Chapter 13 Thirteen, winter field

In early winter, the days are getting shorter, and after smoking a cigarette, the sky is getting dark little by little. At four o'clock on a Sunday afternoon, the apartment was completely silent and silent.Yizhi sat quietly in the corner, with the lights turned off, staring out the window motionlessly.He could be aware that the evening twilight was closing in on him from inside and outside the house.This is a short moment of brightness before the sky completely darkens. At this time, it is at the moment of the alternation of day and night, and it is difficult to distinguish where is day and where is night.

Under the reflection of the remaining faint light, a piece of paper spread out on the table glowed white in the darkness.It was the divorce application sent by my brother-in-law two days ago, and my wife had signed and stamped it.My brother-in-law acted as a witness for him, so I also filled in the witness column.In addition, a witness is needed, and Iori has already entrusted Muraoka. As long as he also fills in his name, Iori signs and seals it, and submits it to the district government, all the procedures will be considered complete. Things were unexpectedly simple, it was surprising, and Iori was a little at a loss.After being married for seventeen years, shouldn't it be troublesome once they break up?It would be too simple and hasty to sign and stamp on such a piece of paper.

Divorce, as long as both husband and wife agree, other things become surprisingly simple.All that remains is to send this document to the district government. Compared with this, what seems troublesome is how to get to this point.There have been several incidents of this kind of trouble in the past month or so.For example, the child's household registration, child support, alimony, etc. all need to be resolved. Of course, Iori will not go back and forth alone to solve these troubles one by one.In fact, a lawyer acquaintance and brother-in-law had arranged these things for him.The two children followed their wives without any objection; the lawyer said that the amount of alimony was also reasonable, and the other party had no objection.Besides, Yizhi knew that this matter was wrong, so she couldn't care about it.He can only walk silently along the track paved for him by others.

A car with its engine running has no reason to stop.Iori also knew that this kind of statement was somewhat irresponsible, but he still thought that he was just sitting in that car. Iori made his own decision, reached an agreement after negotiation, and then evolved into the current situation. Somehow, Iori thought the breakup was someone else's business.Unknowingly, he forgot that he was getting a divorce.After negotiating all the things, when only signatures and seals were left, Iori felt a sense of emptiness. Thinking that everything would be settled after signing and stamping, Iori felt a sense of regret.He couldn't even pick up the pen, and looked out the window absently.

The sky was getting darker, only there was light around Yizhi, he was still sitting motionless on the chair and looking out the window, the night was about to take advantage of the gap.In this quiet evening, only a piece of white paper floated in front of my eyes.Write the husband's name in the left column and the wife's name in the right column.The wife has already filled it out and stamped it.At the bottom right, there are notices such as "The signature must be written by the person himself" and "Please use your own private seal". The wife originally did not have her own seal.As far as ordinary couples are concerned, very few wives have private seals.It is a bit ridiculous to ask to use a private seal here.The wife seems to have stamped the "Iori" hand stamp that she has always used.Iori may only be able to use the Zhengyin at hand.The same word "Iori" is stamped with different seals, which can be regarded as a reminder: from now on, you will become strangers.

There is also a column below that says "divorce category", probably because the brother-in-law stamped a circle on the place where "divorce by agreement".Seeing this, Iori thought like a bystander: "Ah, that's right, it's an agreed divorce!" At the bottom, there are also columns for "Names of Minor Children" and "Children under Mother's Custody", which are filled with Mariko. , Miko's name.The adjacent column for "Son of Father's Custody" is left blank. Iori has no objection to the fact that both children live with their wives.Besides, it is reasonable for young children to live with their mothers, but when Iori saw the blank column under his name, he realized again that the children had also left him.What would the kids think?They might think that he is an irresponsible father, and people like him have nothing to do with them.Or, they also know how to treat the divorce between their parents as a different matter, still regard him as the father who is connected by blood, and keep a little love in their hearts.

Until the current formal agreement was reached through negotiation, Iori never saw the two children again.Only once on the phone, he said: "Although I broke up with your mother, I am still your father." At that time, he asked his eldest daughter and second daughter to listen to the phone separately, and told them this sentence one by one.But the two remained silent.I don't know if they are crying or making a silent protest. Is there really a reason for the children to be separated in silence?At this point, he had to think that he was the only one who felt anxious and impatient, cutting off his righteousness.

A window in the far building was lit.As if the moment had been appointed, the other windows lit up one after another.Night finally fell.In this way, it is not so much from dusk to night as it is the light that attracts the night. The divorce application should be signed and stamped today, and sent to the lawyer.This document, which was supposed to be submitted by myself, is said to be delivered by others.The procedure is so simple  is it possible to use the hands of others to force a divorce?Iori looked at the paper again strangely. Although Iori knew that everything would be over after signing and stamping, his body was still sitting quietly by the window in the dark night, meditating. He couldn't figure out what was going on with his lazy mood.

Divorce started because of oneself, and running away from home also started by oneself.At that time, he had clearly told his wife about the "breakup" opinion, and at the same time explained his feelings to his brother-in-law.But until now, the other party agreed, but he was a little at a loss.It's not that he changed his original intention, but that the matter has come to this point, even if he returns to his wife, the relationship that has been destroyed cannot be restored as before.Divorce is an established fact and cannot be changed.Iori knew this, but he still couldn't cheer up.

"What's wrong with me……" Iori muttered to himself, thinking of Shengzi. When he ran away from home, the image of Shengzi was still clearly visible in his mind.At that time, the goal of living with Shengzi after breaking up with his wife was established.But now, Sheng Ziren has long since left, like a wild beast running wildly in pursuit of its prey, inadvertently letting the prey escape, and suddenly falling into an unmanageable confusion.Although Iori was not like this, he couldn't get rid of the feeling of remorse that he threw into the sky. Owning a sheng was the biggest reason for looking forward to divorce before this.It is precisely for this purpose that I look forward to life after divorce, but now I have lost this most critical purpose.When I was eagerly looking forward to it, the divorce case was difficult. Today, once the dream will become a reality, Shengzi has already left.Is the wife waiting for such an opportunity to satirize herself?

