Chapter 4 Four, spring sorrow

Every year when the spring is full and the climate is warm, some people feel unwell.Winter is finally over, the severe cold season is over, but my head is dizzy, my body is weak, and I always feel that I have no energy.Maybe it's because the body has been used to the severe cold of winter, but it can't adapt to the sudden warmth of spring.Maybe it's because the body can't resist the revival of all things. Shengzi seems to be this type of woman.This is the case every year, and every time everything recovers, the body seems to be unwell.However, it's not a specific part that has a problem, it's just that I always feel lack of vitality, and I feel that I don't have the energy to do anything.In short, the physical discomfort affects the spirit as a result, and I feel uneasy in my heart.

Perhaps this tendency is more obvious in a thin woman with low blood pressure like Shengzi. It was already halfway through April, and Iori realized this.The two have been together for four years, so it should have been discovered earlier.He had known for a long time that Shengzi would feel unwell every early spring, but because Yizhi himself didn't care about the spring, he finally forgot this.In addition, his mind was completely focused on Xia, which was also the reason for ignoring this matter. Yizhi and Kasumi's meeting was interrupted for a while, and finally remembered this matter.Shengzi's bad mood is due to physical discomfort when everything is revived every year, not for other reasons.Of course, maybe it's not that simple, or she has already noticed what happened to Yizhi and Xia, and she is dissatisfied.However, from Iori's point of view, thinking that she was just unwell in early spring, he felt more comfortable in his heart.

The cherry blossoms have faded and the sun is shining. It seems to be early summer.One Saturday evening, Yizhi finally got together with Shengzi.At this time, as soon as they met, Iori asked her about Chuchun's physical discomfort as if she knew it already. "How does this year feel?" "It's much better, but the temperature is higher." "Do you have a fever?" "I don't even have a fever." Shengzi brushed up the hair that fell to his forehead with his strikingly white hands.Both the hands and the flesh are thin and slender, but only that, sensitive and fragile.However, Iori may be obsessed with this sensitive and fragile body.

The restaurant is located on the basement of a building on Aoyama Street near Shibuya.The facade is spacious and slender, with more than a dozen dining tables, it looks small and exquisite. "The boss used to be the head chef at Ginza Asprey restaurant, and now he does it by himself..." Iori likes this taste and has been to this store several times. "Small and exquisite, really attractive." "Come on! Cheers!" Shengzi drank the wine, as if to drive away the physical discomfort at the beginning of spring. "My body temperature is a little high, can I still drink?"

"Drink a little, and I feel better. Maybe it's because drunkenness can make people forget!" Sheng Zi took a sip, then pressed it to his forehead as if appreciating the coldness of the wine glass. "Going back to Nagano during Golden Week?" "No, I won't go back. I've been annoyed by my natal family for a long time." "What happened?" "When I went back last time, they forced me to go on a blind date. If I go back this time, I will definitely not be able to escape." Iori heard that Shengzi's family is an old-fashioned family in Nagano Prefecture, and his father is a high school teacher. Iori can imagine that because of the simple and simple family style, a 28-year-old single daughter must be under great pressure.

"Who is the other party?" "I had no such intention at all, so I didn't ask." Seeing Shengzi's stubborn face that didn't match her frail body, Iori looked out of the window. Hearing that Shengzi said that he didn't plan to get married, he was naturally happy, but Iori felt confused and didn't know how to answer.When a woman talks about blind dates and marriage to a man, she may be forcing the other party to come to a certain conclusion. He could guess this, but the current Iori couldn't give a clear answer.The waiter comes to pour the wine.Waiting for him to fill it up, Yizhi turned to Shengzi.

"So, during Golden Week, shall we go and have fun?" Shengzi was probably full, and more than half of the creamed veal was left. At this time, she replied: "You don't have to force it." "reluctantly?" "You have a lot of work and you want to play golf and mahjong, don't you?" Indeed, two months ago he accepted the commission to design the rural museum in H City in Northeast China, and he planned to submit the design proposal to the city after the Golden Week.In addition, friends invited him to play golf, and he himself has always wanted to find a night to play mahjong carefree all night.

"Would you like to go to Kyoto?" "But there are a lot of people! Don't you hate a lot of people?" "I don't like crowds, but Nara may be okay. I want to see the peonies at Hase Temple in Nara." "If it's for me, you don't have to worry too much." "There's something wrong with you these days!" "Hey, nothing's wrong!" Shengzi deliberately smiled cautiously, took a sip of the wine, and said: "Last time, Miyazu said that he hoped to stay here for a while longer." Miyaritsu Daisuke has worked in Iori's office for eight years, and originally planned to quit his job this summer and open another office by himself.

"However, did the preparation work go well?" "I visited and investigated everywhere, but I lost my confidence instead." The construction industry has lost its former pomp and is not as prosperous as it used to be.Affected by this, architects are also facing a grim situation.Except for a small number of people who have jobs, most of them can only find odd jobs and have to accept harsh conditions.Iori is one of those lucky people. As long as Miyazu stays in Iori's office, he can engage in large-scale design, but once he opens his own business, it will be difficult to find projects.Perhaps he considered this and became timid.

"It's not specifically, he said it by accident when we drank coffee together last time." The staff learned that Shengzi and Yizhi have a close relationship, and some things are difficult to tell Yizhi, so they revealed it to Shengzi.Miyazu's words probably also belong to this category. Iori has always let the employees of his own firm change jobs or resign to start their own businesses independently.If you want to resign, you can resign, and if you want to start a business, you can also show your talents. Among the designers with large offices, some have strict control over staff switching jobs and independent openings, while Iori believes that they can freely decide according to their own ideas.Of course, if they come to discuss, he will help, but he doesn't want to interfere too much.This point sometimes seems indifferent, but to the staff, it is easy and casual.

