Chapter 6 Foreign country

I had known the Blands for a long time before I discovered that they had no connection to Ferdy Abestein.Ferdy must have been in his late fifties when I first met him.He's in his seventies as I write this story, but doesn't look like he's changed much.His thick, curly hair was very disheveled and completely white, but his body was still toned.People say that he was a handsome man when he was young, and there is no doubt about this.He still has a handsome Semitic face, with bright black eyes and piercing eyes.How many women's peaceful hearts have been disturbed by these eyes.He was tall, with smooth skin and an oval face.He was very well dressed.He is now in evening dress and, in my opinion, still the most handsome man.He pinned a large black pearl in front of his shirt, and on his fingers were platinum rings with sapphires.Perhaps his attire is a bit ostentatious, but you feel that it is the only way to show his character, otherwise he is not who he is.

"I am an Oriental after all," he said, "and there is in me some savage taste for luxury." I have often thought that the legendary life of Ferdi Abestein would be a perfect candidate for a biography.He was not a great man, but within limits he made his life a work of art.His life was a masterpiece of art in miniature, like a Persian miniature, precious because of its beauty.Unfortunately, the canvas of this painting is too small, and the text on the canvas is broken and incomplete.The characters recorded in these texts are also old now, and will soon pass away.His life experience is extraordinary, but he is unwilling to record his experience in words.He sees his past as a delicacy that is entirely his own and not to be coveted by others.He is also a very cautious person.I don't know of anyone other than Max Beerbohm who can fairly judge this question.In today's cruel world, no one else can look at these trivial things with tenderness and feel sadness from these meaningless things.I think that if Max was in my position, he would be able to see Ferdi's inner world faster and more deeply than I can.But I just don't know if he will cast his keen eyes on such a place.He was a natural fit for Max to write and describe.So who will illustrate this elegant biography?I think maybe only Aubrey Beardsley would qualify.In this way, it is possible to erect a bronze monument supported on three points.In this way, this memorial is wrapped in exquisite translucent amber, shining with the sun and moon, and being with the river.

What Ferdy conquered was the social scene, and the people he dealt with were all high-society figures.He was born in South Africa and did not come to London until he was twenty.At first he worked for a while on the stock exchange.But his father left him a large inheritance after his death.So he quit the business and became a playboy.British society at that time was still closed, and it was not easy for a Jew to break through many barriers and squeeze into this circle.But to Ferdi, those obstacles were as easily crossed as the walls of Jericho.He was handsome and very rich; he was a sports-loving and sociable man.He has a mansion on Kesheng Street.The interior was furnished with the finest French furniture, a French cook was employed, and a Brougham convertible was purchased.His first steps in life were wonderful, and it must have been fascinating to write about it.But these past events are lost in the dark abyss of time.When I first met him he already had a reputation as one of the handsomest men in London.I first met him in a stately mansion in Norfolk.At that time, I was already a well-known young writer, and the hostess loved literature, so she invited me to her house as a guest.But to my surprise, the guests present were all prominent celebrities, and such a scene really stunned me.There were sixteen guests, and I felt shy and lonely among these ministers, ladies, and members of the House of Lords.I knew nothing about who or what they were talking about.They were polite to me, but cold.I realized that I had become a burden to the hostess.That's when Ferdy rescued me.He sat with me, chatted with me, and walked with me.He talked to me about plays and novels when he knew I was a writer.He made me happy by talking to me about France, Germany and Spain, knowing that I had spent a lot of time on the continent.He seems to really enjoy being with me.He made me feel like we were so different from the other guests, and made me feel a little swayed.We talked mostly about spiritual matters, making the other guests talk about political events, the scandal of someone's divorce, and a growing reluctance to hunt pheasants seem a little ridiculous.If in the depths of his soul Ferdy had a slight disdain for the English gentlemen around us, I believe he showed it only to me.Now that I think about it, it's hard to say that this wasn't a sign of his sophistication. He probably used this very subtle way to please me.I think, of course he is willing to show his charm.He made me grateful to him by talking to me graciously.But if he is not really interested in literature and art, there is absolutely no need for him to spend such brains on an unknown little writer.I am a writer and he is a Jew, and among these guests I felt that he and I were essentially aliens.But his calm attitude makes me envious.He was at ease among these people, and all the guests called him Ferdy.He always seemed to be in high spirits and high spirits.He always speaks witty words, one joke after another.Everyone liked him because he kept everyone laughing and never embarrassed the listener by talking about something they didn't understand.He brought a touch of oriental romance to the party, but subtly made the guests feel that it was a British style.As long as he is present, the atmosphere will definitely be cheerful, and there will never be an embarrassing situation in the cold.And this kind of cold scene will appear in British gatherings from time to time, which makes both the host and the guests very disappointed.When the silence is imminent, Ferdy Abestein will immediately talk about a topic that everyone is interested in.He is such a treasure that any party cannot do without.He always had endless Jewish stories to tell.He is also very good at imitating.He often took on the accent of a Jewish rabbi, imitating the Jews perfectly.He shrank his neck, showing a sly expression, and his tone became oily.He became either a rabbi, or an old cloth merchant, or a shrewd traveling salesman, or a fat madam in Frankfurt.His performance is as good as the drama.Since he is a Jew himself, although I was amused by his performance, I always felt uncomfortable.I find it difficult to appreciate the humor with which he cruelly makes fun of his own countrymen.I later found out that satirizing Jews was his specialty.Wherever I saw him, sooner or later I heard him tell some recent Jewish joke.

But when I first met him, the stories he told me had nothing to do with Jews.This story left a deep impression on me, and I will never forget it, but for various reasons, I have never had the opportunity to tell this story to others.I relate the story here because, though it is an occasional oddity, the characters involved are not ordinary.I think the names of these characters should at least appear in the social history of the Victorian era, otherwise it is really sad.He told me that when he was very young, he was once invited to visit a family in the countryside.And Mrs. Langtry was one of the guests.At that time, she was like a flower like a jade, as beautiful as a fairy, and she was very popular.Coincidentally, the Duchess of Somerset also lives not far away.She was once voted beauty queen in the Ellington Beauty Pageant.He is also somewhat familiar with the Duchess of Somerset.He suddenly thought that it would be very interesting if he could bring these two women together.He told Mrs. Langtry about his idea.Madame readily agreed.He immediately wrote to the Duchess, asking if she would allow him to bring this famous beauty to her.It was fitting, he said, to have the loveliest beauty of the age (then the 1880s) come to see her, the loveliest beauty of all time. "Bring her by all means," returned the Duchess, "but I warn you that she will be very shocked when she sees me." They set off in a four-wheeled carriage drawn by two horses. up.Mrs. Langtry wore a blue hat that was fastened close to her head, from which hung a long ribbon.The hat brought out her stunning head shape and made her blue eyes even bluer.The hostess was an old, ugly little woman with small round eyes.She surveyed the radiant female guest with mocking eyes.They drank tea and chatted.Then they went back in the carriage again.In the carriage Mrs. Lantry said nothing.When Ferdy looked at her, she was weeping silently.When they got back to the lodgings, Mrs. Langtry threw herself into her room, and did not come down to supper that night.For the first time in her life, she realized that her beauty was gone.

