Chapter 21 Chapter 21
"What are you going to do tonight?" Shay asked as we walked out of Big Ideas.
"Write an outline for the article." I patted my notebook, "I'm starting to fall behind in my studies because of...everything."
"Can I come to your house?" he asked, holding up his full page of notes. "We can write together."
"I don't think it would be a good idea for you to go to my house."
"Why not?" He helped me with the book and I opened my locker.
"My mother wouldn't agree."
"But, I'm a good boy."
"That didn't—ouch!"
Ansel threw a football and it hit me in the back. "Score!"
I took a bottle of water from the locker and sprayed him in the face.
"That's a good way to fight back." He grinned and wiped his face. "But, you shouldn't fire at the messenger."
"You're still alive," I said. "What message have you got?"
"Neville's playing at the Embers tonight. He asked us to come and see him."
"What kind of place is Ember?" Shay asked.
"It's a bar on the west side of town." I pull on my jacket. "Actually, it's more like a shack than a bar."
"Come on, Ka. You'll love it there," said Ansel, bouncing the football on his knee. "Don't act like a sleazy bar isn't your cup of tea. Besides, since that time in Eden, our two races — Um, all of us haven't been together yet. We need to let off steam. Let's let off together."
"When?" I asked.
"ten o'clock."
"I don't know." I glanced at Shay.Ansel followed my gaze.
"Come on, too, Shay. Come hang out with us tonight," he said. "We'll have a good time even if it's not lunchtime."
"How do you all get past the gatekeeper?" Shay asked. "Does it mean you all have fake IDs and I don't know anything about it?"
"Neville has spoken to the barman," Ansel said. "We don't need ID to get in."
"Excellent." Shay smirked at me.
"Well, okay." I swallowed my anger, "That's a great idea."
Ansel smiled. "Mason's coming to pick us up after nine o'clock. The place is at the intersection of Highway 24, Shay. There's a gravel road on the right hand side. Go straight down that road and you'll get to the bar."
"I'll go," Shay said.
I fumbled in my coat pocket and tossed Ansel a bunch of keys. "You started driving us home, Ann. I'll meet you at Che Xi's side later."
"Really? Awesome!" He sprinted to the parking lot before I could change my mind.
I glared at Shay as he ran away. "Are you crazy?"
"Just because I want to hear Neville sing?" Shay smiled quietly. "I don't think I'm crazy. I've heard he sings very well. I guess Mason may be a little biased, though."
"You know what I mean." I didn't smile back at him. "Ryan's going to be there."
"It's possible."
I can't help but picture these two guys in a dark, cramped bar in my head.This night, under the dazzling neon lights, there is bound to be a disaster.
"He'd want to..." I bit my lip.
"Being your boyfriend?" Shay raised his eyebrows, "In public?"
I lowered my eyelids and nodded.
"I can understand."
"Thank you, Shay," I said.I was relieved that he didn't get into a verbal argument with me, "I do wish you would come and play with us."
"Really?" He grabbed the top edge of the door of my locker and shook the door back and forth, "Why?"
I frowned. "Can't you take my word for it?"
"I don't think I can." He curled his lips mischievously. "I just can't."
"Why are you always so difficult?" Looking at his smiling face, I felt a dull pain in my chest.It reminds me that his naughtiness always makes me laugh out loud.Without him tonight, without him to relieve my anxiety, I would be very nervous.
"Tell me."
"I don't know if it makes sense to say that, but I'm going to miss you." I moved closer to him. "Sunday feels so far away."
The moment the words came out, I bit my lip.
Why do I say such things?I should never have said such a thing.
"I'm very happy to hear you say that." Shay's smile concealed a crisis, "But I'll still go there tonight."
"What?" My heart beat faster, "but I just told you—"
"I know, Caller," he said, squeezing my hand. "See you tonight."
I glared at him.He laughed and walked away.
Mason turned onto the gravel road in the Land Rover.Parked side-by-side with the motorcycles driven by the bar's regulars, the flamboyant vehicle looked out of place. Breen unbuckled his seatbelt. "I don't know why we have to come here. I'd rather go to Eden." "Neville isn't playing at Eden," said Mason. "Besides, it's nice for a change." "Trust me, this place is better than Eden." My guts started to twitch at the thought of going back to Ifran's club.Mason and I exchanged glances.We didn't say it, but I knew what we were both thinking.Logan would never show his face in Ashes. Ansel wrapped his arms around Brin's waist and lifted her out of the car. "You're going to have a good time, you know that." She pouted and didn't smile until he kissed her. Embers Bar was built ten years ago on the site of a roadside coffee house that had been devoured by fire.The new manager of the site did not tear down the original damaged building, but built the bar around the old site.Charred, smoked wood can be seen here and there like misplaced pieces of modern art in this small space.The floor made of hardwood strips is obviously upturned, and the slope of some places is very steep, which is easy to trip people. The only flickering light in the bar comes from the various neon beer signs hanging on the walls.The smog that hung in the air like a veil shot up my nostrils, masking other smells.A group of grey-haired regulars sat on staggered stools along the bar, while leather-coated bikers sat around tables in dark corners.Directly opposite the bar is a low platform used as a stage. Neville sat on the edge of the stage, his legs dangling, his guitar resting casually on his lap.Shay leaned against the edge of the platform.Neville saw us and gave us a slight nod.Ansel and Mason immediately walked towards the stage. Breen pinned her fingers to mine. "Their discussion on music is very heated. Would you like to find a seat?" I followed her gaze across to Ryan, Dax, Fay, Sabina, and Cosette sitting together. "OK." As we approached the table, Ryan stood up and held out his hand to me. "I'm glad you're here." My pulse was pounding but I walked over to him and let him wrap his arms around me and lead me to the chair next to his. "Thanks," I whisper into the folds of his leather jacket, and we sit down.Brin sat down in the chair on the other side of me. "Hi everyone," I smiled at the other werewolves, "nice to meet you." "Hey, Caller," Dax said. Sabina smiled slightly.Cosette was speaking softly, but the noise of the crowd in the bar prevented me from hearing her words. "Faye." I glanced at my groupmate and sat