"If Miyazu offers not to resign, can he stay in the office?" It was at the end of last year that Miyazu proposed to open independently.According to this plan, Iori hired a young designer this spring. Therefore, if Miyazu does not leave, there will be one more staff member.However, Iori didn't care about that.Now even if there is an additional employee, there will be no difficulty, and there are more people and more people. On the contrary, Iori remembered what a staff member said at the New Year's party last year.The employee was a little drunk, and told Iori that Miyazu liked Shengzi, so he planned to resign.When Iori heard this, he felt strange, but he was so calm.He just thought vaguely: In the same office, if you meet a woman like Shengzi, of course there will be male employees who like her, and Miyazu is already thirty-two years old and single, so she is the right age for Shengzi. As a result, not only did he not mention this matter to Gongjin, he didn't even ask Shengzi, but he just regarded it as a rumor and buried it deep in his heart. What Iori feels uneasy now is that Miyazu changed his mind after resigning, but instead of telling himself, he went to tell Shengzi.Iori wanted to tell himself directly about this kind of thing.It would be illogical for Miyazu to tell her that Shengzi had a close relationship with the director. Iori does not arrange personnel and work according to Shengzi's opinion.Iori feels uncomfortable when others see it like this, and it is not good for Shengzi. "What did you say?" "I didn't say anything, I just listened in silence." Maybe that's true, but now Shengzi told Yizhi.Regardless of the situation at the time, in short, his words reached the ears of the director.It's nice to hear Sheng Zi talk about the situation of the staff, but maybe it's not fair.Iori thought, at this point, he had to recognize his own responsibility. "If Miyazu talks to me in the future, I will consider it." Yizhi stopped drinking wine and switched to brandy, and Shengzi also ordered a soft drink. "I'm going to Kyoto and Nara, I'm afraid I can't book a hotel now." "Then don't go to other places, and spend a day comfortably in Tokyo. Or you can go to Yokohama for a day. What do you think?" "I also can." After drinking a little wine, Shengzi's initial melancholy seemed to improve a bit. "It's almost time to go." Iori refused to eat the sweets at the restaurant and stood up.When I went outside, I saw that the sky was cloudy and windy. Since it was a Saturday night, there were a lot of young people.Suddenly there was a burst of hearty laughter, and four women came over.When passing by them, Yizhi whispered to Shengzi: "Come to my place?" Shengzi looked at the long queue of cars waiting for the signal lights, thought for a while and said: "I go home." "What's up?" Shengzi didn't answer, and followed Yizhi half a step away.He had thought that Shengzi would change his mind after having a meal together, but it didn't seem like the true feelings. "Isn't there nothing going on today?" Iori walked forward for more than twenty meters and stopped at the sidewalk barrier. "Do you have to go?" Seeing Shengzi nodding in the night breeze, Yizhi raised her hand to stop the approaching taxi. "Okay, I'll see you off." Iori got into the stopped taxi and told the driver to drive to Komazawa, where Shengzi lived. The driver did not speak, turned around at the signal ahead, and drove back to Shibuya Station. To go to Yizhi's apartment, just drive straight ahead. If you want to go to Shengzi's house, go in the opposite direction.Shengzi remained silent until the car turned around and waited at the red light at the crowded Shibuya Station. Although Sheng Zi's mood was a little more relaxed in the restaurant, it became heavy again when he went outside. After a while, the green light came on, and the car passed through the bridge hole next to the station and drove west along the national highway.The hustle and bustle of the downtown suddenly disappeared, and when the car drove into the tunnel of the interchange, Shengzi suddenly raised his hand and pressed his forehead. "What happened to you?" Yizhi asked again and again, but Shengzi just didn't speak, and silently leaned his upper body over.The two of them kept cuddling like this until the car passed through the tunnel and the lights came on again, and Iori quietly put his hand on her shoulder. "Let's go back!" "..." "Driver. I'm sorry, please drive back to Qingshan." "Go back again? You can't turn around until the next red light!" He had already changed direction once, and now he was about to turn around again, the driver was a little unhappy. "It's okay to move forward, please." Yizhi said something to the driver, and gently put her arm around Shengzi's shoulder.Shengzi no longer resisted. When I left the restaurant and walked to the street, I insisted on going home, but now why do I want to go to Iori's house? Is it really the melancholy at the beginning of spring that makes Shengzi's mood fluctuate?Or is it because of the irritability that has settled in her heart recently that she is unwilling to follow him obediently?In short, the