Ferdy asked me to leave a mailing address.He invited me to dinner within a few days of my return to London.There are only six guests at the banquet.One was an American woman married to an English nobleman, one was a Swedish painter, and there was an actress and a famous critic.The host entertained us with good food and wine, and the conversation was light and full of wisdom.After dinner, at the request of the guests, Ferdi played the piano.But he only plays Viennese waltzes.I found out later that playing Viennese dances was his specialty.The airy, melodic, sensual music of the tunes befits his flamboyant yet discreet personality.His gestures on the keys are very graceful, not at all artificial, and the tunes he plays are soft and pleasant.This was the first time I had dinner with him.We have had dinner together many times since then.He entertains me two or three times a year.As time went by, I saw him more and more at other people's parties.This is due to the fact that my social status has risen while his may have dropped a bit.In recent years, I've sometimes caught him at parties thrown by other Jews, too.His large, watery eyes sometimes gazed at his fellow Jews for long periods of time.I think I can see it in his eyes, he must be kindly thinking how much the world has changed and be happy about it.Some people say he's a bit arrogant, but I don't see it that way.What makes him feel that way is that he used to only hang out with the elite.He is a person who really loves art, and his happiest thing is to associate with artists.He was always respectful when he was with the artists.But when he was with those prominent figures, he made jokes and made jokes, as if he didn't care about their prominent identities.His taste in art was so refined that many of his friends were happy to ask him for advice on it.He was one of the first masters able to appreciate antique furniture.He has rescued many precious furniture from the attic of the old mansion, and restored them to a prominent place in the living room.He likes to visit the auction houses and give advice to ladies who want to snap up a beautiful item right away so that their investment is worth it.He is both wealthy and good-natured.He loves to patronize art venues.If he appreciates the talent of a young painter, he will do everything possible to get him a job; if he hears that a famous violinist has come to a rich family, and he cannot listen to him play on other occasions, he will agree to come to him. Listen to this rich man's house.But he never disappoints those rich friends.His appreciation level is very high, no Mr. Nan Guo can cover his ears.Although he is polite to those with mediocre musical talents, he never flatters them casually.He also often gives concerts at his home.Although the guests invited to these concerts are carefully selected and the number is not large, the guests all feel that his concerts are very enjoyable.

He never married in his life. "I'm a man of the world," he said, "I consider myself unbiased and able to accommodate women of all tastes. But I still can't marry a non-Jewish woman. It's like some men It’s okay to go to the opera in a tuxedo, of course, but I just can’t do it.” "Then why don't you marry a Jewish woman?" (I haven't heard this conversation from him, but he's a free-spirited guy, and I'm guessing he talks about it that way.) "Jewish women are so fertile that if you marry a Jewish woman you'll have a lot of kids. Think of the world full of little Edges, little Jacobs, little Rebeccas, little Leahs, little Rachels, I can't bear it."

But he has a lot of romantic affairs, and he is still sexy now when he was romantic and suave.He was a love interest when he was young.I have heard elderly ladies speak of how handsome and charming he was back then.They recalled a woman who had fascinated him.I guessed that the woman must have been fascinated by his inner beauty, while others didn't see it, and blamed him for being too handsome.I also heard that some of the most famous ladies whose names I now only read about in biographies also had affairs with him, which intrigued me.I have also seen these noble ladies who inherited the estates and titles of their deceased husbands on the campus of Eton College and at the bridge table.They nag their grandkids or they're terrible at poker.Seeing them, I couldn't help thinking of the sinful past when they were fascinated by that handsome Jewish boy.Of Ferdie's many affairs, the most notorious was his relationship with the Duchess of Hereford.She was one of the loveliest, boldest and most stylish beauties of the end of Queen Victoria's reign.Their affair lasted for twenty years.He must have also hooked up with other women during this period, but their relationship remained stable and approved by others.The two eventually ended their dysfunctional relationship.And while he lost an old mistress, he gained a loyal friend, which is enough to prove his sophistication and tact.I remember meeting both of them once at a lunch not too long ago.She is a tall old woman with a condescending air, but her aging face is heavily made up.The lunch was held at the Carlton Café, and Ferdy was the host, but he was a few minutes late.He's going to serve the guests a pre-dinner cocktail.The Duchess told him that everyone had already drunk.

"Oh, your eyes are so bright, I really envy you." The old woman, who had painted her face the color of red ochre, beamed with joy. My youth passed quickly, and I became a middle-aged man.It may not be long before I can call myself old.I write books and screenplays, I travel and my life experiences grow.I've been in love and then out of that relationship.In these days, Ferdi and I often meet at various gatherings.The First World War broke out, and millions of people died in the flames.People's lives have also undergone tremendous changes.Ferdy hated the war, and he was too old to be used as cannon fodder.His German name was very embarrassing for him.But he acted cautiously, trying to avoid people's attention, so as not to humiliate himself.His old friends still keep in touch with him.His life was solitary, but decent enough, and not entirely isolated.The war is over and peace has returned to life.He mustered up the courage to adapt himself to the new way of life.Now there are no such strict boundaries between all social classes, and all kinds of gatherings are full of people.But Ferdi has adapted to this kind of life.He still tells stories that make fun of Jews, he still plays Strauss' charming waltz, and he still likes to go to the auction house and tell the nouveau riche what to buy.I lived overseas for a long time after the war.But as soon as I get back to London, I can see Ferdy.He seems a little mysterious now.He did not succumb to the arrangements of fate.He was never seriously ill either, and always seemed to have endless energy.He still dresses neatly, is interested in everything, and still has a quick mind.People are still willing to invite him to dinner, but the reasons for inviting him are completely different from the old days.Now people are willing to invite him, just because he can enliven the atmosphere of the banquet.He also still gives elegant small concerts at his mansion on Cursing Street.

It was after I was invited to a dinner party that I made these discoveries, which led to the collection of his stories and the novel you see here.We were having dinner at a mansion on Hill Street.This is a party with many guests.After dinner the women all went upstairs to rest.Ferdi and I were sitting right next to each other.He told me that Lee Makart was coming to his house to play next Friday night, and he invited me to the concert. "I'm very sorry," I said, "but next Friday I'm going out to Bland's." "Which Brand?" "They live in Sussex, in a place called Tilby."