If Shengzi came back to him, he might be in a different state of mind at this moment.But after all, in the past six months, the enthusiasm for Shengzi has also weakened a lot.If Shengzi was by his side now, he wondered if he would still have the confidence to marry her.In the past six months, he has indeed transferred his love for Shengzi to Xia.Having said that, the specific idea of ​​getting married with Kasumi never crossed Iori's mind. Sheng Zi's departure is so impressive.He used to worry.However, as expected, on the second day after leaving the apartment, Shengzi went to the office. She greeted everyone, handed over the work, packed her belongings, and left.She went there knowing that Iori was not in the office, and said, "I talked to the director last night, and I made an agreement with him." It is said that the reason for her resignation was "I am old, and my mother in the country is not in good health and often falls ill, so..." Iori had never heard her mention that her mother was ill, and not long ago, he had spoken with her mother on the phone.Obviously, this is a random reason Sheng Zi made up. The staff in the office seemed to be discussing in private, thinking that she and Iori had an awkward relationship, and some people said that she was getting married, and Shengzi didn't let them see her frustration at the time.It is wonderful to say that it is wonderful, and Sheng Zi's acting skills are unexpectedly wonderful. But what shocked Yizhi even more was Shengzi's resolute attitude without hesitation.For the man she once loved so much, she was able to leave quietly without seeing him for the last time.Even if she was at fault, her approach was too ruthless. Although Iori had known for a long time that women were more determined than men when they broke up.But to be honest, he really didn't expect Shengzi to be so ruthless.Once she hates the other party, she doesn't even look straight at him.It may be that the torture she suffered before making this decision was too deep. Once she decided to break up, she would leave so resolutely. Judging from the resolute and decisive attitude of women, men appear to be indecisive.The man said "I don't love you, I don't want to see you anymore", but it didn't take long before the woman called again and started visiting her again, even dating her.He should have made up his mind long ago, but as long as a woman acts coquettishly to him, the man will soften his heart.Therefore, a gentle woman is more ruthless than any hard-hearted man when breaking up. It's not a matter of good or bad or right and wrong, maybe just a difference between men and women.The stronger a woman's love for the moment, the quicker she wakes up than a man when she wakes up.Instead of describing this phenomenon as a woman's ruthlessness, it is better to understand it as a posture they must adopt.Because they will not survive if they give up halfway through their gender roles with tasks such as pregnancy and childbirth. Since then, Yizhi has called Shengzi many times, but she stubbornly refused.In his desperation, he was very aggrieved and said strange things, and blamed Shengzi.Unexpectedly, he was taught by her instead.She said, "Please. Please don't make me hate you more by saying this." "I still love you until now, for this reason, please save this love and break up." After Yi Zhijing said this, she couldn't hold her face anymore.Even if there is infinite attachment in my heart, I can't help but let it go, and give up in despair.This is the reserve of a man.Even if he is full of regrets, he still can't cling to her without thinking about his face. Yizhi only compared Shengzi with Xia after suffering, even though it was a bit ridiculous.Xia is more talkative than Shengzi, even when she is annoyed, she can sometimes forgive others. For a week after that incident, Xayah remained silent and said nothing.In the end, Iori couldn't speak, and didn't dare to say anything.After a while, about five days after Shengzi left completely, Iori called Kasumi for the first time. "How are you……" Iori asked anxiously. "Very well," she replied nonchalantly. "Are you still angry about the past?" "What's the matter?" She knew it well, but pretended not to know it, and Yizhi naturally understood that her anger had not subsided.Because they didn't speak face to face, Iori couldn't take care of face and defended desperately on the phone.He repeatedly explained that  that woman had resigned and left, and it didn't matter anymore. She really came to work at that time.Moreover, it was just drinking coffee and talking in the room...Iori didn't know what would happen if Shengzi forgave him, but in fact they only talked about resigning, so it's not called a work meeting lie.That night, there was no improper relationship between him and Shengzi, so he can