Chapter 28 Chapter Twenty Eight

In my first week in Hollywood, I imagined it as a land of dancing flies.An interesting thought, at least to me, even if it does feel a bit condescending. The dance fly is an insect, the female dance fly eats her own kind, the act of mating stimulates her appetite, and the male dance fly dies at the last moment of the mating orgasm. But in a miraculous process of evolution, the male dancer fly has learned to carry a tiny bit of food, wrapped in a web that ejaculates from his own body.When the bloodthirsty female rips the web, he climbs on her to mate and then flees quickly.The more evolved male dancing flies only need to spin a web to wrap around pebbles or a small piece of garbage.

In one great evolutionary leap, the male dancer flies became a Hollywood producer.When I mentioned the idea to Maromar, he grimaced, gave me an unkind look, and laughed. "Okay," he said, "do you want them to bite your goddamn head off just for an ass?" In the beginning, pretty much everyone I met was the type to lick other people's feet in order to succeed.But when I stayed around for a while, I was blown away by the passion that the people who made the film had.They love it so much.Writers' assistants, secretaries, corporate finance, cinematographers, prop men, technical crews, actors and actresses, directors and even producers, they all say "that movie I made" and they all think of themselves as artists.The only thing I've noticed that doesn't say that but is related to the movie is the screenwriter.

Maybe it's because everyone wants to change the script, damn it, wants to put their own ideas in it, even the female writer's assistant has to change a line or two, and the wife of a character actor even rewrites her husband And the next day he'll say that's the right way to do it, and of course, the rewritten part is just for showmanship and doesn't move the whole movie.It's an infuriating job for a writer, and everyone wants his job. I found cinema to be pseudo-art.The medium itself is powerful enough that, using a combination of photography, costumes, music, and simple stories, people without any talent can create.Artworks may be too much to say, but they at least make things good enough to give them importance and some kind of value.

Movies can bring great joy and touch you emotionally, but they can't teach you anything.They can't really figure out the depth of a character like a novel, they can't teach you like a book, they can make you feel, but they can't make you understand life.Cinema is so magical, it can give value to anything.For some, it can be a drug, a harmless version of cocaine.For others, it can be effective healing.Who wouldn't want to document their life or future possibilities the way they want them to be? Anyway, that's about as far as I've studied the world of cinema, at least then.After I myself had been bitten twice by a dancing fly, I felt that perhaps this view was too cruel and snobby.

The idea of ​​making a movie seemed to grab everyone.Maromar loves making movies with such passion that all those who work in the film industry—director, star, chief cinematographer, and studio boss—struggle trying to control them. I'm well aware that movies are the dominant art form of our time, and I'm jealous.On college campuses, college students no longer write novels, but make their own films.It dawned on me that the use of film wasn't even art at all, but a form of therapy.Everyone wants to tell their own life story, feelings and thoughts.This magic is less powerful in books, paintings, and music. How many books are published for this reason?Movies combine all art forms in an irresistible way.With such a potent weapon, it's simply impossible to make a bad movie.You can be the worst jerk in the world and still make a fun movie.No wonder there's so much nepotism in the film industry—you can have your nephew write the script, make your girlfriend a star, and your son the studio boss.Movies can make anyone a successful artist, and there is no more silent Milton.

Why don't actors murder directors or producers?Why didn't the director murder the boss of the film company?Why didn't the screenwriter kill the director?Over the years, there must have been plenty of reasons to do so, both financial and artistic.The explanation can only be that the process of making the film purifies people of their violent tendencies and heals them. Will there come a day when the most effective cure for emotionally disturbed people is to make a film about themselves?God, think about those people in the film industry, they are either crazy or close to crazy - actors are absolutely crazy.

In the future, when everyone sits at home and watches movies made by his friends so as not to go crazy, movies will save him.And so, in the end, every jerk can be an artist.Here, bankers, clothing makers, lawyers...etc, decide what movies are going to be made, and they don't even have the kind of madness that helps create art.So, even if every jerk came to make a movie, what would there be to lose?Then we no longer need psychiatrists or geniuses, and everyone can be an artist. All those people, totally unworthy of being loved.They never understand that they have to work hard to be loved by others.They're narcissistic, childish, and only love themselves, and now they can project their inner image onto a lovable character on screen, making them lovable.Of course, you could say that all artists do this, think of the great writer Osano who pampered himself in his private life.But at least they still have a bit of flair, something in their work that gives pleasure or invites a deeper understanding.