"I didn't know you'd know them." He looked at me a little strangely, then smiled.I don't know why he is smiling. "Oh, I've known them for years. It's nice to live in their home." "Adolf is my nephew." "Is it Sir Adolphus?" "He's a Regency playboy, isn't he?" "Everyone I know calls him Freddie." "I know that. I also know that his wife, Miriam, only promises to be called Muriel." "How did he become your nephew?" "For my sister, Hannah Rabenstein, was married to Alphonse Bericorg. He died as Sir Adolphus Brand, baronet .Adolph was his only son, and therefore soon became Sir Adolphus Brand, second baronet."

"So, Freddy Bland's mother, Mrs. Bland, should be your sister?" "Yes, it's my sister Hannah. She's the eldest in our family. She's eighty years old, but she's still very clear-sighted, and she's a wonderful woman." "I never saw her." "I suppose it's because your friends, the Brands, don't want you to see her. She still speaks with a German accent." "Have you never seen them?" I asked. "I haven't written to them for twenty years. I'm still Jewish and they're British." He smiled again. Reddy and Muriel, who would often call them Adolf and Miriam at inappropriate moments. They didn't like my Jewish jokes either. We'd better not see each other. I haven't since the war broke out I changed my name, so we cut ties completely. I'm too old for my friends to call me Ferdy Rabenstein. I don't have any ambitions anymore. Brown or Robinson." Although his words were somewhat cynical, I felt that there seemed to be a sense of sarcasm in his tone of voice.Of course the feeling was as unclear as ever.But I seem to feel vaguely that, in the hidden depths of his heart, he has a great contempt for the Gentiles he has conquered. "So you never met those two boys?" I asked. "yes." "The elder boy's name is George, and the younger one's name is Harry. George is not as clever as his brother, but he is a very attractive boy. I think you will like him." "Where is he now?" "Oh, he's just been expelled from Oxford. I guess he's gone home. Harry's still at Eton." "Can you bring George to lunch with me?" "I'll go and ask his opinion. I think he'll be willing." "I've heard he's a troublemaker." "Oh, I didn't know that. The family wanted him to join the army. They were looking at the Royal Guards. But he objected. So he came to Oxford to go to college. But he didn't study hard. He spent a lot of money and looked around for Have fun. But it's all normal." "Why was he expelled from Oxford?" "I don't know. It's probably because of some little thing." When we got here, the host of the party stood up, and we all went upstairs.When Ferdi said goodbye to me, he told me not to forget about his grandnephew. "Call me," he ordered, "I'm free on Wednesday or Friday." I left London the next day for Tilby.This is an Elizabethan building set in a large park.Fallow deer can be seen roaming in the park.From the windows of this mansion, the view is very wide.The hills stretch into the distance like undulating waves.It seemed to me that as far as the eye could see belonged to the Blands.His tenants must have thought Sir Adolphus a very capable landowner.His family's plantation is very flat, and the barn and cattle pen are in good order.Even the pigsty creates a sense of beauty.The bar is like an old English watercolor.The farmhouses he built on the estate are unique, making people feel both beautiful and convenient.It must have cost him a lot to manage this land so well.There are towering trees and a nine-hole golf course in the park.The park is well managed, like a big garden.And his spacious garden is the envy of the neighbors.His luxurious residence was designed by the most famous architect in England, with pitched roofs and large windows with mullions, and the interior furniture was selected by Mrs. Bland herself.She had good taste and