explain it like this without shame. He didn't know how much Xia had listened to his explanations.Maybe after listening to a big man's desperate defense, her heart softened, so a week after the phone call, she finally came to Tokyo. Reunited again after half a month, it is not clear whether she still trusts him in her heart. "I misread you..." When they met, Xia looked at him and said something out of the blue.It can be seen from her eyes that she already has the intention to forgive him.Iori thanked and apologized repeatedly.He made up his mind that no matter what happened to Shengzi, Xia would definitely forgive him. Shengzi and Xia have different temperaments.There are reasons for this, as well as the age gap.There are two of them, one is a celibate girl and the other is a married woman.Take the incident that happened earlier. Xia was in the house, not a visitor.Although the rare good thing was messed up halfway, disappointment was inevitable, but she was in the same boat with Yizhi after all. As soon as Shengzi opened the door, she felt something was wrong, and turned around without even entering the room. Naturally, she and Xia received different degrees of shock.In that situation, if Xia was in Shengzi's position, she would not forgive him easily after only half a month. There is a red light flashing above the tall building, which may be the indicator light of the route.With a cigarette in his mouth, Iori stared at the flickering light above. The intercom rang, and he looked at his watch, and the hour hand turned five o'clock. "is it okay?" Like last time, Xayah leaned forward and looked into the room anxiously and asked. She probably thought that Yizhi had other women besides Shengzi, so even though he said he had broken up with Shengzi, she locked the lock and even pulled the latch when she entered the house. "There's no need for that, it's okay!" "unreliable." Xia took off her shoes, turned around and tidied up, and entered the study. "What's wrong, so dark?" "It's okay, a little..." He couldn't tell her that he was reading the divorce paper in a trance just now, so he could only hesitate. "It's like being in a cellar." While talking, Xia walked over and turned on all the lamps one by one.Iori hurriedly put the divorce papers on the table into a drawer. "Aren't you taking a nap?" "No, I'm awake!" Under the light, he saw that Qingxia was wearing a lavender piqué floral crepe kimono with a navy blue sash.Based on past experience, Kasumi always wears kimonos when she has plenty of time, and suits when she is short on time.Judging from her outfit today, it shows that she has spare time. "Let's go out to eat together!" To get out of the divorce depression, it's best to get outside.But Xia Xia didn't seem very enthusiastic. "I don't care, what about you?" As Xia said, she took the anemone and walked towards the pool. "Can I arrange flowers?" She never asked him these things before, and every time she interrupted the matter quietly.Asking this question today may be the sequelae left over from that night.Looking at Kasumi's back standing by the pool, Iori asked, "What time do you go back today?" "You can live here today." Xia smiled mischievously and said, "It's better not to be hit by anyone, I'd better go home." "Didn't I tell you, she's gone!" Yizhi has told her several times, but she still seems to care about Shengzi.Kasumi put the anemone in a small Bizen vase and placed it on the table. "Hey, isn't that a bad style?" There are three cut short flowers on the flower arrangement dish, some are red and some are yellow. "Red with yellow, isn't it weird?" Hearing what she said, it really seemed that the color was not harmonious. Compared with the calm tone of the vase in front of the window, it seemed too fancy. "Today, I want to match it like this no matter what. The red one represents a young and beautiful girl, and the yellow one represents a middle-aged wife who is extremely jealous." "Why are you still talking like this..." She probably used red as a metaphor for Shengzi, and yellow for herself.Iori felt a little annoyed by her brooding. "Compared in this way, it doesn't feel so weird." "Stop talking!" Hearing Iori's reprimand, Kasumi put the flower arrangement dish on the empty partition of the decoration cabinet. "I decided not to be so infatuated with you in the future." Iori didn't understand what she meant, and tilted his head to listen to her. "Is that good?" She then walked to the sink and threw the remaining flower branches into the plastic bucket. "Because if you take it too seriously, you will quarrel. Keeping a distance from each other is for the good of both of you." "You mean don't be serious?" "Yes, like you, appropriately..." She said "not obsessed" and "keep a distance", there is a sound behind the strings, but can she