Chapter 5 Being a good wife is a life's work - which ear to use for him

Bill Jones, who was booming in his career, jumped off a rooftop in Chicago years ago.The main reason was that his business was in crisis, all bank checks could not be cashed, and the constant urging of creditors made Bill very anxious and fearful.Coupled with the fact that he thought his wife could not bear these disasters, because she had always been proud of him, these things would undoubtedly cause her to fall from the peak of happiness to the abyss of pain.He really didn't have the courage to speak. Double pressure forced Bill Jones onto the roof of his warehouse.He jumped down almost without hesitation.if

Judging by gravity and common sense, there was no chance of survival-falling from the fifth floor, knocking a big hole in the awning on the window on the first floor, and falling on the sidewalk.But a miracle happened, it was unbelievable, only the thumb nail was injured all over the body.What's even more ridiculous is that the only thing that paid for it was the awning that he smashed. He was very excited when he found himself alive, and felt that all his troubles were insignificant. A few minutes ago, he would have felt that his life had become gray, a pile of useless garbage.Bill hurried home and told his wife the whole thing.His wife flustered simply because he never talked about these troubles, and soon she sat down to think of a solution to the problem.Under the influence of his wife, for the first time Bill Jones stopped thinking about it and made an accurate decision.

Now Bill Jones has not only repaid all the arrears, but also developed his career smoothly.The most gratifying thing is that he understands that he should share the victory and bear the difficulties with his wife.But Bill Jones at the time didn't know that his wife would definitely get through it with him, and almost lost his precious life. Bill Jones' example proves that if a husband doesn't trust his wife, it's not the wife's fault.Some men think that they shouldn't bother their wives with career troubles, which is wrong.Like the former Bill Jones.They hope to provide their wives with fine fur coats and all the nice things, and want to be big men with successful careers.If things go wrong, their first thought is to hide it from their wives, lest their little heads can't bear the blow.They do not want to admit that they have been conquered.They never realize that no matter what the situation is, their wives are supposed to work it out together.

However, we often see another situation.For example, some men really want to tell their wives about their troubles, but the wives are not interested or don't know how to do so. A company once conducted a survey report on the wives of its employees, which was published in Fuxing Magazine, which quoted a psychologist: "One of the most important things a wife should do is to let her husband enjoy himself. Confidulate the troubles that cannot be vented in the office." The wife who can do her duty is given titles such as "tranquilizer", "resonator", "anti-wailing wall", "gas station" and so on.

At the same time, this survey also pointed out that men generally do not want to listen to advice, they need to listen actively and skillfully.As any woman who has worked outside the home should feel the same way, it is very comforting to have a man at home she can talk to, no matter how good or bad the day is.There is usually no opportunity for an opinion in the office.Even if we encounter a particularly happy thing, we can't sing it there; if we have a lot of troubles, we can't talk to our colleagues, they have enough troubles of their own.So when we get home, we definitely need to vent out loud.

The scene that often appears is this: Bill hurried home, without time to catch his breath, shouted excitedly: "Dear Maybe, you know? Today is really a day to celebrate! The board of directors called me over , report to them in detail about the regional report I did, and ask me to make recommendations, and..." Maybee was absent-minded, obviously thinking about other things: "Really? It's pretty good. My dear, do you want some sauced meat? The person who came to repair the stove this morning said that some parts need to be replaced. You can check it after dinner ?” "Good sweetheart. As I said earlier, I finally got the attention of the board of directors, and Thorok Monton asked me to explain the proposal to the board of directors. To be honest, I was trembling with nervousness, but the situation was very good, and even Billing Stephen appreciates it, he thinks..."

Maybe interrupted: "Bill, I don't think they understand you at all, and they don't value you at all. Tony's teacher wants to talk to you. His grades this semester are really bad. If he is willing to work hard, his grades will be fine." Better. There is nothing I can do about your precious son." At this moment, Bill finally realized that in this war for the right to speak, he had lost a complete mess.The only thing left to do was to eat his smack down with the beef stroganoff and settle the issue about the stove and Tony's report card. Could it be that Maybe is so selfish that she just wants someone to listen to her problems?Of course not, she just didn't know the time clearly.Since both the husband and wife need an audience, and Bill urgently needs to vent his emotions, Maybe after listening to Bill's limelight in the boardroom, she can talk about stoves and teachers, and Bill will also be willing to listen .

