Chapter 3 third chapter

During this year, I hardly ever saw Abel Vautier.He enlisted early for military service, and I was repeating rhetoric classes for a bachelor's degree.This year, Abel and I entered the École Normale Supérieure in Paris. I am two years younger than him, so I can go to the military service after graduation. We were both very happy to meet again this time.After he left the army, he traveled for more than a month. I was really afraid to meet him and find out that he had changed.His old charisma hadn't diminished in the slightest, but his confidence had grown a little.We spent the afternoon before school started in the Luxembourg Gardens.Of course I couldn't hold back my thoughts, and I talked to him for a long time, besides, he knew about my love affair.During the year, he has been with some women, and he can't help feeling a little superior and putting on an air of self-importance, which I don't mind.He laughed at me for not being good at making decisions. According to the principles he said, women must never be calmed down.Letting him go, I thought that his theory didn't apply to me or to Alyssa, which showed that he didn't know us very well.

The day after my return to Paris, I received this letter: We stop being in love!How could such a thing happen! —I felt sad, and even more surprised, and I was in a moment of confusion, and I ran at once to show Abel the letter. He shook his head and read the letter, and said from his tightly closed lips: "In this case, what are you going to do?" Seeing my arms raised, with a puzzled and distressed face, he said, "At least I I hope you don't write back. Once you get into an argument with a woman, it's over... Listen to me, we live in Le Havre on Saturday, and we can go to Fengsmar on Sunday morning and come back on Monday morning for the first Lesson. I haven't seen your relatives since my military service. That excuse is enough and respectable. If Alyssa sees that it's an excuse, it'll be great! I'll take care of Juliet , you go talk to her sister. Don't be childish... To be honest, there is always something in your love that I don't quite understand. Maybe you didn't tell me all... It doesn't matter! I will figure it out Of... don't let us know about our going, you have to take it by surprise, so that your cousin has no time to be on guard."

I pushed open the garden gate and felt my heart beating wildly.Juliet immediately ran to meet us.Alyssa was packing her underwear and bedding and was in no hurry to go downstairs.We were in the drawing room, chatting with my uncle and Miss Ashbuton, when Alyssa finally came in.If our sudden arrival disturbed her, at least she did not show it.I naturally thought of what Abel said to me. She has not shown up for a long time, and she must be ready to deal with me.Alyssa's reserved attitude seems too cold in comparison to Juliet's unusually lively attitude.I felt that she disapproved of my going and returning, or at least put on an air of disapproval; and behind this attitude, I really dare not expect to hide such strong feelings.She sat in a corner by the window, quite far away from us, as if she was concentrating on doing an embroidery work, her lips were still moving and counting stitches.Abel was speaking, luckily for him!I didn't even have the courage to speak. If he hadn't told about his one-year military service and travel experience, the first period of this reunion would have been very dull.The uncle himself seemed worried.

Just after lunch, Juliet took me aside and dragged me into the garden. "I can imagine, I've been proposed!" she exclaimed as soon as we were out of the way. "Aunt Felicie wrote to Papa yesterday, saying that a vineyard owner in Nîmes wanted to marry me. My aunt said he was a very nice guy, and he fell in love with me when he met me a few times at social occasions this spring." "Have you noticed, sir?" I asked, with involuntary hostility towards my suitor. "I noticed it. You know who it is. A good-natured Quixote, uneducated, ugly, and very vulgar. My aunt couldn't help laughing when she saw him."

"So, does he have... hope?" I asked teasingly again. "Look at you, Jerome! What a joke! A merchant! . . . If you had seen him, you wouldn't have asked that question." "Then... how did uncle answer him?" "As I answered, I am too young to marry. . . Unfortunately," she added, laughing again, "my aunt had expected this answer, and added a postscript: Edward Tessier Sir - that's his name - he agreed to wait for me, brought it up early, to 'rank in'... Absurd. But, what can I do? I can't be told that he looks like Too ugly!"

"Of course not. It can only be said that you don't want to marry a vineyard owner." She shrugged: "This kind of reason doesn't hold water in my aunt's mind...Let's not talk about it—Alyssa wrote to you?"When I handed her Alyssa's letter, she blushed, and I felt that she asked me in a tone of irritation: "So, what do you do?" "I don't know," I replied. "Now that I'm here, I feel like I'd better write a letter. I've already reproached myself for coming. Do you understand what she means?" "Understood, she wants to set you free."