really do what she says?Would her body immediately follow suit?So, tell her to take off her clothes now, and after hugging, kissing, and bonding with her, see if she can say "keep a distance" again?Seeing Xia Chengjing's face, Iori gradually felt passionate. Iori put down the cup and stood directly in front of Kasumi. "come over……" "do what?" "sleep." Xia was suddenly grabbed by the hand, and was stunned in a daze. "hurry up……" "You are so weird, why suddenly..." Iori ignored her, grabbed Xia's hand and pulled her into the bedroom. "Undress!" Although Xayah was puzzled by the man's sudden brutality, she turned around briskly and began to undress. Can a woman keep a distance from a man if she promises her body? Once a woman's body is combined, it will either burst into passion or die in cold ashes, the two must be one of them.But it is impossible to adjust flexibly from person to person.This is the beauty of a woman's body, which is incomparable to a man.For many years, Iori has known the female body in this way, and believed that a mature female body can fully revel in pleasure without any tricks. Xia said that in the future, she should keep her distance and get along appropriately.What she meant was that she was too specific in the past, and she should adjust appropriately in the future. I can't let her do whatever she wants... Iori was already anxiously waiting on the bed.Xia said to keep her distance, she must get rid of her arrogance. I don't know if Xia knows how he feels.When she took off only a long gown, she slowly came up from one end of the bed as usual.She lifted the quilt, stretched her waist and just pressed against Yizhi, Yizhi suddenly pulled her over and hugged her into her arms. Xayah let out a low groan for a moment, but then she was pushed face up on the bed.Iori couldn't help but press Kasumi's right hand under her shoulder, hold down her other hand, and fondle her breasts.Xia panicked and twisted her upper body in pain, but Iori never let go.Iori caressed Kasumi's open breasts with her lips as she wished, and then reached her lower part with her hands. "Ah, ah..." Xia let out a groan that she didn't know whether it was pain or pleasure.Her upper body bounced like a fish, and her silky skin bumped happily upwards. Yizhi is now determined to be an executor of punishment.If she can still say things that are distanced and appropriate, say so!It is unforgivable to say such a slight.He will try his best to attack and push her into the bottomless abyss of happiness.In the past, she was willing to fall into the abyss of love, but now she will never allow her to be pampered. The enforcer calculated the time to fully punish her and invaded Xayah's body.The real punishment is yet to come, and this is just the beginning. "OK?" Iori pressed Kasumi tightly against her chest and asked. For men, sex is not only pleasure, but also a means of self-confirmation.Ask "How is it?" and confirm "Is it great?" Only after hearing the affirmative response does the man feel satisfied.Seeing that he has indeed brought her to a peak and fulfilled her, a man increases his confidence that what he is doing is not in vain.If, unfortunately, there is no answer from the woman, even a meager physical one, then the man's sweaty efforts will be in vain, leaving only a stupid emptiness. At this moment, Iori repeatedly confirmed Kasumi's reaction time and time again, asking questions from both physical and verbal aspects, and all of them got answers. At first, it was not easy for Xayah to answer because of her shyness.But as it progressed, she slowly became obedient, and even blurted out quite nasty words along with Iori's questioning.Of course, the words spoken by the woman submerged in the vortex of pleasure when she was in a coma were not the natural language of a normal waking state anyway.However, Iori still forced Xia repeatedly to get her used to saying such words. Eloquence in love is not a promise.Especially what the satisfied woman said at that moment was not reliable at all.Even knowing this, people often still have to talk about it for a brief moment. "Do you know what you just said?" After the passionate ecstasy, everything calmed down, and Iori asked Kasumi as a joke. "what?" "Don't remember?" At this moment, Xia is still immersed in the joy of the flesh, with a relaxed and lazy appearance. "It's very good of you to say, great." Iori bit her ear and repeated to Kasumi what she had just shouted. "what……" Xia turned her face away in embarrassment, but Yizhi pursued her relentlessly. "Hey, you made it very clear! You also said that you will never leave me, and..." Xia buried her face in the bed sheet shyly, Iori ignored her and continued, "See if you still say something about keeping your distance and being appropriate." After the love affair ended, Iori