heart of a young girl is really delicate. The car returns to the brightly lit Shibuya again. Maybe Sheng Zi suddenly felt lonely after leaving the bustling downtown area.Shengzi's body, which was still stiff just now, became soft and obedient, nestling in Yizhi's arms like a kitten. In less than ten minutes, the car arrived at the apartment. Shengzi has been to Yizhi's house many times, but tonight she is a bit shy.One step away from following behind, maybe she also thought about starting to refuse and then changed her mind halfway. After opening the door and entering the room, Shengzi stopped and looked around, as if he was using his eyes and sense of smell to check the changes during his absence. "Can you still have a drink?" Iori poured himself a glass of whiskey and water, and poured Shengzi a glass of brandy.Shengzi took a sip, stroked the surface of the sofa she was sitting on and said: "Change the sofa cover!" The plain sofa cover in winter has been replaced by a cloth cover with bright patterns in spring. "This painting also..." Shengzi looked back at the wall, and the original landscape painting had been replaced by an abstract painting full of cherries on a green background. "It was changed more than a month ago." "I haven't been here for a month either." Shengzi stood up and walked towards the kitchen. "Is the maid still here?" "Of course. If she wasn't here, no one would clean it!" "You're using this thing now." Right now, Shengzi is fiddling with the coffee machine with the grinder.This was bought by Shengzi last year after he told him that there was such a convenient device. "It looks like nothing has changed." "Of course!" "However, the room is bright and seems to be full of life. No one else has entered the room except me?" "Of course!" After Iori finished speaking, he changed his words again: "There are guests coming..." "That can't be helped." Iori nodded, but he was thinking of Xia.Is she really a guest?Broadly speaking, maybe so, but given their tryst here, it's hard to call her an ordinary guest. "Sleep!" Keep urging to go to the dormitory, Sheng Zi silently followed. Yizhi only turned on the small light on the bedside table, and took off her clothes. Shengzi waited a while, and then began to take off too.Yi Zhi got into bed first, and Sheng Zi, who was only wearing a vest, also bent down and got in.Looking at her pose like a kitten, Iori naturally thought of Kasumi. If it was Xia, it would never be like this.During the last tryst, Xia turned around and took off one arm after another, and finally she was still wearing a long gown with a narrow belt, and slowly slipped in from the edge of the quilt. Of course, Shengzi wears a suit, which is different from a kimono.Wearing a suit, once you take off the shirt under the coat, you will be naked.If you don't want people to see your skin, you can only use pajamas temporarily, otherwise you can only bend over and get into the bed quickly.In fact, Shengzi also folded his hands on his chest and bent over to get in. Sheng Zi's actions just now were not indecent, but the way he got in was very cute and cute.But compared with Xia, Shengzi's movements are a bit too blunt and tasteless.I was a little confused when I got in the car, but I no longer hesitated once I entered the room.As if going to bed was a matter of course, she took the initiative to take off her clothes. There was none of Xayah's confusion and hesitation in this movement.Casual look, it is likely to make people feel neat and tasteless.But if you think about it carefully, it can also be said that this approach is exactly what men want.At this time, there is no need to heighten the atmosphere or tease, even if the taste is lacking, it will not have a sense of fun and peace.Iori doesn't want to compare the pros and cons of each other at all right now. Sometimes he felt that it was good taste even if it was cumbersome, and sometimes he thought it was too much trouble. Asking a woman to do two things, although it is a man's wish, is indeed selfish enough. One thing is clear, however.The joy of taking off their clothes quickly is the crystallization of the two people's years of getting along with each other.Shengzi didn't go to bed so easily in the past.Although unlike Xia, she also had confusion and hesitation.It can also be said that these have all disappeared now, melted into the long and deep four years. When getting along with Shengzi, just as the process of going to bed is very smooth, there is no unnecessary tension in the act of courting each other.There is no excitement and curiosity about the unknown here, but instead, there is a kind of tranquility that only two people can enjoy if they get close for a long time. The cloud and rain passed, and Sheng Zi curled up and snuggled up to Iori's chest as usual, like a baby bird crawling into a nest made by a mother bird.Sheng Zi's thin body was motionless, only the slight rise and fall of the chest when breathing was transmitted through the soft muscles. The woman may savor the ever-increasing satisfaction after the act of love is over, while the man has already woken up at this moment.This is where men