down on the chair, "Mason said Dax drove you here." "Yes." She moved her seat closer to Dax. I opened my mouth to speak, but on second thought I decided to keep silent.Let's see how they develop. Ryan looked up the stage, but after a while his eyes fell on Shay. "Your groupie arrived earlier. He's waiting for you." I bite the inside of my cheek.If I can make it through tonight, it will be a miracle. "Ansel invited him." "Then I have to thank him." Ryan said with a hidden knife in his smile. "I think it's a good thing," Brin said, with a slightly defensive tone in his voice, "Logan wants us to watch over him. It shouldn't be all on Calle. It should be on the Clan responsibility." "Of course." Ryan's angry tone gradually faded, "We should help her take care of this kid." "We'll see if he can hold his own outside of school." Dax grinned. Fay whispered something in his ear and he laughed out loud. "Do you have any information to share?" I leaned forward and grabbed her wrist tightly. She tried to wring my grip from my hand. "No." Breen let out a hissing inhalation, and Fay stopped struggling. "I'm sorry, Ka. I didn't mean any disrespect to you," she said quickly. "We were just joking in private." "I see." I stared at her until she didn't dare to meet my eyes and looked away.Ryan squeezed my shoulder and I released her wrist. "Don't get excited," he said. "We're out to relax tonight. Dax, bring another round of drinks to our table." Dax nodded, patted Fay's leg, and walked toward the bar. Ansel, Mason, and Shay took other seats at the table. "Hey, everyone." Ryan smiled at them, "Glad you're joining us, Shay." I tried to ignore the sudden sharp look on Ryan's face, that of a werewolf on patrol. "Isn't that man the bartender in Eden?" Brin's eyes were fixed on the stage. The two men walked onto the stage with Neville.I recognized the Bane in the Eden Club, but at this moment he had a bass slung over his shoulder. "That's Caleb," Mason said. "Yes, he works in Eden. He's a good friend of Neville's." "Who's that guy playing the drums?" Ansel asked. "Tom," Mason said, "he's the owner of this bar, and he likes to hang out with the local musicians who play here." Neville spoke into the microphone.Even with the amplification, it was difficult to hear his quiet voice amidst the din. "Sabina. We need you. Please come on stage with your chair." My folks were all looking at her, surprised, and the Banes were smiling at each other.Ryan pulled my chair closer to him.Then he slid his arm around my waist.Shay and I looked at each other for a moment, then I turned my gaze back to the musicians, feeling like a rope in a tug-of-war. Sabina walked to the stage, dragging her chair behind her.Neville handed her a tambourine and placed a microphone in front of her. "What's going on here?" Brin asked. "Sabina sings for Neville. Sometimes they do a duet," Ryan said. "She has a beautiful voice." "Really?" Brin said, grabbing a handful of peanuts. "Who would have thought that?" Cosette glared at her. "Good evening." Neville's voice caught our attention. "I'm Neville. Caleb is our bass player. You all know Tom, and the lovely Sabina will be joining the show tonight." The only applause in the audience came from our tables.Obviously the other bar patrons weren't there for the music. Neville nodded to Tom.The bar owner and Caleb exchanged quick glances, and a moment later the bass and drums began a slow, monotonous rhythm.A smile played on Neville's lips; he put his fingers on the strings of the guitar, and he began to sing. Mason grinned at me, and I nodded back.Yes.I get it now. Sabina sang the harmony.Her voice was sweet and dark, like the first shadow of night in the twilight.The music poured into my pulse, as if grit and silk blended into one, delicate and intoxicating. The Banes leaned forward in unison, infected by the jumping rhythm of Neville's song.My own body seemed to be humming along to the bass line. I saw Bryn's feet gliding along the ground, as if they were flowing slowly along an invisible river of sound.She looked at Ansel, her eyes sparkling. "You promised me you'd dance with me." "So fast?" Ansel protested. "I kind of want to listen to the music a little longer." Her lips were drawn into a thin line, but Shay spoke. "I'll go dance." He turned to my brother, "if you don't mind." "The lady has the final say." Ansel gestured to Brin. Bryn couldn't hide the look of surprise on her face, but she quickly held out her hands to Shay and flashed a mischievous grin. "Then, let's go." Shay led her onto the uneven floor.The two of them began to swing around the front of the stage, drawing interested looks from some motorcyclists.Neville nodded and smiled, and Shay put his arms around Bryn, leading her into a dance. "Well," Ansel murmured, "he's pretty good." "Nervous?" I laughed out loud. He grinned at me. "It's nothing to be nervous about. She's not what Shay is after." "Where did you say that?" Ryan wrapped his arms around my waist tightly. Ansel flinched. "I'm so sorry, buddy. I'm just saying it offhand." "Let me tell you, he's a pretty good dancer." Ryan's black eyes sparkled, "But I think we have to show him what kind of dancer is called a master." I tensed up, but to my surprise he turned to Cosette. "Want to dance?" Her big eyes widened even further, but she still smiled shyly and nodded.He took her hand and they left the table together.Dax grabs Faye's arm and they both follow the couple away. I can't help frowning. "What a strange scene," Ansel said. "Are you all right?" "I'm fine," I said.Ryan led Cosette away so suddenly, which made me a little annoyed, but I tried my best to ignore my anger. Will the situation become like this after the marriage ceremony?Would he just leave with the other girls at will? "Don't worry, Caller," Mason said. "Shay is a thorn in his side, and he just wants you to think he doesn't care." "Let him go," I said, embarrassed by their concern. "I don't have to dance with Ryan." Mason tapped his knuckles quickly on the table. "But you must dance." He stood up and held out his hand to me. "Great, I'm the only one without a date," Ansel said as I stood up. "Where's Sabina? I need her." "I think Sabina tried to bite you before she danced with you," I said. "True." He grinned, "I'll wait until Brin remembers that I'm the one she likes." "That's a good plan," Mason said, taking my hand and leaving the table. We hadn't even gotten to the front of the stage when the music suddenly eased up. "It's so romantic." Mason kissed me on the cheek. I laughed out loud as he spun slowly along the uneven floor. Mason suddenly