used words to make jokes, and only then did Iori feel that his revenge should come to an end.But that doesn't mean he's actually won as a man. Just now, when Xia was gasping for sex, she replied "I love you" and "Never separate".Iori heard it clearly, and repeatedly asked "Is that so?" But now when the matter was over and she came to confirm this, she said as if nothing happened: "Because it was like that at that time."She was simply saying that she said that because of the close skin and skin, and hugging each other for joy. Sure enough, if you don't do such a thing, you won't say such a thing?Xia may say, "What you said just now is the answer of love, not my answer."There are two women in my heart, and one of them is addicted to love, so he said those words casually. "However, just now, there is no feeling of keeping a distance." Iori taunted her with words again. "So excited, I probably can't communicate properly!" "Did I ever say that?" "I've said it, it's very clear. You said, in the future, we will communicate appropriately and appropriately." "That's not it!" Iori still couldn't figure out which words were the truth.Is Xia who said to keep a distance and communicate appropriately?Or is it true that Kasumi, who swore never to be separated when she indulged in sex, is real? "I don't think you were lying just now!" "Of course!" "Then which one is true?" "I do not know either." Xia seemed troubled, curled up in the sheets.According to her logic, whether she muttered that she could not be separated or declared "keep a distance", it was her true expression.The question is not which words are true, the key is that there are two kinds of female roles coexisting in this woman Xia. "I see……" What Xia seems to mean is that the happiness of love belongs to the happiness of love, and ordinary communication is another matter, and an appropriate distance should be kept.These two are not contradictory in Xia's body, they coexist at the same time. "no?" "No, I didn't say that!" As Iori replied, he felt that his own essence had been wiped out.Seeing him remembering, Xia asked dissatisfiedly: "Are you going to wake up?" Iori reached out and turned on the lamp on the bedside table. "Go get something to eat, I'm hungry." "Well, please, turn off the lights!" After following her to turn off the light, Xiashi turned her back like a temper. "You are so ridiculous, why are you hungry, hey." "I didn't eat anything!" "It's better to be hungry, I don't feel it." Iori hung his arms out of the bed without saying a word.Xia approached gently. "Just stay like this for a while." Xia seems to be more happy to just lie on the bed like this, enjoying the aftertaste of love, and doesn't care about eating or not.However, Iori's head was clear, and he was shocked by the way he teased Kasumi just now.As a result, Xayah gained happiness.He originally planned to punish her, but he became the target of punishment halfway. When he realized this, fatigue had spread throughout his body. Iori once again realized that a woman's body is so focused on enjoying pleasure that she fears its persistence. "It's so quiet!" Kasumi put her head on Iori's chest and muttered.Iori nodded, but still felt a little hungry.Although the two bodies are firmly bonded together, the man and woman have their own thoughts in their hearts. "Hey, how do you spend the Chinese New Year? Are you planning to go home?" "No, it's right here." During the Chinese New Year last year, from the 30th day of the new year to the second day of the junior high school, Iori went home.However, this year's New Year, there is no such need.Iori remembered the half-signed divorce papers. "Here, alone?" "Just find a restaurant and go there to celebrate the New Year." Although the couple divorced, it was still too lonely to stay alone in the apartment for the New Year. "Can I still reserve a room now?" "I want to look around Izu and Boso." "Hey, let's make it to Izu! I will also go in the third year of junior high school." Xayah suddenly said in an excited tone.Iori reached out and turned on the desk lamp again. "It's Chinese New Year, can you come out?" "I originally planned to go to my mother's house in the third grade of junior high school. If I meet you, I won't go." During the first three days of Chinese New Year, it was indeed too lonely to live alone in a restaurant.It would be great if Xia could come to accompany him for a day. "Can I stay overnight?" "Spend the night fine." "But, in this case, you won't be able to see your natal family, will you?" "It's okay, if you want to see them, you can go home anytime." It shouldn't matter, she thought.Xayah seems to have grown bolder since her trip to Europe. "Then the most urgent thing is to find a hotel immediately." "It's such a pleasure to be able to date you at the beginning