good learning, and chose the style of furniture to suit the room. "It's nothing complicated," she said, "just an English house in the country." There are old English sports paintings on the walls and expensive Chippendale chairs.On the drawing-room walls hung portraits by Reynolds and Gainsborough and landscapes by Crome the Elder and Richard Wilson.Even my bedroom, which has a four-poster bed, has multiple Burkitt Foster watercolors.This place is truly beautiful and it is such a treat to stay here.But the strange thing is that the effect that Muriel Brand wanted was not there at all.Don't tell her this, or she will be sad to death.You don't have the slightest feeling of staying in an English home here.You get the feeling that everything here has been carefully sourced according to one general design.In well-born English homes, Carlo Dolci's paintings were often hung side by side with dreary academic portraits on the dining room walls.The portraits were procured by one of the family's ancestors on a trip to the mainland before college.Most of the living room walls of these people also have watercolor paintings drawn by a certain grandma.Although the paintings make the living room look messy, they are very approachable.The living room furnished by Muriel Brand has no such effect.There are no ugly Victorian sofas or woven chair covers in her living room.The covers were woven by the maiden daughters of the families during the London International Industry Fair.Her living room was beautiful, but a bit too stark. Yet here I am well looked after and very happy.The Blands gave me a warm and friendly reception.They seem to be a very hospitable family, and very generous and kind.Entertaining neighbors can be said to be the happiest thing for the couple.Although they have owned the estate for less than twenty years, they already have a strong and friendly relationship with their neighbours.Perhaps apart from the fact that their home is more ornate and the estate is well-kept, the family seems to have settled here for centuries. Freddie was educated at Eton and Oxford and graduated from both schools.He is now in his early fifties.In my impression, he is a quiet, very polite, and very intelligent person, but a little reserved.He had an air of elegance, but the elegance was not British.He has gray hair and a short black and white beard on his chin.He had beautiful black eyes and a hooked nose.He's a little taller than average.When you saw him, you never thought he was a Jew, you thought he was a diplomat with status.He is a man of great character.Despite his great success in life, he has, oddly enough, a slightly melancholy vibe.He has been very successful politically and financially, but in terms of sports, despite his persistent efforts, nothing shines through.He has been hunting with his hounds for many years, but he has always been a poor rider.He is now middle-aged and under too much work pressure, so he no longer hunts.I think he can use these reasons to comfort himself.He has good hunting grounds and often holds large-scale hunting parties.But his own shooting level is not high.Although he owns his own golf course, his golf skills are average.He is well aware that the British place great value on one's ability in these sports.He was miserable because of it, and was very disappointed in himself.In these respects, however, George made him proud. George was a good golfer, and although he wasn't a professional tennis player, his tennis was above average.As soon as George could handle a gun, the Blands had him taught how to shoot.His shooting level improved rapidly and he became a sharpshooter.The couple put him on the back of a pony when he was just two years old.Seeing his son galloping toward a fence on his own horse, Freddie's heart exploded with joy.And when he went hunting by himself, although he