Chapter 94 Chapter Thirty-Two

Seven days have passed since Prince Andrew regained consciousness at the Borodino first aid station.During this time, he was almost constantly in a coma.The high fever and inflammation of the wounded intestines would have killed him, according to his fellow physicians.But on the seventh day he ate a piece of bread with relish and drank a little tea, and the doctor noticed that his fever had subsided.That morning, he regained consciousness.The first night after leaving Moscow, which was quite warm, Prince Andrei stayed in the carriage; but at the village of Mekirch the wounded himself asked to be carried out of the carriage and to be given some tea.Prince Andrew groaned loudly from the excruciating pain caused by the carrying into the house, and he lost consciousness again.After he was carried to the camp bed, he lay motionless with his eyes closed for a long time.Then he opened his eyes and asked in a low voice, "Where's the tea?" He surprised the doctor by remembering such little things in his life.He felt for the pulse and was surprised and displeased to find it improved.The doctor found this dissatisfied, because he concluded from experience that Prince Andrew could not live any longer, and that if he did not die now, it would be more painful to die later.Kimoshen, the red-nosed major of Prince Andrew's regiment, was also wounded in the leg at Borodino.They met in Moscow and were transported away together.They were accompanied by the doctor, the prince's valet, his coachman, and two orderlies.

They brought tea to Prince Andrew.He drank his tea in big gulps.Looking at the door with burning eyes, it seemed that he was trying to understand and remember something. "No. Is Kimoshen here?" he asked.Kimoshen climbed up to him from the stool. "Here I am, my lord." "How does it hurt?" "Me? Nothing. How are you?" Prince Andrew fell into thought again, as if remembering something. "Can you get the book?" he asked. "what book?" "The Gospel! I don't have it." The doctor promised to find him a copy and asked him how he felt.Prince Andrei answered the doctor's questions reluctantly and calmly, and then said that he wanted to put a cushion under him, because he felt sorry and the wound hurt terribly.The doctor and his attendants took off the military overcoat covering his body, smelled the stench of the rotting wound, frowned, and inspected the terrible place.Dissatisfied with the original dressing, the doctor changed the bandage and turned the wounded man over, causing him to groan again in pain, lose consciousness, and talk nonsense.He kept asking for the Gospels to be brought under him.

"What does it cost you!" he said, "I don't have this book, you go and get it, and keep it by my side for a while." He said pitifully. The doctor went out on the porch to wash his hands. "Hmph, you heartless fellows!" said the doctor, scolding his servant who poured water on his hands, "if I'm just negligent, you let him sleep on the wound. It's very painful, I really don't know How could he stand it?" "Jesus Christ is on top, we seem to have been padded," said the servant. For the first time Prince Andrew understood where he was, what had happened, and remembered how he was wounded, how he was wounded, and how he asked to be carried into the hut when the carriage stopped in the village of Mekirch .He passed out from the pain again, and later regained consciousness after drinking tea in the hut.He recalled everything that had happened to him, especially the scene in the first aid station.Seeing the suffering of a person he did not like then gave him new thoughts of happiness.Although the thought was vague, it filled his mind now.He remembered that now he had a new happiness, and this happiness was connected with the "Gospel", so he wanted a "Gospel".But the bad posture they put him in to sleep on the wound and turning him over again made him lose consciousness again.The third time he woke up, it was already the dead of night.Everyone around is asleep.A cricket chirped outside on the porch, people shouted and sang in the street, cockroaches rustled on tables and ikons, and a large autumn fly fluttered around the head of his bed and the big candle beside it.

He's a little out of his mind.A healthy person can usually think, feel and recall many things at the same time, but he has the ability to choose a thought or phenomenon and focus on it.A healthy person can wake up from meditation, say hello to those who come in, and then return to the original train of thought.Prince Andrew's head was a little out of order in this respect.His mind was more active and lucid than before, but not under the control of his own will.His mind is filled with all kinds of thoughts and concepts.At times his thoughts were unprecedentedly active, clear, and deep, which in health were impossible; but sometimes an accident interrupted his thinking, and then it was impossible to return to its original train of thought.

"Yes, there is a kind of happiness that cannot be taken away from people unfolded in front of me," he thought lying in the quiet and dark cabin, staring forward with wide-eyed and dull eyes, "this is a power beyond the physical , a happiness that transcends material influences, a happiness of the heart, a happiness of love! Everyone can know it, but only God can recognize and determine it. Then, how does God establish this law? Why does the son . . . " All of a sudden, Prince Andrei heard (I don't know whether he was hallucinating or really hearing) a soft whisper repeating "Ch-Ki-Ki" and "Ki-Ki" over and over again, and then It's "split-base-split-base" again, and "base-base" again.In the midst of this muffled music, Prince Andrei felt that in his face, in the center of his face, rose a strange and ethereal building made of needles and sticks.He felt (uncomfortably) that he had to struggle to keep his balance lest the building collapse; but it collapsed, and then slowly rose again amidst the melodious music. "Rise up! Rise up! Rise up!" said Prince Andrew to himself.He listened to the whispers, felt the needle building rise, occasionally saw a circle of red light around the candle, heard the rustling of cockroaches and the buzzing of a fly hitting the pillow and his face.Every time the fly touched his face it gave him a burning sensation; but at the same time he was amazed that the fly hit the building in his face without knocking it down.But there is another important thing besides this.It was a white thing in the doorway, a sphinx, and it was squeezing him too.