find it difficult.However, Iori now felt Shengzi's warm body all over her body, and at the same time fell into burnout and slight regret.Burnout is naturally a sense of exhaustion after joy, but the content of regret is somewhat complicated. The tense relationship with Shengzi in the past month seemed to have been resolved, no matter what the reason and process were, after mutual caressing, all the original conflicts had become nothing worth mentioning.In this sense, today's tryst is of great significance to both of them. However, in addition to this sense of security, he also felt that the relationship between him and Shengzi was deepening.This is exactly what Iori hoped for. He is not dissatisfied with this matter, but it is difficult to wipe away the uneasiness and dullness brought about by this prospect.If this continues, how will his relationship with Shengzi develop?It has been procrastinating for four years, but there is no conclusion yet.The reason is that his wife does not agree to the divorce, but the underlying reason is Iori's indecision.The current anxiety is just the irritability caused by this state, and it is also mixed with the difficult factor of the relationship between the boss and the woman working under him.Besides, Xia's figure flashed in the middle.The heart is heavy and the turmoil is endless.Although Iori's mood is fluctuating now, he is also somewhat irresponsible. He thought that no matter who he combined with, the result would be the same.No matter how fond it may be at first, passion soon fades, and only ennui is left to overwhelm. Women tend to be confused and hesitant before going to bed, but men are annoyed and lost after they're done. The afternoon after Yizhi and Shengzi had a tryst in Yunyu, Xia called. "I'm so sorry, I'm calling your office." Xia apologized first, then whispered: "Going to Tokyo tomorrow, are you there?" "Yes. What time?" "It's afternoon, about three o'clock!" According to the schedule, he will meet with the manufacturer who sent the building material samples at two o'clock tomorrow, "Can't it be at night?" "Sorry, I have to go somewhere at six. If you're busy, forget it. I'm just calling to see if you have time." "Wait! Will you come straight to the apartment at three o'clock?" If it is not in the office, but in the apartment to meet with the manufacturer, it seems that it can be arranged at three o'clock. "But you don't have to force it. It was so sudden that I hadn't hoped for it." "No problem, I'm all right here. Come at three o'clock." "But……" "I'm waiting for you." Although Shengzi didn't answer the call, talking too much and letting other women notice is not good after all. Iori took the initiative to hang up the phone. Still, he hadn't heard Xayah's voice for a long time.Calculating carefully, it has been two weeks since I made a phone call the day I drank with Muraoka.Perhaps because of the late night, Xia seemed a little embarrassed at that time.With this matter in mind, Iori didn't call after that, just thinking about Xia in his heart.When drinking coffee alone or walking at night, I often suddenly feel that Xia is by my side. For a long time, Xia didn't call at all.He was worried that Xia Xia might ignore him in the long run, but sometimes he thought desperately that he had to resign himself to fate.He made excuses for himself, and felt that reliving his relationship with Shengzi last night might be closely related to his despair. "Tomorrow at three o'clock..." While talking to himself, Iori's whole body was filled with new excitement. During the tryst with Shengzi, he almost never felt such a sense of tension and fullness. Iori always goes to the office around noon.He doesn't get up too late, but as long as there are no special circumstances, he always writes manuscripts and flips through books at home in the morning.As soon as I arrive at the office, there are all kinds of chores, and there are many entertainments at night, so the morning is a precious time to be alone. At ten o'clock the next day after Xia called, Yizhi dialed the number of the office, and Shengzi answered the phone. "Good morning!" Perhaps it was because the two of them had a tryst two days ago, Sheng Zi's voice was very light.Iori felt relieved and told her that she could not go to the office today. "However, at two o'clock in the afternoon, Mr. Kato from Μ Building Materials Company is coming to visit. After that, there is a schedule to meet visitors from Maruyou Trading Company." "I don't need to see these two people, let Uraga meet for me." Uraga is an old architect who has worked here for more than ten years and is especially trusted by Iori. "So have you been in the apartment today?" "I have accumulated some work, and the apartment is more peaceful." "Okay, I'll contact you if I need something." Hanging up the phone, Iori breathed a sigh of relief.No matter what it is, lying always weighs heavily on the heart.The real reason for not going to the office today is that Kasumi is coming to the apartment.Of course Shengzi didn't understand this, and he didn't seem to doubt it.As far as this is concerned, it went well, but the frustration