chased the fox around on his horse, he often found nothing.It gave him stomach pains as soon as he got on his horse, making the sport of hunting a torment for himself.George was a tall man with beautiful curly light brown hair and blue eyes.He was quite a good-looking English lad.He seemed very candid.His nose, though sensual, was very straight.His lips were perhaps a little full and voluptuous, and his smooth skin was as white and transparent as ivory.George was the apple of his eye.Freddie was less fond of his youngest son, Harry.He was a bit stocky, with broad shoulders and a thick back.Although his dark eyes are always shining with the light of intelligence, together with his thick black hair and big nose, he reveals that he is a Jew.Freddie was very harsh with Harry, often impatient.But he pampered George very much.Harry will go into business in the future, he is very smart and enterprising.But George is the heir to the family.George will be an English gentleman. George has a sports car that his father gave him as a birthday present.He offered to drive me to his house.He drove very fast, and when we arrived, the other guests hadn't seen each other yet.There was a large lawn under a tall cedar tree, on which a table had been set for refreshment.The Blands were sitting at the table. "By the way," I said after a while, "I saw Ferdy Rabenstein the other day, and he wanted me to take George to lunch with him." I didn't mention it to George on the way here.I figured if there was any family conflict between them, I'd better tell his parents about it first. "Who's Ferdy Rabenstein out there?" George asked. The time in which a man is honored in the world is so short.It would have seemed absurd to have asked the question a generation ago. "Unfortunately, this person is your uncle." I replied. When I mentioned this, the Blands exchanged glances. "He's a nasty old guy," Muriel said. "I don't think it's necessary for George to rebuild his relationship with us. He broke up with us before George was born," Freddie said decisively. "Anyway, I brought the words here." I said awkwardly, feeling a little bit self-defeating. "I don't want to see this nasty old guy," said George. The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of other guests.After a while George was playing golf with a friend he had met at Oxford. The topic was brought up again the next day.Freddie Bland and I played a game of unscored tennis in the morning, and we played a game of points in the afternoon under a system called the country house system.Now I'm sitting on the balcony with Muriel talking again.There is so much bad weather in the UK, it's only fair that we have better weather here than other places when the weather is good.On such a June evening, everything around is really beautiful.The sky was blue with no clouds, and the air was warm and pleasant.The green hills are like rolling waves, stretching to the sky.There are woods all around, and beyond the top of the woods, you can see the red roofs of a small village in the distance and the gray bell tower of the church in the village.Only at such moments can a person fully appreciate the happiness and joy of life.Wonderful verses kept popping up in my mind.I chatted with Muriel about this and that. "I hope you don't think we're being a bit callous because we refused to let George and Ferdy have lunch," she said suddenly. "He's a little too pretentious, isn't he?" "Is that how you see him? He's always been good to me." "We haven't seen each other for twenty years. Freddie feels he will never be forgiven for what he did during the Great War. I think he's so unpatriotic. There's got to be a limit to what a man does. You don't know, He wouldn't give up his horrible German name at all. And Freddie was a member of parliament, and he was in charge of military supplies and so on. It