"But maybe it's my shirt on the table," thought Prince Andrei, "and here's my leg, and that's the door; but why is it always going up-up, always split-cut-cut Base, base-base, split base-split base-split base..." "Enough, stop, stop!" Prince Andrew begged someone painfully.Suddenly his thoughts and feelings became very clear and alive again. "Yes, love," he thought again quite clearly, "but not the love for what purpose and for what reason, but the love I experienced for the first time before I died, the love that A love that can be produced even in the face of enemies. The kind of love that I experience is the essence of the heart, it does not need a specific object. I also experience this kind of happiness now. Love others, love enemies. Love everything, love everywhere God. You can love a dear one with human love, but you can only love an enemy with the love of God. So when I feel that I love that person, I experience great joy. How is he? He is alive Well... Human love can change from love to hate; but God's love never changes. Neither death nor anything else can kill it. It's the nature of the heart. How many people have I hated in my life. I have never loved or hated anyone so much as I have loved her.” He thought of Natasha vividly, not as before, only of her loveliness which he liked, but for the first time he thought of her soul. .He understands her feelings, her pain, her shame and her regret.Now for the first time he understood the cruelty of his refusal, how cruel it was to see him break with her. "I wish I had a chance to see her again. Look into her eyes again and say..."

"Che-chi-chi-ki, ki-ki, ki-chi-bang!" A fly hit him... His attention was immediately diverted to another world of reality and coma, where something was going on something special.In this world, buildings still rise without falling down, something still stretches, candles still glow, and the shirt-sphinx still lies in the doorway; but otherwise, hearing There was a creak, a cold wind blew in, and a new white sphinx appeared at the door.The sphinx had what he imagined to be Natasha's pale face and shining eyes. "Oh, what a pain this continuous stupor is!" thought Prince Andrey, trying to get the face out of his mind.But this face actually appeared in front of him, and it was getting closer and closer.Prince Andrei wanted to return to the world that had been pure fantasy, but he could do nothing, and he fell into a coma again.The soft murmur continued evenly, something oppressed him, stretched out, and a strange face appeared in front of him.Prince Andrei tried to regain consciousness; his body moved, his ears suddenly rang, his eyes darkened, he lost consciousness like a man drowning.When he awoke, Natasha in flesh and blood, whom he most wanted to love with the newly awakened love of God, knelt before him.He understood that this was the very real Natasha, and he was not surprised, but secretly pleased.Natasha knelt before him, looking at him in terror and stupor (she was unable to move), restraining a burst of wailing.She was pale and motionless.Only the lower half of his face trembled slightly.

Prince Andrew breathed a sigh of relief, smiled, and held out his hand to her. "It's you?" said he. "I'm so happy!" Natasha quickly and carefully moved her knees closer to him, carefully took his hand, bent down, and touched his lips lightly. "Forgive me!" she whispered, raising her head, her eyes fixed on him, "forgive me!" "I love you," said Prince Andrew. "forgive me……" "Forgive what?" asked Prince Andrew. "Forgive me for what I have done...," Natasha broke out in a barely audible voice, kissing his hand softly again and again.

"I love you more than ever," said Prince Andrew, lifting her face to see her eyes more clearly. Those eyes, brimming with tears of happiness, looked at him with shyness, sympathy, joy, and affection.Natasha described it as gaunt and pale, with puffy lips, not only unattractive, but downright terrifying.But Prince Andrei did not see the face, he only saw the beautiful shining eyes.Someone behind them was talking. The footman Peter was fully awake at this time, and he woke up the doctor.Kimosin hadn't fallen asleep because of the pain in his legs. He had seen the scene in front of him a long time ago, huddled on the stool, and tried his best to cover his naked body with the quilt.

"What's the matter?" asked the doctor, sitting up in bed, "please go, miss." At this time someone knocked on the door.When the countess found her daughter absent, she sent her maid to look for her. Natasha was like a sleepwalker who was awakened in her sleep.She left the room, went back to her own room, wept bitterly, and fell on the bed. From that day on, during the journey of the Rostovs, Natasha never left the wounded Andrei at every place of rest and overnight.The doctor had to admit that he didn't expect a girl to be so strong and so skilled in caring for the wounded.

Although the countess shuddered at the thought that Prince Andrew might die in the arms of his daughter (the doctor said it was quite possible), she could not forbid Natasha to do so.Although the wounded Prince Andrew and Natasha are now very close again, and if he recovers, the two young people may resume their engagement, but no one mentions this, especially Natasha and Prince Andrey himself , because the question of life and death is not only for Prince Andrew, but also for all of Russia, and in this case other questions are out of the question.