"Give me freedom, do I value freedom? Do you understand why she wrote me this?" She replied: "I don't know." Her tone was very cold. Although I still couldn't guess the truth after hearing this, I was at least immediately convinced that Juliet might not be ignorant.When we walked to the corner of the flower path, she turned around suddenly and said: "You go now, you're not here to talk to me anyway. We've been together too long." She escaped and ran towards the small building.After a while, I heard her playing the piano. When I got back to the living room, she was still playing, but listlessly, improvising as if at random, while chatting with Abel, who was looking for her.I turned and left again, and wandered around the garden for a long time, looking for Alyssa.

She was in the orchard, picking the first chrysanthemums that had bloomed at the foot of the wall, and the scent of the flowers mingled with the scent of the dead leaves of the beech trees.There is autumn in the air.The sun only shows some warmth when it shines on the rows of fruit trees against the wall, but the sky in the eastern half is exceptionally pure.Her face was almost completely covered by the big hat, and she put on the blue hat that Abel had brought her back from his travels.When I approached, she did not turn immediately, but she could not help shaking slightly, which showed that she heard my footsteps.I tense up, mustering the courage to face her scolding, and the stern stare she's about to shoot at me.However, when I was about to come to the front, I seemed timid and slowed down again.As for her, she didn't turn around to look at me at first, and lowered her head, like an angry child, but she stretched out her hand full of flowers with her back to me, as if signaling for me to go over.When I saw the greeting gesture, I stood still, thinking it was amused.She finally turned her head, took a few steps towards me, raised her face, and I saw her smile.Her bright eyes made me suddenly feel that everything was so simple and easy, and she spoke without any effort, with an extremely normal tone:

"It was your letter that called me back." "That occurred to me," she said, and then softened the harsh reproach in a gentle voice, "that's what I was. Why did you twist my words? You made it clear at the time. . . . Difficulties, as expected, are all made up of random thoughts, completely a product of my mind.) I told you clearly, we are very happy like this, you want to change, but I refused, why do you make such a fuss?" Indeed, I was so happy, so happy to be around her that my thoughts were exactly the same as hers.I no longer expect anything but her smile, as long as I walk with her hand in hand on the warm flower path like this, I will be satisfied.

All other hopes were dispelled at once. I was completely immersed in the happiness in front of me, and said to her solemnly: "If you think this is good, we will not be engaged. When I received your letter, I suddenly understood , I am indeed a happy person, but I am about to lose my happiness again. Oh! Give me back my original happiness, I can’t live without it. I love you as much as I love you, and I am willing to wait for my whole life. However, Alyssa , the thought that I can't bear the most is that you no longer love me, or doubt my love." "Alas! Jerome, I cannot doubt."