pulled out his hands from my waist, and slowly moved his other hands around my hips. "Leave it to me here, Mason." Ryan said from directly behind me. "Of order." Mason lowered his head. Ryan turned me around and put his arms around me. "That's rude," I said.The way he dumped me earlier stuck with me more than the way he interrupted our dance, "You could have waited for us to finish." He just smiles. "No. I want to dance with you right now." "Okay. We're dancing. Are you happy?" "It's almost there." His lips brushed against my forehead lightly.I watched the sloping floor carefully for fear of tripping. "Don't you want to know what makes me happy?" he teased. "I'm not sure." The dark color in his pupils, like a storm coming, made my skin feel chapped, like an electric shock. "I'll drive you home tonight." He put his hand in his pocket, "I want you to see something." "what?" A silver light flashed before my eyes.Bunch of keys. "our house." I stared at him, then moved my gaze to the bunch of keys again. "our house?" "In the new compound. The house is ready. I asked Logan if he could have a look, and he gave me the keys. I'm sure I can play you a bunch of keys if you want." "Us—our house?" My tongue began to tangle again. "That's right, Calle." He grinned. "After the marriage ceremony, we'll live together in that house. We'll be an alpha couple then. Remember?" "Where do you want to go tonight?" "Just wanted to see it." "Logan agreed?" "Logan doesn't need to know that I'm taking you with me." He shook the key in front of me, "Besides, aren't you curious?" "A little bit." What made me even more curious was what Ryan was up to when we got there. He smiled and slid one hand back to my waist. I squinted my eyes. "Are you going to drive me home right after we see the house?" "That's up to you," he said softly, stroking my cheekbones with his thumb, "but I'd love to see if I can talk you out of being a real lady like your mother wanted you to be." "So you did hear what she said," I complained, blushing.I don't want to be a lady.It just meant that I had to pretend that I had only a sense of responsibility, and kill all other feelings. "She wants to protect your virginity, and I can't blame her," he said, grinning. "I'd love to please her, but maybe the two of us can have a little slumber party in our new house. God knows The world knows, you know and I know. I promise not to reveal the secret." I kicked him lightly in the shin. "I don't believe you. Stop talking." "Maybe there's not much fun to look forward to in that," he went on, with no pity in his eyes. "I'm very agile. I dare say I can jump on rooftops, slide down, and slip through windows. In your bedroom. I'll surprise you some night soon." I froze in his arms. "You wouldn't do that." "Yeah, I wouldn't do that." He laughed. "Unless you ask." The pounding of my heart was in stark contrast to the soothing rhythm of Neville's singing. "This is where you belong, Calle." He pulled me into his arms and cupped my chin. "Stay with me. Tell me this is your wish." I can't avoid his eyes. "My wish?" "Yes. Anything you want, anything you need, I'll make it come true. Forever. I promise you. Just tell me one thing." "What's up?" "Tell me it's your wish, we're together." He whispered so softly that I could barely hear him, "Tell me you'll fall in love with me someday." My arms around his neck began to tremble. "Ryan, you know we're going to be together. We've known it all along." He stared at me hard. "That's not what I said." "Why are you asking me that question?" I tried to back away, but he held me tight. A smile flickered on his lips. "Why not?" I am irritated. "Are you trying to say you love me?" I didn't take it seriously when I asked the question just to show him off, but there was a fire in his eyes. "What do you think?" His lips touched mine, at first he just touched lightly, then the two lips gradually closed my mouth and parted my lips.Surprised, I froze in his arms.But he still continued to rub my lips with his own, soft and cautious, but somewhat urgent.I sink into the kiss, Ryan's passion consuming me, and I nuzzle his hands around my waist, knowing that doing so will make him hold me tighter. The sound of banging on boards and shattering glass brought me back to the bar. damn it.I knew it was a terrible idea. I turned around abruptly, expecting to see Shay heading straight for us.However, he didn't look at us.All eyes were turned elsewhere. The music stopped abruptly.The table where the group of young werewolves had been sitting was overturned.Broken glass littered the floor; the ones that were still intact rolled down the sloping hardwood floor toward the far corner of the bar.Dax grabbed Mason's shirt and stood in front of him, screaming.It looked like Mason had grabbed Dax's other fisting hand, as he squeezed the big boy's hand and pushed it away.Fay stood beside Dax.Ansel grabbed Dax's forearm with both hands, trying to pull the Bane away from Mason.Shay stood just behind Ansel, his muscles tensed.Brin half-slumped from his chair and glared at Fay. Ryan backed away from me. "What the hell are you doing?" He rushed towards Dax with a stride, and I followed closely behind. Mason's face twisted and his brows were tightly locked. "You have no right to do that." "And you should learn how to shut up." "Stop messing around." Ansel tugged on Dax's arm, but couldn't pull him half a step. "He's right, Dax," Shay said. "What's the matter with you?" "Shut up. Mind your own business," Fay snapped. Neville shoved his guitar to a surprised Sabina and jumped off the stage to Mason's side.He glared at Dax. "Cut it off, buddy. Do you know what you're doing?" Dax ignored him. I looked around the bar, worried that we would be kicked out soon.However, the other regulars continued to drink on their own, dismissing the usual quarrel. Ryan squeezed Dax's shoulder. "Let go of him and wait for me outside. Go now." Dax let go of his grip on Mason's shirt, gave him one last furious look, then turned and walked out of the bar.Fay followed a few paces behind him. "Where do you think you're going?" I blocked her way. "I'm sorry, Ka." There was a firm look in her eyes, "I support him in this matter." "Mind yourself, Fay," I growled. She shows no weakness. "Do you have a problem with me?" "You'll know when I know what's going on." "Okay." She walked around me and ran after Dax. Neville began to follow behind them, his eyes full of anger. Ryan grabbed his arm. "Go back to the stage and continue the show. Everything that happened just now is over." "But--" "I'm fine, Neville." Mason put a hand on