after lying was hard to appease. Generally speaking, Iori is not good at lying.If he lied, he would reveal his truth one day. Although he wasn't worried about confessing or being caught, he always showed it on his face.To say that he is kind-hearted, seems to be too much money, maybe he won't put on an air. However, this may not be limited to Iori, but all men.In general, women lie more than men.The reason may be that men are lazy.More importantly, it stems from the psychological differences when lying. If you want to tell a lie, tell a big lie.At this point, women are bold.Men do everything possible to play tricks, and they are much more cautious than women in their bones. He finally found some excuse to deceive Shengzi, but there was still a maid.This maid is in the house, which is a bit difficult. The maid Tomiko came back before noon, cooked Iori a meal for both breakfast and lunch, then cleaned the room, and went back after doing some chores arranged.Iori seldom stays at home all day, and doesn't know the details of the maid's activities. She always seems to leave at three or four o'clock. Today Xia is coming at three o'clock, and she needs to leave before three o'clock. Since it was just asking her to do some trivial things, even if Xia appeared, there was no need to worry about it, but in fact it didn't work.Tomiko appears to be honest on the surface, but actually cares about Iori's private life very much. After Xia left last time, she found the hairpin sensitively, and even deliberately threw it into the ashtray in front of her face.If I ran into Xia directly today, I would immediately understand that this was that woman. How can we get rid of the maid sooner?While thinking about it, the doorbell rang and Tomiko showed up. "The taxi and the motorcycle collided at the corner just now. The person on the motorcycle was injured and an ambulance was called. It was really crowded." As soon as Tomiko entered the house, he reported what happened outside as usual. Even if it was just a crowded tram or rain, as long as Tomiko opened his mouth, it would sound like big news. "I've been working here all day today, I'll go back after cleaning!" "Aren't you going to eat?" "Eat, one person is fine after two o'clock." "The people from the laundry room are coming today. The weather is fine. I was going to dry the mattresses. You work next door, don't you think it's noisy?" "That's right. But I'm busy with work, so I want to think about it alone." I should be happy to put it home early, but Fuzi turned away unhappily and walked towards the kitchen.This woman is very spiritual, or has already sensed that she is going to have a tryst with a woman.However, he always felt that it would be difficult for her to understand if he just wanted her to go back early.Although it is self-inflicted, it is too uncomfortable to meet women in my own room and have to worry about them one by one. Iori stayed shut in the study, and had a late breakfast made by her maid Tomoko in the afternoon.In the past, lunch was simple, just bread and green vegetables, but recently, except for special circumstances, I always eat porridge in the morning.When traveling in Kyoto a year ago, the porridge in the hotel in the morning was very fragrant, which is the reason for this habit, and it is more refreshing than bread, and it is not bad for the stomach. But it’s called porridge, but it’s actually very troublesome. In addition to cooking glutinous rice directly on the fire, you also need to put torreya and red dates, and chestnuts in autumn.Jujubes should be put in water to ferment, chestnuts should be shelled and peeled, and soaked in water.Young maids are often unable to do these things, Tomiko may be because of his age, and the work is not too troublesome.After all, maybe it was because the breakfast porridge was so good that he hired Fuzi. When Yizhi was having dinner, he asked her to clean the study room, and when she was done, he asked her again to go back at two o'clock today. "But the room here hasn't been cleaned yet!" "It's too late to do it now!" Tomiko started to clean up the dishes, then suddenly stopped and asked: "Am I here to influence you?" "No, it's nothing. But it's a bit of a hassle at work." Tomiko stopped talking and started washing the dishes.Iori could only see her back and couldn't read her expression, but it could be seen from the way she vigorously turned on the faucet and the action of washing the dishes with her shoulders upright that she was very upset. No matter what, using a woman is trouble.But speaking of it, the idea of ​​Iori Dazai having a tryst with a married woman is too outrageous. That being the case, it would be better to meet outside and find a restaurant.But in that case, Xia would be unhappy, and even Iori himself didn't have the courage to go to that kind of place during the day. He went back into the study and sat at the desk.About an hour later, Tomiko showed up.Looking back, she was already dressed for the street, holding a paper bag in her hand. "It's two o'clock now, I'm going back." The words are very polite, but there are obvious thorns. "Do I not have to come back