But in film, without talent, without any talent, anything is possible.You can take a rich scumbag and make his life story, and without any help from great directors, great writers, great actors, etc., just use the magic of cinema to make him a hero.The thing about cinema for all these people is that it can be done without talent, but that doesn't mean talent can't make it better. I worked very closely with Malomar on the script, so we were often together.Sometimes I would stay late into the night at his mansion, but it always made me uncomfortable.Too big for one person, I think.The huge furnished room, the tennis court, the swimming pool, and a building with a screening room.One day he suggested a new movie, and I told him I didn't like movies that much, and he was kind of indignant, and I guess my arrogance was showing.

"You know, if you weren't so contemptuous of movies, our scripts would be much better," he said. This sentence stung me.One, I'm proud of my good manners, I don't show that; Two, I have a professional pride in my work, and he says I'm fucking; plus, I've grown to respect Marlowe Mal, who is the producer and director, could have made his own way when we were working together, but he never did.When he suggested changes to the script, he was usually right, and if he was wrong, and I could prove it by arguing, he would defer to me.All in all, he didn't fit my preconceived idea of ​​a land of dancing flies at all.

So that night, instead of watching a movie or writing a script, we had a big fight.The more I told him what I thought about cinema and its practitioners, the more Maromare became less and less frustrated, and eventually, he began to smile. "You talk like some bitch who can't find a man anymore," Maromar said. "Movies are the latest art, and you're worried that your profession will become obsolete. You're just plain jealous." "Movies are nothing compared to novels," I said. "Films will never do what books do." "That's irrelevant," Maromar said. "Movies are something that people want now and want in the future. You've only been here a few months and you're judging everyone. You look down on all of us. But it's the same in every line, of course people in the film industry are fucking crazy, they cheat and use sex like barter, but so what? What you're missing is all of them, the producers and the writers , the director and the actors, they've all been through a lot of pain. They've spent years learning the craft of the trade and then they've worked harder than anyone I've ever known, and they've put themselves into it. Whatever you call it, make a good movie It takes talent, even talent. Those actors and actresses are like goddamn foot soldiers, they'll die in battle, they won't get big roles in bed. They have to prove themselves as artists and know themselves. Of course, there are some assholes and Crazy cast their boyfriend or girlfriend as the main character and ruin a five million dollar movie. But they can't last long. You also criticize the producers and the director. I don't need to defend the director, that's the worst in the industry Difficult job, but producers also have a function, they're like lion tamers in a zoo. Do you know what it's like to make a film? First, you have to suck up to ten members of the studio's finance committee ;and then you gotta be the parent of some fucking crazy star; you gotta keep the crew happy or they'll kill you with feigned sickness and overtime; Moxie Whataberg, but I admit that he has a financial talent that can help the film industry continue to grow. I respect this talent as much as I despise his artistic taste. As a producer and Director, I have to fight him all the time. I think even you will admit that two or three of my films can be called art."