A woman who is good at listening can bring her husband the greatest comfort.Think about it, how can a quiet and unaffected woman who listens attentively to other people's conversations and asks questions that show that she understands every word of the conversation, how can she not succeed?This kind of girl will not only be successful in her husband's boyfriend group, but also in her own girlfriend group. Invisibly, she has immeasurable social assets. Dudi Mooney, famous for his wit, thought that a polite man should be like this: "When the things he knows best are messed up by a layman, he still shows great interest." This description is also suitable for most people. women.

Sometimes, though, a good listener can get annoyed by the frivolous.However, they will always gain from listening, for example, they have a deeper understanding of many people and things. Actress Mona Roy once served as a representative of UNESCO, as she mentioned in an article for the New York Herald Tribune.She said: "I talked to many representatives from different countries and learned a lot about the problems of those different countries. 'Listen and learn' became my own slogan." "Of course it is undeniable," explained Miss Roy, "and you have to put up with boring topics a lot of the time. But it's better to be seen as a good listener than to shut yourself off completely."

What should be done to become a real "good listener"?In my opinion, at least the following three conditions must be met: Listen with your eyes, your face, your whole body, not just your ears. The mind must be fully concentrated.If we listen carefully to someone's conversation, our body will lean forward slightly, our eyes will be fixed on the other person, and the expression on our face will also change according to the content of the conversation. Marjorie Wilson is an expert on this.She said: "If the listener is expressionless, few people will continue to speak. If a sentence moves you, you should move your body and express it; when an idea makes you suddenly open, it is like touching the heart. One string, you should change your sitting posture."

To be a good listener one must show interest in the topic, so we must train our bodies to react and express ourselves quickly.If you want to learn how to listen to conversations with expression, watch the cat waiting outside the mouse hole. Learn to ask leading questions In the question, it has been cleverly implied that the questioner has a special answer in mind, and such questions can be called leading questions.Sometimes straight questions can come off as rude, but leading questions can keep the conversation moving. For example, a straightforward question would be: "Mr. Smith, how do you resolve conflicts between employees and supervisors?" "Mr. Smith, don't you think it's possible to get employees and supervisors to compromise on some scale?" is a leading question. Anyone who wants to be a good listener must have the skill of asking leading questions in a timely manner. Using leading questions is a time-tested technique when listening to a husband because he doesn't want to hear advice.It's very simple, we just need to ask, "Honey, do you think increasing your advertising investment will expand your sales, or is it a risk?" This question is not directly advising him, but this way of asking will play a role. same effect. It's inevitable to be a little shy when talking to strangers, so the best tool for breaking the boredom is the right way of asking questions.When people talk about their own thoughts beyond the weather, the football game, or someone's illness, the atmosphere of the conversation is very harmonious, and one idea can often lead to another. never tell a secret Some men feel that their wives can't keep secrets, will give them everything in their ears and out of their mouths, and will leak work things to her friends at any time, so they never discuss career issues with them. A casual sentence at the bridge table: "After Mr. Virgil retires, John hopes to get his managerial position." The next day John's opponent's wife received a call, so John was completely unaware was secretly excluded. When interviewed by me, a general manager said that he accidentally talked about the company's problems at home, and in the end it spread, which made his employees lose confidence.He said with disgust: "I hate women who talk too much, especially the one who talks about company business in supermarkets and cocktail parties." Some women will even take advantage of their husband's trust and use it as a weapon of attack in future disputes.If this happens a few more times, the woman's husband will find that he has given his wife something to attack him, and will no longer "harass" her with company issues. A wife should not think that she must know the details of her husband's work in order to be a good listener.satisfy him.If her husband draws, he does not want his wife to know the details of drawing, but wants her to be able to pay attention to what is happening to him and be compassionate. I know a friend who is an accountant whose wife knows as little about accounting as I do about molecular theory.But my friend said, "I can tell her about even the most tricky problems that happen in the company because she's intuitive and so smart. It's a wonderful thing to be around, she Will listen to me with the utmost patience.” Really, a woman with a pair of sensitive ears is very lovely, she brings many benefits to her husband, and her beauty even surpasses that of Helen of Troy. Learn the following three things, they can help you become a good listener: 1. Use facial expressions and body posture to express inner feelings. 2. Ask questions intelligently and tactfully. 3. Learn to keep your mouth shut and keep secrets.