tomorrow?" "No, of course I invite you to come!" "Then I bid farewell..." Tomiko bid farewell and left with an overly polite manner.Then there was the sound of closing the door, and Iori went to look at the door.Fuzixie is no longer there, after checking that she has indeed left, and locking the door from the inside, Iori is finally relieved. For the next hour, although Iori sat at the desk, his work made no progress.He did have some work to do with peace of mind, but when he thought of Xia coming, he couldn't concentrate.He hadn't felt this emotion in years.He blamed himself for being old and yet so immature.But Iori thought again, being in this state of excitement is not bad. There is an admonishing saying, which is called doing things commensurate with age, which means to emphasize the need to consider the impact, but if you blindly cater to it, you will only grow old and your talents will be exhausted.He sat at the table again, looking at the window from time to time, in a daze, it was three o'clock, but the doorbell still hadn't ring. The gate of Yizhi Apartment is controlled by remote control, and guests need to use the intercom next to the gate to communicate with the room.Hear the call, make an inquiry, and then press the button in the room to open the door. Although Xia has been here twice, but both came with Yizhi, maybe she didn't know how to call the door, and was in a daze at the door.Thinking of this, he stood up.The phone rang.In an instant, Iori realized that it was the call from the office, stood up and picked up the phone, but heard Kasumi's voice. "I'm nearby now, can I go?" "Of course. The door below is locked. You have to call the door on the intercom." It's already ten past three o'clock, so it's Xia's prudence to make a phone call when you come nearby.It seemed that it was indeed very close. In less than five minutes, Xia came.Today I still wear a kimono, a yellow Yuki material with a light gray obi, and I hold a handbag and a small paper bag in my hand. "Can I come in?" "please!" Yizhi Yingxia came in, closed the door and locked it. "I've been waiting for you!" Hearing Iori say this angrily with complicated emotions, Kasumi lowered her head. "I'm really sorry, I insisted on disturbing you, won't it affect your work?" "It's okay, come inside!" Xia nodded, stepped back and bent down, and straightened her clogs.Iori was standing, her eyes just caught Kasumi's collar, where the white collar of the shirt was exposed from the beautifully opened collar.Iori hurriedly looked away from the dazzling collar, turned and walked back to the living room.Xia followed, looking around the kitchen. "I brought flowers. Is the vase still there?" "I enjoyed the camellia last time for a while." "I don't know if you like this flower." Xia opened the paper bag in her hand, revealing a white peony inside. "Put it in here, please?" Xia went straight to the sink, took out the flower scissors from the plain box, and started arranging flowers. Iori sat on the sofa, looked at Kasumi's back and said: "I'm sorry for calling you suddenly last time." "I'm sorry!" "Calling so late, I kept blaming myself afterwards." "He said he was with Mr. Muraoka." Xia took the peony in her hand, examined it carefully, and cut off the leaves. "At the beginning, I just planned to drink a few cups, but I didn't realize that I drank too much. In the end, Muraoka warned me." "warn?" "He said, I shouldn't like you." Xia pretended not to hear, inserted the flower, and pressed the middle of the stem with both hands. "He doesn't know anything yet." When Iori spoke, Kasumi turned around. "Where is it?" There is a space in the middle section of the large decorative cabinet that can hold the size of a TV.Yizhi pointed, and Xia held the vase and placed it there. "It might mess you up." "No, it's great." A large peony flower with the only remaining green leaf leaning against the flower.All of this is the same as Bizen Bizen, an ancient place name in Japan, which is used here as the name of a vase.The vases complement each other.With flowers, the room adds a luxurious atmosphere. "I originally thought peony was a rich flower, but looking at it this way, it looks very elegant." "I'm not boasting, white peony, and only one, it's elegant." Iori nodded and wanted to say "Flowers are like you...", but didn't say it.He remembered that when Xia brought the camellia, he also said something like Hua Xiangxia, but he stopped halfway through.Saying it looks like you every time sounds unemotional, and the statement itself is a bit contrived.However, at this time, he felt that the two were similar, but it was also an indisputable fact.The shy and white posture of camellia is just like Xia, and the quiet grace of peony is also similar to Xia. The two looked at the flowers next to them and sat opposite each other. "Have you been busy?" "Not really. I've been anxious, afraid I'll never see you again. You never call me." "You mean, let me call you?" For a moment, Kasumi looked at Iori with a serious expression. Iori thought again that Kasumi was a married woman.Although there were two trysts, it might be too much for the woman