Neville's shoulder, "We'll work it out. Go back to the show." Neville reluctantly walked back towards the stage, and the music started again a moment later, though the anger was palpable in the riff now. "Who's going to tell me what the hell happened?" I asked. "It's no big deal." Mason helped Cosette straighten the table, "As Ryan said, everything is over now." "How can this be called no big deal?" Ansel protested. "What happened?" Ryan asked. "Really, don't make a fuss about it," Mason said, twisting his face. "He's having a tantrum, that's all." "I don't think you can stop there, Mason," Shay said quietly. "This is a big deal. Dax just went too far." I turned to Brin and asked, "What did Dax do?" She glanced at Mason and Ansel. "He didn't like some of what Mason said... about Neville." Ryan tightened his jaw. "I see." He started walking towards the door, and I followed closely behind him.He turned suddenly when we were in the middle of the bar. "I'll take care of this, Calle." "I've got to go," I said, "it's a matter of both of us." He shook his head. "I can handle this. Dax already knows he's going to be punished. You'd better stay here and try to reassure everyone else that everything will be alright." "Okay." It was already happening.Ryan now takes the lead. I watched him leave the bar. How can I possibly reassure everyone that things are going to be alright?Everything sucks. I was full of anger, and my tense muscles were throbbing.I resented being treated less than him.I've been the leader of the pack all this time, and all of a sudden all these years of being an alpha seem worthless.I'm just Ryan's spouse.I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Shay standing beside me. "The atmosphere just now was really tense." I nodded. "It's a real problem. Dax and Fay are unhappy with Neville and Mason's relationship." "I noticed." He glanced toward the door. "What do you think Ryan will do?" "I don't know," I said, "but I trust him." I had no choice. "You have to do this." He said, with the corners of his mouth slightly raised, "but..." "But what?" "Can I invite you to dance with me?" I blinked straight at him. "What did you say?" "Ryan is already on the dance floor with you," Shay said, "now it's my turn." "I don't remember ever agreeing to an agreement like this." I stepped back. "And, I have to talk to other people to get things back to normal." "I've expected that," he said, "and I'll help you." I frowned at him, puzzled, while he wrapped his arms around my waist and held my other hand with the other.He drew me close, holding our arms straight as arrows. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked. "Tango," he replied, leading me into an exaggerated slide. "How does that help?" I glanced at my fellow pack.They were all looking at both of us with puzzled looks on their faces. "Music won't soothe the beast, Ka," Shay said, leaning me back so my hair brushed the ground, "but laughter will." I looked over to our tables again, and was taken aback by what I saw.Shay's plan worked.Ansel and Mason were already laughing to themselves.Brin was giggling wildly, and even Cosette couldn't help smiling. Shay sighed and spun me away, then pulled me back like I was a coil spring. "It would be much better if I had a rose in my mouth. How handsome I should be!" I started giggling. "You'd be funny like that." "That's hilariously stylish." He grinned.Now even the bikers along the bar are laughing, Santa Claus on their tough faces. I snuggled into Shay's warm body.When he hugged me tightly, I really believed that everything was going to be okay.I don't know if he understood that he made me feel happy even though I was always full of fear for the future.A sudden pang of regret gripped my chest and snuffed out my laughter.Shay's feelings must have been deeply hurt by that scene where Ryan and I had our lips together.He deserves better happiness, but I can never give him this kind of happiness. "Aren't you mad at me?" I asked as he led me to pirouette like a ballerina. "Why are you mad at you?" he asked. "You're not that stubborn. Fay and Dax are going to hell, I think." He didn't see the kiss. I was instantly relieved, but soon I was bitten by guilt. Why don't I want him to know about it?It's not fair to hide the truth. Nothing will change the fate before Ryan and me.Shay needs to understand this more than anyone else.Yet, looking at his smiling face, his glowing eyes, I couldn't muster up the courage to mention the kiss. "I think you'd better share your brilliant trick with Neville," I said, "I don't want him to think we're mocking him." "Neville's a good sense of humor," Shay replied, leaning me back again. "I think he'll understand." "Just be sure." I glanced towards the stage.Shay seems to be right.Although Neville looked a bit dazed, he also smiled from ear to ear. "You know, if I kiss you at the end of this dance, we'll get thunderous applause," Shay said, holding me up on tiptoe, head bent. His smirk made me laugh. "If you kiss me now, Ryan will kill you." "In love and war, all is fair," he said. "At least I can die happily." "You're terrible." I dug my nails into his shoulder, "Pull me up!" "I just don't want to disappoint our audience," he said. "So, they can only endure disappointment." The blood all over my body rushed to my head, and I felt dizzy, "I have told you clearly, if you dare to kiss me again, you will bear the consequences. I think, Then you'll miss your hands." He straightened my body, but then he leaned me to the other side. "Do you always solve all problems with the threat of force?" "Not at all." "You're lying." He put me down, and when my feet hit the ground, I was dizzy, but my body felt light. Shay started doing the polka again and I couldn't help but giggle out loud.Neville shook his head, but he also started laughing.The music stopped abruptly; I couldn't hear what Neville was saying to the rest of the band.But after a while, they started playing a punk rock version of "Rolling the Beer Barrel." Shay led me into a twirl, the dance getting faster and faster. "I told you it would work!" I lay on top of him, dizzy but ecstatic, with one cheek on his shoulder.That's when I saw Ryan.He was standing in the doorway, his eyes fixed on both of us.He was motionless, like a stone sculpture. I hastily retreated from Shay's arms. "I think the show is over." "Great," he murmured, following my gaze. "Go talk to him." "I'm sorry." After I finished speaking, I stumbled away from him. The rotation and leaning up just now made me a little wobbly. "I know you have to." He smiled faintly. "I'm going to