was embarrassing for him to have such an uncle in the family. I don't understand why he should See George? George has nothing to do with him." "He's an old man. George and Harry are his grandnephews. And he's going to have an heir when he dies." "We'd rather not have his money," said Muriel coldly. Whether or not George had lunch with Ferdi Rabenstein was none of my business.I'd prefer to let the matter stop here.But then the Blands brought it up again.Muriel obviously felt that something should be explained to me. "Of course you know that Ferdi has Jewish blood in him," she said. She looked at me with piercing eyes.Muriel is a tall blonde.Apparently she has a tendency to be obese.In order to lose weight, she did not hesitate to spend a lot of time.She was very beautiful when she was young.Even now she was handsome.But her round blue eyes were slightly protruding, her fleshy nose; the shape of her face and the nape of her neck, and her jovial demeanor, betrayed her Jewish heritage.No Englishwoman, no matter how fair her hair, has these traits.But what she said was clearly intended to give me the impression that she was not a Jew.I replied cautiously: "A lot of people have Jewish blood in them now." “这我知道。但没有必要老是想着这件事，对不对？不管怎么说，我们家人都是地地道道的英国人。没有谁比乔治更像个英国人了。无论是长相、言谈举止和各方面，他都是如此。我的意思是说，他爱好体育，各项运动水平都很高。我不想让他接触犹太人，也不想让他的某个远亲打破这个规矩。” “如今在英国，一个人想要不接触犹太人太难以做到了。” “这我知道。在伦敦就能遇到很多犹太人。而且我认为有些犹太人也很不错。他们具有艺术家的气质。我并不极端，我与弗雷迪并不刻意回避他们，我当然更不会这样做。但巧合的是，我们俩与任何犹太人都结识不深。而在这里，根本就没有犹太人。” 她说这句话时斩钉截铁的口吻不能不让我感到佩服。如果有人对我说，她真的相信自己所说的每一个字，我对此绝不会感到突然。 “您说过，费迪也许会将遗产送给乔治。但我想，他的遗产也不会有太多。战前他还是很富有的，但现在他的财产已经大幅缩水了。此外，我们希望乔治年龄大点儿的话能走向政坛。我想，如果乔治从一个叫拉本施泰因的人那里继承了财产的事让选区里的人知道了，对他会很不利的。” “乔治对政治有兴趣吗？”我问道。目的是要转变一下话题。 “哦，我希望他能有兴趣。不管怎么说，我们这个家族在选区内的位置还是根深蒂固的，他只要参选，肯定手到擒来。我们这个选区的议员席位由保守党人牢牢地把持着。但不能指望弗雷迪在下院操劳一辈子呀。” 穆里尔真够伟大。她说话的口气就好像布兰德家族已经有二十代人出任选区的代表了。但她的话让我第一次了解到，弗雷迪还有更大的政治抱负。 “我想，当乔治到了成年人的时候，弗雷迪应该能进入上议院了。” “我们一家为保守党做出了很大的贡献，应该得到点儿回报。”穆里尔回答道。 穆里尔是个天主教徒。她经常对我说，她曾在修女院中受过教育。 “那里的女人们都非常亲切。我指的是那些修女。我总是说，如果我有一个女儿，我肯定也会把她送到修道院去。” 但她喜欢自己的仆人们信仰英国国教。在周日晚上，我们吃的所谓晚饭就是已经放凉了的鱼和冰淇淋。只有吃了这样的晚餐，他们才能上教堂去做礼拜。而且我们吃饭时也只有两个仆人伺候，而平时有四个仆人。我们吃完晚饭后，天还没有黑。弗雷迪与我一面吸着雪茄，一面在落日的余晖中散着步。我猜穆里尔已经将她与我的对话内容告诉了他。也许他拒绝让乔治去见舅姥爷一事仍让他感到不安。但与穆里尔有所不同的是，他没有直接提到这个问题。他告诉我说，他一直为乔治操心。乔治拒绝当兵一事让他感到非常不满。 “我原想他应该能喜爱军旅生活。”他说道。 “他如果穿上了近卫军的制服，看起来一定帅极了。” “应该会这样，对吧？”弗雷迪真诚地回答道，“真不知道他为什么会拒绝。” 乔治在牛津大学的时候完全是无所事事。虽说他父亲给他的零花钱实在不少，但他还是债台高筑。现在他又被学校开除了。虽然他提到这些事时的语气是酸酸的，但我可以看出来，他对这个不争气的儿子还是蛮骄傲的。他对这个儿子的爱一点儿也不像个英国人。在内心里，他一定在为乔治的时髦装束而感到得意。 “那你还有什么可操心的？”我问道，“你根本就不大在意乔治是否能拿到学位。” 弗雷迪咯咯地笑了。 “是的，我想我是对他拿不拿学位的事不大在意。我从来都认为进牛津大学的重要性就在于让人们都知道你曾在那里待过。我敢说那里的其他年轻人比他也好不了多少。我正在想着他的将来。他太懒惰了。他只图一时的快活，什么都不想做。” “他还年轻。” “他对政治不感兴趣，虽然他的各项运动水平都不错，但他也不大喜爱体育。他似乎将他的大部分时间都浪费在胡乱弹奏钢琴上。” “这个爱好也没有什么不好嘛。” “是的，我并不反对他弹钢琴。但他不能总是这样虚度光阴呀。你看，这里的一切早晚都是他的。”弗雷迪用手画了个大圈，似乎要把整个郡都包进去。但我知道，这个郡现在还不归他个人所有。“让我忧心的是，到时候他是否能够承担起自己的责任。他母亲对他寄托着更大的期望，但我只希望他能成为一个合格的英国乡绅就行。” 弗雷迪瞟了我一眼，似乎想对我说点儿什么，但担心我会认为他的话很可笑，因而有些踌躇。但当作家的好处之一就是，人们会认为你是一个无关紧要的人。有些事情他们通常不会说给与他们地位相同的人，但他们会说给你听。他认为对我说了也无妨大碍。 “你不知道，我有一个想法。在目前的世界上，古希腊人理想生活方式的最佳实践者是居住在自己庄园内的英国乡绅。我认为这种生活方式令人赏心悦目，美极了。” 如今的英国乡绅如果不将其主要资产投资于保险的美国债券上，他就无法享受这种悠闲的田园生活。当我想到这里的时候，脸上不禁浮起了笑容。但我这是一种带有同情的笑。这个犹太金融家竟然如此珍视这种浪漫的田园之梦，这太让人感动了。 “我想让他成为一个好地主。我想让他参加到乡村事物中来。我想让他每天都进行各种体育活动。” “可怜的蠢货。”我心里这样想。但嘴上却说道：“那么，你现在为乔治做的安排是什么？” “我想，他对外交工作很感兴趣。他提出要到德国去学习德语。” “这个主意不错，我也应该想到才是。” “不知他是怎么考虑的，他说想要到慕尼黑去。” “那个地方不错。” 第二天我就回到了伦敦。我到家后不久就给费迪打了电话。 “很抱歉，乔治星期三不能去你那吃饭了。” “星期五如何？” “星期五也不行。”我想拐弯抹角地说是没有用了，干脆直截了当吧，“情况是这样，他家里的人不想让他与您共进午餐。” 电话那头静了一阵，然后他回答道： “我明白了。哦，那么，星期三你能过来吗？” “没问题，我会欣然从命。”我回答道。 这样，星期三下午一点半的时候，我溜达着朝可胜街走去。费迪非常亲热地迎接我到来。他的热情似乎有点儿反常。他没有提到布兰德一家。我俩在客厅坐下。环顾四周，我不禁想，房主确实喜爱漂亮的小物件。客厅内摆得满满的，与时下流行的风格完全不相匹配。玻璃柜内摆放着金质的鼻烟壶，还有法国瓷器，这些都不符合我的审美情趣。但这些东西无疑都很珍贵。而客厅里路易十五时代的家具，连同家具上的斜针绣品，则更是价值巨大。墙上挂着的画都是出自朗克雷、佩特和华托等大画家的手笔，不过我对这些画没有什么兴趣。但我能看出来，这些画作的意境都非常高。他这样一个饱经世故的老人有这样的摆设非常恰当。与他那个时代非常相称。突然，客厅的门被推开了，原来是乔治。费迪见我吃惊的样子，冲我露出了得意的微笑。 “你能来我这里，我非常高兴。”他与乔治握了握手。 他今天是第一次见到他的孙外甥。