抬头看了看坐在床上尚未完全清醒的直江，说道。 “你不用担心了。” 直江不太高兴地望着窗户，手中的烟灰燃了很长，马上就要掉下来了，伦子看到后赶快将烟灰缸放到烟灰下面。 “这是请内科医生开的感冒药。”说着，伦子把印有东方医院的药袋放在床上。 “现在就吃吗？” “不，不用了。” “除感冒外，如果哪儿还有不舒服就请告诉我。你自己是医生，应该懂吧。” “你哪儿不舒服啊？” “我哪儿都挺好的。” “你怎么这样说呢。” 直江把烟灭了，什么都没说，接着抓住了伦子的胳膊。 “不要这样。” 可直江还是想要把她抱起来。 “今天不行，你身体不好，现在不还在休息吗？” 就在伦子低下头想要摆脱时，直江已把她的罩衫掀到肩头，露出了光滑的脊背。 “千万不要，今天是院长夫人要我来的，只是让我来看看你的身体状况。” "it does not matter." “我必须得回去啦。” 尽管伦子反抗了，可她的上身已经被直江用胳膊揽在怀里。 “已经四点了吧，不早点回去告诉他们，会被误会的。” "It doesn't matter." "That……" 在直江的诱惑下，伦子也不再拒绝了。以前，即使伦子有些发烧，或由于经期没精神时，直江也还是会坚持，有时甚至会将她的手捆上，直到自己满足。不管对方怎么说，一旦开始，就无法收住了。为了欲望而不顾对方的一切，而且似乎只有当强迫伦子接受他的那一瞬间，直江才会倾注其全部精力。 “不行，回去后……” 伦子尽管在反抗，可还是被拖到了床上，罩衫的领口被解开后，从后背透过内衣可以看到胸罩的挂钩。争执之中，两人之间像举行仪式般表情都非常严肃，不过却显得很亲热。当直江用他那细长的手指抚摸伦子的胸部时，这场仪式便进入了尾声。在这之前的一切抗争似乎都是为了能拥有激情燃烧的这一刻，伦子那白晰的裸体也慢慢地融人了这一**行为之中。 尽管她认为不应该这样做，但是她的身体却没能经得起这种诱惑。难道正是因为直江心里明白这一点才故意引诱我的吗？伦子突然感到很后悔，不过这只不过是她一时的想法而已。在直扛的爱抚下，伦子的身体渐渐舒展开来，当她感觉到直江的手指在她身体上不停地滑动时，她渐渐平静下来，任凭直江抚摸。 但是，那天直江比平时性急。过去他总是用尽各种方法，兴奋地望着饥渴难耐的伦子，然后才开始他们的情事。然而那天他却像是很讨厌那些复杂的过程，让伦子感到有些突然。或许是因为她在床边久久地注视了直江的睡容，或许是因为肉体本身已经习惯了，身体的反应老实地令人有点伤感。 伦子对压在上面的直江低声说道：“今天不安全！” “真的啊！”伦子一边低声地喘着气，一边断断续续地说道。 在危险期时，伦子总是这样说。就因为是护士，所以才对生理如此了解：直江讨厌在这种时候说些多余的话，其实伦子也不喜欢。如果月经正常的话，危险期最多只有一周，惟有这段时间需要预防。因此，到现在一次都没有出过问题。 但是，今天直江却好像是没听到伦子说话一样，强行进入了她的身体。 “喂……”当身体开始沉浸于激情时，伦子的意识显得有点模糊，她很勉强地诉说道：“今天……” "It doesn't matter." "But……" 身体开始像火一样燃烧起来，已经无法停下来。伦子慢慢地闭上了眼睛，头发也一片蓬乱。真是难以想像现在被男人压在下面、兴奋无比的自已，就是刚才穿着白衣给患者把脉的那个人。伴随着喉咙里溢出的低吟，伦子渐渐坠人激情的深处。一瞬间，她似乎看到了星星在闪烁，可不久却又感觉自己是在广阔而又富有欢愉的宇宙中漂浮。 不管是直江怎样了也好，自己发出了怎样令人害羞的声音也好，还是做出了怎样的动作也好，所有这一切都消失在遥远的黑暗之中，模糊不清，那种令人感到飘飘然的时刻终于临近结束了。 “啊……”直江离开自己身体时，伦子又低低地叫了一声，这时她才恢复了正常的意识，而且这也是她第一次恢复意识，不过身体却还没有完全从那种欢愉中走出来。直江背对着她躺在一边，闭上了跟睛。看到这一切后，伦子才再次清醒过来。 "Hey…" 渗遍伦子全身的那种感觉仍然留有残余，直江能够给予她的也只有这些了。 “没事吗？今天可是最危险的。” 直江背对她，没吱声。 “要是真那样的话，可怎么办啊？” 做完情事后的伦子不论说什么都是细声细语的，而且声音很甜。 “怀孕了要堕掉我可讨厌！哎…” "Ok……" “不堕行吗？” 伦子从后面抱住了直江的背，他的背让人无法想像出他是刚剐刚做完情事的，冰凉冰凉的。 “不管发生什么事，我都会把孩子抚养成人的。” 直江慢慢地翻了个身，看着紧靠在自己身旁的伦子。 “真的是危险期吗？” “我绝对不是在说谎。” 直江仍然默默地注视着伦子，过了一会儿，好像突然感觉困了似的，闭上了眼睛。 “我该起来了。” 伦子起来后，将周围散乱的内衣都收拾在一起，然后去了餐厅。 “糟了，都四点半了。” 她慌忙将内衣和外套都穿好。这样，伦子那淫荡的部分又彻底从眼前消失了，她的这种模样变化除直江之外无人能看到。穿好衣服后，伦子走到床边说道：“你千万不要勉强自己，那样身体会受不了的。” 说着，她将身子向前探了探，微微带卷的头发也随之垂到了脸前。 “你明天去上班吧？” "Maybe……" “不能肯定吗？” “院长夫人也希望你能去。” 直江把脸埋在枕头里，点了点头。 “晚饭怎么办？” "I do not want to eat." “可是，饿了怎么办呀？要不我给你做点什么送来吧？” “不，不用了。” “那你肚子饿呀？” “饿了就叫外卖好。” “吃那些东西，对身体不好。” 伦子轻轻地给直江擦了擦出了汗的额头。 “你喝点咖啡什么的吗？” 尽管伦子说没时间了，却还在说这些悠闲的话。 “我就这样睡了。” 伦子无可奈何地站起身，拿起放在沙发上的外套，说“今天，石仓先生差点就没命了。” 半醒半睡的直扛突然睁开了眼睛。 “接近中午时分，痰堵在了喉咙里，不能呼吸了。” "and then?" “小桥医生跑过去，用吸痰器把痰及出来后，给他作了人工呼吸，才总算是没事了。当他能说出话的时候，第一个喊的就是你的名字。” "..." “那个老大爷很喜欢你吧？” “他的床头摇高了吗？” “没有，就是普通的床。” “不行，得给他换成卧式床，这样可以将身体稍微倾斜一些，不然，他还会被痰卡住的。你一定要告诉小桥。” “我不能跟他说这种事，” “没关系的，一定要转告他。” 伦子手里拿着外套，再次坐到沙发上。 “还是你明天上班后，亲自告诉他吧。” “你今天回去后，就马上告诉他。” “即使现在就回去，小桥医生也许已经不在医院了。” “那你就告诉值班医生吧，就说是我说的，一定要替我转告他。” 伦子点点头，迅速地将外套的纽扣一一系上。 “今天因为石仓先生的事，真是郁闷。” “还发生了什么事？” “就是那件让人感到怪异的事……？” 把这种事抖出来，会不会让直江感到很反感啊？伦子很犹豫。不过，她这样做是想要得到直江的怜爱。 “护士长对所有的人说你说得太不像话，所以大家都很愤怒。” 直江默默地仰望着天花板。 “不过，护士长对大家说绝对不能做那种事，我觉得她说得有点过分了。不同的场合，让护士们凭自己的良心自己做出不同的判断才是正确的。” “那你一定也很愤怒吧？” “被要求那样做的时候，确实是觉得很恶心，但是……” 虽说事情是在不断地发展变化，但如果自己亲口说出，不知从什么时候开始认为无论怎样都无所谓了，这在伦子自己看来也是很不可思议的。 “我觉得没必要那么夸张吧，闹了一个上午。” “那你肯定不反对我所说的吧？” “不是反不反对的问题，毕竟那老大爷马上就要死了，所以我觉得没必要把事情搞得那么严肃。” “你是那么说的吗？” “是啊，就因为我那样说了，所以大家才觉得我怪怪的。” “护士长跟患者说了吗？” “护士长说要提醒他家人，所以我想那老大爷以后不会再要求做那种事了。” “不，那可说不好，也许还会要求那样做的。” “可护士长说要让他家人郑重地提醒他。” “和那没关系。” "It doesn't matter?" “是啊，就算提醒他了，不也还是照样嘛。” "Why?" 直江仰头望着天花板，突然浮现出一种慈祥的目光。 “因为他马上就要死了。” "..." “对于将死之人，提醒这个是毫无任何意义可言的。” 伦子坐在沙发上，静静地看着直江的侧脸。是什么原因使得直江在此时显出一种无法形容、如此慈样的面容呢？这副面容超越一切好恶，深深地印在伦子的脑海里。虽然直江对她总是很冷淡，然面她却怎么也不能离开直江，也许就是因为这种慈祥的存在吧。 “如果要你那样做的话，你觉得应该做吗？” “其实，也不能那样说。” “但是，不是绝对讨厌，对吧？” 伦子低下头，但她还是能感觉到直江在慢慢将视线转向自己。 “那就答应他吧。” "I…" "Yes, it's you." 伦子看着自己紧紧抓着纽扣的手，就是要她用这双手去触摸