"This is at least half bullshit," I said. Maromar said: "You always look down on producers, but without them, the movie wouldn't be done. It took them more than two years to 'kiss' over a hundred different older babies—financers, actors, directors." , writers - to make it happen. Producers also have to help them change 'diapers' and all kinds of shit will be poured up their noses and into their brains. Maybe that's why they're so bad taste. But many of them still believe in art more than talent or fantasy. There will never be a producer who does not show up at the Oscars to collect his trophy." "That's just ego," I said, "not the art of faith." "You and your goddamn art," said Maromar. "Sure, only one movie in a hundred is worth seeing, but what about the books?" "Books have different functions," I said defensively, "films have only form." Maromar shrugged: "You are really a stubborn old man." "Movies are not art," I said, "just magic tricks performed for children." I was actually skeptical myself. Maromar sighed: "Perhaps you are right. Every form is magic rather than art. It is a deception to make people forget that they are dying." That's not true, but I didn't fight it.Since Maromar's heart attack he's had problems, I don't want to say it's clouded his judgment, but for me art makes sense of how to live. He didn't convince me, but I did look around with less prejudice after that.He's right about one thing, I'm jealous of the movie industry - the easy work, the rewards are so lucrative, the fame is dizzying.I hate being alone in my room writing a novel.Beneath my contempt was a childish envy, and cinema was something I could never be a part of, I had neither the talent nor the temperament.I will always despise it to some degree, but more for my pride than my morals. I've read all about Hollywood, and when I say Hollywood, I mean the movies.I've heard writers - Osano in particular - go back east and curse the studios, calling the producers the world's worst brats, and the company presidents the most ruthless apes ever. , the most arrogant and rude people.Those corporations are bad, bossy, criminal, and make the Mafia look like nuns of mercy. When Duran took me to my first meeting with Maromar and Hulinan, I was confident I could get it all done.I saw them right away.Hulinan is simple, but Maromar is more complicated than I imagined.Duran, of course, is just a joker.To be honest, I like Duran and Maromar, but hated Hu Linan the first time I saw him.When Hu Linan asked me to take a picture with Klino, I almost told him to fuck himself.Klinor didn't show up on time, so I had an excuse, and I hate waiting for anyone.I'm not mad at them for being late, why should they be mad at me for not waiting? The fascination of Hollywood is these different kinds of dancing flies. Vasectomized young men with film cassettes under their arms, studios full of scripts and cocaine, looking for talented young girls and guys to audition and fuck them at the same time, hoping to make a movie.Then there are producers with offices and secretaries, with a $100,000 development budget, who call agents or casting agencies to cast actors.These producers have at least one self-produced feature, usually a low-budget stupid film that hasn't earned back the cost of the film, and ends up being played on an airplane or in a drive-thru.These producers will pay a weekly newspaper in California to promote their film as one of the top ten movies of the year, or place a soft ad in Variety saying that the film was the top box office in Uganda. Exceeded, the truth is that it was never shown there.There are often signed photos of big stars on these producers' desks, and the lettering on the photo frame is "love".They spend the whole day interviewing beautiful actresses, they work very hard, and they have no idea that for the producers, it's just to kill the whole afternoon, or with luck, someone will give them a blowjob so they can have dinner The appetite is better.If they had a crush on a certain actress, they would take her to lunch at the studio restaurant and introduce her to the company bosses who happened to be passing by, and those bosses went through the same thing in their poorer days, so As long as it's not too much, it will stop and do a favor.The bosses don't play these tricks anymore, they are too busy, unless the girl is very special, in that case, she may have a chance. Girls and guys know the game, know it's almost a routine, but they still hope to hit their luck, so they go to producers, directors, or big stars to try their luck.If they really know the business and have some brains, they will never place their hopes on a writer.I now finally understand how Osano felt. But I always knew that was part of the trap, plus the money, the lavish suites, the sycophantic and intoxicating setting of the production house and the enormity of making a big movie, so I never took the bait.If I was horny, I would fly to the casino to gamble until I calmed down, and Cary would always try to send a classy whore to my room, but I would always say no.It's not that I'm vain, of course I'm tempted, but the guilt is too much, and I do like gambling more. I was in Hollywood for two weeks, playing tennis, going out to dinner and parties with Duran and Maromare.Parties are fun, and at one of them, I met a former star who had been my masturbating fantasies as a teenager.She must be fifty, but still looks good with the help of facelifts and cosmetic procedures.But she was a bit fatter, her face swollen from alcohol.She gets drunk and tries to fuck all the men at the party, but no one pays her any attention.This is the girl that millions of passionate young people have fantasized about.I thought it was kind of funny, but the truth is, it also frustrates me.The party is okay, with familiar faces, actors and actresses, confident agents, charismatic producers and strong directors.I gotta say, they're definitely more charming and fun at parties than I am. I also like this warm climate.I love the palm trees on the streets of Beverly Hills, and the movie theaters that hang around in Westwood, and the young college kids who do bullfighting movies with really, really pretty girls.I understand why the novelists of the 1930s "sold themselves".Why spend five years writing a novel and only make two thousand dollars?You could have lived this life and made the same amount of money a week. During the day I worked in the office, had meetings with Maromar to discuss the script, had lunch in the restaurant, and wandered off to the set to watch them shoot.On the set, I am always intoxicated by the dedication of the actors.I was really in awe once when a young couple did a scene in which the man murders his girlfriend during sex.After filming, the two hugged each other tightly and cried, as if they were really the protagonists of a tragedy.They hugged and left the set. Lunches at restaurants were also fun, meeting people who were in the movies, and everyone seemed to have read my book, or so they said.To my surprise, there aren't many actors who are really good listeners.The producer is the one who talks a lot, the director is always absent-minded, usually accompanied by three or four assistants.The people who enjoyed it the most seemed to be the crew.But life is boring, not bad, but I miss New York, Valerie and the kids, dinners with Osano.On nights like that, I would hop on a plane to Las Vegas in the evening, sleep there, and fly back early in the morning. One day, at the production company, I had already traveled from New York to Los Angeles, and Los Angeles to New York and back several times.Duran invited me to a party at his rented villa in Malibu, a charity party—film critics, writers, and production crews would mingle with actors, actresses, and directors.I had nothing better to do, and I didn't really want to go to Las Vegas, so I went.There, I met Janelle for the first time.