Chapter 23 Ten Lessons of a Good Wife - A Love Deeper Than the Sea

At the New York City Social Work Symposium, Secretary of the City Board of Juvenile Families and a social work research expert, Mr. Ethier H. White said: "One of the main reasons for juvenile delinquency is that children lack family warmth and feel that no one loves them." He.” My husband and I both think that statement is very true.In El Reno, Oklahoma, where there is a Commonwealth juvenile reformatory, the common problem of the unfortunate children here is a desire for attention.We used to teach relationships classes to juvenile offenders here. There was a boy who wrote to his mother after taking courses—his mother never wrote to him—that he was taking courses that he felt had changed his formerly bad appearance.Soon his mother wrote back a letter saying that she thought nothing could make him better and that the only place for him was prison.There was also a nineteen-year-old boy, Tommy, who had been in an orphanage and reformatory for at least ten years.He said: "What I longed for most was someone to love me, but no one wanted me. I didn't get anyone's attention until I was sixteen, and I didn't get a present at Christmas."

Love is the best food for the spirit. All spirits depend on it to survive and grow. If a person does not have love, his moral heart will be distorted and changed.These unfortunate children are like a very hungry man who, when he has no food, eats something harmful to his health.So they often start crimes in the absence of emotion, in order to make up for this most basic deficiency. The eminent psychologist Gordon W. Wolpert said, "Generally speaking, the most right thing the average person can do is never feel that another person's love is enough to satisfy him." Indeed. , in human life, the potential of love is as great as atomic energy.It appears every day, and it keeps working wonders.If you truly love your husband, you will be willing to do everything you can to make him successful or to make him happy.So your love for your husband is one of the ingredients that make him successful.

The love between wife and husband can also seriously affect the happiness of children.The president of the American Family Relations Association-Dr. Love each other more, maybe it will be more helpful to the happiness of the children." The following advice is very important, as long as we follow it, we can deepen the degree of love. show love every day My husband's old friend Jim's widow once wrote him a letter.She mentioned many things in the past in her letter. She said sadly: "I never told Jim that I love him and need him very much." precious things.Now, those gone days will never return, and Jim will never hear from them.

The example of this woman is simply too common.Dr. Luis M. Terman studied more than 1,500 married couples. He and his colleagues found that among the most common causes of marital disharmony, most men cited Wives don't know how to show love, second only to nagging. Many women are able to cope with sudden crises with ease.For example, if the husband loses his job, suffers from a serious illness or goes to prison, the wife can be as strong as the rock in the Strait of Gibraltar and give her husband continuous help.However, when her life was stable and peaceful, she was so busy that she forgot everything, and she forgot to give her husband the love dessert he longed for most, which was to tell him how important he was in her heart.It is very sad that this happens.

It is said that the reasons why modern women marry may be for security, to have their own home and children, or even to avoid becoming spinsters.However, the reason why 90% of men get married is simply because they are in love. Have you calmed down and considered this sentence carefully. From my experience, I have observed that the vast majority of women believe that they should be loved and loved by their husbands, who talk sweetly from time to time.Usually, those women who complain that their husbands neglect them and don't know how to praise them rarely express their appreciation and love to their husbands.This neurotic, critical, critical woman is exactly what Dr. William Pollinger described when he said, "Some people love themselves so much that they don't want to share their love with others." That is, In fact, women who can get more compliments from their husbands are often those who can show their love thoughtfully.

“Many husbands take their wives for granted; they never pay attention to what they wear or compliment them; A show of love, so many wives complain about their husbands. But these women treat their husbands with the same indifference and then wonder at their husbands why they like women who constantly praise them for being personable and strong and wonderful .Love hunger is not exclusive to women, men can suffer from the same disease.” Because men have this characteristic of longing for love, some women will deliberately use it to blackmail their husbands in order to get what they want.There is such a case in the Maryland Superior Court: A wife asked her husband to give her the money she wanted, but she didn't get what she wanted, so she didn't talk to her husband.The court held that a person's love cannot be priced like a commodity.So the woman was ruled against.