The voice she said to me was calm and sad.However, her smile was radiant, showing an incomparably quiet beauty, and I couldn't help but feel ashamed when I saw her, I shouldn't be so paranoid and argumentative.I also immediately felt that the faint sadness heard in the depths of her voice was also caused by this kind of paranoia and argument.The subject changed, and I spoke of my plans, my studies, and this new life which I hoped would be very rewarding.The École Normale Supérieure was not what it was in recent years. At that time, diligent study was encouraged, and only lazy and stupid students would feel the pressure of stricter discipline.I liked the monastic habits, the isolation, and the world of society had no attraction for me, and as soon as Alyssa was afraid, it seemed at once abominable to me.In Paris, Mademoiselle Ashbuton still kept the apartment in which she shared with my mother.Abel and I were in Paris with only one acquaintance, and we used to go and sit with her for a few hours every Sunday.Every Sunday, I write to Alyssa so that she can fully understand my life. We sat on the shelf in the open vegetable garden, and saw the thick vines of cucumbers crawling out, the last crop of cucumbers had been picked.Alyssa listened to me and asked me a few things.I have never felt her so tender and attentive, so earnest and affectionate.Worries, apprehensions, even the slightest restlessness melted away in her smile, vanished in this charming intimacy, like mist in a clear blue sky. We were sitting on a bench in the beech grove, and after a while Juliet and Abel arrived.In the late afternoon, we re-read Swinburne's poem: "The Triumph of Time", and each of us took turns reading a stanza until night fell. "Okay!" As we were leaving, Alyssa hugged me and said half-jokingly, "Promise me now that from now on, I will never think about it like this again." She put on a big sister look, which Maybe I acted recklessly, maybe she likes it. "Well! Are you engaged?" Abel asked me as soon as we were alone again. "There's no need to talk about it, my dear," I answered, and then added, in a tone of conviction, "It's better this way. I'm happier tonight than I've ever been." "Me too," he said suddenly, throwing his arms around my neck, "I'm going to tell you something, very wonderful and extraordinary! I'm madly in love with Juliet! I noticed it last year, but Later, I went outside to make a living, and I didn’t want to reveal it to you until I saw your cousins ​​again. Now, it’s settled, I’ve got something in my life.” I love, more than love, I adore Juliet! "I have long felt that I am as affectionate to you as my brother-in-law..." Abel laughed and fussed, hugged me tightly, and rolled like a child on our train seat back to Paris.Hearing him confess love like this, I was stunned and felt a little awkward. I just felt that there was literary exaggeration in his confession.However, such passion and joy, how can there be any way to resist? ... "So, you have confessed your love?" I finally interjected in the midst of his fuss. "Not yet! Not yet!" he answered loudly. "I don't want to rush through the most fascinating chapter of the matter." the best moments of love, Not saying: I love you... "Hey! You master of slow kung fu, you don't blame me, do you?" "At the end of the day," I added, a little annoyed, "you think her side, too..." Didn't you notice how flustered she was when she saw me again this time?From the beginning to the end of this visit, she was so excited, her face flushed and she talked a lot! ...Yeah, of course you didn't notice anything, all your thoughts were on Alyssa...and she asked me this and that!Listen to me hungrily!Over the past year, her intelligence has developed extremely fast.I don't understand how you can say she doesn't like books, you always think Alyssa is the only one who likes books... But, boy, it's amazing how much she knows!Do you know what we play before dinner?Recalling a lyric by Dante together, we each took turns reciting a line; she corrected me when I made a mistake.You must know this poem: Love, counsel me in the head. "You didn't tell me she had studied Italian." "Even I don't know," I said, also surprised. "How is it possible! When she started reciting poems, she said that you taught her." "She must have heard me read it to her sister the other day, and she used to make dresses or embroider, but, hell, she didn't show that she understood." "Really! Alyssa and you are really selfish. You two are completely closed in your love, and you don't even look at her brilliant display of intelligence and heart! I don't want to boast, but after all, I came at the right time. When... ah! No, no, I don't blame you, you understand that." He said, embracing me again. "Just promise me that you won't say a word to Alyssa. I'll take care of this alone. Yes. Juliet is in love, that's for sure, and quite sure, I'd even dare to leave her alone until the next holiday, when I won't even write her a letter. But New Year's holiday, you and I Let's go to Le Havre together, and then..." "How about..." "At that point, Alyssa will suddenly find out that we're engaged. I'm going to make it a snap. Guess what's going to happen? You haven't been able to get Alyssa to say yes, and I'm going to take our You have got your example. We have to convince her that we can never get married before you..." He went on talking in this way, and the words were like waves, which almost drowned me, even when the train arrived in Paris, and he couldn't stop talking even when he returned to school.We walked back to school from the train station. Although it was late at night, he still accompanied me to the dormitory, and stayed until the early morning. Abel was elated, and made arrangements for the present and the future.He seems to have seen and described to me in detail the scene of our wedding.He also imagined and pictured everyone's surprise and delight, and got himself hooked on our beautiful story, on our friendship and the part he played in my love.Such sultry passion was irresistible, and I finally felt infected, and gradually responded to his illusory suggestions.Our ambition and courage are also inflated by the momentum of love. Imagine that as soon as we graduate from college, we will invite Pastor Vautier to preside over the wedding, and then the four of us will go on a trip, and then we will start a big career, and our wife will also Happy to cooperate with us.Abel was not interested in teaching. He thought he was born to write, and as long as he wrote a few successful plays, he could quickly earn the large sum of money he needed.As for me, I prefer research and don't care much about profit. I plan to devote myself to the study of religious philosophy and write a history of religious philosophy... But, with so many hopes, what is the use in retrospect? The next day, we went to study again.