Chapter 10 Wisdom from Wife - Don't Be a Dusty Pearl

Fourteen years ago, T. W. Hynes and his wife were married in Kentucky.Mrs. Hynes admits that she has many limitations because of her timidity."I was terrified of crowds, didn't like meeting strangers, and because I was hopelessly shy, I rarely attended public dinner parties," she said. Mr. Hines is a young lawyer who has been active in the local political circle and has a bright future.Because of his work, he often needs to meet people, attend conferences, gatherings, social activities and entertainment programs.But his bride Xueli Hein Stan dreaded these scenes.How can I overcome my shyness and meet the needs of my husband's status?Shirley Hines decided to take action to overcome her difficulties, but didn't know how.

One day, Shirley Hines came across this passage in a magazine: "There is nothing human beings are more interested in than themselves. Therefore, in a conversation, you can try to focus on the other person and let him talk about his troubles or successes. , so that you will forget your own existence.” She decided to try the above-mentioned method, and found that this method was really effective. She said: "Now I am no longer afraid to communicate with others. Instead, I hope to meet new friends and visit their homes. I get along very well with them. Because I find that they also have the same confusion and troubles. When I deeply understand them After getting to know them, I like them even more. What makes me most happy is that I am not holding my husband back from being successful because of my social responsibilities. My husband is now a state senator and I often go with him Go somewhere else."

If the wife already has this kind of social ability, that is all the better; if not, she must train herself to learn these abilities like Mrs. Hines. Every wife has the responsibility to equip herself with the social ability that her husband needs in his career.If a wife has the ability to get along well with others, it greatly increases her husband's chances of success, regardless of his occupation. A governor of a certain state in the United States who was born "far away overseas" and grew up in a slum in the city once told me on an informal occasion that the biggest reason for his success was to marry a charming, intelligent and talented man. educated wife.

He said to me, "If I had married the neighbor's girl, I don't think I'd have the desire to further my studies, and I wouldn't have gotten ahead. But, thank God, my wife has everything I lack. .Whether it is dealing with the royal family or nobles, or dealing with the bottom of the society, she can handle it with ease." If you think that your husband is just working in a low-level job and does not need your help, you are very wrong.No one starts out at the top, look at the famous people in business and other fields, they were just young people who were obscure and unknown.Ten, twenty, or thirty years from now, your husband may already be a top figure. Are you ready to build a good name for him?Get started now.

If you think you are as shy as Shirley Hines, get rid of it immediately; if you are not smart enough, or even clumsy, you should learn to respect and appreciate others; if you think you know too little, you should go to night school , instead of hiding behind the useless excuse of "I didn't have a chance at college"; if you can't afford tuition, then hurry to the nearest public library to get knowledge. If a wife is left behind by her husband because she cannot keep up with his progress, she does not deserve sympathy.This kind of person is either too lazy, or just refuses to make the effort to improve herself, even though she is surrounded by endless opportunities.

Mrs. Eric Joston, president of the American Film Association, wrote in the article: "The key to a happy marriage is to keep up with the pace of her husband's continuous advancement in his career." Mrs. Joston advised wives that if they want To catch up with her husband's career pace, she must continue to participate in social activities and expand her circle of friends, and should not be limited to a certain range. She said: "Maybe you feel that your husband doesn't have a career that requires you to constantly expand your social life. When Eric and I first got married, he didn't have such a career. His job was selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door. At that time, None of us know what kind of path we will break out in the future, the only thing I know is that he will succeed no matter what."

No one can predict the future, but a smart person will be prepared and wait for the opportunity to come.One of the basics to learn ahead of time, before your husband gets a chance at success, is to learn how to meet new people and how to get along with them.Regardless of your husband's occupation or his social status, this technique can help your husband in perpetuity.If he is not good at dealing with people, his wife can help him make up for this deficiency; if he is very social and witty in his circle of friends, he will inevitably need his wife's help, because sometimes, he may appear ridiculous ridiculous.

As a researcher for this book, I once had a conversation with the HR director of one of the largest corporations in the United States.He told me with great pride: "Sometimes, because I am so focused on my work, I forget to pay attention to other people's feelings. But my wife will never use being too busy as an excuse to forget to be nice to me." "Everyone likes my wife better. A few days ago I rushed into the laundromat and yelled at the boss. My clothes must be washed this way, without the slightest deviation. He frowned and looked at me for a long time. Huicai said: 'Even if your wife has this attitude, I will feel better.'"

The director continued, "My wife is very caring and kind. She cares about people in every possible way without being annoying. We have all kinds of people in our neighborhood. When we go to Greece My wife greeted him in Greek when he was in a shop owned by an Italian, and said good morning to him in Italian when he walked to the fruit stand on the corner of the street. They never answered me because they took the trouble to learn them It is my wife who speaks, not me. Of course my wife also thinks she has gained something from it." I don't know the director's wife, but I do want to know this lady.Don't you want to associate with her?

Men are often unable to establish a warm interpersonal relationship because of their busy work.He is undoubtedly very lucky if he has a kind and kind woman for his wife.Such a woman is invaluable, setting up a heart-warming aura wherever she goes.Such a wife is the husband's goodwill messenger all over the world, and no matter how far his career advances, she will not be left behind.Like most techniques, this technique requires regular practice.There are many ways in this regard, all of which are very simple, allowing a woman to learn it easily, thus giving her husband a good social foundation.

Mrs. Hans V. Kafbo, whose husband is the president of the American Newscasters Association, is an expert on this subject.In an interview with me, she said: "I have a very strong sixth sense and know how to interrupt subtly, so I already have the nickname of 'interruption expert'. Once at a dinner party, everyone turned the wrong topic. The direction became unpleasant. She found an appropriate time to say, 'Hans, how is the situation of that general so-and-so?' As a result, everyone calmed down immediately." Not only that, but she knows how not to overwork her immensely popular husband.Every time after Mr. Kafpo's speech, many people want to shake his hand and talk to him for a long time, which is not good for his health.So Mrs. Kaftpo would throw in a new topic at the right moment, like: Our car is still waiting, or we're too late for another appointment.On one occasion, after a town hall speech, the audience surrounded Mr. Kafbo and asked many questions.Mrs. Kaftbow knew that her husband would be overwhelmed if the conversation was not ended at once.So she stood up and said, "Excuse me, I have a question. Excuse me, when can Mr. Cuffpo come home for lunch?" The audience was struck by her sense of humor. infected, and Mr. Cuffpo escaped without incident. As a wife, she must guard against arrogance in her successful husband—another very important thing, and doing this will make the husband she wants—or the husband she hopes will be.But to do this well, you must pay attention to skills, otherwise it will bring bad consequences. Earlier in this book, I have described many ways to build male aggressiveness.But we should understand that sometimes we have to frustrate men's arrogance.The premise is that both parties have enough love and an appropriate timing. "She was absolutely right, and my pride burst like a soap bubble after listening to her. Otherwise, I would have almost become a selfish, ignorant clown. I thank my wife for that , she made me realize how little my efforts were." The aforementioned wives—Mrs. Hynes, Mrs. Joston, Mrs. Kafpa, and Mrs. Stowe—knew how to live with their husbands and did them glory.What they do is to make friends on their own merits, to handle any social situation with ease, and to make their husbands aware when they are complacent, so that they can keep their feet on the ground. As long as any woman can do this, she doesn't have to worry about being "the one left behind by her husband".