Someone once made an appropriate metaphor that the indifference of love between husband and wife is like "not enough spiritual food".Because men can survive not only on bread, but also sometimes on a cake sprinkled with sugar—a cake of love. don't care about things The behavior of the children is too naughty and must be strictly controlled; the dinner must be cooked nutritiously and deliciously; , while ignoring the important events around you.When bad things happen, accept it with a good mood, and don't disturb the world because of it. On the contrary, the love between husband and wife can be deeper.

George Jean Nathan said: "When I see a home that is too tidy, I often feel, and soon find, that the love between husband and wife has reached the point of freezing like their mechanical family. .to some extent, warm love and the happiness that comes with love will always create a messy feeling in the family.I sadly found from experience...love and perfect family environment can never coexist.It's a pity , a woman who loves her husband deeply cannot be a perfect housewife." We can guess from Mr. Nathan's amusing hyperbole that he must be a bachelor.But there is a certain truth in his words that deserves our contemplation.Especially for housewives who demand perfection, don't focus on a certain tree and ignore the entire forest.

have a broad mind The most fascinating thing in the world is undoubtedly when people who love each other walk into church together.To love is to give abundantly and generously.Many wives make sacrifices in major matters, but they often care about small matters, lacking in spirit and generosity.For example, you can't treat your husband's former girlfriend calmly.If your husband is inadvertently mentioning today that he ran into a girlfriend from the past, what you should do is to extol her and tell all you know; if you don't know anything, at least make it up. If you ask sourly if that girl is still the same as before, with braids and immature words, then you are too narrow-minded and not generous.

I remember, before my father and mother got married, they were engaged to an attractive red-haired teenage girl.Whenever the mother praised the girl for being beautiful and popular, the father always pretended to be nonchalant and sniggered embarrassedly.Because the father thinks the mother is more beautiful, and the mother knows it too.But it always pleased him that his mother could compliment his father's vision. Thanks for the little things my husband does If a man takes his wife to the theater for a nice evening; if he gives her a bouquet of roses; or even if he just takes out the trash every morning, the wife should thank him.If the wife takes everything he does for granted, there is no doubt that the husband will soon stop doing it to please her.We don't know how many little things our husband does every day, just because we are used to it.I used to think my husband wasn’t doing me much favors—he couldn’t change a baby’s diaper; he couldn’t even turn on a leaky faucet, so asking him to pour a glass of water was a big deal.However, one summer, when he went to Europe, I was surprised to find that he actually did a lot of chores every day, but I never thanked him, and now I can only do it myself.

be considerate and considerate to each other A wife who loves her husband deeply should first meet his needs after returning from work every day, and then consider her own needs.If the husband puts on his slippers and wants to take a break, but we get dressed and want to go out, this is not acceptable. I also had a hard time learning this fact.After Dale and I got married, we spent a week in Oklahoma City on our honeymoon.At that time, I was preoccupied with imagining the traditional American honeymoon trip: candlelight, the beautiful sound of the violin playing; the romantic environment and atmosphere; the language full of praise.But he's there for a week-long series of lectures.So the end result was that I was sitting alone in a quiet hotel room admiring my dowry alone while my new husband sat with the commissioners, conferring with his patrons and working on his own speech.He was so busy that I had to make an appointment to see him.During the short time we were able to get along, all I showed was anger and dissatisfaction.He didn't tell me to pack up and go back to my mom until I went from a spoiled little kid to a big girl.So I consider myself very lucky.Marriage is only for adults. Maybe someone feels that a lot of hard work done by the wife goes unpaid?Will the husband appreciate her generous devotion of the love of her life to her husband?I can totally vouch for it, the husband will appreciate it!Now I have on my desk a letter from Warwick C. Angus.He said in the letter, "Because I married my lovely wife, I feel happier than other men. If I can go back thirty-two years ago, even if I don't understand what is going on now, as long as she wants to Marry me, and I still choose to live with her. The greatest compliment I can give her is to let her know that I am where I am today because of having her by my side." These words are also what other happy husbands think Said.It can be seen from this that a wife who works hard will definitely be respected and loved by her husband. If your husband can find peace and happiness from your beloved, he will have more opportunities to bring you a higher standard of life.What is the point of success without love?Without the basis of love, power and money are as useless as waste.