只见他一把将乔治拉进屋来。乔治今天的穿着非常优雅。他上穿一件黑色短大衣，下穿条纹西裤，里穿一件双排扣夹克。这在当时是最时髦的装束。这身装束非常适合个子瘦高、肚子没有凸起来的人。我相信费迪完全知道乔治是上哪家服装店定做的这身衣服，甚至知道是哪个裁缝的手艺。他很欣赏乔治的眼光。乔治穿着这身衣服，显得既整洁又时髦，让人感到人也非常英俊。我们下楼去吃饭。费迪在这样的场合与陌生人打交道是轻车熟路，他的言谈举止使这个小伙子感到放松。但我看到他先是小心地说了一些恭维的话，然后不知出于什么原因，他又开始讲他的那些犹太人故事。我看到乔治的脸涨得通红。虽然他也附和着笑笑，但我能看出来他很尴尬。我不知道费迪究竟是怎么了，怎么会变得一点儿也不圆通了。但他眼睛盯着乔治，故事讲完了一个又一个，似乎没有停下来的意思。我想，是否出自某个我不知道的原因，费迪产生了一个恶毒的想法，他故意想要乔治难堪，他好从中找点儿乐子。 吃完饭后，我们又回到楼上的客厅。为了摆脱尴尬的局面，我请费迪弹钢琴给我们听。他弹了三四首华尔兹短曲。但他今天的演奏大失水准，既感觉不到轻盈与优雅，也没有欢快的旋律。他弹完后转身对乔治说道： “你也会弹钢琴吧？” “会一点儿。” “那你不弹点儿什么吗？” “我只会弹古典音乐。可能您对这样的曲子不感兴趣。” 费迪微微一笑，但没有再坚持让乔治弹琴。我说我该走了。乔治也同我一起起身告辞。 “真是一个肮脏的犹太佬，”我俩一出门，乔治就恨恨地骂道，“我非常讨厌他讲的那些犹太故事。” “这是他的噱头。他一直是这样，总是讲这些故事。” “您要是个犹太人，您会这样吗？” 我耸了耸肩膀。 “你怎么改主意了，来这里吃午饭呢？”我问乔治。 他咯咯地笑了。他是一个天性快活的人，很有幽默感。他已经忘了刚才对舅姥爷的不快。 “他去见我奶奶了。您没有见过我奶奶，对吗？” “是的，没见过。” “她对爸爸就像对待伊顿公学的小学生。奶奶说我必须与费迪舅姥爷吃这顿饭。奶奶说的话就是我家的圣旨。” "I see." 一两个星期后，乔治就上慕尼黑学德语去了。碰巧我那段时间也要外出去旅行，直到次年春天我才回到伦敦。我回到伦敦后不久，有一次赴宴时我正好就坐在穆里尔·布兰德的旁边。我问她乔治的情况如何。 “他还在德国。”她答道。 “我看报纸上说，你们要为他举办一个盛大的成年仪式，要在提尔比举办一场盛大的宴会。” “我们准备好好款待一下佃户们。他们还要给乔治送礼物。” 她说话没有了平时那种欢快劲儿，但我并没有太过注意。她在生活中处处要强，可能是过于疲惫了。我知道她喜欢谈论自己的儿子，因此继续说道： “我猜乔治在德国生活的很不错。” 她没有马上吭声。我瞅了她一眼。我看到她的双眼盈满了泪水，这让我大吃一惊。 “我想乔治是疯了。”她说道。 "What do you mean by that?" “我们一家现在完全处在焦虑不安之中。弗雷迪非常生气，他现在都不愿意听到别人谈起这件事。我现在真是不知道该怎么办才好。” 当然，我马上想到的就是乔治出事了。就像大多数出国学习外语的英国年轻人一样，乔治寄宿在一户德国人家里。我猜乔治很可能是爱上了这户人家的女儿，想要娶她。我早就料到了，布兰德夫妇肯定是想要乔治娶一个大家闺秀，结一个门当户对的亲。 “这到底是怎么回事呀？”我问道。 “他想要当一个钢琴演奏家。” "what?" “一个职业钢琴师。” “他怎么会起了这个念头？” “鬼才知道。我们也是一点儿不知道怎么回事。我俩还以为他正在复习功课，准备考试呢。我到德国去看他。我想去看看他是否一切都好。唉，老天爷呀，他看起来糟糕透了。他以往多精神多时髦呀。看到他那个样子，我差点儿要哭出来。他告诉我说，他不准备参加毕业考试了，他根本就没打算这样做。他说，如果不说自己想当个外交官，我们就不会让他到德国来，他也就没有办法来这里学习音乐了。” “但他有音乐天赋吗？” “哦，这倒无关紧要。即使他有帕岱莱夫斯基这样的音乐天赋，我们也不能让乔治四处游荡，在各个音乐会上进行演出。我爱好艺术，弗雷迪也同样，谁也无法否认这一点。我们有许多音乐家朋友。但乔治的前程远大，还有很重要的位置等着他呢，这一点毫无疑问。我们真心想让他今后成为一位国会议员。今后他会非常富有的。他真是前途无量啊。” “您把这些都跟他说了吗？” “我当然说了。但他对我的话嗤之以鼻。我对他说，如果他固执己见，他父亲会伤心透了。他说他父亲早就应该把希望寄托在哈利身上。我当然也非常爱哈利了。他像猴一样聪明。但我们从来都认为他只适合去经商。即使我是他的母亲，我也能看出来，他身上没有乔治所具有的优点。您知道他对我说的是什么吗？他说，如果老爸能有办法让他每个星期得到五个英镑，他就可以放弃一切继承权，让哈利去继承。哈利可以继承家里的全部财产，可以继承准男爵头衔，可以继承其他一切。这太可笑了。他说，既然罗马尼亚的王储可以放弃王位继承权，他不明白，他怎么就不能放弃一个准男爵的继承权呢？但这是不可能的。他无法不成为准男爵三世。弗雷迪既然继承了一个可以继承的准男爵头衔，在他死后也只能传给乔治。您不知道，他甚至想要放弃布兰德这个姓，而转用某个可怕的德国姓氏。” 我忍不住问，他想要用哪个性？ “可能是贝里寇格或什么，我也叫不准。”她答道。 这个姓氏我怎么这么耳熟呢？我想起来了，费迪曾告诉我，汉娜·拉本施泰因嫁给了一个叫作阿方斯·贝里寇格的男人。这个男人后来成了阿道弗斯·布兰德爵士，头衔是准男爵一世。This is incredible.我几个月前见到他时，他还是一个典型的英国男孩。真不知道这个迷人的男孩现在到底怎么了。 “当我返回英国，将这一切告诉弗雷迪的时候，他果然是暴跳如雷。我从来就没见到他发过这么大的火。他简直气坏了。他给乔治打电话，让他马上回来。乔治回话说，由于用功学习，他时间很紧，不能回去。” “他用功吗？” “他从早到晚地拼命学琴。这同样令人不可思议。他这辈子干什么都没有用过功。弗雷迪经常说，他天生就是个懒惰之人。” "and then?" “然后弗雷迪就又打电话说，如果他不回家，就不再给他寄生活费。乔治回话说：那就不给吧。如此一来，什么办法都没有了。您不知道，弗雷迪被激怒后会是什么样子。” 我知道弗雷迪继承了一大笔遗产，而且我还知道他使这笔财产又大大地增值了。我完全知道，虽然弗雷迪表面上是一个彬彬有礼、和蔼可亲的提尔比乡绅，其实他是一个冷血的资本家。他一意孤行惯了，我相信一旦有人胆敢违背他的意旨，他一定会暴露出其冷酷的面目，绝不让步。 “我们一直都给乔治很大一笔零花钱。但他花钱跟流水似的，从不知什么叫节俭。我们认为他不可能坚持很长时间。事实也的确如此。不到一个月工夫，他就写信向费迪求助。他想要向他借一百英镑。费迪然后就去看我婆婆了，也就是他姐姐，这您知道。他询问这是怎么回事。虽然弗雷迪与他有二十年没有说话，但还是去见他了。弗雷迪恳求他不要借给乔治一分钱。他答应了。我不知道乔治是怎么节省着熬过来的。我相信弗雷迪的做法是正确的，但心里还是非常担忧。既然我没有向弗雷迪起过誓，说我不会给乔治提供任何帮助，我想我也就可以偶尔在写给乔治的信中夹上几张钞票。想到他甚至会食不果腹，我的心里就难受极了。” “让他手头稍微紧一点儿没有什么害处。” “您不知道，我们对此真是束手无策了。我们为他回家过成年仪式做好了一切准备，我已经发出去了好几百封请柬。可乔治突然宣布不回来了。我真是要疯了。我给他写信，我给他打电话。如果不是弗雷迪的阻止，我肯定要亲自到德国去找他。我给乔治下跪了，我求他不要陷我们于这样的羞辱之中。我的意思是说，这没法向别人解释呀。这时候我婆婆插足这件事了。您不认识她，对吧？她可不是一个寻常的老太太。如果您见到她，您绝对看不出她就是弗雷迪的妈妈。她原来是德国人，但出自名门。” "Oh?" “跟您说实话吧，我有点儿怕她。她与弗雷迪谈完后，就亲自给乔治写信。她说如果他回家过二十一岁生日，她就将他在慕尼黑借的债全部还清。一家人会耐心地听他陈述自己的任何想法。他同意了。下周他就能回家。但告诉您说吧，我并不盼着这一天。” 她深深地叹了一口气。当我们吃完饭走上楼的时候，弗雷迪向我打了招呼。 “我看见穆里尔一直在跟您谈乔治的事。这个该死的傻瓜！提起他我就生气。他竟然想当一个钢琴师。这个职业太下等了。” “他还太年轻，这你知道。”我息事宁人地说道。 “他一贯把什么都不放在心上，我又太宠着他。过去他想要什么我就答应他。这次我要让他接受点儿教训。” 布兰德夫妇没有大张旗鼓地做广告。我从报纸上看到了将在提尔比举行庆祝乔治二十一岁生日庆典的广告，与其他英国乡绅举行类似庆典的广告内容没有什么不同。将举行一场宴会，一场室内舞会，用于款待本郡的乡绅；还要举行一场茶点会和一场室外舞会，用于招待佃户们。而且特意花高价从伦敦请来了乐队。报上登载的照片中，乔治被家人团团围在中间，佃户们正向他赠送一套结实的银质茶具。原先已经预订了画家来为他画肖像画，但由于他没有早点儿回家，因此也不可能一坐好几天地画肖像了，只好用送茶具的方式来代替。我读了聊天版作家的专题文章，里面提到，他父亲送给他一把猎枪；他母亲送给一台能自动翻转唱片的留声机；他祖母，前准男爵遗孀布兰德夫人，送给他的礼物是一套大英百科全书；他的舅姥爷，费迪·拉本施泰因，送给他的则是一幅佩列格里尼·德·摩德纳创作的《圣母子》油画。