of the new year!" Kasumi put her face close to Iori's chest again.When I touched her messy hair, I felt itchy all over my body.While brushing her long hair away, Iori said softly to her: "Get up..." "..." As if she didn't hear, Xia buried her face in his chest and remained motionless.The faint light drew a circle around it, and only the sound of the electronic clock ticked regularly. Iori still decided to get up.One is that his mind has cleared up, and the other is that his passion is exhausted, and he doesn't even have the strength to hug her.After a woman is satisfied, the aftertaste is like waves, continuous.After the man is done, he quickly shrinks down.It might be better when I was young, Iori's age, he no longer has the greed to continuously burst out passion. Iori quietly pulled out the arm that was under Kasumi's head, sat up, put on a long gown over her underwear, and walked to the living room.He changed his clothes there and saw Xia get up too.Iori ignored her and lay on the sofa alone watching TV.After about thirty minutes, Xia appeared.At this time, she was fully dressed and her hair was evenly tied. "It's not even eight o'clock yet!" "Want to go eat something?" "Now……" Xia looked shocked.Indeed, going to dinner after having sex seems to have reversed the procedure. "Since I came here, you've been talking about going to dinner." That's not the case, it's just that after the passion, the stomach has never been satisfied. "Isn't it okay to have a good meal together once in a while?" Looking back, I hardly ever went out to dinner with Xia recently.Always go to bed as soon as we meet, and stay until the time of breaking up.They seldom had a decent conversation face to face in a bright place.Of course, Yizhi didn't want to do this, and it was just to accommodate Xia, which caused such a result.After Xia arrived in Tokyo, she had to go home in two or three hours, so she didn't want to spend time on eating. "How about eating Japanese food?" "I don't care. If you really want to eat, I will accompany you." Even though Kasumi said so, Iori didn't intend to force her to go out.Speaking of it, Xia seems to prefer the two of them staying in a hidden room rather than being watched by the public. "Then let's drink something!" Iori stood up and poured a bottle of sherry from the wine rack. "When will you work this year?" "It was originally planned to end on the 28th. But this year, it may end on the 30th." "Me too, maybe I won't be able to meet you this year." Indeed, as a married woman, she may have a hard time enjoying love in the busy and chaotic year of the year. "However, as soon as the New Year is over, we will be able to date and meet again soon, which is okay." Kasumi put her hand on Iori's lap inadvertently. "This year is really a good year..." Xia whispered, her hand quietly moved inward on Iori's lap.Iori held the glass of wine in one hand without moving, and once again a surge of passion surged up. "It's only been a year since I met you and we can go to Nara and Europe together!" After getting to know Kasumi, Iori felt that a long time had passed, but in fact it was not a year. Even so, while the two were talking now, the woman's hand rested calmly on the man's lap.This level of unsuspecting intimacy, should it mean that they are already very much in love with each other, or is it because of the strong lust in middle age? "Will you still love me next year?" "certainly." "Then you can wait for me until number three." While Xia begged him, her hand gradually extended to the middle part at the same time. "If you give it to another woman, I won't do it!" The words that Kasumi said while tracing movements with her fingers, were not so much instructing Iori, but more like instructing his male body. "Do not worry!" When Iori answered her, he was surrounded by a strange feeling, but it was not to the point of courtship again. "Ai, ai..." When Iori pressed her hand as if admonishing a naughty child, Kasumi realized something, her cheeks flushed. It's really hard to say who's wrong.Kasumi's hand did gradually approach the middle of Iori's thigh naturally. Yes, Xayah has never been so lewd.When Iori first met Kasumi, not only would she not touch that place, she would even shy away from putting her hands on his lap. "Give me another drink!" Xayah, seemingly no longer wishing to relive love, raised her glass. "Would you like brandy?" "No, wine will do." "That has stamina!" "real?" With an expression of ignorance, Xia suddenly thought of something and said, "To be honest, really, aren't you going home for the Chinese New Year?" After Iori changed the drink in his hand from wine to brandy, he replied: "Even if I want to go back, I can't go back. It's hard to go home!" "Say this kind of thing, you are making trouble with yourself." Iori suddenly