hang out with Mason and Ansel to see if any of them want to know where I learned all these crazy polka moves." I turned to Ryan, but my stomach was churning violently.He crossed the dance floor, his sombre face irritating me all of a sudden.I'm not doing anything wrong.I thought about the drive home, our new house, the wedding ceremony, and suddenly I wanted to say no to everything Ryan wanted. "Which one was that?" Ryan snarled. "We're just trying to ease the tension," I said in a calm voice, waving to our tables, where the clansmen were sitting and laughing. "We're just kidding. Look at us victories." "Can't you come up with a solution that doesn't require Shay to mess with you?" "It's not what you think it is!" I yelled.I can't wait for it to be like that. "Okay," he said, taking my hand. "Don't let this happen again. I don't want to see another man touch you." another man?Ryan has been referring to Shay as "that kid" ever since we first met him.It seems that this alpha male is really suffering from jealousy. "Of course, Ryan." I shook his hand away, "but sorry, I think I'm exhausted tonight." "What do you mean by that?" "I'm leaving," I said, "I did everything you asked me to do. The whole Clan is happy. Now I just want to get out of here." "Come on." Ryan sighed, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear.It just makes me feel like a kid, so I brush his hand away. "I'm not blaming you." He tried again. "You're right, that kid annoys me. I don't mean to be jealous. You didn't do anything wrong." 他似乎是真心诚意的，但我实在是太生气了，难以释怀。他又一次用了“那个小子”的字眼——只不过这一次他训斥我的方式就像是在训斥一个小女孩一样。 “谢谢你坦诚相待，”我说道，“但我不想留下来。请别强迫我。” 我知道他可以这么做，我很讨厌这一点。 “你要去哪儿呢？”他问道。 “我要去森林里。那里才是狼的晚间归宿。”我咧嘴露出尖牙朝他一笑，“或许我听到了月亮的召唤。” “我希望你留下来陪我，”他缓缓说道，“但是，我不会强迫你的。” “好极了。”我趁他还没接着开口说话之前走开了。 我怒气冲冲地闯出了酒吧，中途还因用力过猛而踢烂了一把椅子。酒吧外面，夜晚寒冷的空气噬咬着我的皮肤，将我紧绷的四肢舒展开来。费伊和达克斯依然站在停车场上，凑着头低声交谈。 达克斯见到我时既惊讶又恼怒。“瑞恩派你出来好把我们再训斥一顿吗？”他面向我，收紧他宽阔的肩膀问道。 “我跟你们俩没啥话好说的。”我厉声吼道，从他们身旁走过，然后放开步子跑了起来。我变换身形，头也不回地离开了燃烬酒吧，朝森林里飞奔而去。
Notes:
Mason turned onto the gravel road in the Land Rover.Parked side-by-side with the motorcycles driven by the bar's regulars, the flamboyant vehicle looked out of place. Breen unbuckled his seatbelt. "I don't know why we have to come here. I'd rather go to Eden." "Neville isn't playing at Eden," said Mason. "Besides, it's nice for a change." "Trust me, this place is better than Eden." My guts started to twitch at the thought of going back to Ifran's club.Mason and I exchanged glances.We didn't say it, but I knew what we were both thinking.Logan would never show his face in Ashes. Ansel wrapped his arms around Brin's waist and lifted her out of the car. "You're going to have a good time, you know that." She pouted and didn't smile until he kissed her. Embers Bar was built ten years ago on the site of a roadside coffee house that had been devoured by fire.The new manager of the site did not tear down the original damaged building, but built the bar around the old site.Charred, smoked wood can be seen here and there like misplaced pieces of modern art in this small space.The floor made of hardwood strips is obviously upturned, and the slope of some places is very steep, which is easy to trip people. The only flickering light in the bar comes from the various neon beer signs hanging on the walls.The smog that hung in the air like a veil shot up my nostrils, masking other smells.A group of grey-haired regulars sat on staggered stools along the bar, while leather-coated bikers sat around tables in dark corners.Directly opposite the bar is a low platform used as a stage. Neville sat on the edge of the stage, his legs dangling, his guitar resting casually on his lap.Shay leaned against the edge of the platform.Neville saw us and gave us a slight nod.Ansel and Mason immediately walked towards the stage. Breen pinned her fingers to mine. "Their discussion on music is very heated. Would you like to find a seat?" I followed her gaze across to Ryan, Dax, Fay, Sabina, and Cosette sitting together. "OK." As we approached the table, Ryan stood up and held out his hand to me. "I'm glad you're here." My pulse was pounding but I walked over to him and let him wrap his arms around me and lead me to the chair next to his. "Thanks," I whisper into the folds of his leather jacket, and we sit down.Brin sat down in the chair on the other side of me. "Hi everyone," I smiled at the other werewolves, "nice to meet you." "Hey, Caller," Dax said. Sabina smiled slightly.Cosette was speaking softly, but the noise of the crowd in the bar prevented me from hearing her words. "Faye." I glanced at my groupmate and sat down on the chair, "Mason said Dax drove you here." "Yes." She moved her seat closer to Dax. I opened my mouth to speak, but on second thought I decided to keep silent.Let's see how they develop. Ryan looked up the stage, but after a while his eyes fell on Shay. "Your groupie arrived earlier. He's waiting for you." I bite the inside of my cheek.If I can make it through tonight, it will be a miracle. "Ansel invited him." "Then I have to thank him." Ryan said with a hidden knife in his smile. "I think it's a good thing," Brin said, with a slightly defensive tone in his voice, "Logan wants us to watch over him. It shouldn't be all on Calle. It should be on the Clan responsibility." "Of course." Ryan's angry tone gradually faded, "We should help her take care of this kid." "We'll see if he can hold his own outside of school." Dax grinned. Fay whispered something in his ear and he laughed out loud. "Do you have any information to share?" I leaned forward and grabbed her wrist tightly. She tried to wring my grip from my hand. "No." Breen let out a hissing inhalation, and Fay stopped struggling. "I'm sorry, Ka. I didn't mean any disrespect to you," she said quickly. "We were just joking in private." "I see." I stared at her until she didn't dare to meet my eyes and looked away.Ryan squeezed my shoulder and I released her wrist. "Don't get excited," he said. "We're out to relax tonight. Dax, bring another round of drinks to our table." Dax nodded, patted Fay's leg, and walked toward the bar. Ansel, Mason, and Shay took other seats at the table. "Hey, everyone." Ryan smiled at them, "Glad you're joining us, Shay." I tried to ignore the sudden sharp look on Ryan's face, that of a werewolf on patrol. "Isn't that man the bartender in Eden?" Brin's eyes were fixed on the stage. The two men walked onto the stage with Neville.I recognized the Bane in the Eden Club, but at this moment he had a bass slung over his shoulder. "That's Caleb," Mason said. "Yes, he works in Eden. He's a good friend of Neville's." "Who's