to take the initiative to call. "I made a weird phone call in the middle of the night, but I was too embarrassed to call again. Next time I will call during the day." "Maybe the maid answers the phone. She's smart, though, and that's all right." Iori was taken aback.It was the first time for Xayah to express herself so proactively.In the past, he was always evasive, as if forced to do nothing. "Stop here on your way elsewhere?" "I went to the flower exhibition at the Nihonbashi Department Store. My flowers were displayed, although it was not good." "That must be appreciated." "Not worth seeing." Iori looked at the flowers in the vase again.The flowers are ordinary, but the style that can be inserted is very unique. "I heard that you are at six o'clock..." "Gathering at the restaurant with friends from the fair." See the exhibition, then hold the reception.Taking advantage of the short time in between, Xia came to see herself.However, at six o'clock, it was only a little over two hours.Yizhi looked at Hua again, thinking about finding an opportunity to ask Xia to go to bed. It is difficult for a man to accurately understand a woman's heart.Since Xia took out a short time during the day to come to see her at home, she naturally had a good impression of her.It's safe to say that this is love.But does this mean that she will sleep with herself, Iori really lacks confidence.What men don't know is exactly what's behind this. In the past, they had promised each other with their bodies, and now they are getting along again.Of course she would agree, given the way it had been done.But even in this case, women sometimes say no.She might say, I didn't mean that, or she might say, she just came to meet.If the desired mood is too obvious, women will avoid it. However, she will never hate him from the bottom of her heart. If she thinks she can't do it and becomes discouraged, she will think that she has no courage.In short, for women, the atmosphere at this time is very important.There's no reason to go to bed, it's just a matter of timing.Just pull down in a state of letting nature take its course, and she will come along. Maybe the woman is resenting at this time, why doesn't the man take the initiative? But how do you go with the flow?It's hard.Let's talk about enhancing the atmosphere. Everyone's preference for the atmosphere is different, and it is difficult to achieve it immediately if you want to enhance it immediately.Especially with the bright sunlight coming in from the balcony, this afternoon was even more difficult.It would be difficult to make love during the day if men and women do not love each other many times. Iori glanced at his watch secretly, it was half past three.If things continued like this, she would have to attend the six o'clock reception, and there were only two hours left.Besides, considering the time to get dressed, it was less than an hour.He said to himself: "Be quick...". However, asking her to go to bed with her without any restraint is too outrageous, and it is too indecent to reach out and pull her. If possible, go to bed without hurting Xayah or her own self-esteem. What was even worse was the position where the two sat facing each other.If you sit side by side, you can secretly put your hands on your shoulders and lean forward to kiss.But sitting opposite each other and stretching out your hands is too indecent. Iori stood up helplessly, went to the kitchen to drink some water, and then stood behind Kasumi as if she was looking for something.The neckline with a very beautiful opening is right in front of my eyes. "It's now..." A soft murmur sounded in Iori's mind.Love must be deep, but timing is also very important.There will be countless regrets between men and women, "If only I said so to me at that time", "If I did this", how good it would be!What was acceptable at that moment is not acceptable now.Conversely, what is acceptable now may not be acceptable at another time.The timing is fleeting, how much love is lost in this regret.This may sometimes determine a person's life, and in fact, it is exactly the same when two people are united. If you just go back to where you are sitting now, you can only continue to sit and chat facing each other.Whether it's talking about flowers or work, talk endlessly, but time keeps passing.That might be fun too, but there's no point in being alone in a room.It can even be said that there is no real feeling and no way to show that love has deepened. 女人也许是能见面就很高兴，可对男人来说，既然见面，就想抚摸肌肤。 至少一旦陷入比较深的关系，就会感到肤浅的幽会毫无意义。 虽然只有几秒钟，霞似乎已经对伫立在身后的伊织感到疑惑。就在她准备回头探询时，伊织的手抓住了她的肩膀。她本要向上站起的上半身被拉了过去，霞轻轻地摇了摇头。 "No……" 她刚说到这里，伊织已经不管不顾地把她的脸扭向后边。 “这怎么……”霞呢喃着，再次表示不同意。 可是，伊织已经不再听她说的话。现在能够相信的不再是话语，而是肉体的反应。 肉体虽然一度反抗，但接着就顺从，然后嘴唇微启，舌头伸了进去。 经过长时间的接吻，伊织偷偷睁开眼睛时，他才发觉两个人的姿势是何等奇妙。霞的上半身坐在椅子上，只有脑袋转向后面接受了他的吻，而伊织则跪在椅子后面，搂着她的肩膀。过午的阳光从阳台照射进来，无情地泼洒在霞的脸上。像是在忍耐疼痛，她轻微地皱起眉梢，眼角在微微颤抖。 只要有了这个开端，剩下的就不再犹豫。再下面就是沿着过去走过的道路走下去。实际上，如果在接吻之后停滞不前，那倒反而极不自然。伊织已经不打算停下来。他拖着霞来到寝室，霞哀求地说： “我真的得六点钟走，” “知道，那之前肯定放你走。求你了。” 伊织把嘴凑在她耳边恳求，霞终于认头了。 “那你等一会儿。” 霞说着，背过身去开始解衣带。突然又想起来似地停下来说： “还是太亮。” “所以，我已经遮暗了。” 伊织又一次拉了拉床头的窗帘，可是，只有网眼和厚布两层窗帘，即使都拉上，午后阳光的亮度还是飘荡在屋里。 “我不愿意……” “我决不看。” 伊织已经先上了床，赌咒发誓，可霞还是想不通，手持解了一半的衣带伫立着。 “真的，我这样。” 伊织用双手捂住眼睛，霞这才慢慢地脱起来。 “你没睁眼睛吧？” "Of course." 伊织斩钉截铁地回答着，两眼在手后边睁开了。透过手指缝，他看到霞正在解开衣带。像往常一样，她把和服退到肩上，一根一根地解开内衫的带子。 伊织偷偷看着，想起“至福”这个词语。至福，也许就是描写这一瞬间。 只要这样等待着，霞就会投入自己的怀抱。她简直如同掌中之玉。可是，现在还没有完全进入掌中。虽然已经是现实，可还留有未来的余地。和实在的现实相比，幸福还在未来。正当他在至福的境界中思索时，霞已经脱得只剩下一件长衫，在床脚弯下了腰。 "May I come inside?" 伊织不回答，拉开了毛毯，看到这些，霞小声自语道： "Really annoying……" 话虽然跟以前一样，可这次的语气中却充满了自己在白昼脱衣即将与男人相拥感到的困惑。 尽管表面上似乎在重复，但两次幽会并非完全相同。这已经是第三次亲近，伊织更加大胆地追求，霞也与此相应，十分奔放。 不一会儿，激情泻去，安宁与轻微的怠倦袭来。这和与笙子欢悦时不同。 现在袭来的怠倦是肉体的，与精神无缘。相反，在这怠倦之中，伊织感到十分充实，他体会到自己又一次得到了霞。 他得到了。但是霞既未表白，伊织也并未深问。 然而，从两人结合时霞的反应和她那已经撤去防御的肢体上，他可以清楚地感受到这一点。 现在，霞把脸埋在伊织的怀抱，伏身卧着。上床时系着的长衫和衬裙早已不知去向，只有全裸的身体在不断微微起伏。伊织享受了一阵这暖意，再次搂过霞，将自己的肢体伸进微微张开的大腿之间。肢体相触，霞似乎感受到压迫敏感处的刺激，下半身慢慢地扭动起来。 过去两次，伊织既没有勇气这样做，霞自己也没有余地接受这种戏爱。 经过三次肌肤相接，两个人终于可以顺其自然地相爱相亲。 不一会儿，大概是由于自己的肉体再次开始沸腾而感到羞涩，伊织欣赏着这种反应，更加用力地摇曳。 “别摇了……” 当她再次呢喃着紧靠过来时，伊织放松了压迫她敏感处所的下肢。 "what……" 霞轻轻地发出类似不满的声音，悄悄地挪开了面孔。 "How about it?" "..." "OK?" 这也是过去没能问出口的话。 “真棒极了。” 伊织耳语着。霞像是安下心来，再次把黑发遮挡着的脸凑到他的怀里。 霞的头发很柔软，一摸上去，就刷刷地从指间滑落。来的时候漂亮地梳到后面，如今已经从根部彻底披散开，遮盖着头颈和肩部。伊织把闲着的那只手抚弄着她的黑发，不断地想象。 霞在堂的家里大概也做着和这一样的动作吧！在那位叫高村章太郎的男人面前，她也像跟刚才我见到的一样奔放，也同样柔顺地趴在他的胸前吧！ 满足之后，为什么会想到这种事？也许正是因为满足了，这种想法才会浮现出来？他越是感到霞的娇好，越是记挂霞同其他男人熟稔和亲热的姿态。 这柔弱的女人肉体是如何在自己和另一个男人之间漂来荡去？“你跟他也这样做……” 他好容易才忍住冲动没有问出来。无论多么想了解，如果一旦深入到这一步，两人的关系就会崩溃。无论是男人还是女人，深究总有个界限。界限之外保持沉默，也许是维持爱情的真缔。 尽管伊织知道这些，但他心里还是燃起嫉妒之情。 “为什么……”伊织再次说了一半，闭上了嘴。 伊织好像把霞丈夫与自己的关系摆错了位置。本来霞的丈夫在先，可伊织却产生错觉，以为他是后来插足。伊织自己是奸夫，却感到嫉妒和烦躁，似乎自己是淫妇的丈夫。 "but……" 伊织像是要甩掉刚才的怪异念头，搂过了赤裸裸地趴伏在身旁的霞。 “我不放你。” 像是回答，霞悄悄凑过了脑袋。 “我不让你走。” 听伊织再次这么说，霞在怀里低声问道： “那你能一直让我留在这里吗？” "..." “实际上你挺作难吧？” 霞的声音出乎意外地清醒。 就恋爱而言，她比男人更现实。表面看来，似乎女人显得浪漫，但这只是在相爱的过程之中。如果再前进一步，女人就变得现实起来。 刚才伊织说“不放你走”，的确是他的真心，但同时也是瞬间沉溺感情爆发出来的话语，不过只是表白这种愿望。尽管实际上他缺少自信将她把握在身边，但过于可爱，男人可能会因为受到刺激而随口说出这种话。但是，女人却并不认为这是陶醉于气氛而表达的愿望。于是，她较起真来，追问你是否真的不再离开。她们信以为真，不考虑游戏的部分。女人就是如此认真地对待话语，同时也缺少通融。不过，就霞而言，她却并不认真对待伊织说的话。 “实际上你挺作难吧？”她说这话正是看穿了伊织的心。她并不是孩子，不会听到一句“我不放你走”就真的留下来。然而，“挺作难吧”这句话，却也还包含着轻微的讽刺。揶揄他既无自信，就不该随意乱说。 听到暧昧的话，女人反而会迷惑。既然缺乏现实性，就干脆别说。一瞬之间，仅仅一句话就可能在男女之间迸发出微妙的火花。 “差不多该起来了。” 霞似乎已经忘了刚才的话，环顾四周。伊织出于柔情蜜意而迸发出来的一句话，反而将霞唤醒到现实中来。 “才刚过四点呀！” “可我还得梳梳头发……” 确实，考虑到起床之后还得梳头换衣裳，实在已经没有多少时间。 “你要真想在这里，我绝对没有问题。” 伊织还在纠缠刚才那句话。 “你一走，又变成路人了。” “可我一直在想你呀！” “那你为什么一个月都不来电话？” “可能是害怕。” "Fear?" 霞微微点了点头。说道： “我是害怕我自己。” “你是说，害怕自己才没给我打电话？”伊织松开手，看着霞。 霞点点头，抬身离开怀里，仰面躺下。 “大概男人是不能理解这种心情的。” 这么武断，伊织很觉得为难，但也确实明白这一点。 “害怕自己的什么呢？其实又有什么可怕？” “要是打电话，听到你的声音，我可能会跑来的。” “那多好呀！我一直在等你呀！” “所以我为难。您和一个偷偷离家出走的女人见过一面，然后可能早已忘在脑后，可我不行。” 同样一种情爱的行为，也许对男人和女人产生不尽相同的影响。尤其是霞有丈夫，那影响可能要比伊织想象严重得多。 “见一面，就还想见你。” "me too." “不过，女人熬不过去。” 霞仰面躺着，可多半面庞被黑发遮掩着，看不清她的表情。 “一想到你，就一天二十四小时都占满了整个脑筋，不像男人那样能很快忘掉。” 伊织也模糊地感到这一点。女人可能确实认死理，可男人也并非随随便便地想女人。 “你是说，因为这原因没给我打电话？” “给你打电话，就想见你，既给你添麻烦，自己也可能控制不住。我怕自己变成那样。” 控制不住又出现什么结果呢？伊织忽然真想看看霞控制不住是个什么样子。 “不过，我们两个都想见面，见面不是很好吗？” “不是呀！” 霞依旧遮掩着面庞，决然地左右摇摇头，然后说道： “那样做，就会越轨。” "but……" 说什么越轨！霞现在就裸身躺在这里。这矛盾该如何解释？他很想问，可他对霞的爱欲又充满全身。她说一直忍耐着不见面，可现实又是见面之后以身相许。男人实在喜欢她在这种矛盾中困惑的神情。 尤其是像霞这样干脆利落的女人变得左右犹豫，实在令人感到奇异，受到挑逗。 伊织充满温柔地轻轻抚爱霞趴在床上的肉体。 “谢谢你……”他自己爱抚着对方，却突然冒出这么一句，实在有些奇妙，然而，但这确实是伊织真实的感受。霞打来电话，两人得以欢悦，这比什么都令他高兴。同时，他又了解到，一个月的空白，只是因为她害怕与她见面，伊织心中感到一阵舒畅。 “今天见到你，真高兴。” 霞再次呢喃，悄悄扭过脸去，稍微背过身去说道： “你大概觉得我是个很随便的女人吧？” “哪会呢……” “我真想不再见面，今天我本打算看你一眼就回去。” “我知道，可我想要你。” 女人可能非常需要寻找借口来伪装。即使是自己跑来见你，如果能有个借口，认定是“对方的男人太固执”或者“他不放我回来”，那么心里就会平衡。即使不能全部说服自己，心里也会轻松许多。 伊织心里决定自己主动做坏人，如果说是自己硬要强拉，霞就可以减轻一些负担，那就这么办好了。 “还能见到你吧？” 伊织伸手摸着背过脸去的霞的腰，裸露的臀部还残存着情爱的余火，微微发烫。 “别想那么多，来看我！” "..." “见面的时候，忘掉一切。” “我在家的时候，心里只是想着你。” 一瞬之间，霞的腿痉挛一动。接着一翻身，霞又把头埋在伊织怀里。 “别把我变成无赖。” "Rogue..." “是呀，我求过你的。” 她的意思也许是说，伊织是个无赖，霞受到胁迫，陷为无赖的同伙。这说法有些奇异，大概她是想说，坠入情网的有夫之妇和落入无赖魔掌的女人命运相同。 伊织不说话，只是享受着霞的情热。别人叫他无赖，实在意外，但仔细想来，又觉得不无道理。情恋也许就是一方将另一方变成无赖。尽管心里想着不能跟他干这种事，但却越陷越深，这正是情恋的宝贵之处，但也正是可怕之处。 然而，要是情爱没有危险，那从一开始就不会迸发激情。要说现在伊织和霞谁是无赖，那恐怕已经很难判断谁是谁非。霞似乎认为是她陷入了无赖的魔掌，但从伊织看来，他却像是淹没在霞魅力的汪洋大海之中。至少如果不是霞具有如此魅力，伊织也不会陷进去。 即使在具体情节上是男人伸出手，而实际上唆使男人伸手的却是女人。甚至可以说，即使不直接做什么，她的魅力本身就是一种罪孽。既然走到了这一步，现在又何必再说谁好谁坏。 不过，要是霞说伊织是无赖，伊织打算心甘情愿地接受。对男人来说，“情恋无赖”也许正是求之不得。 “那你就死心塌地当无赖吧！” 伊织低头一看，霞正在微笑。 “我想逃出去。” “已经晚了，你看……” 伊织突然用尽全身力气紧紧地抱住霞。 “啊……”霞轻声惊叫，痛苦地摇着头，可伊织不予理睬，尽力拥抱。过了一会儿，他松开手，霞长长地出口了气。 “骨头都断了。” “我就是想折断它。” “那你就是杀人犯。” “对，我本想杀了你。” “你真坏！” 霞轻轻瞪了伊织一眼，问道： "what time is it?" 她抬起上身，忽然发现露出两个膀臂，慌忙缩了回去。 “看看表！” “自己看！” “真坏……” 两个人相互揶揄，两颗心又在靠拢。看这样子，他不必担心霞会逃避无赖。伊织放心了，看了看床头柜上的钟。 “四点十分。” “哎呦，这下可坏了……” 霞想起身，又慌忙中发觉似地说： “你先起！” 这样躺下去，裸身的霞无法起身，可能会困惑。伊织不打算让她为难。 他先起来冲了个澡，然后再打开寝室的门，霞小声惊叫起来。 "Hate……" 霞正在穿袜子，只穿了一件长衫，伸开两腿坐在镜前，一只手按在袜扣上。 “那儿有没有一件衬衣？” 听到伊织的话，霞合上长衫前襟，递过了搭在床边的衬衣。 “你不冲个澡？” "No." 霞似乎不愿意让他看见自己刚起床时的面孔，扭过脸去，立即关上了门。 伊织在自己的房间里穿上衣服，想起霞上次也没冲澡就回去了。霞没冲澡倒没什么，伊织却总惦记着这是在情爱之后。这样直接回家，丈夫会不察觉吗？敏感的男人肯定会发现妻子刚才让别的男人爱抚过。 或许她回家后自己一个人洗澡。霞是有夫之妇，实在令人担心。 然而，伊织并不喜欢那种情爱之后马上到浴盆里冲澡的女人。他过去曾遇到过这种女人，听到哗哗的水声，感到很败兴。如此看来，看到她情爱之后直接穿上衣服，他感到这是她珍惜和留恋情爱，心里感到高兴。 一次宴席上，一位年过七旬的老妓曾经说：“如今的女孩儿和男人一起温存，然后马上就冲澡，真不明白她们的心境。我们特别珍惜男人的气味，整个晚上保持那身子睡觉。” 要是霞也是出于这种心情而不冲澡，那倒令人喜悦。 不过，伊织刚才从门缝里看到，霞的身姿实在妩媚。霞伸开腿坐在地上，摆出一付男人的架势，真够婀娜。虽说是为了穿袜子，可坐在地上，伸开两腿的姿势实在挑逗人。霞大概就是采取那种姿势穿上白色长袜。正是因为霞穿着硬挺的白袜，系上四个小扣，她伸开双腿席地而坐的姿势才更加显得妖冶。 霞梳好头，穿上衣服，在客厅露面时，已经过了五点。她穿着蓝色结城和服，系着浅灰衣带。那姿态中已经看不出情爱的痕迹。 不过，夕阳依然明亮。霞像是要遮挡，手放在额头上。 “你喝咖啡吧？” “饶了我吧！我这就告辞。” 伊织抬头站了起来。总觉得匆匆忙忙。不过，本来时间有限，也是无奈。霞拿起手袋，伊织只好送她到门口。 “还能见到你吧？” "..." 霞不出声，点了点头。 “下次咱们去奈良。” "when?" “六月初，你上次不是说想去吗？” 霞转过脸想了想。头发已经梳上去，露出半截的耳朵边散落着几根头发。 “住一晚，好吗？” “我再打电话来。” 霞像是要拂去瞬间的迷惘，转过脸来，低下了头。 "Sorry." 伊织点头的同时，蓝色的和服已经一晃之间穿过房门，消失在视线之外。 公寓沉重的门已经关上。伊织喘了口气，白昼的情爱到此结束。