我当然能看出来，这些礼物都很笨重，而且不便于换成现金。我还从费迪应邀出席庆典这件事中得出结论，乔治莫名其妙的变化已经改变了费迪与布兰德这对舅舅与外甥之间不和睦的关系。我猜得很对。费迪对他孙外甥想要当个钢琴师的想法完全反对。面对可能危及家族声望的这种迹象，他们重归于好。一个家族统一战线建立了起来，他们要共同对付乔治的计划。由于我当时没在英国，庆典过后的事我只是道听途说来的。其中费迪告诉了我一些事，穆里尔也告诉了我一些。后来乔治也以他的观点向我又描述了一遍。布兰德夫妇决定，当乔治回到家后，要让他居于庆典活动舞台的中心。当他居于一片荣光之中，他会再一次切身感受到，作为一个如此宏大庄园的继承人会有多大的好处。他恐怕就不会太固执了。他们成天都围着他转，给予他无限的温情。他们处处奉承他，仔细倾听他说的每一句话。他们认为他心地善良，只要他们给予他最大的爱心，他就没有勇气让他们伤心和痛苦。他们理所当然地认为他不会再打算回德国去了。他们所有的计划都有与他谈话这个程序。但乔治话说得很少。他似乎在自娱自乐。他根本就不碰钢琴。看起来事情正按预定方向发展，一切顺利。这个麻烦之家也恢复了往日的宁静。然而有一天午饭的时候，大家开始讨论将要在下周的某一天举行的野餐聚会，要求大家届时一定按时参加。乔治乐呵呵地说道： “就别算我了。下周我就不在这里了。” “哦，乔治，你要上哪儿去？”他妈妈问道。 “我要回去做功课了。我星期一离开，回慕尼黑去。” 餐厅内一下静了下来。每个人都想说点儿什么，但都怕说错了话。最终还是没人吭声。午饭就这样静悄悄地结束了。然后乔治走进花园。而其他人，包括布兰德老夫人和费迪、穆里尔和阿道弗斯爵士，都走进家庭内用的起居室。忽然，他们听到有人在客厅里弹奏肖邦的小夜曲。是乔治。仿佛他宣布完了自己的决定，现在要通过弹奏他热爱的钢琴来寻求慰藉，并通过弹钢琴来放松自己，增强信心。弗雷迪一下跳了起来。 “别让他再发出噪音了，”他喊道，“我不许他碰我家里的这架钢琴。” 穆里尔按铃叫一个仆人进来，对他说道： “你去告诉布兰德先生，他母亲现在头痛得厉害，让他别弹钢琴了。” 费迪见多识广，因此被大家推举为代表，让他与乔治好好谈一谈。他被授权可以做出一些让步，条件是乔治要放弃当一个钢琴师的想法。如果乔治不想去外交部门工作，他父亲可以接受；如果他想要竞选议员，家里可以给他出竞选经费，给他在伦敦准备一套公寓，而且一年给他五千英镑的零花钱。应该说这样的条件够可以的了。我不知道费迪都对他说了些什么。我猜费迪向他描绘了这样一大笔钱可以描绘出的生活美景，对于一个身在伦敦的年轻人来说，这可是不可多得的机会。我相信他一定是说得天花乱坠，一般人都会动心的。但乔治不为之所动，他要的只是一星期五英镑而已。这样他就可以继续自己的学业了，就可以继续自己一个人待在德国。他对今后某一天自己可能有高官厚禄的前景无动于衷。他不想去打猎，他不想去射击，他不想成为一个国会议员，他不想成为一个百万富翁，他不想成为一个准男爵，他也不想当一个贵族。费迪非常恼怒，他灰溜溜地离开了客厅。 晚饭后，那天晚上出现了激烈的争吵。弗雷迪是个性情急躁的人。他听惯了顺从的话，现在有人竟然敢违背他的意旨，这让他暴跳如雷。他恶狠狠地责骂乔治。我猜他用的语言一定非常激烈。屋内的女人们试图让他冷静冷静，但遭到他的严厉呵斥，因而不再吭声了。也许这是他平生第一次不听他母亲的话了。乔治满脸愠怒，非常固执。他已经打定了主意，如果他父亲反对他去学琴，他可以自己想法子对付下来。弗雷迪蛮横地禁止乔治再返回德国。乔治回答道，他已经二十一岁了，可以自己做决定了。他想去哪里就可以去哪里。弗雷迪发誓说不会给他一分钱。 “这没关系，我会自己去挣钱。” “你！你这辈子就从没干过任何工作。你能干什么活儿去挣钱？” “卖旧衣服。”乔治咧嘴笑笑。 屋里所有的人都倒吸了一口冷气。穆里尔吃惊之余嘴里冒出了一句最不该说的话。 “就像一个犹太人一样？” “哦，难道我不是一个犹太人吗？难道你不是一个犹太女人吗？难道爸爸不是一个犹太人吗？我们都是犹太人，我们全家都是。谁都知道这个事实。就这样装出一副我们不是犹太人的样子，鬼才知道有什么用？” 然后非常可怕的事情发生了。弗雷迪突然号啕大哭起来。我想他完全失态了，其表现完全不像是阿道弗斯·布兰德爵士，那个准男爵位的国会议员了；完全不像那个那个完美的英国绅士，那个他拼命想要做的英国绅士。他此时才像是那个阿道夫·贝里寇格。他毫不掩饰自己的感情，他爱自己的儿子；他不知羞愧地哭泣着，原因是他对儿子的全部期望都破灭了。他勃勃的雄心失败了。他一把鼻涕一把眼泪地号啕着，捶胸顿足，撕扯着自己的头发。他甚至躺在地上打起了滚儿。屋里的人全都跟着哭了。布兰德老夫人、穆里尔，还有费迪也跟着哭了。他擤着鼻子，擦着滚滚而下的眼泪。甚至乔治也跟着哭了。这个场面当然令人感到伤心和痛苦。但依我们粗野的盎格鲁-撒克逊人的性格，人们会认为他们有点儿滑稽。屋里的人谁也不安慰其他人。他们就这样哭着，哭着。这晚大家不欢而散。 但现实的情况并没有改变。乔治坚持初衷不改，他父亲也不理他了。这期间还有很多情节和故事。穆里尔拿出一副可怜相，想要博得他的同情，但乔治对她可怜巴巴的哀求无动于衷。他母亲伤心欲绝他不在乎，为了实现自己的目标，他甚至可以弑父；费迪以一个爱好运动而又久经人世的老人的身份恳求他，但乔治不仅拒不接受，而且还无礼地辱骂了他；布兰德老夫人说话带有浓重的德国口音，也用一种命令式的语气与他争吵。但谁的劝告都没有用，乔治已经失去了理智。然而只有老太太，她最后找到了一种解决办法。她使乔治认识到，除非他有音乐天才，否则的话，将这个世界给予他的这么多好东西都抛弃掉将一无所获。他当然认为自己有音乐天赋，但他也可能判断失误。这样的话，做一个二流的钢琴师就不值得了。他唯一的辩护理由就是自己有音乐天赋。如果他真的有这个天赋，他的家人就没有权力拦阻他。 “您不能让我现在就展示自己的音乐天赋，”乔治说道，“我还需要努力好几年才行。” “你确信自己做好了一切思想准备？” “这是我在这个世界上唯一想要做的事情。我会拼命努力的。我唯一的要求就是给我这个机会。” 下面就是她最后拿出的解决办法。他父亲已经决定不给他一分钱了，但老太太也不能让这个孩子饿肚子呀。他既然提到了一星期只要五英镑，那好，她愿意自己掏这笔钱。他可以回到德国再学两年。两年的时间一到，他就必须回家。家里人会请某个有权威而且有兴趣的人来听他的演奏。如果届时这个权威人士得出的结论是，他有潜力成为一个一流的钢琴家，则家人就不再阻拦他走自己的路。家里还会给他提供一切便利条件，帮助他，鼓励他。但如果这个人士说，他的音乐天赋不足以确保他成为顶级的钢琴演奏大师，则他必须立誓，保证放弃以音乐作为职业的想法，完全按他父亲的希望去做。乔治几乎无法相信自己的耳朵。 “您说话算数吗，奶奶？” “我当然说话算数。” “但我爸爸会同意吗？” “我会让你爸爸同意的。”她回答道。 乔治一把抱住了她，冲动地在她的双颊上各亲了一口。 “您太可爱了，奶奶。”他喊道。 “哦，但你起誓吗？” 他以个人名誉向她严肃地起誓，自己将忠实地遵守这份协议。两天以后他就回德国去了。他父亲勉强同意了他回德国继续学钢琴，除此之外也没有其他办法了。但他们父子并没有和好。乔治离家的时候，他拒绝去为他送行。我想不出他为何要把自己弄得如此痛苦。要说句老话。我想，人真是个奇怪的动物，他们生活在这个冷漠而充满敌意的世界上的时间非常短暂，怎么会费尽心思去给自己造成如此之大的痛苦呢？ 乔治要求在他的两年学习期间，家里人不要去看他。因此，当穆里尔在乔治预定回国前几个月，听说我要到维也纳去出一趟公差，而且路过慕尼黑时，她自然会求我顺便去看看他。她急于获取关于她儿子的第一手信息。她将乔治的住址给了我。我先给乔治写了一封信，告诉他我要在慕尼黑顺路待一天，请他陪我吃一顿午饭。他回信说会在旅馆等我的。他说自己白天一整天都要忙于练琴，没有时间陪我吃午饭。但如果我能在六点钟的时候到他的工作室来，他可以让我参观一番他的工作室。如果我没有事的话，他很愿意在那里陪陪我。因此，六点钟一过，我就按他告我的地址找去。他住的小区面积很大，他的住宅位于一栋公寓楼的三层。当我走进他的房间门口时，就听到门里传来了钢琴声。我敲了敲门，琴声停了。乔治为我开了门。我几乎认不出来他了。他变得很胖，头发很长。卷曲的头发从头上垂下来，虽然显得很杂乱，但也别具一格。他肯定有三天没有刮胡子了。他下身穿着一条宽大松垂的牛津裤，上面满是污垢。上身穿着一件网球衫，脚上趿拉着拖鞋。他看起来挺脏，指甲端黑黑的。他原先是个衣着整洁的苗条小伙子。我上次看到他时，他一身服装相当讲究，穿在身上显得非常帅气，与眼前的他宛若两人。我不禁想到，如果弗雷迪看到他现在这个样子，一定大受打击。这间工作室面积很大，但什么摆设也没有，显得空空荡荡的。墙上挂着三四幅没有画框的油画，这些油画的风格都是立体派的；房间内还有几把扶手椅，但都破烂得难以入座，房间内还有一台高档钢琴。书籍、旧报纸和艺术杂志扔得到处都是。房间内既肮脏又杂乱，还混合着一股难闻的过期啤酒和陈旧香烟的味道。 “你就自己住在这里吗？”我问道。 “是的，我雇了一个女工，她一周来这里两次，来为我打扫卫生。此外，我早餐和中餐都是在这里自己做。” "Can you cook?" “哦，我中餐就只吃面包