felt that this was a good opportunity to confess. "Actually, I'm getting a divorce." "No way, are you kidding me?" "There's no need to joke with you about things like this." Kasumi looked at Iori carefully. "Why are you taking this step?" "Why? Because I can't go on!" "Don't divorce!" Xayah put the cup in her hand on the table and said bluntly. "It's the same whether you leave or not!" "Same?" "Isn't it good now? Divorced, even if you marry someone else, the result is still the same." "I didn't do it to combine with someone..." "That's even more unnecessary. Leave." Indeed, a divorce without the goal of remarrying may really be pointless.Because in this way, only the negative impact of divorce can be left behind.But the matter has come to this point, and it is irreversible.The wife has also signed the divorce papers, so how can I stop now. "However, there is really no way to be with a woman you hate." Xia probably thought that this was the biggest reason for the current situation, but she persuaded him, "Even if you don't like being separated, you can still do whatever you want. There's no need to do that." "That's why it feels bad." "But does your wife complain about it?" She may have complained about this, but she never heard his wife's request to break up. "The reason why you want to divorce is that you really want to marry that secretary?" "That's not the case." Yizhi hit the nail on the head with what she said, and hurriedly denied it, but Xia persisted and continued: "Although I don't love your wife, it seems that you don't look like the kind of person who wants to divorce just because of this." A woman's intuition is really sharp.It is true that Iori will not decide to divorce just because of his indifference to his wife.Yizhi is neither so stubborn nor so innocent. "If you don't get a divorce, isn't it more cost-effective like now?" "Good deal?" "Over forty years old and living alone, this kind of person always makes people feel lonely and lonely." "..." "As it is now, wife is still wife, wouldn't it be nice to play with me properly?" "I'm not going to play..." "I didn't mean to say these things to satirize you. It's just that I think it will make you feel more relaxed." Iori has always believed that Kasumi is a wife with a superior life, and she hardly cares about human relationships and love between men and women in the world.As the saying goes, she is a married woman raised in a deep boudoir.I really didn't expect that she could say such serious words, and every word was unexpected and hit the point. "To be honest, it's better not to go this way when it comes to divorce." "At this point, if you want to stop, you can't stop." "However, divorce can't be done emotionally." Iori was very annoyed, and was hit by her words one by one.He added brandy and continued to drink, and then said: "I said, don't you want to marry me?" “什么？开玩笑……” “这可不是开玩笑。我是认真在考虑这事儿。” “作那个人的替身？” "..." “我讨厌作别人的替身。” “我从开始就没打算和她结婚。如果有打算，也不会和你上欧洲去玩了。” “你那会儿该不是和她玩腻了吧？” 霞的话语依然那样地切中要害，伊织感到自己只剩下一味防守的份儿。 自从那一次偶遇以来，两人的位置似乎发生了微妙的转换。也许是心理作用的缘故吧，伊织竟觉得霞是游刃有余而自己处于被动。 “我已经想把她忘了。” 在道理上是没法取胜了，如今也只好低下头。 “无论如何，我现在最爱的人是你呀！” "me too." 霞出乎意料简单明了地回答，伊织从中得到了勇气。 “如果可以的话，我只想和你结婚。” “谢谢了，听你这么说，我真高兴。” 霞浅浅地抿了口酒。 “可是，你一定会烦我的。兔子尾巴长不了。” “哪能呢！” 伊织加重口气说道。霞却不予理睬地轻轻地摇了摇头，“你这种不断求新的人，是永远不会只面对一个女人的。” “那你是不是说，我是那种轻浮而不可救药的男人。” “不过，这也正是你最棒的地方，做丈夫不行，做情人却是最好的。” 霞的话都说到了这份上，伊织无言以对，只好默默地继续喝白兰地。 霞站起来的时候，是已经又过了三十分钟之后。 “还是回家吗？” 刚到的时候，霞说过今晚可以在这儿过夜。 “我没问题，不过我女儿在等我回去呢！” "Where's your husband?" 伊织借着酒劲儿，得寸进尺地问她。 “那个人，一天到晚工作，几乎总不在家。” 以前也听霞这么说过，但看她先前急急忙忙回家去的样儿，也许是口是心非。 “我女儿，她想见你一面。” “她知道我们的事？” “虽然不是很清楚，不过可能也有感觉吧！” “那样行吗？” "Then what to do?" 知道母亲和别的男人幽会，女儿也能保持沉默吗？如今，年轻女孩子的心理真让人闹不懂。可是霞却毫无慌乱之态。 “她见过你一面，那是在机场。她还说了，是个不错的人。” 是的，去欧洲旅行的时候，她们先到的机场，霞说，她看见过他们在那儿说话。 “她想和我见面做什么？” “一定是感兴趣呗，正当年呀！” 虽说是女儿，伊织记得听霞说过不是她亲生的，只和她丈夫有血缘关系。 “你好像说过，是大学生吧。” “刚满十九岁。你对那种年轻的孩子有兴趣吗？” "No, no." "Really……" 可能想起笙子的事，霞露出怀疑的眼神。不过，老实说，伊织对二十左右的女孩不感兴趣。那些女孩虽然年轻，但年龄相差太大，谈不来。而且，她们过于幼稚，男人太累。伊织还是钟意于二十五岁以上的女性。 “那我回去了。” 霞想起了什么似的走向房门口。 “这么说，今年也许就见不着面了，过个好年。” “你也是……” “初三那天真行，对吧？不过，在那之前，给我打电话。” 霞提醒他一句，然后打开了门。 霞走后，伊织躺在沙发上。他的心情交织着情爱之后的倦怠以及白兰地的醉意，很觉舒服。稍不注意，他就可能这样朦朦胧胧地睡去。 他没感觉到，再过几天，这一年就要结束了。一闭上双眼，笙子的形象就浮现在脑海里。那以后，不知道她怎么样了？What are you doing?再也没有她的消息。和霞巧遇的第二天，笙子到事务所去办了工作交接，两天后搬出了公寓，就像是电光火石，风驰电掣地走得无影无踪。 此后，她寄了一封信到事务所里来，内容是一般的客套话。单看这封信，谁也不会想得到他们有过长达四年的男女之情。信寄出的地址是长野，可以推测，她在娘家。伊织没给她打电话。因为他想，她走得如此干脆利落，他实在没心思打电话，而且即使打了电话，她也不会再来破镜重圆。 “笙子已经不在了……” 那一个月，是伊织反反复复跟自己念叨这件事的一个月。伊织起初有难以言喻的懊丧和遗憾，有时甚至生起气来。最近好不容易说服了自己，“这事也实在是无奈，由她去吧。”心里开始断念了。 但是，也有时候笙子还是鲜活地出现在眼前。他会突然之间想起，笙子那瞬间哀伤的表情和她那包在紧身裙下小巧而有弹性的臀，一切都显得那么活灵活现。与霞作爱之后他还想起了这些事情，真是对霞的亵渎。刚刚还是美女在怀，她前脚刚走马上就想起别的女人，也未免太缺德。 然而，也许正是因为与霞做爱后得到了满足，所以反而会想到笙子。话说起来虽然难听，打个比方，也许就像是尝过了味道浓厚的东西后，反而怀念清淡的口味。 这样一比，也许霞就像西餐，而笙子就像是日餐。霞近来空前积极热心于情爱，让伊织感到吃惊。她虽未改谨小慎微的天性，但一旦上了床，就像突然间变了个人似地奔放，令人怀疑是否真是那个谨言慎行的妇人。也许是因为在这种强烈的刺激下得到满足的缘故，他又不由自主地怀念起笙子稚气尚存的肉体。 “别瞎想了……” 伊织自语着，像是要赶跑脑袋里的邪念，他再次走进书房。