that guy playing the drums?" Ansel asked. "Tom," Mason said, "he's the owner of this bar, and he likes to hang out with the local musicians who play here." Neville spoke into the microphone.Even with the amplification, it was difficult to hear his quiet voice amidst the din. "Sabina. We need you. Please come on stage with your chair." My folks were all looking at her, surprised, and the Banes were smiling at each other.Ryan pulled my chair closer to him.Then he slid his arm around my waist.Shay and I looked at each other for a moment, then I turned my gaze back to the musicians, feeling like a rope in a tug-of-war. Sabina walked to the stage, dragging her chair behind her.Neville handed her a tambourine and placed a microphone in front of her. "What's going on here?" Brin asked. "Sabina sings for Neville. Sometimes they do a duet," Ryan said. "She has a beautiful voice." "Really?" Brin said, grabbing a handful of peanuts. "Who would have thought that?" Cosette glared at her. "Good evening." Neville's voice caught our attention. "I'm Neville. Caleb is our bass player. You all know Tom, and the lovely Sabina will be joining the show tonight." The only applause in the audience came from our tables.Obviously the other bar patrons weren't there for the music. Neville nodded to Tom.The bar owner and Caleb exchanged quick glances, and a moment later the bass and drums began a slow, monotonous rhythm.A smile played on Neville's lips; he put his fingers on the strings of the guitar, and he began to sing. Mason grinned at me, and I nodded back.Yes.I get it now. Sabina sang the harmony.Her voice was sweet and dark, like the first shadow of night in the twilight.The music poured into my pulse, as if grit and silk blended into one, delicate and intoxicating. The Banes leaned forward in unison, infected by the jumping rhythm of Neville's song.My own body seemed to be humming along to the bass line. I saw Bryn's feet gliding along the ground, as if they were flowing slowly along an invisible river of sound.She looked at Ansel, her eyes sparkling. "You promised me you'd dance with me." "So fast?" Ansel protested. "I kind of want to listen to the music a little longer." Her lips were drawn into a thin line, but Shay spoke. "I'll go dance." He turned to my brother, "if you don't mind." "The lady has the final say." Ansel gestured to Brin. Bryn couldn't hide the look of surprise on her face, but she quickly held out her hands to Shay and flashed a mischievous grin. "Then, let's go." Shay led her onto the uneven floor.The two of them began to swing around the front of the stage, drawing interested looks from some motorcyclists.Neville nodded and smiled, and Shay put his arms around Bryn, leading her into a dance. "Well," Ansel murmured, "he's pretty good." "Nervous?" I laughed out loud. He grinned at me. "It's nothing to be nervous about. She's not what Shay is after." "Where did you say that?" Ryan wrapped his arms around my waist tightly. Ansel flinched. "I'm so sorry, buddy. I'm just saying it offhand." "Let me tell you, he's a pretty good dancer." Ryan's black eyes sparkled, "But I think we have to show him what kind of dancer is called a master." I tensed up, but to my surprise he turned to Cosette. "Want to dance?" Her big eyes widened even further, but she still smiled shyly and nodded.He took her hand and they left the table together.Dax grabs Faye's arm and they both follow the couple away. I can't help frowning. "What a strange scene," Ansel said. "Are you all right?" "I'm fine," I said.Ryan led Cosette away so suddenly, which made me a little annoyed, but I tried my best to ignore my anger. Will the situation become like this after the marriage ceremony?Would he just leave with the other girls at will? "Don't worry, Caller," Mason said. "Shay is a thorn in his side, and he just wants you to think he doesn't care." "Let him go," I said, embarrassed by their concern. "I don't have to dance with Ryan." Mason tapped his knuckles quickly on the table. "But you must dance." He stood up and held out his hand to me. "Great, I'm the only one without a date," Ansel said as I stood up. "Where's Sabina? I need her." "I think Sabina tried to bite you before she danced with you," I said. "True." He grinned, "I'll wait until Brin remembers that I'm the one she likes." "That's a good plan," Mason said, taking my hand and leaving the table. We hadn't even gotten to the front of the stage when the music suddenly eased up. "It's so romantic." Mason kissed me on the cheek. I laughed out loud as he spun slowly along the uneven floor. Mason suddenly pulled out his hands from my waist, and slowly moved his other hands around my hips. "Leave it to me here, Mason." Ryan said from directly behind me. "Of order." Mason lowered his head. Ryan turned me around and put his arms around me. "That's rude," I said.The way he dumped me earlier stuck with me more than the way he interrupted our dance, "You could have waited for us to finish." He just smiles. "No. I want to dance with you right now." "Okay. We're dancing. Are you happy?" "It's almost there." His lips brushed against my forehead lightly.I watched the sloping floor carefully for fear of tripping. "Don't you want to know what makes me happy?" he teased. "I'm not sure." The dark color in his pupils, like a storm coming, made my skin feel chapped, like an electric shock. "I'll drive you home tonight." He put his hand in his pocket, "I want you to see something." "what?" A silver light flashed before my eyes.Bunch of keys. "our house." I stared at him, then moved my gaze to the bunch of keys again. "our house?" "In the new compound. The house is ready. I asked Logan if he could have a look, and he gave me the keys. I'm sure I can play you a bunch of keys if you want." "Us—our house?" My tongue began to tangle again. "That's right, Calle." He grinned. "After the marriage ceremony, we'll live together in that house. We'll be an alpha couple then. Remember?" "Where do you want to go tonight?" "Just wanted to see it." "Logan agreed?" "Logan doesn't need to know that I'm taking you with me." He shook the key in front of me, "Besides, aren't you curious?" "A little bit." What made me even more curious was what Ryan was up to when we got there. He smiled and slid one hand back to my waist. I squinted my eyes. "Are you going to drive me home right after we see the house?" "That's up to you," he said softly, stroking my cheekbones with his thumb, "but I'd love to see if I can talk you out of being a real lady like your mother wanted you to be." "So you did hear what she said," I complained, blushing.I