Chapter 14 Wisdom from a Wife - Always Remember: Stop Talking

Dorothy Dix believes: "Whether a man's married life is happy or not is closely related to his wife's temper. If she is quick-tempered, nagging, and endlessly critical, then even if she has other virtues in the world Both are equal to zero. Many men live dejectedly and have no fighting spirit because his wife beats his every thought and hope. She sighs endlessly, why doesn't her husband make money like other men? Why can't her husband write A best-selling book? Why doesn't her husband get a good job? A husband is really discouraged to have a wife like that. Indeed, extravagance and waste do far less harm to a family than nagging and faultfinding. Expert research will confirm this.

The famous psychologist Dr. Terman has done a detailed investigation on 1,500 couples.Studies have shown that nagging and picky are the wives' greatest weaknesses in the eyes of their husbands.In addition, the Gallup Poll and the Jensen Temperament Analysis—two well-known research institutions, both of which have the same results, found that neither personality type brings as much influence to family life as nagging and fastidiousness. Huge damage. Socrates' wife Lancipo was notoriously fierce. In order to avoid her, Socrates spent most of his time hiding under a tree in Athens to meditate on philosophy; Lincoln suffered from his wife's nagging; Augustus Caesar finally divorced his second wife because he "couldn't bear her violent temper."

However, it is ridiculous that no matter in the ancient times of cave dwelling or now, wives think that nagging and picky can change their husbands.But ancient and modern facts have proved that this method is not effective.Of course, it might be possible if the sun rises in the west. An old friend of mine, from the time he got married, his wife nearly destroyed his career by constantly making fun of his work, belittling everything he did.At that time, he was a salesman and worked with enthusiasm every day because he was very confident in his products.When he returned home, he was full of hope that he would be encouraged by his wife, but he was greeted with sneer and sarcasm: "How is business today? Did you bring back the commission? Did you bring back the manager's letter?" How about a lecture? I think you should know that the rent will be paid soon."

Despite the constant teasing, my friend fought hard.Now he is already the executive vice president of a famous company.As for his wife, he divorced her when he couldn't take it any longer and remarried a young girl who gave him love and support.These are things he never got from his first wife.However, the first wife did not understand why her husband left her.She complained to her friends: "I saved money for him, worked hard for so many years, and when he had money, he went to find younger women. Men are bad things without conscience!"—— She finally came to a sad end. If she had been told that it was her own nagging and faultfinding, not another woman, that caused her husband to leave her, I don't think she would believe it.But it's really true.Always picking on men in a contemptuous way is undoubtedly a great blow and torture to their self-esteem, destroying their confidence in their ability to succeed.

The same thing happened to another friend's son.The young man was only in his twenties, had just gotten a job in the highly competitive advertising industry, and desperately needed love and encouragement to keep fighting.His wife, an active and ambitious person, often impatiently accused her husband of being too clumsy.He said to me in pain that under such constant ridicule and blows, he gradually lost his courage. The most frightening thing is that his confidence has been corroded by his wife, just like a stone will eventually be continuously dripped The water drop erosion is the same.In the end he lost his job and his wife divorced him.But after the divorce, he regained his lost confidence, just as sick people eventually regain their health.

"Why are you so stupid, it took you so long to get promoted? Bill Smith has already been promoted two grades, and the salary is much higher." "My brother is really capable, so he can make money, and bought another fur coat To the wife." "I would have been more comfortable if I had married Herbert." Comparing one's husband to others is the most damaging form of nagging and faultfinding.Complaining, complaining, comparing, belittling, ridiculing, ridiculing, women who are proficient in these cruel behaviors are really terrible, because these behaviors are extremely clever and bloodless.Nagging is hard to learn. It usually comes from habit, and then gradually becomes addicted like a narcotic, and you can never get rid of it.

If a woman in her twenties, when she's just married, harps on when we're going to be able to afford a new house like Martin's, by the time she's forty, she must be a hopeless, obnoxious woman. The complaining expert - nothing satisfies her. Husband and wife live together, and there are almost no quarrels, but ordinary people, as long as they are mentally healthy, will not have emotional cracks due to disputes.If a man is faced with endless and long-term nagging after returning home every day, then no matter how great his career is, he will definitely slip from the peak in the end.There is no doubt that nagging wears down any aggressiveness.