他坐在点亮了灯的书桌前，像见到什么可怕的东西似的，慢慢吞吞地打开抽屉，拿出了那张离婚书。即使现在签了字再拿回来，办完正式的手续也要到明年了。虽然并不是说这样不吉利，但是，新年伊始就离婚，总让人心里不好受。既然事情已经到了这一步，迟一二天也是一样。这样看来，还不如过完年后寄回去。 伊织之所以替自己找了这么多的理由，主要原因就是不想在离婚书上签字。他心里想离婚，同时却又想尽量保持现状。 他心里同样知道，这种困惑的心绪归根到底是由于年龄的缘故。 这样的事，如果发生在二十岁上下时，也许会吹着口哨三两下就已签好。三十岁，在文书送达的当天就可能签上字。而如今，年已四十过半，自然少了那份洒脱，反反复复思量起自己的子女以至反对离婚的老母亲，心里千头万绪。本以为从决定离婚的时候起，所有的这一切早已得到解决，谁曾想到，一纸离婚书放在面前时，自己竟如此迷茫。 妻子竟然真签了字。她也许曾经烦心苦恼，但下定了决心，竟能这么轻松地签字。她用楷书在规定的栏内，整整齐齐、大大方方地填上了“伊织扶佐子”几个字。从她的字迹上看，伊织觉察不到困惑和胆怯。 到底是女人厉害……笙子也好，妻子也罢，女人在离去的时候都干脆利落。此前她们曾经哭喊，或者慌乱无措，然而一旦决断，她们便义无返顾。也许在决断的那一瞬间，女人成为完全拥有另一种人格的人了。 “喂，懦夫。” 伊织骂自己道。总是这么愁眉苦脸，思来想去，像个女人。不，甚至比女人更加女人气。 “勇敢点！” 伊织又说了一句，干咳了一声，拿起笔，一笔一划地认真填写上去。“伊织祥一郎”，他写完了这几个字后，又盖上印章，长叹了一口气。 所有的一切都结束了，把这张纸装到信封里送回去，妻子就从此成为陌路人。他虽然认为应该如此，但同时又感到像是铸成了大错。现在他感到轻松，似乎从沉重的枷锁中解放出来，但同时又感到，丢掉麻烦以后，反而有些空虚。伊织怀着不平静的心情回到了客厅，斟上白兰地，仰颈而饮，醉意很快传遍全身。 “我就一个人了……” 他自言自语的同时，突然萌生了往家里打电话的冲动。过去他一直想，和将要分手的妻子主动搭话很难为情，而且也不应当那样做，但现在趁着酒劲签了离婚书，心情反而格外轻松。 “成了别人就别人吧，没什么不好。” 伊织随便给自己找了个理由，拨了电话号码。他以为是孩子会来接的，话筒里却传出妻子的声音。 “哎，是我……” 伊织说，妻子好像小声地应了一声。 “过得好吗……” 伊织说完，自己也感到这种问法实在奇怪，大吃一惊。 “过年怎么打算？” 脱口问出了这么一句，这也正是一直想问的内容之一。 “回娘家。” 妻子的娘家在仙台，每年寒暑假都回去，所以孩子们也已经习惯了。 "when to go?" "the day after tomorrow." “这么早！” 伊织刚想说又住了嘴。妻子也罢孩子也好，都已经是离开了自己的人了，自己已经没有权力说三道四。 “过年可能有寄给我的明信片，你们不在家，我可以去取吗？” "Please." 妻子的话语依然冷淡。伊织也赌气似的故作平静地说道：“那个，签好了，很快就能寄到。” "Understood." "goodbye……" 他想等着妻子的责骂或者哭闹，然而妻子却干脆地挂断了电话。伊织于是一边后悔刚才打这电话，一边又开始喝起了白兰地。 伊织在四谷附近的饭店里订到了房间，时间从除夕的晚上开始。他原本打算定在伊豆或房总附近暖和的地方，可在他觉得合适的地方，住房早已经被抢订一空。 虽然找也能找得着，但是考虑到初三和霞的幽会，到底还是呆在东京方便一些。 新年的头三天里，东京的各家饭店里都是人满为患。伊织偶然知道四谷饭店，所以试试看，结果总算在除夕当天订到一间双人间。 近来有许多人选择在饭店过新年。除夕那天六点，伊织到达饭店一看，大厅里挤满了拖家带口的住客。孩子们可能很久都没有到过这么热闹华丽的地方，高兴地到处乱跑，有的孩子甚至就坐在地毯上。 伊织办完了住宿手续后，自己拎着皮包一个人进了房间。虽然打算新年的三天都呆在这儿，但伊织也没什么可准备。除了睡衣、内衣、替换的夹克、长裤以及塞到包里的五六本爱读的书之外，别无他物。他把装满了这些杂物的皮包往行李架上一扔，仰面躺在床上，感到大厅里那一幕熙熙攘攘的场景就像是谎言一般虚空。他不敢相信今天是除夕，这一年就这样结束了。他有一种错觉，以为是还在工作，住进了饭店。 稍稍休息了一下后，伊织洗了个淋浴，七点钟时，走到楼上的餐厅用餐。无论是西餐、中餐还是日餐，到处都是拖家带口来吃饭的人们。 伊织为了避开这些人群，到了相对空闲的地下烤肉店去吃晚饭。那儿也一样，不是一家子就是两口子在吃饭，只有伊织是孤家寡人。 “一个人吗？”就连引座的侍者也是一副惊讶的表情。 早知如此，就该邀上别的女人一起来共进晚餐。在银座的酒吧和夜总会里工作的女人新年休假反而意外地清闲。商店放假了，熟客们也都回家与等待的妻儿团圆。她们各有各的情况，很少有人回老家。对她们而言，新年休假是最为孤独的时候。 总之，伊织觉得别人都在猜测他，认为他不是单身，就是被家庭抛弃。他于是三口两口地吃完饭后，又返回了房间。酒店里洋溢着欢庆热闹的节日气氛，然而就在今夜，正是这样的喧闹氛围将伊织带进了孤独之中。 第二天七点伊织醒了一次，看了元旦厚厚的报纸后，又睡了。往常过年时，大年初一的早上不是去看日出，就是去参拜神社。现在却一点这样的心情也没有。一个人起了床后正想洗个淋浴时，电话铃响了。真早啊，他想。拿起电话，原来是霞打来的。 “新年好！已经醒了？” “现在正想去洗个澡呢。” “真早啊，今年也请多多关照。” 霞这么说完后，笑了起来。作为已经以身相许的男女之间，这样的谈话也许的确是有些可笑。 “今天上哪儿去吗？” “嗯，没别的安排。” “受委屈了，好好呆着等我，初三一定去看你。” 霞说完了这些，挂断了电话。 伊织洗完澡出来，换上了长裤和夹克衫，来到大厅。饭店为在这里过年的住客精心准备了丰富多彩的娱乐节目。从一层到地下层，摆满了节日里才有的摊位店铺，此外，饭店还开设了游乐场和游戏机中心，还为主妇们专门举办了结绳现场表演和描花烧陶，为父亲们准备了围棋和象棋，甚至还开设了高尔夫球练习场。妻子与孩子们大概对一年一度在饭店里度过新年感到欣喜。然而，对男人们而言，却似乎是件麻烦事儿。虽说住的是一流的饭店，但每间双人房里都住上一家三四口人，拥挤不堪。带着孩子们逛完了小摊，看完了游戏中心就觉得腻味。而且，在这儿喝上一杯果汁饮料要花费相当于市价好几倍的价钱。比起这种高额花费，倒不如在家里优哉游哉地躺着看看电视。当然，当着妻儿的面儿，他们不能这样说。他们能够消除疲倦和权作歇息的地方可能也只有娱乐室和高尔夫球练习场等。 如今的伊织已经没必要为妻子儿女操心了。当他看着游戏中心里带着孩子玩的男人们，感到自己没有负担，无比轻松，但同时又感到一丝寂寞。 伊织在饭店里兜了一圈之后，开车来到位于自由之丘的家。他明知道妻儿都不在家，但仍然摁响了门铃。屋里无人应声，他于是进了屋，取了寄给自己的那些贺年卡。返回饭店后，他在房间里将自己未寄送而对方却寄来的贺卡挑出来分类。不知不觉中，黄昏已经再次降临。 伊织这次提前到餐厅吃晚饭，然后看电视，以后睡着了，半夜里醒了一会儿，他就翻看带来的书籍。 洗澡、看电视、吃饭、看书，伊织随心所欲地消磨时间。初二转眼就过去了。一个人住在酒店里，觉得实在太无聊了，可这样相当能消磨时间。伊织不禁感慨万千。 到了新年初三，在饭店里休假的住客开始陆陆续续地分散回家，饭店为过年而设的各种活动也于初三截止。大堂里和除夕一样，拖家带口的人们熙熙攘攘，妻子和孩子们的脸上洋溢着饭店渡假的满足感，而男人们都略带倦容，他们的脑海里也许正在盘算，回到家里，新年的休假也屈指可数了。 许多公司今年都是从初五开始上班。但是，伊织的事务所因为年关一直工作到三十号，所以决定延长新年的休假时间，从初六才开始上班。往年的这时候比今年清闲一些，但是今年接手了城市广场的工作和多摩地区的项目，所以也就难得悠闲。 然而，也唯独今年，伊织不需要休假。与其在漫长的假期里一个人胡思乱想，倒不如索性工作到底，还可以消愁解闷。 以往过年休假时，时有职员到家里来聚会。伊织讨厌形式，所以并不特意邀请他们。然而就算叫上在东京的时间方便的下属来聚上一聚，也已经有三四年没办了。表面上的理由是说自己不在东京，其实是因为几年来与笙子亲近的缘故。有了心爱的女人，自然懒得叫部下到家里来，同时还得顾虑妻子，心里也很烦躁。 他下属体察到这些方面，也渐渐地敬而远之。 这次年关时，望月问过： “所长，新年上哪儿？” “想出去旅行。”伊织答道。望月默不作声。他一定心里暗自猜想，既然伊织和笙子已经分了手，希望他有空时来看看他。 如把他们叫到饭店里来，或许能散散心，伊织并不矜持，但只能独自品尝与妻子分手之后的孤独。事实上，漫步在饭店的大堂或是去餐厅时，伊织都备尝孤独的滋味。他走在亲亲热热的夫妇身后时，甚至觉得“形单影只”，这个词就像是专为他创造的意境，很感惆怅。 然而，明明独自一个，却也并不很觉得寂莫，甚至不能醉心沉浸在这种状态中，多是因为心底里还有霞的缘故。眼前只是孤身一人，但只要他去追求，鲜花就在身旁，因此他居然还有心思引发出一些“形单影只”等风花雪月之类感触。 他自己可能并未察觉，初三就能与霞相会，这成了自己在新年期间渡过孤独的精神支柱。 初三清晨，伊织将醒时做了个梦。梦里的大致情形，醒后就记不清了，只记得霞的确是在他的身边。醒来一看，霞自然不在身旁，却留下一种妖冶的气氛。 他昨晚入睡前曾想，明天霞就要来了。这也许是日有所思夜有所梦的缘故。在梦境里，他感受到了女人久违了的肉体。伊织做了一个孩子般的梦，觉得有些害躁，于是便往窗外看。 透过带有花边装饰的窗帘，明媚阳光射了进来。床头柜上的钟表，已经到了十点钟。正当他犹豫不决地思索着是否该起床时，电话铃响了。 “早上好，睡醒了吗？” 冷不防冒出了霞的声音，伊织觉得不可思议，他用手掌拍了一下脑袋说：“我正梦见你，很奇怪的梦。你好像正要干些不像话的事。” “我怎么会做那种事……” “可能是因为我想今天可以见到你的缘故吧！” “对不起，我今天不能去了。” 伊织急忙拿好了话筒。 “今天早上，阿佐谷的一个亲戚去世了，我必须得到东京奔丧。” “几点去？” “马上就准备，我想尽早些。” “晚上也不行了吗？” “那个亲戚从小给我关照，看着我长大的，今天看来只能住他家了。” 既然是死了亲戚，那她是和丈夫一起去了。伊织想象身着丧服的霞的模样。 “盼星星盼月亮地想，今天总算能见到你了，新年伊始，就有人去世，真是讨厌啊！”霞有些撒娇地拖长语尾说道。 “你想办法中间抽空溜出来不行吗？” 早上做了妖冶的梦，现在又听到霞的声音，伊织更是亢奋。 “我一个人一直等你到今天，哪怕见上一面也好呀！” “你会整天都呆在那儿吗？” “如果你来，我等你。” 可能是无所事事地过了三天的缘故，伊织现在觉得自己的肉体涌动着激情。 “那，我去看看吧。可能要到三四点钟。” “一定要来，不见不散。” 屋外的风仍然很冷，冬日的暖阳洒满了窗户。在阳光的辉映中，高速路上色彩斑斓的汽车穿梭不息。毕竟还是大年初三，车辆不多，车流十分顺畅。楼下通向饭店的大路上，人来人往，络绎不绝，有时还可以看到身着和服盛装的年轻女子。 伊织一边品着下午送到客房的咖啡，一边观赏着窗外的景致。Then the phone rang. “我现在楼下的大厅里，希望能跟你见个面。请你下来吧！” 霞的声音里夹杂着背后传来的嘈杂声。 “别说这些，到房间里来吧！你前面不是有电梯吗？” “可是我没时间了。必须马上赶回阿佐谷。” “你吊唁过了吗？” “是啊，大家都在那儿。” 时钟这时指向了四点钟。 “反正我