don't want to be a lady.It just meant that I had to pretend that I had only a sense of responsibility, and kill all other feelings. "She wants to protect your virginity, and I can't blame her," he said, grinning. "I'd love to please her, but maybe the two of us can have a little slumber party in our new house. God knows The world knows, you know and I know. I promise not to reveal the secret." I kicked him lightly in the shin. "I don't believe you. Stop talking." "Maybe there's not much fun to look forward to in that," he went on, with no pity in his eyes. "I'm very agile. I dare say I can jump on rooftops, slide down, and slip through windows. In your bedroom. I'll surprise you some night soon." I froze in his arms. "You wouldn't do that." "Yeah, I wouldn't do that." He laughed. "Unless you ask." The pounding of my heart was in stark contrast to the soothing rhythm of Neville's singing. "This is where you belong, Calle." He pulled me into his arms and cupped my chin. "Stay with me. Tell me this is your wish." I can't avoid his eyes. "My wish?" "Yes. Anything you want, anything you need, I'll make it come true. Forever. I promise you. Just tell me one thing." "What's up?" "Tell me it's your wish, we're together." He whispered so softly that I could barely hear him, "Tell me you'll fall in love with me someday." My arms around his neck began to tremble. "Ryan, you know we're going to be together. We've known it all along." He stared at me hard. "That's not what I said." "Why are you asking me that question?" I tried to back away, but he held me tight. A smile flickered on his lips. "Why not?" I am irritated. "Are you trying to say you love me?" I didn't take it seriously when I asked the question just to show him off, but there was a fire in his eyes. "What do you think?" His lips touched mine, at first he just touched lightly, then the two lips gradually closed my mouth and parted my lips.Surprised, I froze in his arms.But he still continued to rub my lips with his own, soft and cautious, but somewhat urgent.I sink into the kiss, Ryan's passion consuming me, and I nuzzle his hands around my waist, knowing that doing so will make him hold me tighter. The sound of banging on boards and shattering glass brought me back to the bar. damn it.I knew it was a terrible idea. I turned around abruptly, expecting to see Shay heading straight for us.However, he didn't look at us.All eyes were turned elsewhere. The music stopped abruptly.The table where the group of young werewolves had been sitting was overturned.Broken glass littered the floor; the ones that were still intact rolled down the sloping hardwood floor toward the far corner of the bar.Dax grabbed Mason's shirt and stood in front of him, screaming.It looked like Mason had grabbed Dax's other fisting hand, as he squeezed the big boy's hand and pushed it away.Fay stood beside Dax.Ansel grabbed Dax's forearm with both hands, trying to pull the Bane away from Mason.Shay stood just behind Ansel, his muscles tensed.Brin half-slumped from his chair and glared at Fay. Ryan backed away from me. "What the hell are you doing?" He rushed towards Dax with a stride, and I followed closely behind. Mason's face twisted and his brows were tightly locked. "You have no right to do that." "And you should learn how to shut up." "Stop messing around." Ansel tugged on Dax's arm, but couldn't pull him half a step. "He's right, Dax," Shay said. "What's the matter with you?" "Shut up. Mind your own business," Fay snapped. Neville shoved his guitar to a surprised Sabina and jumped off the stage to Mason's side.He glared at Dax. "Cut it off, buddy. Do you know what you're doing?" Dax ignored him. I looked around the bar, worried that we would be kicked out soon.However, the other regulars continued to drink on their own, dismissing the usual quarrel. Ryan squeezed Dax's shoulder. "Let go of him and wait for me outside. Go now." Dax let go of his grip on Mason's shirt, gave him one last furious look, then turned and walked out of the bar.Fay followed a few paces behind him. "Where do you think you're going?" I blocked her way. "I'm sorry, Ka." There was a firm look in her eyes, "I support him in this matter." "Mind yourself, Fay," I growled. She shows no weakness. "Do you have a problem with me?" "You'll know when I know what's going on." "Okay." She walked around me and ran after Dax. Neville began to follow behind them, his eyes full of anger. Ryan grabbed his arm. "Go back to the stage and continue the show. Everything that happened just now is over." "But--" "I'm fine, Neville." Mason put a hand on Neville's shoulder, "We'll work it out. Go back to the show." Neville reluctantly walked back towards the stage, and the music started again a moment later, though the anger was palpable in the riff now. "Who's going to tell me what the hell happened?" I asked. "It's no big deal." Mason helped Cosette straighten the table, "As Ryan said, everything is over now." "How can this be called no big deal?" Ansel protested. "What happened?" Ryan asked. "Really, don't make a fuss about it," Mason said, twisting his face. "He's having a tantrum, that's all." "I don't think you can stop there, Mason," Shay said quietly. "This is a big deal. Dax just went too far." I turned to Brin and asked, "What did Dax do?" She glanced at Mason and Ansel. "He didn't like some of what Mason said... about Neville." Ryan tightened his jaw. "I see." He started walking towards the door, and I followed closely behind him.He turned suddenly when we were in the middle of the bar. "I'll take care of this, Calle." "I've got to go," I said, "it's a matter of both of us." He shook his head. "I can handle this. Dax already knows he's going to be punished. You'd better stay here and try to reassure everyone else that everything will be alright." "Okay." It was already happening.Ryan now takes the lead. I watched him leave the bar. How can I possibly reassure everyone that things are going to be alright?Everything sucks. I was full of anger, and my tense muscles were throbbing.I resented being treated less than him.I've been the leader of the pack all this time, and all of a sudden all these years of being an alpha seem worthless.I'm just Ryan's spouse.I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Shay standing beside me. "The atmosphere just now was really tense." I nodded. "It's a real problem. Dax and Fay are unhappy with Neville and Mason's relationship." "I noticed." He glanced toward the door. "What do you think Ryan will do?" "I don't know," I said, "but I trust him." I had no choice. "You have to do this." He said, with the corners of his mouth slightly raised, "but..." "But what?" "Can I invite you to dance with me?" I blinked straight at him. "What did you say?" "Ryan is already on the dance floor with you," Shay said, "now it's my turn." "I don't remember ever agreeing to an agreement like this." I stepped back. "And, I have to talk to other people to get things back to normal." "I've expected that," he said, "and I'll help you." I frowned at him, puzzled, while he wrapped his arms around my waist and held my other hand with the other.He drew me close, holding our arms straight as arrows. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked. "Tango," he replied, leading me into an exaggerated slide. "How does that help?" I glanced at my fellow pack.They were all looking at both of us with puzzled looks on their faces. "Music won't soothe the beast, Ka," Shay said, leaning me back so my hair brushed the ground, "but laughter will." I looked over to our tables again, and was taken aback by what I saw.Shay's plan worked.Ansel and Mason were already laughing to themselves.Brin was giggling wildly, and even Cosette couldn't help smiling. Shay sighed and spun me away, then pulled me back like I was a coil spring. "It would be much better if I had a rose in my mouth. How handsome I should be!" I started giggling. "You'd be funny like that." "That's hilariously stylish." He grinned.Now even the bikers along the bar are laughing, Santa Claus on their tough faces. I snuggled into Shay's warm body.When he hugged me tightly, I really believed that everything was going to be okay.I don't know if he understood that he made me feel happy even though I was always full of fear for the future.A sudden pang of regret gripped my chest and snuffed out my laughter.Shay's feelings must have been deeply hurt by that scene where Ryan and I had our lips together.He deserves better happiness, but I can never give him this kind of happiness. "Aren't you mad at me?" I asked as he led me to pirouette like a ballerina. "Why are you mad at you?" he asked. "You're not that stubborn. Fay and Dax are going to hell, I think." He didn't see the kiss. I was instantly relieved, but soon I was bitten by guilt. Why don't I want him to know about it?It's not fair to hide the truth. Nothing will change the fate before Ryan and me.Shay needs to understand this more than anyone else.Yet, looking at his smiling face, his glowing eyes, I couldn't muster up the courage to mention the kiss. "I think you'd better share your brilliant trick with Neville," I said, "I don't want him to think we're mocking him." "Neville's a good sense of humor," Shay replied, leaning me back again. "I think he'll understand." "Just be sure." I glanced towards the stage.Shay seems to be right.Although Neville looked a bit dazed, he also smiled from ear to ear. "You know, if I kiss you at the end of this dance, we'll get thunderous applause," Shay said, holding me up on tiptoe, head bent. His smirk made me laugh. "If you kiss me now, Ryan will kill you." "In love and war, all is fair," he said. "At least I can die happily." "You're terrible." I dug my nails into his shoulder, "Pull me up!" "I just don't want to disappoint our audience," he said. "So, they can only endure disappointment." The blood all over my body rushed to my head, and I felt dizzy, "I have told you clearly, if you dare to kiss me again, you will bear the consequences. I think, Then you'll miss your hands." He straightened my body, but then he leaned me to the other side. "Do you always solve all problems with the threat of force?" "Not at all." "You're lying." He put me down, and when my feet hit the ground, I was dizzy, but my body felt light. Shay started doing the polka again and I couldn't help but giggle out loud.Neville shook his head, but he also started laughing.The music stopped abruptly; I couldn't hear what Neville was saying to the rest of the band.But after a while, they started playing a punk rock version of "Rolling the Beer Barrel." Shay led me into a twirl, the dance getting faster and faster. "I told you it would work!" I lay on top of him, dizzy but ecstatic, with one cheek on his shoulder.That's when I saw Ryan.He was standing in the doorway, his eyes fixed on both of us.He was motionless, like a stone sculpture. I hastily retreated from Shay's arms. "I think the show is over." "Great," he murmured, following my gaze. "Go talk to him." "I'm sorry." After I finished speaking, I stumbled away from him. The rotation and leaning up just now made me a little wobbly. "I know you have to." He smiled faintly. "I'm going to hang out with Mason and Ansel to see if any of them want to know where I learned all these crazy polka moves." I turned to Ryan, but my stomach was churning violently.He crossed the dance floor, his sombre face irritating me all of a sudden.I'm not doing anything wrong.I thought about the drive home, our new house, the wedding ceremony, and suddenly I wanted to say no to everything Ryan wanted. "Which one was that?" Ryan snarled. "We're just trying to ease the tension," I said in a calm voice, waving to our tables, where the clansmen were sitting and laughing. "We're just kidding. Look at us victories." "Can't you come up with a solution that doesn't require Shay to mess with you?" "It's not what you think it is!" I yelled.I can't wait for it to be like that. "Okay," he said, taking my hand. "Don't let this happen again. I don't want to see another man touch you." another man?Ryan has been referring to Shay as "that kid" ever since we first met him.It seems that this alpha male is really suffering from jealousy. "Of course, Ryan." I shook his hand away, "but sorry, I think I'm exhausted tonight." "What do you mean by that?" "I'm leaving," I said, "I did everything you asked me to do. The whole Clan is happy. Now I just want to get out of here." "Come on." Ryan sighed, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear.It just makes me feel like a kid, so I brush his hand away. "I'm not blaming you." He tried again. "You're right, that kid annoys me. I don't mean to be jealous. You didn't do anything wrong." 他似乎是真心诚意的，但我实在是太生气了，难以释怀。他又一次用了“那个小子”的字眼——只不过这一次他训斥我的方式就像是在训斥一个小女孩一样。 “谢谢你坦诚相待，”我说道，“但我不想留下来。请别强迫我。” 我知道他可以这么做，我很讨厌这一点。 “你要去哪儿呢？”他问道。 “我要去森林里。那里才是狼的晚间归宿。”我咧嘴露出尖牙朝他一笑，“或许我听到了月亮的召唤。” “我希望你留下来陪我，”他缓缓说道，“但是，我不会强迫你的。” “好极了。”我趁他还没接着开口说话之前走开了。 我怒气冲冲地闯出了酒吧，中途还因用力过猛而踢烂了一把椅子。酒吧外面，夜晚寒冷的空气噬咬着我的皮肤，将我紧绷的四肢舒展开来。费伊和达克斯依然站在停车场上，凑着头低声交谈。 达克斯见到我时既惊讶又恼怒。“瑞恩派你出来好把我们再训斥一顿吗？”他面向我，收紧他宽阔的肩膀问道。 “我跟你们俩没啥话好说的。”我厉声吼道，从他们身旁走过，然后放开步子跑了起来。我变换身形，头也不回地离开了燃烬酒吧，朝森林里飞奔而去。
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