Professor Sham W. Steven once called for four kinds of powers that husbands should have in a speech at the University of Virginia: the power to refuse to nag and pick; the power not to be used; The power to change into old clothes and the power to control indigestion. Our cars are in good driving condition because we check them often.Women who constantly nag their husbands are sometimes in poor health.Therefore, in order to keep our body healthy, we should seek medical check-ups from time to time. Chronic mental exhaustion may well translate into a tendency to nag.An effective treatment is to find out the real cause of fatigue and try to organize your life more efficiently.According to the analysis of psychologists: "Suppression of the spirit can also cause nagging." When a person is hit-marriage problems, sexual setbacks, lover's neglect, dissatisfaction with life-these will cause mental depression , smoldering in my heart, and finally vented out in the way of nagging and complaining.When this happens, she should immediately analyze her psychology, find out the reasons for her mental depression and guide them to vent, so as to eliminate it.Blindly nagging is just making things worse.

There is a provision in the Supreme Court of Georgia that a husband is not guilty of locking himself in the guest room to escape his wife's nagging.The basis of the court is-King Solomon once said, "If you want to suffer from women's idleness in the hall, it is better to stay secretly in the corner of the attic." I really can't see that nagging sometimes becomes a legal mitigating sentence. basis. New York's "World Telecom" magazine published a murder case in which a truck mechanic in his fifties hired three gangsters to brutally kill his wife.As for the reason for his crime, according to his own claim, it was only because his wife kept nagging and complaining.

Now, do you already believe that nagging can be an obstacle to male success?If you do not know whether you have this defect, please ask your husband immediately.You'll be shocked if he calls you a nagging woman, but don't immediately deny it angrily, because you can never correct your mistake unless you recognize it properly.If you are a nagging wife who already understands that nagging is a destructive disease, understands the great pain it causes, and sincerely wants to correct it, would you like to know the remedy?Then, the following six suggestions are very beneficial to you: Let everyone supervise

When you can't help yourself and are quick to rage; when you gossip about the details of a problem, ask them to point it out right away and fine you five bucks. don't repeat speech If you've reminded your husband that he promised to do the dishes and he hasn't responded after six or seven times, it means he doesn't want to do the dishes, so why waste your tongue?The result of nagging will only make him determined not to give in. To achieve the goal in a gentle way Our grandmothers used to say, "To catch more flies, it's much more effective to use something sweet than something sour" and it still rings true to this day. "Honey, if you go and mow the lawn, you'll have your favorite fruit pie for dinner." "Honey, I'm so glad you're so good at mowing our lawn, even Eileen Smith She is very envious, and she said that she really hopes that her husband is as diligent as you." All methods like these will make your goal easier to achieve. develop your sense of humor People who are often unhappy because of trivial matters will have a mental breakdown sooner or later.Some wives even urge their husbands to go to the bathroom to get towels into a rage that is unimaginable.A sensible woman will never pay the price of a French designer for a cheap dress, because they know it is a waste.A sense of humor will keep you in a good mood, only a fool would giggle indiscriminately.However, many people don't understand this truth, and often tense their faces because of some insignificant things, turning love into hatred. Deal with unpleasant events calmly Unpleasant things happen, try not to comment immediately, write them down on a note.Wait until both you and your husband have calmed down before bringing them up for discussion.If it is a trivial matter, you must be ashamed to mention it again.Couples must use mutual trust to remove the cause of the anger and discuss it rationally and calmly. achieve the goal without nagging Master the art of relationships.According to Charles Scooper's experience, the secret to manipulating men is: let them do what you want, and you should use incentives, not drives.Of course he was right, because possessing this ability brought him an annual salary of one million dollars.There is a song that goes like this: A gun can't cover a man, let alone nagging, it will only break his spirit, and your happiness will be farther and farther away.